by Brent, Amy
Ava
I kept replaying Logan’s voice message in my head. An apology. He felt as if he owed me an apology? He didn’t owe me anything. This was a mess I’d created on my own. Had I not let Camilla get to me about my virginity and allow myself to feel so insecure about it, none of this would have ever happened. I’d still be a virgin. I wouldn’t have had sex with Logan. None of this would have gotten started and Camilla wouldn’t have found me in his condo with his shirt on.
Maybe I’d still have my best friend.
I sat at my desk, trying to focus on my tasks for the day. The settlement meeting was coming up, and my boss had ordered me to clear my schedule for all day Friday, which meant I had a great deal of catching up to do when it came to the work I had to get done. Clearing a day as a project manager meant cutting corners on designs in the hopes that other companies wouldn't consider it a sloppy job but simply something that needed to be expanded upon. It was a fine dance I did with grace and poise, but with the distraction of Logan’s voice running through my mind, everything was harder. Much harder.
My eyes kept fluttering up to the clock. Ten fifteen. Ten forty-three. Eleven thirteen. The minutes dragged on, and part of me hoped that when I looked back up at the clock, it would tell me I had worked through lunch. But every time I looked up, the only thing it reminded me of was the fact that I had to take lunch.
And I really wanted to take it with Logan.
“Logan Foster.”
“Hey, Logan.”
“Ava?”
I grinned at the sound of his voice as I sat back in my seat.
“Good morning. How are you?” he asked.
“Don’t sound so shocked to hear from me,” I said, snickering.
“Honestly, I didn’t think I would.”
My grin slowly slid from my face as I drew in a deep breath.
“Listen, I’m sorry about dodging your calls and texts. It’s just—”
“You owe me no explanation, Ava.”
“I really do, Logan.”
“Then give it to me over lunch today.”
“That’s in, like, fifteen minutes,” I said.
“Lucky it only takes me three to get down to our café.”
I smiled at the phrase. Our café. “I’ll see you there,” I said.
“Two cheese danishes and a mocha coffee?” he asked.
“Logan, you don’t have to buy me—”
“I’ll see you down there soon. I can’t wait to talk to you.”
As quickly as it had taken me to call him, he hung up.
After finishing up a few last-minute details, I packed up some folders and dropped them off with my boss. I clocked out for lunch and made my way downstairs, then took my time crossing the road. I had to gather my thoughts and prepare myself for this conversation. Logan may have felt like he owed me an apology, but what he really needed was an explanation. I’d been going back and forth for days on whether or not to tell him about my encounter with Camilla at the club, and I had come to the conclusion that he needed to know.
He needed to know why we wouldn’t work.
Logan’s hug was warm, long, and tender. It took all I had not to melt into his embrace and cave to his every whim. His strong arms blanketed my back and his chin settled right on top of my head. Everything about him made me feel beautiful and safe. He pulled my chair out for me, and I sat down in front of the two things I enjoyed the most: hot cheese danishes and a mocha.
Well, three things since Logan was in front of me as well.
“How are you, Ava?” he asked as he leaned forward. He rested his forearms on the table he had snagged for us in the back and stared directly into my eyes.
“I’m not going to lie. I’ve been better,” I said.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“I owe it to you to talk about it, yes.”
“You owe me nothing, Ava. I’m worried about you.” He reached out to take my hand, and I almost let him. Almost.
I slipped my hands into my lap and looked away from his stare. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt, the pain. I didn’t want to do this to him. He was such a good guy. He was kind, romantic, and sweet—so sweet. He was strong, and sexy beyond all belief. I felt as if I could trust Logan. as if I could rely on him. But between Camilla’s comparisons and Hunter’s words of advice, I couldn’t help but feel as if maybe they held some sort of truth. Sure, one set of words might have been spoken in anger and the other in disbelief, but that didn’t make them any less accurate.
“Ava, I owe you an apology for everything that’s happened,” Logan said.
“You really don’t,” I said.
“But I do. I’m partially responsible for the fallout between you and Camilla.”
“No. Camilla is responsible for that.”
“But I didn’t help matters.”
“You really didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Ava, when we agreed to keep this a business thing, I should have been man enough to stick to my word. I pride myself on being able to keep my word, to do what I say I’m going to do and never sway from that. But I swayed with you, big time. And while I don’t regret it, that action is what swept you up into the current of all this.”
“I saw Camilla in the bathroom at the club,” I said.
I winced at how quickly it came out of my mouth.
“And I saw her a couple days ago when she picked up the last of her things,” he said.
“Wait. I thought you guys already did the trade-off?” I asked.
“We did, but I found a few more things I hadn’t stumbled across yet. I threw them in a bag and texted her to pick it up if she wanted it all. She showed up with her boyfriend.”
“Classy,” I said flatly.
“Look, I know how mean and nasty Camilla can get, so I can only imagine what she said to you in the bathroom at the club. If it was anything like what she told me, then I can’t blame you for wanting to leave that night.”
“What did she say?”
“A lot of things. That she was sorry our relationship ended, though she said it with that smug little grin she always gets when driving home a point.”
“Oh, wonderful.”
“I told her I knew she’d said something to you, and that it had hurt you.”
“What did she say to that?” I asked.
“That all that mattered was that you saw she was right and did something about it.”
I snickered and shook my head as I leaned back in my seat.
“Ava, I told her what happened in my relationship was none of her business, that she needed to drop it and move on, because the fact that she kept sticking her nose in it meant she might regret cheating on me with her new beau.”
“Holy crap. You said that to her?” I asked, giggling.
“Apparently her boss didn’t know he was the other man.”
“Wait. What now?”
“Yeah. When I mentioned that she cheated on me with him, he got all curious and flabbergasted. I should have felt bad, and part of me does. But—a little part of me doesn’t.”
“She is such a piece of work,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“After that fun little interlude was over, though, I told Camilla I was over her. I told her that you had shown me the kind of caliber of woman that was out there for me, and that what she and I had shared was fun but not much else.”
“You did not say that to her.”
“I did. I swear on the Bible. It was what she needed to hear, and I was tired of fielding her shit. I told her that the only thing she was doing to you was hurting you, and that you were too good of a person for her to be treating like that. Then I told her to have a good life.”
My mouth fell open in shock as my heart fluttered in my chest. He had defended me. He had taken the time to defend me to Camilla.
“Well, Camilla was in the club that night. You know, with her boyfriend I’m assuming. Though we really can’t be sure anymore,” I said.
“I owe you an explanation.”
“You owe me nothing.”
“The reason I told you I wasn’t feeling well was because she and I had a fight in the bathroom. A terrible fight. I really didn’t feel well afterward because, even though she was upset and spiteful, she did make some legitimate points.”
“Like what?” he asked.
“I told Camilla she had become cold-hearted, and she said that at least she hadn’t been cold-hearted enough to screw around with my ex back in college after we’d broken up.”
“Your ex was an ass, Ava.”
I sighed. “I mean, that’s not the point.”
“I’m sorry. Keep going. I won’t interrupt again.”
“She said that I still wasn’t respecting girl code or whatever, even though she openly admitted to not caring about you. I said you were a good man, and she launched into this diatribe about how she didn’t care that we were together because she didn’t love you. She said what she cared about was the fact that I didn’t tell her, that I didn’t have the decency to—” I closed my eyes and placed my hands between my thighs to keep them from shaking.
“You can tell me, Ava. It won’t bother me. I’m over her. It’s done. All of it’s over,” Logan said.
“She said I should have had the decency to tell her that I was slobbering all over her pathetic, sloppy seconds,” I whispered.
I opened my eyes and found Logan’s comforting stare on me, and he held out his hand. I wanted to take it. I wanted to be comforted by it. But I knew if I took it, I wouldn’t have the strength to do what I was about to do, and it had to be done.
“I told her that things didn’t start out between us the way she thought they did, and that if she would have come and sat with me at the restaurant, she would have known the whole story. Then I called her out for hiding this whole thing with you and her boss from me, telling her she didn’t get to throw the friend card when she was the one hiding things first. Then she informed me that we had never really been friends.”
“What?” he asked.
“She called me a prude and accused me of always judging her for the life she led. She said I would have turned my nose up at her for sleeping with her boss behind your back, which I would have.”
“Anyone would have.”
“Not the point. The point is that I would have. She said the only thing I would have seen was her cheating and not the happiness her boss brought into her life. I said it was because she was cheating, and she yelled that I had no right to judge her on that.”
“Ava, you can’t listen to stuff like that.”
“But I can. She had points, Logan. She wasn’t just rattling off stupid stuff to make me upset. She brought up another good point. When she told me she got the job at the strip club a few years back, I ended up lecturing her on how she was better than that type of job, that she could bartend anywhere. It didn’t have to be at a strip club. It never once occurred to me that she wanted to bartend at a strip club, Logan.”
“Ava, that’s miniscule stuff.”
“But it credits her reason for not telling me about all this stuff that was going on. She said—” Tears crested my eyes, and I hung my head. “She said you were the only man she’d ever dated that I didn’t have a negative opinion about, so she partially kept you around to keep me off her back.”
The table fell silent, and I swore I felt my heart breaking.
“She said a lot of other things, but that’s what sticks in my head the most. The argument wrapped up after she called me a few more things that don’t matter in the long run. Then I left to go find you, and I got to the bar just in time to hear Hunter giving you a pep talk.”
“Oh, shit,” he said.
“Yeah. That’s one way to put it.”
“But if you heard us, you heard me tell him that he was full of shit.”
“I did.”
“And you still left?”
“Logan, maybe they have a point—Hunter and Camilla.”
“Maybe my player best friend and my bitter ex have a point?” he asked.
“Yeah. I mean, that wasn’t the only point Camilla made that stuck with me. It was just the one that hurt the most.”
“What else did she say?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said.
“It does to me.”
“Logan, please don’t—”
“What else did she say to you, Ava?”
“She said that she and I were alike, because in the beginning, I kept going back to you because of how good you were in bed.”
I finally opened my eyes and found Logan’s stare, but all I saw was hurt and apprehension.
“She said what?” he asked.
“She said she and I weren’t so different because, in the end, there was at least one small window of time when I went back to you because of what we shared physically and not what we shared, you know, at any other point in time.”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say, Logan, because she had a point. In the very beginning, I think both of us gravitated toward one another simply because the sex was good.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” he asked.
“When I’m accusing Camilla of using you for sex and nothing else? Yes, Logan, it is.”
Logan fell back in his chair as he rubbed his hands down his thighs.
“I don’t look down on you for something like that, if you’re wondering,” he said.
“My point with all this is that Camilla made some apt observations.”
“She didn’t do anything of the sort, Ava.”
“Yes, she did, and that's what sucks about admitting it. We want to think she’s saying all this in some jealousy-fueled rage, but just because it’s angry doesn’t mean it’s not true. And I can only wonder if what Hunter said to you has any merit.”
“Which part?” he asked curtly.
“The part about me being nothing but a rebound and you needing to be single and focus on yourself.”
“Well, that’s easy to answer. No. Hell no!”
“Logan, don’t be so quick to write off your friend. He knows you really well, just like Camilla knows me well, even though I don’t like it.”
“Camilla will say anything to get under your skin, and Hunter’s the same way. He just wants a wingman back for Friday and Saturday nights. He doesn’t care about how I feel in this situation.”
“Well, I do, and I think he’s right,” I said.
Logan’s jaw dropped in shock as I stood up.
“Ava, where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m sorry, Logan, but Camilla and Hunter are right. I’m a hypocrite and a rebound, and you need to focus on you.”
“No, you’re not. You’re not going anywhere right now. Ava!”
I turned to leave, and his hand come down on my arm. So commanding, so warm, so controlling, but in all the ways I craved from a man like him.
I’d miss him so much.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Then I wrenched my hand from his grasp and left the café, tears welling up in my eyes.
Logan
“Earth to Logan. You there, man?”
“Huh? Yeah. Sorry. What’s up?” I asked.
“I slid into the damn booth ten minutes ago. Where the hell have you been?” Hunter asked.
“Just in my head. Got a lot on my mind.”
“I figured there was a reason you called me to go out last minute. What’s up? And please don’t tell me it’s more woman troubles, because you already know my stance on that.”
“Then you’ll enjoy what I have to say,” I said.
“A whiskey sour and a beer with a shot of tequila. Can I get you guys anything else?” the waitress asked.
“That depends on what my friend here’s about to say. I’ll let you know in a second, sweetheart,” Hunter said.
“Then I’ll be around!”
Hunter turned his eyes back to me with a grin on his face. He knew what I was about to tell him, and he was about to rejoice and get the party started. But I sure as hell wasn’t feeling up for a party. I just wanted to go home and lie down.
“Spill,” he said.
“I had lunch with Ava today, and she essentially told me that she agrees with you,” I said.
“You’ll have to be a little more specific than that. I dole out a lot of wisdom for free when it comes to you.”
“She overheard you talking with me at the bar that night, and she agrees that she’s nothing but a rebound and that I need to be single.”
“Hey, sweetheart! A celebratory round of tequila shots over here, please!” Hunter exclaimed.
I gritted my teeth and shook my head as he laughed and fell back in his seat.
“Come on, Logan, what did you really expect? You have to take some time to embrace being single. Sure, it’s nice to get over one woman by getting under another, but to fall for her? All you were doing was setting yourself up for trouble, man.”
“Ava isn’t trouble.”
“Well, she sure as hell is smart. I, for one, am glad she’s got some sense. You need to take some time to be single after the bullshit blow Camilla dealt you. Now, I’ve had my eye on a couple girls in the corner since I slid in and watched you daydream your life away. I’m going to go get them, order us all some drinks, and we’re going to show you how great being single really is.”
I shook my head as Hunter slid out of the booth. I didn’t want to be single. But if Ava really felt that strongly about it, then maybe it was something I needed to do. I trusted her. I trusted her opinion on things. And I could tell how much telling me all those things had hurt her. She wouldn't say something she didn’t mean, especially if it hurt her like that.
Right?
“All right, ladies, this is my friend Logan Foster. He’s a big-time lawyer in Manhattan. Owns his own business and everything,” Hunter said.
“Hi there. I’m Betty.”
“And I’m Terice.”
“It’s nice to meet you both,” I said.
I shook their hands before Terice slid into the booth alongside me, and it already felt wrong. Hunter had his arm wrapped around the waist of the girl with the crimson lips while Terice smiled up at me as if she was waiting for me to pull her into my lap and fuck her right there on the seat. I didn’t like anything about this, the atmosphere, the willingness of the women to do nothing but have drinks and get fucked. Hunter and Betty didn’t have a five-minute conversation before they were exploring each other with their tongues.