Finally Mikhail nodded. “Простите, Sasha.” He turned to Alex. “Sorry to bother you.”
He vanished silently, fleeing to the showers.
Alex turned to Sasha, almost reluctantly. “What the hell was that?” Did he not want Mikhail to talk to me because I’m Para?
Sasha didn’t look upset anymore, though. Instead, he looked apologetic. “He was bothering you, think he’s helping. I tell him to go away. Him being a nosy old grandmother isn’t going to make you talk to me.”
That… was not what Alex had been expecting.
“I’m talking to you now,” he said evenly.
Sasha smiled sadly. “Yes. And I’m thankful for this much. And maybe soon we can talk for real. I hope I can—” He cut himself off as a group of guys emerged from the showers. “But not here, and not now.”
Then Sasha was following Mikhail to the showers, leaving Alex confused and alone in his stall.
What was all that?
“—Fanning just manages to get a glove out in time and deflects the puck up and out of play. The Seattle goaltender is slow to get up, but he doesn’t look injured. He’s been having a rough night, slow to start, but it looks like he has some energy in him now. Face-off will be to Fanning’s left, and San Jose wins in. Looks like a set play, quick pass to the center and a shot on goal, but this time Fanning’s able to catch it and hold on. Score at the halfway point in the second is 4-1 San Jose, and the Cascades will have some work to do if they’re going to dig themselves out of this hole.”
—KTCP Radio 102.7, home of your Seattle Cascades
IT WAS so obvious that something was wrong with Alex, but no one other than Sasha seemed to notice. Their goalie acted like he was sick, fatigue evident in every line of his body. Sure, he was still playing just fine in both games and practices, but he was also barely able to keep his eyes open when he wasn’t on the ice.
So Sasha kept watching and hoped that whatever was wrong could be fixed soon, because he had much bigger problems to focus on right now.
They had another home game on the next night, then only four more games left to play—two away, in Colorado and Vegas, followed by two at home to close out the season. Alex was looking worse with every passing day, and Sasha had no idea what was wrong. Maybe he was stressed, wondering when his secret was going to be exposed to the world? But that didn’t explain the way Carts always seemed to be hovering, worry clear on his face when he looked at his friend.
But Alex still wouldn’t talk to Sasha, let alone look at him. And there were more pressing things to worry about… like what to do about Ed.
Ed’s trial was only six days away, scheduled for the Monday after they got back from Vegas. So not only did he have to deal with trying to figure out how he was going to handle that, but the upcoming road trip only added another layer of pressure to the entire situation.
Помяни черта, Sasha thought as Ed appeared at his side, pulling him from his thoughts.
“Eddie.” Sasha pasted on a smile, hoping it looked genuine. “Was just thinking about you. Feeling better?”
He didn’t look any better, but he didn’t look worse either. Sasha wondered what the trainers thought, if they’d even noticed the way Ed’s appearance and mannerisms had changed.
“Doing good.” Ed looked happy enough at least, sweaty like he’d recently finished a workout. His sling was gone, though there was a light brace visible on his arm and wrist. “I think I’ll be back in the net to take some practice shots any day now; the coaches and trainers sound really optimistic.”
This time Sasha knew his smile must look strained. “That’s fantastic.”
Thankfully, Ed didn’t seem to notice Sasha’s lack of enthusiasm. “You all keep going the way you are, and I’ll be back for playoffs. You were right, Sasha, about the Para freak. We can use him to get the team to the post-season and then get rid of him when he’s not needed anymore.”
Ed wasn’t even bothering to keep his voice down. Sasha glanced around furtively, hoping no one was close enough to overhear. “For sure, Eddie. But we gotta keep it a secret until then. Still five more games to play, and every point is gonna count.”
“Sure, sure.” Ed nodded easily enough. “And hey, trial is less than a week out. Soon all of this will be behind us, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You’ll be there, right?” Ed asked. “You know I need your support, brother.”
The guilt that Sasha had felt over the last month was still there, but now it was mixed with new emotions: worry over Ed’s obvious problems with alcohol, and anger because of what his best friend was planning to do to the man Sasha loved.
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Sasha responded.
“Good man.”
Ed kept talking, rambling easily about his training and the trial. But Sasha’s thoughts had drifted back to Alex… and to how he was going to fix this problem with Ed.
What if I bribe Eddie? It was a distasteful solution, but it was also the only path forward he could see right now. If I tell him that I’ll testify on his behalf, but only if he doesn’t reveal that Alex is a vampire. It would mean lying under oath and almost certainly losing Eddie’s friendship in the process, but… it would save Alex.
But Ed would never let him stay on this team. I’m certain of that much. He’d only agree to it as long as Alex requested a trade. So I could save Alex, but I’d lose him for sure.
Just thinking about it was painful.
But I’ll do it. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it for Alex.
Ed laughed at something he said, jolting Sasha back to the conversation. “Anyway, it’ll be fine because I’ll have you there with me, right?”
“Yeah, absolutely, Eddie.”
“Great.” Ed smiled. “We can go out for post-trial drinks when it’s all done to celebrate!”
Sasha took a deep breath and held it, then let it out slowly. Ed obviously didn’t see the irony in his statement, and Sasha wasn’t about to point it out.
A flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye caught Sasha’s attention. When he glanced over, Shawn was hovering… watching him.
Shawn hadn’t said a word outside of practice to him in over a week. There was no reason for that to have changed either—unless whatever was wrong with Alex had just gotten worse. Sasha’s heart began to race.
“Hey, Ed, sorry, but I gotta run. Looks like something’s come up.”
Ed glanced over and nodded when he spotted Shawn. “Defensemen bonding. I understand. I’ll see you Monday at the trial… or maybe sooner.”
“For sure. Later.”
He waved goodbye to Ed, then hurried as quickly as he could to join Shawn.
Shawn didn’t speak, though. Instead, he motioned for Sasha to follow him, glancing around as though someone might spot them. They wove through the back hallways of the arena, places Sasha rarely had any need to go, and finally stopped at a small conference room that was well off the beaten track.
“In here.”
Sasha glanced inside. The level of dust said that even custodial staff often forgot that this room existed. It was the perfect place to talk about something in the arena if you didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing you… which made it fairly obvious what this was about.
“How’s Alex?”
The surprise that blossomed across Shawn’s face told Sasha he hadn’t expected that question.
“He’s fine.”
Sasha grimaced. “He’s not. Something’s wrong with him. I know you’ve noticed. He’s sick, but I cannot understand how.”
“No one else seems to have noticed anything.”
Shawn wasn’t wrong. If the rest of the team had picked up that Alex was exhausted, they probably would have assumed it was due to the higher-impact, faster-paced game that he was playing at the NHL level. But so far, none of their teammates had brought it up. Though Misha had definitely figured out that it was something more serious than just fatigue, if his quiet, s
olemn glances at Alex in the locker room were anything to go by.
But that was beside the point. “I noticed,” Sasha said. “I watch him, and I can see that he’s not okay.”
The way Shawn simply pressed his lips together was confirmation enough for Sasha.
“What were you talking to Ed about just now?”
The sudden change in topic made Sasha straighten abruptly. “Why?”
Shawn glared. “Because if you’re going to run back to Despres and report this entire conversation to him as soon as we’re done, I need to know.”
Oh.
“Carts, listen to me,” Sasha said insistently. “I need to tell you what happened in Atlanta.”
“I heard,” Shawn said with a glare.
“No, you didn’t.” Talking in English was difficult enough when he was emotional, but he needed to make sure there were no further misunderstandings. “But I need to explain now.”
Confusion and curiosity warred with distrust on Shawn’s face before he nodded shortly. “All right, let’s hear it.”
For the second time in a week, Sasha found himself explaining what had happened between himself and Ed, including Ed’s paranoia and irrational dislike of Alex and the way Sasha had carefully maneuvered Ed to buy them some time.
“I convinced him not to say anything for now. But when I ask Alex, trying to be sure what Ed says is truth, he reacted badly—he’s so terrified, he cannot listen to me. And now he still won’t listen, so I can’t explain. But I only want to help him. I swear this.”
By the end of it, Shawn’s eyes were wide. “You need to tell him this.”
“He won’t even look at me, Carts.” Pain laced Sasha’s words. “I give him as much space as I can. There are a few options—distasteful, but I’ll do them, if it keeps Alex safe. You have to believe this.”
Shawn exhaled. “Do you love him?”
Sasha didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Okay.” Shawn dusted his hands off. “Okay.”
“I’m going to help him,” Sasha said, making sure every word was as clear as possible. “Even if he hates me, I will do everything I can. But I need to understand why he’s sick.”
For a long moment, Sasha thought maybe Carts wouldn’t tell him. His partner looked weary and troubled. But finally he sighed and nodded once. “He can’t feed anymore. I don’t know the details, he won’t tell me, but he feeds from Heather every other day it seems like, and it never helps.”
That was bad… very, very bad. Sasha had spent hours online, poring over every website about vampires that he could find in English or Russian. Some of the things he’d read fit Alex perfectly and explained so many of his quirks and behavior over the last three months, while others clearly didn’t apply. But all of the sites had agreed on one thing: vampires needed blood, and if they couldn’t get it, then….
“Is he dying?” Three words, but Sasha felt physical pain simply thinking about them, let alone speaking them.
“Not yet.”
It wasn’t a no, but it was still enough that Sasha could breathe.
“How serious is it?”
Shawn bent over, resting his hands on his thighs and staring at the ground as he spoke. “He won’t tell me, but it’s obvious that it’s pretty damn serious. He came home from seeing Heather on Sunday and looked almost worse than when he’d left. When I asked him if he needed another source, if I could help, he said no one could help him… except you.”
“He said this?”
“His exact words were ‘the only person who can help me is the only person I can’t accept help from.’” Shawn scuffed his foot on the ground, then straightened back up. “Who else could it be?”
The words sliced Sasha open wide. He thinks I can help him, but he would let himself grow sick and possibly die rather than come to me for help.
“That’s why I approached you today,” Shawn continued. “I was going to beg you or threaten you, I don’t actually know.”
“No threats or begging needed.” Sasha cracked a weak smile. “Help me talk to Alex. Let me explain, so I can help him with this too.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to him.”
“Not tonight.” When Shawn blinked up at him, Sasha shook his head and elaborated. “He’s starting tomorrow against Washington. Alex won’t want to listen until after the game because he’ll be getting himself into the right headspace to play. Especially if he is this sick, trying to make him listen might make things worse.”
Shawn’s smile was a little lopsided, but his eyes were approving. “It’s good that you care about him. And that you know how important hockey is to him.”
Sasha waited.
“All right. Tomorrow after the game, if he’s feeling up to it. Otherwise Thursday for sure. He’s hanging in there for now, but I don’t want to wait any longer than that. I’ll do whatever I can to convince him to talk to you. But he’s scared, Sasha. It’s not going to be easy to make him hear reason.”
“Yes, I know how stubborn he is.” Sasha returned the smile. “Thank you, Carts.”
Shawn held out his fist, and Sasha bumped it, feeling better for the first time in weeks.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Seattle Cascades (@CascadesNHL)
The guys from Washington (city) manage an overtime win against the guys from Washington (state), as the Cascades fall to D.C. 5-4 in OT.
Mrs. Merkley… a girl can dream! (@MerkleyFan96)
is Fanning playing through an injury or something? :( Well, at least we got one point, better than none. #playoffsbaby #goscades
IT WAS a relatively short plane ride into Colorado, and Shawn spent every minute of it twitching like he wanted to say something but was holding himself back.
Alex wasn’t an idiot. He knew Shawn had spoken to Sasha; even if he couldn’t smell the hint of earthiness on Shawn’s clothes when they got back to the condo after the loss to Washington, it would have been obvious just from the weighted looks they exchanged every time they were in the same room. And whatever Sasha had said to Shawn, it was eating away at his best friend.
Part of him wanted to demand that Shawn spit it out; his friend was a human-shaped ball of frantic tension, and it was driving Alex crazy. But the other part of him was too worn-out, and he couldn’t seem to find enough energy to ask.
The unsteady balance held as they got off the plane in Denver. Shawn didn’t say anything, Alex didn’t ask, and Sasha’s gaze bored into Alex’s back like a stick spearing him between the shoulder blades, waiting for one of them to break.
“You want to stay with me again?” Shawn asked. It was the first thing he’d said to Alex all day, and there was another layer to his question that Alex couldn’t even begin to parse.
“Yeah, if that’s okay.”
“Sure, Phantom. Always.” Shawn hesitated, like he was about to say something, then snapped his mouth shut. Alex gritted his teeth and dragged himself and his bag down the hall after his friend. Shawn wouldn’t manage to hold out much longer, and he was honestly dreading whatever conversation they were preparing to have.
Coach had announced a mandatory team dinner-slash-bonding that evening at a restaurant across the road from their hotel. So while Alex wanted nothing more than to collapse on the other queen bed in the room and wrap himself up in a comforter, he changed into a pair of jeans and a dress shirt and let Shawn tug him outside and to the expensive Italian restaurant that had been selected.
“Let’s sit down here,” Shawn said, one hand on Alex’s arm to guide him to the end of the table. Alex followed blindly, letting Shawn point him toward an empty chair.
And that’s when he noticed the trap, because there, in the seat on his other side, was Sasha.
Alex went to stand back up, but Shawn’s hand had moved to his shoulder and pushed him right back down into the chair.
“Carts,” Alex bit off.
Shawn shook his head. “It’s only dinner.”
“This isn’t the place for it.” They were surro
unded by teammates, and the last thing Alex wanted was to make a scene.
Shawn slid into his own seat on Alex’s left. “Just hear him out.”
But Alex couldn’t. He was hungry—not for pasta, but for the rich scent that filled his mouth and nose. Even looking at Sasha on his right would be too much. As it was, just sitting this close to him was sheer torture.
He tried. Alex stared straight ahead at his plate, took tiny sips from his water glass with hands that shook and fingers that felt numb. The restaurant was loud, and he sank into the white noise of people talking and dishes clanking together.
It wasn’t enough.
Sasha cleared his throat, and the soft sound cut through the din like someone tapping a glass with a knife. “Alex,” he said softly.
Alex couldn’t. He could smell Sasha, feel the heat coming off his body from so close. Every single atom in his body strained toward the person on his right, and Alex’s resolve was crumbling with every lightly accented syllable that escaped Sasha’s lips.
Chest heaving, he pushed back from the table and fled toward the bathroom.
It wasn’t a surprise when Shawn followed him only a few seconds later. He pushed the bathroom door open tentatively, peering inside. “Phantom, you okay?”
Alex was slumped over the counter between the sinks, elbows resting on the surface while his head hung down between his hands. He glanced over at Shawn, but didn’t speak, too busy trying to steady his breathing.
Shawn glanced over his shoulder, as though to make sure no one else had followed him, then slid into the bathroom and pushed the door shut firmly behind him. “I told the guys you ate something bad at lunch.”
“Thanks.”
“You can’t keep going on like this, Alex.”
So they were going to do this now. Alex closed his eyes and didn’t move.
“Sasha is worried about you. So am I. And it’s scaring us to see you this way, because it’s obvious that you’re really sick and getting sicker by the day, but neither of us can figure out why Heather isn’t helping.”
Suckerpunch Page 23