by Adrian, Lara
It was her favorite hour, when the moon and stars still shone in a sky that hung suspended between fading indigo and the lavender shades of dawn.
Wrapping a thin shawl over the ankle-length nightgown she’d slipped into before leaving her guest room with Micah yet asleep in her bed, she padded barefoot through the mansion to the courtyard garden she loved.
A layer of fog swirled in the crisp morning air. Like puffs of feathers, the mist danced over the stone tiles of the patio as she stepped outside. The gardens beckoned, their beds of red roses, pink dahlias, and gold chrysanthemums glowing like jewels against the dew-covered greenery.
She walked along the stone path, smiling to herself as she thought about the hours she’d spent with Micah. She never dreamed she’d find this kind of happiness, this kind of fullness.
Absently, she brought her hand up to the side of her neck where he’d drunk from her. To think she had long considered the Breed to be a dangerous race, one she should fear as the offspring of the marauders who had decimated her people. She hadn’t held the Order much higher.
Now, she had given her heart to one of them. She had given Micah more than that. Her blood. Her bond. Her soul.
She felt giddy in love, and as she strolled deeper into the fragrant gardens, she could hardly curb the joy that blossomed inside her. A small giggle escaped her lips as she tilted her head up to watch the stars twinkle defiantly in their last hour before morning would come and chase them away.
She was so engrossed in her own contentment she didn’t realize she wasn’t alone in the garden.
Feeling a soft stir in the air, she broke out of her reverie and looked to the path ahead of her.
A handful of yards away, the white doe stood in the swirling fog.
Phaedra drew in her breath. “Are you real?”
The ethereal animal pivoted away and trotted deeper into the milky mist. She followed, hurrying to catch up as the fog thickened and the tall hedges turned one way, then another.
Breathless, Phaedra rounded a corner—and there she was.
No longer the white doe, but a woman illuminated in a soft glow.
She was tall and graceful, with luminous, gentle golden eyes ringed in thick lashes and a face so beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. The long dark hair Phaedra remembered was now snowy white shot with silver.
“Mother?”
She smiled. “Oh, Phaedra.”
A choked cry caught in Phaedra’s throat. “It really is you?”
When she took a step forward, her mother took a step back, giving a sorrowful shake of her head. The thin outline of light that surrounded her trembled with her movements. “You cannot touch me, dear heart. I can only maintain this form from a distance, and only for a little while.”
Phaedra swallowed past the knot of emotion in her throat. So many emotions. Shock, amazement. Regret that she couldn’t walk up to her mother and embrace her, if only for a moment.
“It was you. The white doe in my dreams all those nights—in Micah’s dreams too, leading both of us into those barren woods.” Phaedra stared at her, feeling a niggling confusion begin to seep into her heart. “It was you in the Dreamscape?”
Sindarah nodded soberly. “It was the only way. I had to reach you somehow. I had to take the chance.”
“What do you mean? Take what chance?”
It took her mother a moment to say the words. “Interfering with destiny.”
Now it was Phaedra who drew back. Her voice came out hoarse, hesitant. “What are you saying? What did you do?”
Yet even as she asked the questions, a cold understanding settled over her.
“Phaedra,” her mother said, her careful tone only making the dread worse. “The two crystals used to destroy our realm must be found . . . before their power can be unleashed again. Nothing is more important than that, do you understand?”
She shook her head. “What does that have to do with me?”
“Your father and I know where the crystals are located, but we cannot retrieve them. They’ve been kept somewhere no one from our realm can go. Only the Order can do that. Only their human who is no longer human.”
“You mean Jenna. Only she can access the Ancients’ ship because of her changed DNA.”
“Yes.” Sindarah tilted her head, remorse in her tender gaze. “What Jenna would not know is the location of the ship, nor had we any way to make it known to her. So, we had to wait. We had to hope that one day, the tide would turn and we could nudge fate in our direction.”
“What does that mean? Nudged fate, how?”
“The warrior, Micah. When I felt his presence near the barren forest several weeks ago, I knew he was the one who could help. I could feel his honor, his courage. I couldn’t reach out to him or guide him while he was awake . . . so I led him into the Dreamscape instead.”
Phaedra closed her eyes as the realization sank in. “And then you led me there, too. Why?”
“Because only you would feel the crystals’ nearness. You were the bridge to connect their location with the key required to retrieve them.”
“You used me,” Phaedra whispered. “You used both of us.”
Her mother made a broken sound. “Would that there had been another way, we would have chosen it. But all our hopes rested in you, my dearest heart.”
“So, the Dreamscape . . . it wasn’t real at all?”
Sindarah’s silence was answer enough.
Phaedra lowered her head into her hands and blew out a heartsick sigh. “We believed it. We believed all of it was true. The Dreamscape. The soul bond. Our connection to each other. None of it was real at all?”
Her mother’s expression moved from confused to contrite. “I never intended to deceive you. Please, believe that. I never imagined you would think it was possible for an Atlantean and one of the Breed to share a soul bond.”
“I didn’t at first,” Phaedra admitted. “We both were so sure it had to be a mistake . . . and now it is.”
A mistake discovered too late, after she allowed Micah to drink from her only hours ago.
He would despise her for this. How could she imagine he wouldn’t?
She despised herself for not realizing the chances of them sharing a bond forged by destiny was as impossible as she’d first thought it to be. It was a ruse. A lie.
Faith, she had cost him so much.
She studied her mother, thinking she should feel some amount of rage for the woman who had manipulated fate itself to bring Micah and her together for her own reasons. But she couldn’t despise her mother for that. Not for anything.
And especially not when the love she had for Micah felt nothing close to untrue, despite the reason they had found each other.
That didn’t mean his feelings wouldn’t change once he learned the reason for their meeting.
“Micah’s team was killed that night in the Deadlands, Mother. He was seriously wounded, too. Please, tell me you didn’t know you were bringing them into harm’s way.”
“No, love. I did not realize there would be danger . . . or death. I do know the warrior is alive because you were there with him.”
“But not his friends. I couldn’t save them all.” Phaedra thought about the road still ahead of her, the mission back to the Deadlands where the crystals—and the Ancients’ dangerous ship awaited. “Why not leave the crystals where they are? Why not let the Deadlands keep them along with whatever is left of the ones who wanted to destroy us? Mother, what if we fail?”
Sindarah smiled sadly. “You are more powerful than you know, my daughter. You always were. Your gift will guide you. It will protect you. But nothing will save you or this world if the crystals’ power is unleashed to destroy it.”
Dread carved a chasm in Phaedra’s breast. “Is that what’s going to happen?”
“I do not have that answer. If I could predict the future, your father and I would still be with you.”
Phaedra nodded, emotion choking her voice. “I miss you both so much
.”
“We will never stop loving you, my darling. You have always been our greatest pride. And I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.” The glow outlining her form began to tremble. “I cannot stay much longer. My energy won’t hold. I just wanted to see you one more time. I wanted you to know the truth.”
“I’m not going to see you ever again, am I?”
Sindarah slowly shook her head, her silver-and-white hair floating around her shoulders like the fog that was now beginning to envelop her. “This is the last time I’ll look upon you, but my love for you will endure forever.”
Phaedra stepped forward. “Mother, wait—”
Sindarah’s slender hand rose, her lips forming the word “Goodbye.”
Then she was gone.
Phaedra opened her eyes and found herself naked in her bed, looking up at Micah’s handsome face above her. Concern lined his mouth and put a crease in his brow.
He touched her cheek with infinite gentleness.
“Were you having a bad dream?”
She couldn’t find the words to explain. She wanted to dismiss the encounter with her mother as merely a dream, but she knew it was real.
Micah smoothed her hair away from her face and shifted beside her, gathering her close to the warmth of his strong body. With his arms wrapped around her, he pressed a tender kiss to her bare shoulder.
“Everything’s okay,” he murmured. “I’ve got you now, and I won’t let go.”
CHAPTER 24
The Deadlands expedition team departed the D.C. headquarters in the morning.
Micah still didn’t like the idea that Phaedra was coming along, but he knew there was no persuading her away from it. In fact, she’d seemed more closed-off than ever in the hours before they boarded the Order’s private jet with Jenna, Brock, Zael, and Brynne for the thirteen-hour flight to their first stop in Kazakhstan.
She had all but avoided him on the trip as well, except to discuss mission details with the group or pore over the sketches Jenna had made based on the Ancient’s vision of the ship’s interior and maps of where Jenna envisioned the vessel to be hiding.
Phaedra’s distance was driving him crazy, especially after the amazing night they’d shared. Her blood still thrummed inside him, warm and electric. Through his bond to her, he knew something was bothering her.
Worse than that. What he felt from her was overwhelming regret.
Because of him?
Fuck, he hoped not.
He had left important things unsaid between them last night, chief among them the fact that he was in love with her. She had to know that even without him saying the words, but she’d deserved to hear them and not be left to wonder what she meant to him.
If she was having second thoughts about letting him drink from her, he wasn’t sure he could blame her. Despite the fact that she had granted him the honor, it had been a selfish thing to do. Just as it had been selfish to presume she would abandon her life in Rome to be with him.
Now, there would be no breaking his psychic bond to her no matter where she chose to live. For the rest of his life, he would feel her strongest emotions. He would know her heart like it was his own. As for his future, she would be the only woman for him as long as either of them drew breath.
Then again, he didn’t need a blood bond to guarantee that. He was hers, and always would be.
That was pretty much what he’d told his father and Lucan Thorne this morning, when he’d put in his request for a new assignment with the Order.
His gaze clung to Phaedra as she stepped away from the worktable littered with papers, maps, and schematics. With the rest of the team taking a break from their strategy talks, Micah stood up and followed her into the private lounge area of the jet’s main cabin.
With little time left before they would have to prepare to touch down at the Kazakhstan airport, he couldn’t take the chasm of silence that seemed to be opening between Phaedra and him. There would be no time to talk once they transferred to the military helicopter chartered to drop the team in the Siberian taiga for the long trek into the Deadlands.
Hell, he was already half out of his mind just from not being able to touch her or kiss her all these many hours of the flight.
He strode up behind her as she was gathering her long brown hair into a thick braid for the mission. The bared curve of her neck and shoulder was too great a temptation for him to resist. When he stroked his fingers along her tender skin, she ducked out of his touch and whirled around to face him.
He frowned. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“You didn’t.” She swallowed, glancing away from him and letting her unfinished braid swing against her back. “I’m sorry I’m so jumpy.”
“Are you nervous about the mission?”
She shook her head, her brow pinched. And damn it, she still wouldn’t lift her eyes to his. He caught her chin on his fingertips and guided her gaze to him.
“You haven’t wanted to look at me or talk to me since we got out of your bed this morning, Phaedra. Tell me what I’ve done wrong.”
The strangled noise she made in the back of her throat put his heart in a vise. She took a few steps away, as if she couldn’t stand to be near him. “It’s nothing you’ve done, Micah, believe me.”
Ah, Christ. He really had fucked things up, then. Her face said it all. She stared at him in uncomfortable silence, her expression anguished and filled with remorse.
He lowered his voice and moved closer. “If I pushed you too far last night . . . if I asked things of you that you weren’t prepared to give me—”
“That’s not it. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want.”
But he was still losing her. He could feel it through his blood bond to her. “Was it something I said, then? I shouldn’t have told you I didn’t want you going back to Rome. I want you to live wherever you’re happiest. That’s why I’ve put in a request to be assigned to Lazaro Archer’s command center.”
“Micah, you shouldn’t—”
“I’m in love with you, Phaedra.” He blurted the words because he needed her to hear them, before she tried any harder to push him away. “I never believed in fate or destiny, but I do now. We belong together. I feel it in my soul and I think you do too . . .”
He had more to say—a lifetime of promises he wanted to make to her—but his words evaporated in his throat when he heard her quiet sob. When she swiped at the trail of wetness that rolled down her cheek, he couldn’t find his voice at all. Her sorrow was all he could taste.
“It wasn’t real, Micah.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Us. The Dreamscape. It wasn’t real.” She collected herself, but he could feel the struggle inside her. She was heartsick. She was miserable with guilt. “This morning, I saw the white doe. I dreamt I was in the garden outside the mansion. I saw the doe and I followed her. Except it wasn’t the doe. It was my mother.”
“Your mother?” Confusion rolled over him, even as the depth of Phaedra’s regret sank cold claws into his heart. “I thought Sindarah was dead.”
“She is. For all that it matters, she is. But she and my father somehow exist in the crystals too. Micah, they want the two missing crystals to be recovered. That’s why we met in the Dreamscape. They needed us to help make that happen.”
“What are you saying? They used us?”
She nodded, looking even more tormented. “There is no soul bond between us. It wasn’t destiny at all. We were never meant to be together.”
He scowled. “I don’t believe that.”
“It’s the truth,” she said softly. “We both sensed it had to be a mistake in the beginning. It turns out it was.”
It felt like a hundred years ago, not a handful of days, when he’d thought of Phaedra with mistrust and suspicion. Yes, he had dismissed the idea of a soul bond with her as some kind of cosmic joke. But now?
Now, she was everything to him.
Now, his life didn’t make any damn sense wi
thout her.
Phaedra stared at him for a long moment, her sorrow carving deeper—not only into her, but him as well.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m so, so sorry, Micah.”
She brushed past him and stepped into the jet’s small lavatory and locking the door.
He stood there for a moment, unsure if he had more fury for her parents, the crystals, or the fact that both had not only thrust Phaedra and him together but were now tearing them apart.
He didn’t have long to contemplate it.
The pilot came over the speakers to announce they were on their descent into Kazakhstan. Their ride into the Deadlands—and whatever future awaited Phaedra and him on the other side—was now only minutes away.
CHAPTER 25
It took more than a couple of hours before their feet touched ground in the Siberian interior. The private helicopter transport that dropped them in the taiga under the deep cloak of night had been instructed to wait for their return, no matter how long that might take.
Phaedra knew they had limited time to trek into the Deadlands and get out. If they didn’t run into complications or missteps, the threat of daybreak would eventually force them back to the shelter of the helicopter to attempt their search another time.
She did not want to fail.
Even though her heart yearned for Micah, she was duty-bound as an Atlantean—as her parents’ daughter—to find the crystals and ensure they could never be used against her people or anyone else on this fragile planet they all shared. Her parents had sacrificed everything to create the crystals; now, it was her turn.
She was determined, but a part of her knew only the hurt and shame she felt over Micah having been unwittingly dragged into her parents’ scheme as well.
His bewildered face haunted her, as she trudged through the scorched forest with him and the rest of their team. He’d been as stunned as she was to learn they had been manipulated. As she’d feared, he was angry too.
She had waited for him to tell her it didn’t change how he felt about her, but, of course, it had to matter. If he had loved her, even a little, it was based on a lie. A trick.