by Dawn Tomasko
Granted, the situation he dealt with was difficult at best. But what might happen if an issue even more challenging came between them? Would he shut her out then, like her mother did? As he did now? She couldn't bear it. Best to insulate herself now, before things went much farther and she lost too much of herself.
A long time passed, and she began to shiver. Rubbing her hands over her arms, she tried to get warm. The thick mist seeped through the blanket, soaked her hair and clothes. Cold and damp seeped into her skin, down to her bones. When her tongue ran over her dry lips, she tasted salt.
Sara stood, to stretch the ache from her weary limbs. Clutching the blanket tight, she slowly made her way back to the house with its only light in the window.
After a long, hot shower, she dried her hair. Then she dressed in sweats and a long sleeved shirt. A pair of flannel socks warmed her feet. After she had pulled the sheets to her chin, a faint but distinct scent lingered in the cotton. Gabriel. Senses full of him, her heart clenched in recognition. Curled up on her side, she threw the pillow across the room.
Deliberately, she pushed thoughts of him away. Allowed numbness to pervade her mind and body. Neither Brianna's words and actions, nor Gabriel's lack of them penetrated it.
Tomorrow, I'll be strong. Stand up and deal with life head on. But at this moment, the emptiness yawned deep in her soul, vast and cavernous. Tears poured from her eyes until she drifted off to sleep.
Nicole sat on the bed she shared with Michael in the manor house owned by the Donovan family. Soon, she would take on the family name and all, which came with it.
Michael's handsomeness appealed to her, but he lacked Gabriel's wild dark looks. She liked a man who knew how to please a woman and wanted a chance at Gabriel. When it hadn't gone her way, she turned to his brother. What Michael lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm. Not that it mattered.
This time, she'd get what she wanted. Gabriel seemed determined to ruin her relationship with Michael, but she didn't worry about it. The boy, and now the man, so besotted with her that he would trash his relationship with his only brother, was an easy mark.
After she had hit nine on the speed dial on her cell, she spoke in a low tone.
"Yes, he gave me a ring. No, I told you, he doesn't have a clue. Soon, Gabriel will go back to his provincial island. He'll do his best to drive a wedge between Michael and me, but it won't work. Don't worry, we're right on track. I have to go now, get downstairs and play the blushing bride to be. I love you, too,” she whispered and disconnected the call.
Nicole didn't know Gabriel stood outside the double doors to Michael's room and listened to every word. Mouth set in a grim line, hands fisted at his side, he spun away and stalked down the hall. Now he had her.
Gabriel called Sara early the next morning, but the call went straight to voicemail. Any other time he called, she answered right away. Not good. Shit, he screwed up and wanted to make it right.
First things first. With the family already down in the kitchen, he quickly showered and dressed to join them. He padded barefoot into the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee. Toni stood at the stove, pushed bacon around in a large skillet and smiled at him.
"Morning, love,” she greeted cheerfully, offered her cheek when he bent to kiss her.
"Morning, beautiful,” he murmured and squeezed her shoulder.
"Dad.” Nathaniel sat at the kitchen table, dressed in pajamas, the Wall Street Journal in his hands. Gabe noticed he looked better every day. The color returned to his face, and since Toni let him out of bed, he’d been much easier to be around.
"Mmm.” The paper rustled when Nathaniel turned the page.
"How're you feeling today?” he asked, topped off his dad's coffee now that his mother finally relented said he could have one cup a day. Gabe sat down next to him.
The paper sagged as he peered over it to nod at Gabriel. "Pretty good, son. For the first time since I left the hospital, I had a decent night's sleep.”
Gabe’s concerns eased now that his Dad felt better, and his Mom was back in her element. Toni plated scrambled eggs, thick whole wheat toast, and bacon for Gabriel. For her husband, she set down oatmeal and a bowl of fruit.
"Toni, what the hell is this?” he demanded.
"Breakfast.” Chin up, she planted her hands on her hips. "Note, I did give you coffee."
"Everyone else gets eggs and bacon?” he gestured to their plates. Both Nicole and Michael sat at the table, plates untouched. Nic focused on her phone and his brother sat, silent and brooding. They’d passed in the hall this morning, and Michael asked if Gabriel couldn’t at least act happy for him. He didn’t like Gabe’s answer.
Toni shrugged. "Only until Gabe goes back to the island. He doesn't like oatmeal."
“I don’t like it either.” He pushed the bowl away. “Bunch of bullshit if you ask me."
"Nathaniel Donovan, I swear—” she began, leaned over, palms planted on the table in front of her husband.
Gabriel interjected before his parents went at it. Not that what he had to say would improve the situation. "I want to talk about something with the family."
They all stopped what they were doing and looked at Gabriel. "Last night I overheard Nicole,” his chin lifted in her direction, "on the phone in your room, Michael. Apparently, she's thrilled to be engaged and on her way to becoming a Donovan."
Nicole flushed. Her long, manicured fingers gripped the phone tightly in her hand. Michael didn't spare her a glance but came to her defense. "Why shouldn't she be happy?"
"Indeed. One particular comment I found disturbing. She said, ‘He doesn’t have a clue.’ She didn't talk long, but the gist of it is she had to get back down here to 'play the blushing bride', her words, and would soon get what she wanted. Before the call ended, she said ‘I love you’ to whoever was on the phone."
Michael, Toni and Nathaniel all turned to stare at her. Nicole turned on the charm, beamed at his brother. "Of course, I'm happy, and I happened to be talking to my brother."
"Why do you have to play the blushing, bride? You're no innocent.” Nathaniel remarked harshly. “What did you mean ‘he doesn’t have a clue’?”
Outraged, Nic huffed out a breath. Nervously, she looked from Michael to his father. “I have a surprise planned for Michael, if you must know, and that is what I was speaking of. I’d rather not have it spoiled, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not, Nicole. Dad!” Michael placed his hand over hers and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I don’t appreciate your speaking to my fiancé this way. This is between me and Gabe. For the record, I don't see anything wrong with what Nicole did."
Gabriel sure as hell did. Did Michael not know her well enough to recognize the blotches of red creeping up her neck? A sure sign of guilt. He'd seen it countless times, always when she lied. They'd grown up together, for God's sake, and he knew her as well as he knew his brother.
"I'm telling you what I heard. You do whatever the hell you want with the information. Mom, Dad, I hope I haven't caused you stress."
His mom laid a hand on Nathaniel's shoulder, and he wrapped his fingers around hers. "No, son, we're fine,” his father said. Gabriel could see the workings of doubt in their eyes.
The seeds were planted. “I’m headed back to the island today. I need to get back to work and the woman I want to be with.” Since his stomach now sour, he pushed away from the table. After he scraped his plate and stacked it in the dishwasher, he headed upstairs to pack. He'd had enough family time and would be back on the island before dark.
Chapter Nineteen
The door to the plane slid open, and Gabriel stepped out into the sun. A steady breeze ruffled his dark hair. Sara's eyes drank in the sight of him as he leaned down to grab his suitcase. With an easy grin, he talked with the pilot and shook his hand. The days apart didn't matter now. Not when she could see him, touch him, be with him.
Finally, he turned toward the terminal and spotted her inside the glass doors. She
stepped toward him. The doors swished open, and his long stride quickly ate up the distance between them. Seconds later, Gabriel crushed her in a snug embrace.
He pulled her in tight, breathing deeply into her hair and neck. The strength of his body thrilled her, and her hands ran over his back, shoulders and chest. When he pulled back, he held her head in his large hands. Chest heaving, he took rough possession of her mouth in a deep kiss. Arms wrapped around his waist, she returned his kiss, and the long days and longer nights apart faded away like mist.
"You smell so good, feel so good,” he groaned and rocked her in his arms. "God, I missed you.” Eyes wet, she kissed his neck, buried her face in the warmth of his neck.
"You're crying?” he asked, pulled back to search her face.
"I'm fine,” she assured him, anything but fine.
"Sara, I'm sorry,” he slid his hands into her hair. "I know I hurt you. I let you down. So much happened, and I'll tell you about it all. There's a lot I need to say to you. At the time, it was all I could do to deal with the family. What a damn mess it all is, and when we spoke, I handled it badly. But for now, let's go home.”
She could only nod, his words exactly what she needed to hear. A flick of the key fob opened the hatch, and he tossed in his suitcase. Not in a mood to drive, she handed him the keys, and he held the passenger door open.
Inside the car, she turned to drink in the sight of him. The strain of family tension weighed heavily on Gabriel. Dark stubble shadowed his face, and his eyes lacked their usual sparkle.
"How's your father?”
Gabriel's mouth lifted in one corner. "Stubborn, cranky and driving my mother crazy. He left the hospital against medical advice, but he's okay. Mom won't let him neglect his rest, new diet or visits to the doctor.” He turned the ignition.
"Thank goodness. I couldn't stop thinking about all of you.”
Gabriel pulled her SUV out onto the main road. Foot hard on the pedal, he drove faster than he should on the way to the beach house. Gnarled pines and bushes flew by in a blur. "Honey, I'm sorry I didn't ask about Bree's visit. After we had hung up, I realized it. You didn't deserve that. I screwed up.” He glanced at her.
A heaviness weighed in on her. She turned to stare out the passenger window, both wanting to tell him and not wanting to relive it all again. "Our visit can be described as tense, unproductive and short in duration."
"I’m sorry to hear that.” Sara heard the care and concern in his voice.
"When she got here, attitude rolled off her in waves. Same since the divorce. With Gary and Charlotte, she was the Bree we all know and love. But not with me. Less than twenty-four hours later, she was gone."
His dark head whipped in her direction. "What the hell happened?"
"I changed the game rules, and she didn't like it.” The rest of the way to the cottage, she filled him in on the details. Sadness and hurt lingered in her heart. She could tell Gabriel knew her daughter's visit strongly impacted her but did he sense how she changed in his absence? While he helped his family in Connecticut, she realized how heavily she’d come to rely on him. An error on her part.
"Even if she left early, maybe that will help in the long run. You’re handling the situation in a different way, and it could be the thing she needs to bring her around. I'm proud of you.” His arm rested on the top of the steering wheel.
"Thank you, but I don't feel we made much progress."
"Sarah, honey, I’m sorry,” he told her, slowing the car to make a left turn.
Rather than look his way, she stared unseeing out at the moors as they made their way down the long stretch of Madaket Road. "We've both had a tough week. As for Bree, the ball's in her court, and David's for that matter. All I can do right now is see what they do with it."
She knew he apologized not only for the rough time with Bree, but the uncertainty between them since he left. Gabriel must sense the withdrawal in her, but for the life of her, she couldn't change it.
A cold rain swept in from the west, and the gray morning brought a whistling wind and heavy surf. Waking by degrees, Gabriel lay on his back and listened to the rain pelt the windows like needles.
Turning on his side, he faced Sara. The soft sheet pulled snugly across her bare chest, the smooth mounds of her breasts spilled over the top, rising and falling in sleep. Satin waves of her hair tumbled across the pillow. The oval of her face, the long lashes on her cheek, the rosy fullness of her mouth aroused him incredibly. He skimmed a hand over her soft shoulder, down along her lean ribs to rest on the soft flare of her hip.
Though he knew her to be strong, her beauty was delicate and exquisite. Gabe found pleasure and joy in every nuance he discovered in her. For one, her passionate nature matched his perfectly. He doubted she saw herself in such a light, given her reserve and history with her ex. But it was true nevertheless.
By her words, she possessed a fierce independence and a feral need for control. Not for power, but to maintain peace and a feeling of well-being. The nightmare of her childhood caused that, and he would never do anything to take it from her. For whatever reason, David didn’t see it, and Gabe felt humbled by the fact that she’d let him in, let him come to know her this well.
The reactive nature of her mother schooled her, tempered emotion. At times she stopped herself from speaking, no doubt unconsciously avoiding censure or criticism. When she thought he wasn’t looking, he saw raw emotion rise and flash across her features, reminding him of lightning heralding the wildness of a summer storm.
Uncertainty, self-doubt. Guilt, determination. Confidence, heartbreak. Humor, lust. Love. The mercurial layers and depths of her mesmerized him.
Gabriel loved her, without doubt, or reservation. But if he told her too soon, she would run scared.
They'd made love as soon as they hit the back door. Time apart, too many words unsaid, and family upheaval on both sides gave their lovemaking a desperate edge. After they had torn their clothes off, they dropped to the floor and came together in a wild clash of need. Pent-up frustration and sexual abstinence erupted, their joining intense. They both exploded in minutes.
Naturally, Gabriel’s stomach growled soon after, and Sara laughed. In the kitchen, they drank wine and made sandwiches, then held hands as they walked up to her bedroom.
They fell on the bed, shed what few pieces of clothing they'd put back on to make their snack. For the better part of the night, they explored the curves, muscles, planes and secret places they didn't get to savor in the initial rush to be together again.
Sara's fingers wound through the hair on his chest. She explored, kissed, nuzzled her way down to his navel. When he understood her intention, he slid his hands into her hair.
Fingers wrapped around his thick wrists, she pushed him aside, dragged the sheet down past his hips. Although she'd told him her experience had its limits, the clever way she tortured him showed no hint of inhibition. A combination of inexperience and a strong desire to please fired his blood to boiling.
Love and lust battled in him, gentle and vicious, sharp and sweet. He managed to stop her in time, and tossed her on the mattress, and he drove into her with a ferocity that stunned them both. Edged near a total loss of control, he feared he'd hurt her, but the way she met him stroke for stroke, he needn't have worried. Wild as his own, her passion matched his.
As he loved her, stared down into her passion hazed eyes, an unwelcome frisson of warning prickled along his spine. Something had altered, he could sense it. Even as they hurtled over the precipice together, he knew something wasn't quite right.
They made love again in the morning, but rather than snuggle up to him, Sara slipped from the bed. Arm under his head, he watched her slip on a light robe. Without a backward glance, she headed across the hall to the bathroom.
When the door opened, he called out, but the creak of the stairs told him she'd already headed down. Gabe quickly threw clothes on and made his way to the kitchen.
Coffee brewed in the machine, and
Sara set two mugs on the counter. After she had reached to bring the sugar bowl close, she pulled a teaspoon from the drawer. All common tasks, ones he'd seen her do dozens of times. But this time, not a single glance, remark, kiss or word. Shit.
After she had set the mugs on the table, she turned toward the coffee pot, but he caught her arm.
"Hey,” settling his hands on her hips. "Talk to me."
When she looked up, disappointment punched him square in the chest. There was no spark in her eyes. The line of her mouth turned down in the corners. So much happened, and they needed to reconnect. The physical came naturally. The emotional would be a long, slippery slope to climb.
"Sara,” he whispered, took her hands in his. The bright light he'd come to expect in her gaze blinked out in his absence. When she pulled to disentangle from him, temper rose hot and quick.
"Don't pull away from me.” A spike of fear lanced his heart and caused him to speak more sharply than he intended. Since he got off the plane yesterday, his apology failed to initiate resolution. Okay, he’d made a mistake. They would both make them.
"Everything’s fine.” Unconsciously, her brow furrowed.
"So you've said, multiple times. But it's not. Fine means nothing."
"Gabriel—"
His hand cupped her chin, brought her gaze up to meet his. "Bree's visit didn't have the results you wanted. You played it honest and straight with her. I think it'll make a difference."
Sara tugged, but he held on. "Back home, I had a lot to deal with. You know that. My father could have died, and it freaked me out. The crap between me, Michael and Nic is complicated."
"I know, and I understand.” This time, when she pulled away, he let her go. She wandered over to the big window in the living room. With her back to him, she stared out over the dunes to the water beyond. Her hands cupped her elbows close to her body. Moment by moment, Sara closed herself off from him, and he wanted to howl in pain.