by Brent, Amy
“I think it makes him a good man,” I said.
“You know, I had you pegged for many kinks, but I didn’t think you’d get off on being controlled.”
“He isn’t controlling. He has expectations of me considering the relationship we’re developing, but they’re not unlike expectations any man would have of me in any other kind of relationship.”
“And you’d know that how?”
I gritted my teeth as Camilla stepped up and stood beside me.
“I don’t even care that you’re with Logan, Ava. I don’t care because I never loved him. I could have never loved a man like that. What I care about is that you didn’t tell me. You didn’t have the decency to come to me and tell me that you were slobbering all over my pathetic sloppy seconds, and you actually thought you could hide it from me.”
“And if you would have actually come and sat down in that restaurant to speak with me, you’d know exactly why I didn’t have the chance to call you before something happened between us,” I said.
“Don’t act like that restaurant thing pissed you off, Ava. You had the money to cover it.”
“It’s not about the money, Camilla! You stood me up! I sat there for almost two hours waiting for your pathetic ass to show up!”
“And it served you right for hiding something like this from me. I thought we were friends, Ava.”
“Says the woman who lied to me about the breakup because she’d been fucking around with her damn boss for months. It took you over a week to call me up and talk with me about it, so you don’t get to throw the friend card in this fight.”
“The friend card?” Camilla scoffed. “Ava, we were never friends.”
I cocked my head and slowly turned my body to face her.
“What?” I asked.
“Seriously? A prude like you and a woman like me? I can’t talk with you about anything. Why in the world would I have discussed hooking up with my boss when I knew you’d make me feel like a slut for it? I can’t help that my boss makes me happy, that he makes me feel beautiful. Logan was nothing but a long-term hookup. And now you know why firsthand. He’s good at what he does, and I didn’t want to let that go, but I never loved him.”
“You love your boss though, right?” I asked.
Camilla flexed her jaw, and I shook my head.
“You have some seriously messed-up priorities. You know that?” I asked.
“I really don’t. I didn’t tell you about my boss because I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it. You’d turn your nose up at me like you’re doing right now, and the only thing you would have ever seen was Camilla the cheater.”
“Because you were cheating!”
“And you have no right to judge me for that! Don’t you see? You’re so quick to poke at the stick in my eye that you can’t even see the log in yours. So, no, I didn’t tell you about what was going on in my life. In fact, the last couple years you’ve gotten really bad at turning your nose up at every aspect of my life.”
“I have not.”
“Yes, you have. You always said you supported me, but when I told you I got the job the club, what did you say?” she asked.
My lips opened and closed, but silence took hold of my throat.
“Yeah. Exactly. You gave me a ten-minute lecture on how I was above all that or some such bullshit, even though I wanted that job and have always loved bartending. You knew I adored that type of atmosphere, but none of that mattered. Since it didn’t fit your mold of what I should have been, you didn’t approve.”
“Camilla, it wasn’t like that,” I said.
“Every man I’ve ever screwed around with or dated, you’ve had an opinion on—a bad one, except Logan. So yes, I kept him around because he was hot and good in bed and all sorts of shit. But I also kept him around so you’d keep your damn mouth shut.”
My jaw hit the floor as Camilla took a step toward me.
“For almost a year?” I asked breathlessly.
“You know, hanging around you used to make me feel good about myself, your money, your social class, your likes, your dislikes. I felt elevated around you, and that used to make me feel good. Until you tried to change me, Ava.”
“My money?” I asked.
“Yeah. It was easy to get you to pay for everything. I saved so much money by hanging out with you. You looked down your nose at me, so the least I figured I could do was have a bit of fun while I could.”
It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.
“You don’t mean that,” I whispered.
“You’re so naive, Ava. Why do you think I wanted you to lose your virginity in the first place? You’ve had your head buried in the sand for so long. And what you’re beginning to realize now is that while you judged me so harshly, the truth is, you and I are more alike than you ever thought.”
I shook my head silently as tears welled in my eyes.
“Think about it. You keep going back to Logan because he’s good in bed, don’t you?”
“No. No, I don’t.”
“But at first you did. You couldn't stop thinking about that dick.”
“Stop it, Camilla.”
“It’s okay. He’s got a thick one. A juicy one. A nice one.”
“Shut up,” I said curtly.
“At the very least, you and Logan are alike. I mean, he tried to change me by controlling me. You’ve always tried to change me by judging me. It only seems fitting that I used you two for the same thing before dropping both of you and moving on to someone who genuinely cares for me.”
I leaned against the bathroom counter to keep myself upright.
“Have a nice night, hypocrite,” she hissed.
Then she exited the bathroom, leaving me there with my mind swirling and my throat silent.
Now I didn’t know what to think. Was she right? Was I really like her? I couldn't be. I couldn’t be as cruel as her. I wasn’t using Logan for sex. Though, in the beginning, I had been. Was I still using him for sex?
I slowly turned around and faced the bathroom door as it swung open. A bunch of women piled in, giggling and reeking of booze. I slowly found my strength and maneuvered out of the crowd, making my way mindlessly back toward the bar.
How the hell could I have not known how cruel Camilla really was?
“You really should take some time.” Hunter’s voice hit my ears, and I stopped in my tracks.
“Look, I know you want what’s best for me, but I like it this way,” Logan said.
I stepped into the shadows, listening to Logan and Hunter talk.
“When it all boils down, she’s Camilla’s best friend. It’s not a good look. It’s tacky,” Hunter said.
“I like her, Hunter. I wanted the two of you to get together tonight so you could see how amazing she really is.”
“And that’s fine. Ava’s nice. I’m not disputing that. But she’s a rebound. You know it, I know it, and, eventually, she’s going to find out. But it’ll be too late for a girl like her.”
“A girl like her? What the hell does that mean?” Logan asked.
“You know—innocent, wide-eyed, naive. She’ll think you actually like her, and when you realize you really don’t, it’s going to hurt her. I’m just trying to save you both.”
Naive.
That must have been the descriptive word of the night.
“You’re wrong about this,” Logan said.
“Dude, just ditch her and come be single with me for a little while. I know you don’t want to admit it, but Ava and Camilla are friends for a reason. She might be more like your ex than you think.”
Holy shit. Even Hunter thought I was like Camilla.
“She’s nothing like Camilla. Nothing at all,” Logan said.
“Look, I’ve got two hot ladies in the corner who are ready for some serious action. And you don’t even have to spend money on them like you did on Camilla or Ava.”
“It’s not about the money! I don’t care about spending money on a woman I
care about, Hunter. I have that money for a reason. It’s just that—”
I stepped out of the shadows and wiped at my eyes. I didn’t want to stay there a second longer. I walked up to the two of them, and Logan whipped around in his stool to face me. But I wasn't going to stick around long enough to hear whatever it is he had to say to me. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe we shouldn’t have been together after all.
“I’m not feeling well,” I said abruptly.
“Is something wrong? What happened?” Logan asked.
“It’s just that time of the month and I didn’t come prepared. I’m feeling a little dizzy and very tired and bloated all of a sudden.”
“Well, let’s go get you something then. I think there’s a twenty-four—”
“It’s fine. You stay here with Hunter. Okay?” I asked.
“No, Ava. I’m coming with you so I know you’re okay,” Logan said.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I just need to go. I’m tired and I really don’t feel well.”
“Ava, wait!”
Slipping from Logan’s grasp before he could wrap his hand around my wrist, I made my way through the crowd. I heard him calling out my name while Hunter tried to talk him down. Maybe this was how it needed to end, with Logan’s best friend talking some sense into him after my best friend had attempted to talk some sense into me.
I didn’t know what to think any longer. I didn’t know how to feel. All I knew was that I needed out of that bar. I needed to get away from Logan, away from Hunter, and away from Camilla. I needed to go home. I needed to get in my car, drive off, and find some way to clear my head.
And I needed to do it alone.
Logan
After chasing Ava out the front door only to see her squeal past the club, I ripped my phone out and tried to call her. I called her all through the night. I sent her text messages that next morning. I called her every hour on the hour, hoping I could annoy her into picking up the phone.
Fuck. How the hell had things gone so fucking sideways? I had no idea what to think. Things had been so good. Hunter had been nice, like I’d told him to be. We had danced. We’d had drinks. I’d gotten to hold her close and kiss those plump lips of hers.
Then she went to the bathroom and shit switched on a dime.
“This is Ava Leary, project manager at—”
I hung up the phone and threw it across the room, roaring in frustration. My hands shook. My chest heaved. I didn’t understand why the fuck she wouldn't pick up her damn phone! Every time we were together, it felt amazing, intoxicating. I was addicted to the whole of her, and I wanted to know what the hell had happened last night. I loved spending time with her. I loved waking up to her. And now she was out of reach. Again.
I wasn’t letting this happen again. If things were going to work between us, Ava and I had to learn how to communicate. I didn’t buy that she hadn’t been feeling well last night, but if she had been telling the truth, then some soup might help her. I went into my kitchen and started throwing ingredients into a small pot, making her some homemade chicken noodle soup. That always helped me when I wasn’t feeling well, especially if I was nauseous. I cooked it up and poured it into a small container. Then I slipped on some clothes and made my way to the car.
If Ava wouldn't pick up her phone, then maybe she would answer her door.
I pulled up to her apartment complex and started inside. I’d never been over to her place, but I knew where she lived. Camilla had talked about it all the time. I’d even picked her up there a time or two after she had spent the weekend with Ava. I strode over to the steps and walked myself all the way up to the third floor, then knocked on Ava’s front door.
When she answered the door, she looked just fine.
“Logan,” she said.
“I brought you some soup.”
I held out the container to her, which she limply took.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I came to bring you soup since you said you weren’t feeling well last night.”
“Yeah. My period.”
My eyes quickly dropped down her body before climbing back up to her stare.
“How do you know where I live?” she asked.
“I picked Camilla up here a few times after she’d spent the night.”
“Oh.”
“Are you really on your period, Ava?”
“Why would you question something like that?” she asked.
I drew in a deep breath and tried to keep my cool.
“You know you can tell me the truth, right?” I asked.
“I’m not feeling well, Logan. I’m telling you the truth.”
“Funny. You didn’t say anything about your period in that statement.”
“It’s early. I haven’t had coffee. I’m tired. I just want to go back to bed.”
“Then tell me what really happened last night.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why did you rush out like that after lying to me?” I asked.
“I didn’t lie to you. I said I wasn’t feeling well.”
“You said you started your time of the month, that you felt dizzy and bloated and tired.”
Her eyes fell to her feet, and I shook my head.
“You know, communication is paramount,” I said.
“What?” Ava asked.
“Communication. For any relationship—whether it be a friendship or something else—communication is the number two pillar in that dynamic.”
“What’s number one?”
I looked at her and found nothing but guilt in her soft blue eyes. “Trust,” I said.
She dropped her eyes again, but not before I saw tears welling behind them.
“I hope one day you can learn to simply tell me the truth, Ava, and know you can come to me with how you’re feeling, or whenever something has happened. Hell, even if you just want to leave and be alone, just tell me that.”
“Logan, I just needed—”
“It doesn’t matter now,” I said curtly.
Her head shot up, pain running behind her eyes.
“You need to figure out what you want. I know what I want, and one of the things I want is to not be yanked around by those who don’t deem me worthy of the truth.”
“I swear, Logan, that isn’t what happened last night.”
“I’m past last night, Ava. But you did set a precedent, a dangerous one.”
“Logan, please,” she whispered.
“I hope you feel better. If you need anything, let me know.”
“Logan, wait!”
I turned and walked away from her, knowing that if I stayed any longer, she might attempt to spin her web further. And I wasn’t sure it was something I could handle. Not from her. Not after what I went through with Camilla.
I wanted to be right in this situation. I didn’t want to be single. I wanted to be with her. But if Hunter was right about dropping them both because they were best friends for a reason—if there was any part of Ava that reflected the traits of Camilla—I didn’t know if I’d be able to recuperate from that. Not after becoming so attached to her. Not after enjoying every facet of her the way I had.
I heard her calling out for me, but I couldn't bring myself to go back. She had the soup. I had told her what was on my mind. Now it was time for me to go before I fell ack into another trap. I slipped into my car and drove off, trying desperately not to look back. I knew if I saw Ava standing there, I’d turn right back around and go back to her, fall into her arms, take her against my body and fuck her until she turned into the woman I wanted.
The woman I needed.
And I had to stop doing that with women. I had to stop seeing them as who I thought they could be and start accepting them for who they truly were. I had made that mistake with Camilla, thinking she could eventually become the person I knew she had deep down within her. What I failed to see was that if she didn’t want to be that person, it didn’t matter if she had the potential. T
hat person would never become anything if she didn’t want that facet of her life to take hold.
I couldn't make the same mistake with Ava. I refused to.
Ava
“So, where are we now with the investigation? What happens from here?” my boss asked.
“Well, we reached out to them with the evidence we compiled, and it made them nervous,” Ralph said.
“I’ve spoken with them once since then, and they expressed to me an interest in meeting and settling out of court,” Logan said.
“When will that take place?” I asked.
Our eyes locked, and I could’ve sworn I saw a silent plea cross Logan’s face.
“It’s a good question. But if they want to settle out of court, doesn’t that mean they’re still sticking by the charges?” my boss asked.
“Getting them to sit down gives us a chance to present everything we have. They don’t know we have the smoking gun, but they do know we have a working theory behind why they decided to sue you for fraud,” Ralph said.
“Smoking gun? You found proof of your theory?” I asked.
“We did,” Logan said.
He started sliding paperwork over, and even across the table, his body heat reached out to me. I reached for the paperwork and our fingertips brushed, causing electricity to spark throughout my body. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. My heart seized in my chest. I cleared my throat as I pulled the papers toward my boss and myself, and he immediately picked them up and began frantically rifling through them.
“Mr. Craven,” I said.
“Yes?”
“Let me see those papers. You’re shaking a little bit. Just take some deep breaths while I take a look, and I’ll tell you what I find.”
My boss was so used to being in control that this entire case had him freaking out. He wasn’t sleeping. He was hardly eating. I felt like a parent trying to reign in a stressed-out college kid. I took the stack of papers from him as he sat back. Then he heaved a heavy sigh as he put his head in his hands.
I scanned the papers and was shocked at what I found.
“You have their financials,” I said.
“I do,” Logan said.
My eyes flickered up to him before they moved over to Ralph.