by P. S. Power
We all learned to filter out those things so that we didn’t have to know what was really going on when we couldn’t do anything about it. It was better to think of cancer as a disease than an attack that medicine couldn't do much about for instance. Not that I knew it for an attack either, but the idea held. Without our filters, we'd all just die of fear, wasting away.
Alex didn’t moan or scream, but the fear was there, thick and almost hanging in the air in front of me, the dark suddenly becoming cool to my right side. I couldn’t tell for certain, but I was almost positive that I heard a gasp.
“Help… please. They do… horrible things…” Even in my head the words were becoming weaker, I had to read them from the screen in my mind just to know what was being said.
The spot that had been cool suddenly went cold and I heard a single grunt, so strong that I would have sworn I heard it with my physical ears. Then there was a laugh. A familiar sound. The one from the night before. A second voice inserted itself into my head then, dark and rasping.
Something touched my face. I didn’t know what it was for certain, but it didn’t feel like a finger. It was larger and had a soft texture to it. Smooth. After a few seconds I realized what it had to be. I wanted to slap at it, to push it away, but I couldn’t move. I got the idea about what was rubbing on my face though.
I was frozen in place again, like I had been the night before in bed. My limbs tingled just a little, but when I tried to stand nothing happened. My arms and legs just refused to move. Fear ripped through me as the thing on my face moved toward my mouth, pushing at my lips.
“Open up now.” The growl was dark, deep and angry sounding, perhaps the worst thing I’d ever heard.
“Do it! Let me in, or I’ll rape your little Alex for the next two thousand years.” Then there was more laughter as the thing against my mouth tried to force my lips apart. I didn’t move, not being able to and my mouth stayed closed even as my lips slipped apart, the unfamiliar thing pushing against my teeth.
“Let me in now little horse, let me in. Just relax and take me inside. I have your love and have been doing the most evil of things. Worse things than you can imagine. You can’t stop me. Unless you let me use you instead, in trade. Think about it. How much do you love Alex really? Enough to sacrifice yourself and let me have what I want? I’ll take it anyway, in the end. Now. Let. Me. In.”
I couldn’t. It wasn’t just that the thing was obviously trying to force itself into my mouth like it was, that was disgusting, but not what stopped me. No it was the fact that if I gave in, it would have both of us. I needed to really help Alex and that meant finding help. I clamped my lips together tighter and focused on the words in my head. I tried to hear Dr. Milford’s voice saying the word hoping that would help me focus. I tried to remember being as deep as I'd ever been. The fear tried to cut through me, making me weak, but I had to hold out. It was too important for failure.
“Eclipse.” I didn’t know what that would accomplish really, but I felt myself sink into a focused state of fear. It was extreme, unending, but the thing in front of me moved back and the cold spot slowly started to dissipate. For a second I wondered if I’d beaten it, driven it off somehow. I didn't feel triumphant, just relieved that my plan had worked.
Until the blow caught me across the left side of my face, making an audible sound, a crack that filled the room as I saw stars. I sagged a bit to the right, catching myself by instinct with my hand on the soft cushions of the sofa. I couldn’t breathe. Or think. It hurt like a real blow would have. Worse, there was more chuckling. Like my pain was a joke to this demon. I knew then… that really was what it should be called. A dark and ancient being of immense power. Claiming it as something else wouldn’t change what it was or what it would do.
“Wrong choice little horse. I will ride you, if not tonight, then soon. In every way you can imagine I will have you. In fact I'll have you in ways you can't imagine at all too, over and over again. For now I’ll just have to content myself with your Alex. Again. You could have been a hero, you could have done the right and noble thing, now listen as the love of your life suffers, because you wouldn’t do your part. Very selfish of you. Own each scream my weak little human. It’s all your fault.”
Nothing happened for a long time. There was no sound, no cold waves or even fear in the darkness of the room. Other than my fear. My dread. It clutched at me with icy fingers, not letting me go as I thought about what might be happening. The not knowing was the worst, I thought. Anything could be happening and not knowing made it all so much worse.
When the screaming started from the air in front of me, along with the grunting and sounds of sex, I knew that I was wrong.
Not knowing wasn’t the worst thing at all.
Chapter eight
“It didn’t end for hours. Not until it turned light outside. I… it was awful. That’s not really right, it was worse than that. I would have done anything to make it stop by the end. What can I do?” I knew that I sounded weak and pleading, but I’d been up all night. Work had been nearly impossible, saved only be the fact that the day before I’d gotten so much done my boss didn’t notice anything as being too strange, just happy I had everything ready to go on the new campaign.
I sat in my normal chair, the back of it still to the door, which left me feeling horribly exposed again, even though I knew for a fact that having a wall behind me didn’t offer any real protection from the things I was dealing with. I could feel the dark all around me, constantly, hiding right there behind the light. As I thought about it, the sense became stronger. It wasn’t menacing, but it was always there, smothering me. It didn’t matter if my back was to the door or not, it was wrapped around me. Inside me. Constant and unending. No place was safe.
Dr. Milford nodded slowly, relaxed and focused on my face, looking down at me just slightly, leaving me feeling like a little child running to daddy for help. I was though, so I didn’t let that bother me too much. I was outside of what I knew by so far that I needed help if I wanted to save Alex from that… thing.
“Alright. We need to wait for the eclipse, this Saturday night.”
My eyes glazed over at the word, the effect instant now. I heard or read the word and my thoughts focused to a fine point, no matter what else was happening. It happened suddenly and I felt several things all at once. It left me afraid though now, not calm and relaxed, too much had happened for that. Even when I went deep enough that the book in my mind became my reality, I felt things around me, touching me, talking to me in mental whispers and touching me, little itches and bumps. Trying to get in. Trying to take over. The only happy part about it was that each time I heard or read the word, the story I was reading became vastly interesting. Just seeing a written word sent a small thrill through my mind for some reason. It had been built in to keep my attention I knew, so that I'd focus even harder on the book I was reading. I felt riveted on a level I hadn't realized I was capable of and it kept getting stronger.
“For now you have to hang on, no matter how hard this thing comes at you, and it will come at you, no matter how much you want to give into it to save Alex, you must not. The only thing that will save the two of you now is a greater power. You should expect no mercy or kindness from a being of that sort, a dark entity. We can call such things up, things not too evil, with a tempting enough offer, but it has to be done correctly, or the wrong thing will end up holding your body. You don’t want that. Trust me, if you let this being take you now, it won’t let you or Alex go… ever. No, For now you need to be strong, hide yourself away in your mind... make the book your whole reality, so that nothing can touch you at all. Do you understand what I mean?” He stared, nearly a glare it was so hard, but he didn’t stand to impress me with his size and power this time. He just seemed genuinely concerned. Worried for me and Alex.
“Yes. I need to… Go deeper and just read the story. Like it was actually just a book and not really happening to me at the same time? Like I’m just sitting i
n some other place? Forget that this is the real world for a while and pretend that I'm someone else just reading a really good story?”
“Exactly. You have been this entire time. Remember that now. You are reading this and observing closely. Even as the things around you try to get into your mind, you must keep reading. Let the words on the page fill you with fascination, a sense of excitement. You feel the fear inside, but love it. Relish it. Make a point of telling all your friends about it in that other space and live the full effect of it as if it were a game. A scary, wonderful thing that makes you feel alive and happy, even as the fear grips your soul and things try to steal your heart, body and mind. You can do that, can’t you? Just focus and live through the book?” He sighed gently, standing suddenly in front of me, the scent from his pipe strong, along with a musky hint of some kind of cologne.
“You must. There is no other choice now. You have to make that your reality until we can perform the needed act as the shadow crosses the moon. Otherwise your mind will break and you’ll give in to the thing that seeks to take you over by force. Alex and you both will suffer if you do that, possibly forever. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Very good. Eclipse. Go into the story now. See it in your hands and remember it as if you’ve lived an entire life in another world and are just reading now. Make it seem real to you, even as you follow all the directions I give you perfectly. Do it until it is time to accept what is coming. Read the story and simply see the words. Remember all that I have told you, even in that place, and follow my instructions completely, even without realizing that you are doing so. That is very important. You must allow yourself to perceive the ghosts around you, feel them and know they are with you. That will aid you later, so make certain you do it constantly.”
The world shifted then, my eyes seeing the page in front of me clearly, my mind building the picture of the world I knew, but overlaid on another place, one I remembered as home. My real world. Blinking I kept going, trying to pay attention to the story that I was also living, in a way.
The Doctor smiled.
“Excellent. For now, why don’t you go on your date with Toni and relax for the evening. Perhaps get some rest, if you can? Remember, no matter what happens, you will go to work each day and do a good job there. Even as you feel the world closing around you and things trying to get in. You are actually in another place now, just reading this. Until it becomes time to remember.”
I didn’t wait, just getting up then and going to the front room of the office, not even bothering to say goodbye. Toni was waiting, brown oversized purse in hand, Dr. Milford following close enough behind me that I could hear his footsteps. I made a point of smiling at the woman, who still had jet black hair and had dressed all in black, a soft sweater like thing that looked like she was ready for a night out on the town. The fact that Milford had kept referring to our get together as a date suddenly hit me. I hadn’t meant it like that. I was thinking friendly get together. I wasn’t ready for dating and besides, Toni wouldn’t have been on my list if I was. I didn’t think so at least. Not exactly my type for what should be obvious reasons to everyone.
She smiled at me, making direct eye contact the whole time.
“Would you like to get something for dinner? I know this great Thai place near my house. Then we can watch a movie or something. Some kind of chic-flick that has nothing to do with ghosts or the supernatural at all. I don’t like to take my work home with me too often.” She laughed, a playful sounding thing that seemed genuine. She also looked over my shoulder at Dr. Milford and waved a little.
“See you tomorrow Tom.” She moved over to me, taking my arm gently to lead me out.
“You two have fun. Remember what we spoke of.”
I couldn’t tell for certain which of us he was speaking too, but it didn’t matter, because Toni pulled me through the door without pausing for more conversation. I suddenly didn’t want to go. Not because I was too tired to drive, though I really felt that way, but because I didn’t want to risk getting the nice woman next to me involved in the complete mind melting terror that my life was now. I didn’t say anything though, still working to pretend reality was a book and that all the other stuff, the horror the night before with Alex and that… thing, that demon, hadn’t really happened, even though on a deep level I knew it really had. Like Dr. Milford had said, I needed to hang on until I could fix things for real, or else everything would be lost. No matter what happened to me, I needed to see it all through for Alex.
So I tried to make small talk.
“So Dr. Milford actually has a first name? Tom. Go figure. I thought it was Doctor all this time.” I smiled, trying to make it reach my eyes. It wasn’t dark out yet, not this time of year, so Toni could see me easily enough.
Smiling in return she nodded , the beaded necklace she wore around her pale neck making just the faintest sound. I hadn’t noticed before, but it had a large wooden cross on it at the bottom. Dark wood that nearly blended with the clothing she wore. She caught me looking and shrugged.
“I know, but it helps some of the clients feel at ease when they first come in. There's power in belief, even if the underlying principles are wrong. Christianity is a good enough system, as long as you live the tenants and don’t get bogged down in the politics that many churches engage in. Live like Christ, not like a Christian.” She waved to her little car, a small yellow thing that looked about forty years old, but was in good enough condition.
“Let’s take mine? You look about ready to fall down, to tell the truth. You’ll probably drift off too, if I keep giving you my speech on the value of religion. Let’s change the subject to something different… Do you like cake?” Her eyes sparkled a little as she opened her car door.
I walked to the other side and nodded.
“Not for breakfast so much, but sure, occasionally, as part of a well balanced meal.” I fought the smile from my face, hoping that it didn’t sound like I really spoke like a late night television public service announcement.
She laughed.
“So you’ll grab a fork and eat half of one in a single sitting? I do that on occasion. Not too often. Waistline and all that.” She looked down as I climbed into the passenger seat. Her middle looked lean and well put together to me. We both buckled in, silence hanging in the air.
“No. I try for no more than two pieces at a sitting and that only rarely. I did go through a whole half gallon of ice cream the other day though. Honestly I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought I was going to explode after I finished. Then I was craving wine. If it wasn’t impossible I would have thought I was pregnant and having cravings or something.”
This time Toni just nodded, pulling out of the parking lot and into the road, driving for several minutes before saying anything.
“Yeah. That can happen. It… Kind of means that something was taking over your body, just a bit. Influencing you for the experience. That sounds like something that had once been human, trying for a joy ride. They jump on board and get people to do things they wouldn’t normally, eat too much, get in fights, have sex with the wrong person, then when things start to hurt enough, or get boring, they jump off and look for the next thrill. Most people just blame it on a weak moment or lack of willpower, but most of the time it isn’t that. As you wake up you’ll notice a lot more of that kind of thing. It isn’t that it happens that much more, just that you can see it. The stronger entities coming around, that’s directly related to noticing them, I think. Ghosts and feeders are around all the time and pester everyone, but the big guys only come when the game is interesting enough for them.” There was another bout of silence as we pulled into the parking lot of a small restaurant with a green and gold sign proclaiming it as “Thad Pad Thai”. I’d never eaten that kind of food before, I realized. I tended to just go along with a fairly normal diet. Regular food.
As the car stopped in one of the spots marked with faded yellow lines that looked old and ill cared for
, she continued with her thought.
“Tom… Dr. Milford, is a real pro there. Helping people at that stage of things. I… Well, I’ll tell you latter, when we aren’t about to walk into a public place. You should try the noodles with peanut sauce, there distinctly yummy here.”
The rest of the conversation stayed well away from anything too interesting, mainly hinging on the fact that Toni had three cats, and then an explanation of some of their exploits. It sounded like they were a handful.
“Troy, my last boyfriend, he actually told me that it was him or the cats. Can you believe that? He wasn’t even allergic to them or anything, he just didn’t want the “hassle” of having them around. He didn’t even live with me. I told him that I picked the cats and made him hit the road. Jerk. What was I supposed to do, send the cats to the pound because he wanted more uninterrupted me time?” She had a frown on her face, a real one that was about the first thing like it I’d seen from her.
“Don’t get me wrong, my old girlfriend Karen didn’t like them either. I don’t know what it is, I keep picking all these people that hate cats. They’re good cats though. They don’t scratch or bite, use the litter box all the time and don’t pee all over everything. What else can you ask from a cat? They have brains the size of walnuts.” She punctuated the statement with a bite of broccoli that had sauce on it.
It was green and the right shape at least.
“You like cats, don’t you?”
“Um, sure. I don’t have any pets right now, but that’s mainly just because I’ve never been sure I had time for them. Not since my dog Mongo died about a year ago. It isn’t anything against animals though, I just figure that if you’re going to have a pet you need to be there for them. Kind of like kids, which I also don’t have.” I paused, wondering why I’d said that. It was the kind of thing you mentioned on a date, if you liked someone, not something you just casually mentioned to a regular friend. They’d pick that up eventually, but mentioning it would seem weird.