by Brent, Amy
“I’m about ready to throw you into a fucking wall and I haven’t even been here for five minutes. Must be a record.”
“Fine, fine. I’m done. I was just looking forward to seeing her. She brings life to the party in a way you never do.”
“Sorry I’m a disappointment,” I said flatly.
“No worries. Lawyers have a way of doing that,” he said, winking.
“Speaking of work, how goes the whole not-having-to-work thing?” I asked.
“That’s what happens when you’re a trust fund baby. I’m still not sure why you work. Your grandfather’s got a hefty one set aside for you.”
“Because I want to make my own way in the world and not ride along on his wallet. Just because my grandfather passed down his technological empire to my father doesn’t mean I want to ever become a tech guru. Nor does it mean I want to live my life spending their money.”
“Well, I’m going to do it while I can. I’m expected to take over my father’s massive hedge fund company once he retires, so I might as well have fun while I can,” he said.
“You don’t want to take over the hedge fund?”
“I don’t want to sit in a boring-ass office for the rest of my life. But that’s what my father feels a man does for his family. Sense of duty and all that shit.”
“Yeah. Sounds terrible to have all those responsibilities,” I said
“Hey, don’t chastise me. Just because you went off to school and became a lawyer with your own practice doesn’t mean we all have those same dreams. Speaking of that, how is the practice going?”
“Good. I’m busier than ever. Seems my expertise in taxes and business mergers is needed in Manhattan right now.”
“That sounds like an absolute bore, but I’m glad it’s going well for you.”
“It is, and thank you.”
“So, can I ask a question?”
“It’s never good when you preface it like that,” I said.
“If Camilla’s working, why aren’t we already heading over to drink at her bar? That’s what we usually do. Then I get to take in a nice show or two while we’re there. That’s always nice.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, but with Camilla’s promotion comes a new set of rules she has to abide by. Us coming by and drinking wasn’t an issue before, but now that she holds rank in the bar, it is.”
“So no more drinking there while she’s working?”
“For now at least. You have a tendency to make an ass of yourself, and it reflects badly on her.”
“I don’t make an ass out of myself,” Hunter said.
“You mooned a stripper the last time we were there.”
“I think that’s how I lost my belt. I don’t know. I woke up without my leather belt that next morning. It was my favorite belt, too”
“Either way, her boss came down on her for it. So while she’s working, no more going there to drink for us.”
“Well, that sucks.”
“The correct response would be apologizing to Camilla.”
“No, thanks. I’m sure everything is fine. I mean, she got the promotion, right? How pissed off can they be?” he asked.
“There are plenty of strip clubs in the area. If you want to drink and catch a show, we can go to any one of them.”
“And Camilla’s okay with that?”
I grinned. “You’d be shocked at the plethora of things that woman is okay with.”
“Oh, shit. Sounds like I need to pull some stories from you.”
“You know I never fuck and tell. Never been like that.”
“Because you’re not fun.”
“Because respectable men attract the freaks. That’s why your sex life sucks.”
“Ha, ha, ha. But seriously, what does she do?”
“Nope.”
“Come on, Logan. You can’t make a comment like that and then leave me hanging.”
“I can and I will,” I said, grinning.
“You’re such a buzzkill.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I need another beer.”
“Sounds like you need to get laid. How long has it been?”
“Too long,” Hunter groaned as another beer was set in front of him.
“Can we get a couple shots of whiskey as well?” I asked the waitress.
“I was wondering when the fun Logan would come out to play,” Hunter said.
“So, when was the last time you got laid?”
“Well, even though you won’t talk about your conquests, I guess I can regale you with mine.”
I grinned and shook my head as he settled back in his chair.
“It was a couple weeks ago. Some NYU sophomore who came into the bar I was at.”
“You always were a sucker for the college girls,” I said.
“Tell me about it. Tits are never perkier than between the ages of nineteen and twenty-one.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
We clinked together our shot glasses the waitress had snuck in before throwing them back and grabbing our beer chasers.
“Wow. That burned. Anyway, yeah, two weeks ago. It’s been two weeks since I got laid.”
“Then she must have sucked. I remember you went almost a month before you lost your nozzle after that one woman. What was her name?”
“Miss Community College?” he asked.
“That’s the one. Yep.”
“Oh, man. I’ll never find another lay like her. She was so sweet on the outside, but when she got me in bed, she didn’t want me doing a damn thing. On top the entire time. Sucked my cock with her juices all over it. Fucking hell, I would’ve let that chick stick a finger up my butt if she wanted. I was putty in that woman’s mouth, and she fucking knew how to use it.”
“Yeah, never had sex good enough to consider taking it up the butt. Sorry.”
“Not even with Camilla? Come on now, stop lying.”
“Nope, not even with her. She’s sexy as hell and likes some weird shit, but that doesn’t mean the sex is always good.”
“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?”
“Hardly. She’s a great woman. She has a carefree attitude that contrasts with mine and helps level me out.”
“Oh, shit. Is the great Logan Foster thinking about settling down?” he asked.
“I’m closer to thinking about it than you are. When are you going to get yourself a steady girlfriend and stop risking all these STDs with all these women you sleep with?”
“First of all, protection. Second of all, never. Being single is way too much fun. There are too many women falling asleep alone at night. And if I can remedy that situation for just one night for any woman who cries because I’m not with her, then I owe it to them. I owe it to their happiness.”
“Oh really. So that’s how you paint all this? Charity work?” I asked, chuckling.
“Sounds a hell of a lot better than man-whoring, don’t ya think?” he said, laughing.
“Hey, your words, not mine.”
“But seriously, you thinking you might settle down with Camilla? Because honestly, she doesn’t seem like the settling down type. In some ways it seems like you’re kinda dating me.”
“Don’t even say shit like that. I’ll slap you if you say shit like that.”
“I just don’t want to see my best friend getting hurt. If you’re getting serious, make sure she’s serious, too.”
“I’m not getting serious. I’m just saying that when I turned thirty a few months ago, I started thinking about things.”
“I take it they weren’t sexy things,” he said.
“No, they weren’t.”
“What were they then?”
“You know, just wondering where my life is going to go. I do know that I want to settle down eventually, maybe have a family.”
“Yikes. So you really don’t want to get laid ever again,” he said.
“Believe it or not, Hunter, having a family doesn’t mean no sex for the rest of someone’s life.”
�
�It might as well. A loose vagina, saggy tits, quickies that have to stay quiet because a baby’s sleeping? No thanks.”
“Really? A woman grows a child for you and all you’re going to think about is how bad she looks?”
“Hey, I never said I was father material. I’m never having kids, all right? Not my thing.”
“Then who are you going to pass off your father’s hedge fund company to? Are you going to run it until you die before willing it off to some cousin for them to sell off piece by piece?”
Hunter’s face fell, and I laughed.
“That’s fucked up,” he said.
“It’s the truth. If you don’t have a kid, you’ll work that business until you’re dead before someone sells off your hard work for a quick buck.”
“That’s really fucked up, Logan.”
I tossed my head back and laughed until tears came to my eyes.
“Anyway,” I said, “it doesn’t matter. What does matter is my stomach. I haven’t eaten dinner yet.”
“Long day at the office?”
“Hell yeah, it was.”
“You should’ve called Camilla to come suck your cock under your desk.”
I glared at Hunter, and he held up his hand.
“Bartender! We’d like a couple food menus, please,” he said.
“Saved by the plate,” I said.
“Let’s get you some food before you go rogue on us and beat someone up.”
“And by someone you mean you, right?”
“Of course I mean me. I love pissing you off, but sometimes it comes with consequences,” he said.
“Then stop toeing the line.”
“But that line is so fun.”
“I hate you.”
“Love you too, Logan.”
We put in our food orders before asking for more beers.
Ava
I was sitting at dinner with Camilla, her boyfriend, Logan, and some guy Logan had brought with him. It was a blind date for me. It was also all Camilla’s idea. It was a blind date to try to find me a guy to lose my virginity to. I didn’t even know why the hell I had agreed to the damn thing. Camilla had just kept bugging me about it for the past week, and the only way to get her off my back was to appease her.
The dinner was all right, but the guy wasn’t.
“So, what did you say you went to college for?” Adam asked.
“Education,” Logan said.
“Special Education. She works with developmentally delayed children in the Manhattan school system,” Camilla said. She was good at this art of conversation.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s right. Oh! I was developmentally delayed as a child.”
“You were?” I asked.
“Yeah. Didn’t talk until I was, like, four years old.”
“That’s pretty far along in your development. What happened?”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t talk. I guess my parents thought I was introverted or something until a doctor finally told them that wasn’t normal. But look at me now! I do public speaking events for a living, travel all over the world, and talk my way out of situations all the time.”
“You mean like…?”
“Speeding tickets. Being kicked out of restaurants. One time Logan and I went out to a strip club and I got all handsy with one of the women. I talked the bouncer out of kicking me out of the club,” he said.
“Adam, maybe you shouldn’t mention things like that on a first date,” Logan said.
“What? It’s entertaining. Girls love that story. Did you love that story?”
“Uh, yeah. It—it was a good story,” I said.
That was one of the few question he had asked me all night. All through dinner, he droned on and on about himself. I knew what college he had attended and what his last five speaking engagements had been about. I knew about his parents and what they did for a living, and I had listened as he’d rattled on about his three younger sisters. I knew his favorite color, his favorite place to eat, and his favorite vacation spot. I knew about that one time he went bungee jumping and almost shat himself.
He even busted out his cell phone and made me watch his entire twenty-minute TED Talk while talking over his TED Talk and mentioning things he wished he would have said in his fucking TED Talk. At that point, I shot a look over at Camilla, and she shrugged. I had known she wouldn't care. To her, Adam was hot and that was all that mattered.
He was very attractive. No doubt about that. Nice arms, bright brown eyes, a thick head of black hair, tanned skin. We would have looked like a good couple together, but I didn’t care. One thing I hated was men who talked incessantly about themselves. If Camilla thought I was sleeping with this guy tonight, she was sorely mistaken.
“So, what are we getting into after dinner?” Adam asked.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting a little tired. Logan?” Camilla asked.
“Wherever you want to go, sweetheart, I’ll follow,” he said.
I swooned at his comment. Camilla had no idea how good she had it with him.
“I think we’re going to skedaddle, honestly. But you two can go do something,” Camilla said.
Adam’s eyes turned to me before they dropped to my bosom. He openly stared at my chest as I looked back at Camilla. She nodded toward the front door before she lifted her hand to show me what was going on. She had her fingers intertwined with Logan’s, and I shook my head.
She was insane if she thought I was going home with this guy.
“Actually, I’m a little tired, too,” I said.
“Then I’ll escort you home,” Adam said quickly.
“Nope. That’s fine. I know where my apartment is.”
“Then I’ll help you out to your car.”
“I took a cab.”
“Then the cab,” he said.
“Adam, I’m fine. Thank you for a lovely evening, but I’m ready to go home and get some rest. I have a long day at work tomorrow,” I said.
“What do you do for work?” he asked.
My jaw fell open as Logan groaned and shook his head.
“I work with children,” I said flatly.
“That’s right, that’s right. Sorry. Well, call me then,” he said.
He wrote his number on a napkin and slid it over to me.
“Thanks,” I said.
“I expect to hear from you. Maybe we can exchange pictures or something.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said.
Camilla’s eyes lit up as I slid out of the booth. Adam tried to put his hand on the small of my back, but I kept scooting away. I didn’t want the man anywhere near me. He tried to kiss me on the cheek, but I backed away, then put my hands on his chest and slowly pushed him backward.
“I’m just not that kind of girl,” I said.
“Oh, not a ‘kiss on the first date’ kind of girl, huh? I can dig it. The second date then,” Adam said.
“Sure. The second date.”
Logan pulled Adam off to the side, saving me.
“Come on, Ava, what are you doing?”
I whipped my head over to Camilla. “What do you mean, what am I doing?” I asked.
“Adam’s practically falling all over himself to get you into bed.”
“Yeah, I noticed, and I’m not interested, Camilla. Get over it. I’m going home.”
“Why? He’s perfect. He’s hot. He’s tall. He’s sculpted like a god. And I know he’s packing.”
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“Trust me. Non-virgins know when a man is swinging a tree limb between his legs.”
“And again, that sounds fucking painful,” I whispered harshly.
“He’s a really good guy, and a good friend of Logan’s.”
“Doesn’t say much about Logan then.”
“What? What’s wrong?” she asked.
“The guy doesn’t give a damn about me, only about himself. I told him three times what I did for a living, and he still had to ask me once dinner was over.
”
“So what? Who cares about what you do for a living? Does that have any bearing on sex?”
“For me, yes. Do you not remember anything from our lunch a few days ago?”
“You mean you were serious about the romance thing? I thought you were just getting some emotions off your chest. You know what’ll help you with all that stress?”
“Damn it, Camilla, I’m going home.”
“Wait, wait, wait, Okay, I’m sorry. It’s just—he’s right there, Ava. A man who practically wants to devour you is right over there. Why won’t you take it?” she asked.
“Because I don’t want him. I don’t want a self-centered man. Logan could rattle off more about me than he could, and I’ve only been around Logan two or three times!”
“So give Adam two or three times. I’m sure it’ll be the same way.”
“Why are you so invested in this anyway? Why are you so invested in me losing my virginity?” I asked.
“Because I know you. I know you’re interested in sex, but I know your fear is holding you back. You’re wasting your twenties because of something you’re afraid of. That doesn’t sound like the Ava I know.”
“I’m not wasting anything. I have a career I enjoy, a best friend I love, and an apartment I adore and call home. I don’t need to lose my virginity to be fulfilled.”
“Sex is awesome, Ava. If you think your life is great now, just wait until you experience your first orgasm.”
“I orgasm all the time,” I said.
“Um, excuse me. Ladies?” Logan asked.
“Yes, handsome?” Camilla asked.
“Adam and I are getting a cab. Just wanted to let you two know we were heading out,” he said.
“Oh, honey, why don’t you come back with me?” Camilla asked.
“I’d love to, but I have an early morning.”
“Maybe I could come by for breakfast?” she asked.
Logan grinned, and a shiver slid down my spine. A shiver I shouldn’t have been experiencing over my best friend’s boyfriend.
“I’ll plan to see you there then,” he said.
He pulled her in for a kiss, and I turned away to give them some privacy. Logan. I needed a man like Logan. He cherished Camilla, made her feel like a princess. He remembered things about her and enjoyed being with her, and not just because of the sex she gave him. Maybe he had a twin brother somewhere we didn’t know about.