by Brent, Amy
Fucking for a better raise. I shook my head as I slid into my car.
It wasn’t as if Logan had sought me out. Nor had I sought him out. I had sought to lose my virginity under my rules and stipulations. And with the way Camilla had been acting about my sexuality, she should be happy I was no longer a virgin. Ecstatic even. Who cared who I lost it with? I had signed a contract, paid a fee, and done it on my own terms. Of all the people involved, Camilla should have understood the best. Right?
“Oh my gosh! It’s been so long!”
Camilla threw her arms around me the second I stepped out of the car.
“Hey there,” I said.
“Well, don’t sound so excited to see your best friend.”
“Still waking up. Haven’t had coffee yet.”
“And I’m about to fix that.”
Camilla held out a cup of my favorite coffee from my favorite joint, and my stomach rolled with even more guilt.
“Are you going to take it?” she asked.
“Sorry. Yeah,” I said.
“Rough night?”
“Didn’t sleep well.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
“Good, because I’ve got way too much to talk about. Come on. Let’s go get us some food.”
She linked her arm with mine and dragged me into the little restaurant. We slid ourselves into a booth, and I chugged my coffee, furiously trying to wake up. If anything, my inability to stay attentive would ruin all of this. I’d let something slip in my effortless exhaustion and it would be a knock-down, drag-out fight. I swallowed hard, then set the empty cup aside as Camilla giggled.
“Feeling better?”
“Much,” I said breathlessly.
“What’ll it be, ladies?” the waiter asked.
We placed our orders before Camilla turned her attention back to me.
“So, what’s all this information you have to fill me in on?” I asked.
“You want the punch line or the story?” she asked.
“Punch line and then work backward.”
“I broke up with Logan.”
I slid my glasses off my face and squinted at her.
“You did what?” I asked.
“I broke things off with Logan. And before you launch into some diatribe about how he was a good guy and how perfect we were together, hear me out.”
“Okay?”
“I broke things off because I caught feelings for my boss.”
“Feelings,” I said.
“Yes, feelings. You know, those things I should’ve felt for Logan but didn’t?”
What!?
“Okay. So, you’re seeing your boss?” I asked.
“I am. I tried to shrug him off at work as best as I could, but it wasn’t any use. He’s just like me, you know? We laugh about all the same things and have a lot of similar life experiences.”
Like lying to your best friend?
“He can even provide a better life for me in the future—should we want to stay together forever,” she said.
“Better than a lawyer with his own business?” I asked.
“Look, I know you liked Logan. I know you guys became friends. And there’s nothing stopping you from being friends with him, if you want. I mean, I can’t say I wouldn’t be upset or anything, but I get it. The two of you are drastically similar. It honestly felt at times like I was dating you with a dick, except we had better sex.”
No. Logan and I had better sex.
“So you’re with your boss now and you’re—happy?” I asked.
“I mean, it hurt, breaking up with Logan. He wasn’t happy about the fact that I was with my boss. But I tried to help him see it my way. This way he can go find someone like you. Someone who’s similar to him, I mean, not you specifically. Yikes. That would be weird. No thanks.”
My stomach dropped as our food was set in front of us.
“Thanks,” Camilla said, smiling.
“Can I get you two anything else?” the waiter asked.
A new reality.
“If you have coffee, I’d like a cup,” I said.
“Ever the caffeinated lion. Logan was like that, too, always guzzling down the stuff. Made his kisses disgusting,” Camilla said.
“I thought things were really good between you and Logan?”
“I mean, the sex was good. Not much else was good. He was so demanding and controlling all the time. ‘Get off your phone. Pay attention to me. I just want it to be us.’ Blah, blah, blah.”
“So you’re complaining because he wanted to spend time with you,” I said.
“Ava, I wasn’t happy. I don’t expect you to get it. Logan’s personality rubbed me the wrong way. It felt like he was trying to change me. The sex was explosive, sure, probably some of the best of my life. But there’s more to a relationship than sex. And to answer your earlier question, yes, my boss can provide me with a better life. He doesn’t just own the club I work at. He owns almost half of them on the downtown strip.”
And there it was, the gold-digging way of my best friend. I couldn't believe her. I couldn't believe she would lie to me and act like she had no feelings for Logan whatsoever. She was being cold-hearted, conniving, like her actions didn’t matter to anyone except her and whoever got tangled up in them. And even then, she didn’t care how her actions affected anyone else.
“So, you’re over Logan? Just like that?” I asked.
“Ava, I’ve been over him for a while. Hell, I’ve been seeing my boss for the past two months. I tried to get past all Logan’s clinginess and the incessant need to be the club while I was working and all that jazz, but that lifestyle isn’t for me. I mean, his cock? Oh, yeah. That thing is a behemoth. But I grew to hate his personality, and therefore him.”
“You cheated on him? Camilla, come on, you’re better than that.”
“Really, Ava? I tell you the man’s been controlling me and you’re upset that I cheated?”
So many emotions rolled through my body: disgust at the way she talked about intimate experiences with Logan, shock for the way she talked about his countenance, Anger at how apathetic she seemed, frustration due to her lies.
She picked up her phone and dipped her head toward it and smiled before her fingers started flying away. I shook my head and scoffed as I leaned back in my chair.
“Sorry. It’s my cuddlebear.”
“Your who?” I asked.
“Cuddlebear. It’s what I call my boss.”
“What does he call you?”
“Oh, so many things when we’re alone,” she said, grinning.
I nodded as her attention fell back to her phone. I lost her to the world of technology as I picked at my food. I felt more confused than ever. Was there any truth to Camilla’s statements? Was Logan a control freak? He didn’t strike me as one. And there wasn't anything wrong with a man wanting to spend time with a woman the way Logan seemed to with Camilla. But had he tried to change her at some point? Had he been going to her work to see what she was doing rather than simply to be with her like I had thought?
Was there an entirely different side to him I hadn’t seen yet?
“Are you going to eat?”
Camilla’s voice ripped me from my trance, and I saw her stuffing her face with salad.
“Yeah. Sorry. Zoned out for a second,” I said.
“You really didn’t sleep well, did you?”
“I really didn’t.”
“You want to talk about it?”
Images of the night before pummeled my brain. Logan’s face between my legs. His teeth latching onto my breasts. His hands venturing down my thighs. The look of pleasure on his face as I rode him to heights that drowned us both in darkness.
“No. I think I’m good,” I said.
“You sure?” Camilla asked.
“Positive.”
“Because I’m done talking, so we can talk about you if you want to.”
“Thanks, but I’m good. Just some dreams I can�
�t shake.”
“What dreams? Oh, are they sexy dreams? Domination dreams? Dreams with—?”
I held up my hand to silence her as an exhausted sigh left my lips. “Can we just eat?” I asked.
“Are you upset with me for breaking up with Logan?”
I was upset she was lying about it, because I knew she was.
“No,” I said. “If you weren’t happy, then you needed to end it. Yes, I liked Logan. I liked him for you. I thought he toned you down a bit. But if he’s not what you want, then there’s no point in staying with him,” I said.
“See, I didn’t want to be toned down. I felt like he was trying to do that with me, like he wanted me to put on an apron and some heels and cook him dinner in our white picket-fenced house on four acres of land while our kids played silently upstairs.”
“Well, that was a mouthful.”
“It was how I felt. And I had a lot of time to think about how he made me feel when we weren’t having sex. I don’t want to settle down. I want to travel the world. I don’t want kids. I don’t want a family. I want a man who can’t get enough of me, a man who wants to whisk me away to see the wonders of the world before proclaiming I’m his only wonder in bed. That’s what I want, not the toned-down, domesticated, nine-to-five bullshit Logan wanted for me.”
“Then you made the right decision and I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks for listening to me. I know I can always count on you to have my back,” she said.
Two things entered my mind at that moment: one, Camilla was a lying, selfish little brat; and two, the life she had spouted to me that she hated sounded like music to my ears.
The way she painted Logan made him seem like the man of my dreams, and he was forever off-limits.
Logan
I shuffled papers around and started digging through law books, trying to prepare for a massive case that had dropped into my lap. I didn’t get a lot of criminal cases with the work I did, but fraud of any sort in business wasn’t something I took lightly, especially after building a business of my own. I wheeled around my room and plucked books off my shelves. I had my assistant tracking down all sorts of leads and getting her hands on evidence I’d need in order to mount my case.
A familiar voice sounded at my door.
“Hello there, Logan.”
I whipped my head up as Adam came into the room.
“Adam? What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Well, since you let me go, I had to take my expertise somewhere else. Apparently there’s a good job market for defending those wrongfully accused of fraud.”
He dropped a stack of folders onto my desk, and I stared at them in disbelief. But I didn’t show it on my face. Nope. It read as stoic as a stone as Adam sat down and grinned at me.
“Congratulations on the new job,” I said flatly.
“Now, I know I personally can’t take the case because it’s a conflict of interest. You know, with you being my former employer. But I can be the go-to guy. That’s the supposed evidence your assistant has been looking for, but I think you’ll find some interesting transactions in there from the bank account of your client.”
I grabbed the stack of folders and slid them toward me.
“Thank you for dropping these off. You can go,” I said.
“One more thing. Have you heard from Ava?”
I bristled at her name, and my eyes locked hard on Adam’s.
“I have not,” I said curtly.
“It’s just that I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. That sweet little laugh of hers and the way she was so attentive while I was talking. No woman has ever listened that closely to me before. I wonder if she’d listen in other avenues of her life.”
I drew in a deep breath, trying my best to keep my cool.
“Well, the last I heard she was seeing someone,” I said.
“I thought you said you hadn’t heard from her.”
“Good thing I fired you then. I said I heard something. I didn’t say I heard it from her.”
“I’m glad you fired me. I’m getting paid twice as much to do the same job.”
“Hopefully you do it with greater detail then,” I said.
Adam snickered before he rose from his chair and buttoned his suit jacket closed. He slipped his hand into his pocket before clearing his throat. Then his eyes came back to mine. They were malicious, devilish, angry to their core. How I hadn’t seen it before blew my mind. I would do everything in my power to keep that asshole away from Ava. Or any man for that matter.
“Have a nice day,” Adam said.
I didn’t bid him the same farewell as he made his way out of my office.
I growled as I sat back in my chair. I took my glasses off and tossed them onto the table, rubbing my sore eyes. I’d been staring at books and paperwork and bullshit for hours, and my head was pounding. I knew it had been wrong of me to tell Adam that, even with how much of a douchebag he was. But the idea of Ava being with another man—any man—made me bristle. It made me protective, jealous.
It was weird and I knew I had no right to feel that way. But it didn’t stop me from feeling every ounce of jealousy pour through my veins.
I decided I would take a long lunch. I needed to sort through my emotions and figure things out. I slid the folders into a drawer and locked them, then clocked out and made my way to the café down the street. I could taste their sandwiches, and the caffeinated pick-me-up would be a welcomed distraction from a case that seemingly kept mounting.
“Logan?”
That sweet voice. That tender voice. That shocked voice. I looked around before my eyes locked on Ava. Within mere seconds, she was out of her seat and moving toward me.
“Ava. You’re early for lunch.”
“I could say the same about you.”
“Long day?”
“Early morning,” she said.
“Ah, well, mine’s been a long day.”
“Everything all right?”
“Just a mounting case I never thought I’d take on within the course of my career. You?”
“Craving danishes after not having breakfast.”
“Two cheese danishes with that coffee of yours,” I said.
“What can I say? I’m a creature of habit.”
Her eyes hooked on mine, and my stomach turned over. My eyes fell to her lips before casing the rest of her body, and the veins in my groin came to life. She smiled up at me, her pupils dilating. I saw her beautiful nipples press against the thin material of her shirt. Every ounce of me that had felt dead and angry just moments ago came alive, and all I had to do was gaze into her eyes.
Ava’s beautiful blue eyes.
“Join me for lunch?” I asked.
“I’d love to,” she said.
I could’ve sworn she said those words a little quicker than she had meant to. I ordered my coffee and grabbed my sandwich, tipping the barista before we headed to a table in the corner. It was quickly becoming our thing—the café down the road with a table in the corner and the same food each time.
I liked having a ‘thing’ with her.
“So, what brought you into work to early this morning?” I asked.
The toe of her foot brushed against me as she crossed her leg, and a blush instantly tinted her cheeks. Which was wonderful, because it meant the heat creeping up the back of my neck wasn’t alone.
“Well, Camilla finally called me Sunday morning,” she said.
“How did that go?” I asked.
“We went out to lunch and she told me she was the one who broke up with you.”
“She what now?”
“Yeah. She said she was the one who broke up with you after breaking it to you that she was seeing her boss.”
“That’s a complete lie.”
“I know, I know. You don’t have to defend yourself,” she said, giggling.
“Are you sure? Because I could make a very good argument.”
“I’m sure you could, Mr. Bigshot Law
yer. But it’s not necessary. I know when Camilla’s lying. She’s my best friend. She has her tells, and I figured them out a long time ago. Our lunch was riddled with them.”
“So, you believe me?”
“I do. Though she did admit she had been seeing her boss for almost two months now. I wasn’t, um, sure if you knew that or anything.”
Guilt flooded Ava’s face, and I reached over and took her hand. It was a gesture I should have stopped, because the second my hand came down on hers, I wanted to pull her in for a kiss. This wasn’t her fight to fight. She had nothing to feel guilty over. And the fact that she did showed me the kind-hearted woman she really was. Her eyes fell to our connection before I slipped my hand away, trying to make it seem like a friendly gesture.
But her red-stained cheeks told me neither of us took it as such.
“No. I didn’t know how long it had been going on, but thank you for telling me. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to say, given the position you’re in,” I said.
“I just don’t want you to be hurt. That’s all.”
“Trust me, I’m not. Not anymore anyway.”
Her beautiful eyes connected with mine as her raven hair fell into her face. Her darkened skin ignited a want in me, a need to trace my fingertips along it. She was a beauty, an exotic, innocent woman with a sponge for a brain. She was intelligent, self-sufficient, kind, warm. I took a sip of my coffee and tried to rein in my thoughts.
My raging, filthy thoughts.
“Enough about Camilla. She’s dominated enough of this conversation. Tell me how you’re feeling.”
“How I’m feeling?” Ava asked.
“Yes. I want to know how you’ve been feeling after this past weekend. You scurried out of the room pretty quickly. Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry for that. It’s just—”
I reached over and put my hand back on top of hers to get her attention.
“Stop apologizing,” I said as her eyes found mine.
She nodded, and I pulled my hand back, but not before her pinky finger reached up and wrapped around mine.