I lost everything in that one night – love, family, and my mind. Since then, I’ve lost more of myself, and it’s a downward spiral leading straight to rock bottom.
“Ciao, Bella!” he cries out his welcome; the Italian sounds phenomenal on his tongue.
I unravel from my inner desolation and look at Lorenzo.
“Buongiorno,” I say, not with as much excitement, but I see it no lessens the smile on his face.
“Bella, you’ve been in the pool too long,” he remarks as he throws a towel down onto one of the loungers. “I’ve asked for lunch to be made ready.”
I give a pitiful pout as I listen to him speak. He tries so hard, but his English remains broken, and his translations aren’t on point, but for me, he speaks English all the time – much to my uncle’s dismay. He does it so I feel a little closer to home – and it works.
“Come to me,” he commands softly, sitting down on the sun lounger.
I listen and push forward in the water, using my feet to propel me through the cool pool water toward the stairs. I keep my head above the water so as not to wet my hair and try to quickly make my way to him. If I’m leaving, I need to relish in what little he makes me feel. I leave the water to be lavished by the fierce heat off the summer sun and grab my towel before continuing toward him.
I catch him watching me as I dab the cotton towel over my scantily clad body, and I smile timidly. I have tried my hardest to push Zane to the back of my mind – hell, even out of my mind – but he was the only man who ever truly looked at me with such predatory instincts. Lorenzo brings about all these natural feelings, but when I allow myself to swim in them, I don’t think of Lorenzo. It’s always Zane I imagine touching me, kissing me, and fucking me.
He did a number over on me that I can’t come back from. He destroyed me in ways he’ll never know, which is why I keep Lorenzo around. He’s my guilty pleasure, my fuck buddy, even though I know it’s more to Lorenzo. He’s investing emotions in me when I refuse to.
He stands, approaching me with such a look of lust that my stomach flips and releases the butterflies. In doing so, I clamp the towel closer to my body, which only seems to elicit a smirk on Lorenzo’s handsome face.
“You won’t need this,” he comments, tearing the towel from my hands.
Slowly, Lorenzo forces me backward, his hands caressing my hips as he guides me to a sun lounger and leans in. Inch by inch, I lower to the bed as he continues to force me back. This time, as his hands run up my body and as my back hits the padded pillow of the lounger, he’s towering over me like a stern, Italian god shrouded with bright sunlight.
My lips part, my breath becomes bated, and he lowers his lips to mine.
“Amelia!”
I cringe at the piercing sound of my name, breaking the moment down to nothing but awkward. I press my hand to his chest more and allow my head to loll to the side. Taking a steadying breath, I pull away, placate a smile on my face, and look at Lorenzo.
“I’ll be back,” I tell him, my tone light and airy. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“Oh, I won’t, Bella,” he replies and finally moves from covering me with his body. He helps me stand, and I feel him sit down on the bed, lounging as he does so.
I slip my black sandals on, grab my yellow sundress, and make the short walk. I reluctantly put the dress on and start to make my way up to the house. I wonder what in the hell my uncle could need with me between our conversation no more than ten minutes ago and now. I swear the Abbiatis do not understand the term ‘day off.’
I make sure that I stomp my feet up the stone steps, showing my annoyance, but apparently, it’s nothing to rival Alberto’s.
“Will you please stop treating my staff like sex pawns,” Alberto chides the moment I walk onto the veranda. He stands with his hands placed on the balcony railing, his body stiff as he looks out across the land and out to sea. “You’ve done nothing but distract Lorenzo the entire duration of your stay.”
“Can’t blame a girl for wanting a little fun,” I reply, tossing him a sickly sweet smile. “All work and no play is so deathly boring, Uncle! Lighten up a little.”
“No, it’s time for you to go and pack,” he comments, no other response.
“And what if I say no?” I ask him, crossing my arms over my chest.
Alberto doesn’t reply; he flies toward me with rapid speed, and I cower just before his body catapults mine against the nearest wall. This isn’t the first time – nor will it be the last – that my family executes power by making me feel defenseless and weak trapped by them.
“I cannot wait to ship you back,” he spits at me, leering closer to me. “Maybe when you get back there you’ll see how lucky you had it here, Amelia. I taught you right and treated you well, but you don’t appreciate any of this. Being an Abbiati is a privilege, not a fucking punishment. You’ll do good to remind yourself of the riches put at your feet. Yet you don’t. You’re this detached, defying little bitch. Your father used to always gush how much you are like your mother, but you are nothing like her. You might look like her, but she was never as cold as you are. Even after years of marriage to your father, she was still very much innocent. Which is something that can never be said about you.” He slams his hands against the wall on either side of my head, his breathing elevated by his irritation as he locks his gaze with mine. “You should use your flight to think about what loving a man like Maverick did for you. He made you so stupid that he got away without even a mark on him. You lost more because of him than you’ll ever gain back. Remember that when you have to go back and repent for your sins. The Dio Lavoro should have thrown you out with nothing but the clothes you’re wearing, but apparently, there is something about you that we keep clinging to. We all know you’ll destroy us.”
“Now, that isn’t true, is it,” I ground out, putrid anger seeping from me. “I gained some valuable life lessons while I was here. Like how sick and twisted the old mafia generation is in comparison to the new. You think I’ll destroy the family, but you seem to have forgotten that I’m not the only loose cannon in this family.”
“You’re the only one I see,” he declares venomously. “Do you think you can go back to Manhattan and lose the heartbroken look you carry around? It’s seriously pissing me off, Amelia. We all know you can kill people, and we all know you can do as you’re told, so I expect you to go home with the same manner of living.”
“Whatever,” I say and feel his gaze intensify upon me. He closes in, ready to use more threatening behavior to make me crack, but I dig my heels in. "We've been over this time and time again, you pompous, nit-witted imbecile! Fat chance!" I say, launching a hand up to strike him away. "Now, do me the favor of getting out of my face. You've seen what I'm capable of here, and like you, I don't mind showing you how little you mean to me."
"No wonder your father had enough of you in the end. You drawing that gun on him was the finale he never expected. You were spiraling before. Now, you know never to go against family, Amelia." Alberto watches me for a second, scrutinizing me while he awaits my response. "Whatever awaits you back home, you had coming a long time before you shot that gun."
"Ah, but here's the difference," I begin to say, stepping forward to push him backward so I'm no longer pinned against a wall. "I'm not the same Amelia they're all expecting back. I'm the new and improved Abbiati version you wanted me to be, and I don't give a fuck if they curse me out of that damn house. I've become what was expected of me – a cold, heartless bitch who will do just about anything for her cut of the inheritance. Family’s a business, after all. Isn’t that your teaching, Uncle Al? I need my paycheck for all this bullshit."
I know it's not all entirely true. I don't care about inheritances, but I also don't care for others as much. At first, I thought my brothers’ separation was to give me a cooling off period, but after a while, I realized that they weren't even trying. I'm at the Abbiati mansion – the headquarters, if you will – they're welcome any day, anytime. They c
ould have busted the doors down and rescued me, but there wasn't even news that they were trying.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do than deal with the likes of you,” I hiss, really testing my uncle.
“You’re a defiant brat, Amelia!” Alberto bellows at me, and I can see that I have him right where I need him.
For all this time, I have done his bidding, but now, I’m rebelling. My freedom from his life is my ultimate undoing. If I’m leaving the Amalfi Coast, I’m giving him everything I have to rile him up. Consequences be damned. Doing the right thing never worked for me, so why would doing the wrong thing grant me some more sanctum?
He shakes his head in dismay at me. “There is no salvation for a girl like you. The sooner you’re out of this family, the better.”
“But I make one hell of a hot killer, Alberto!” I tell him, continuing to tease him. “Or did the body count I left behind not tell you that already? Are you sure you want me against you?”
He chortles at my threat, holding his barrel stomach at my apparent hilarity. “You and what army, Amelia? You are nothing outside of the doors of an Abbiati home. You have no one.”
“Bruno,” I state, and I see Alberto’s eyes widen. Bruno’s departure from the family always scares them most because of what he knows. It’s another reason he doesn’t get trouble for his betrayal – he knows too much. “And I’m sure my knowledge of you and the rest of this family could very well be exchanged for immunity if I were to choose to sing like a canary.”
That rattles him some more. My blatant disrespect of keeping my already threatened place in the family.
“I should send you back in fucking pieces,” Alberto snarls, really unleashing the frenzy I’ve worked him up to. “I should take you downstairs and make you pay for the amount of stress you have caused this family. Girls like you don’t deserve sheltering from a life we have; they deserve to feel the entire pain it brings on them.”
“And that’s where you fail,” I say, applying a sweet, sarcastic tone. “You hurt me, and there will be people willing to hurt you. I’m too damn valuable to this family to be hurt or disowned. Even my father saw that, but you are one kind of devil hell never made!” I then feel myself darken, my anger heating up more. “At least my father had some redeeming features. Hell, even Giovanni did, but you …” I pause to laugh mirthlessly at him. “You, Alberto, are going straight to somewhere far worse than hell!”
As I walk away, I hear him growl, “Your flight leaves in four hours, Amelia. You have to fucking pack."
"I've got my own business to attend to," I say, throwing the offhand comment over my shoulder. "Then I'll pack."
If only Alberto could see my face as I walk away. I am, by no means, as strong as I portray. I rock the boat but only because it makes me feel like I have some power in this family. Without that ability, I fear I’ll fade away. I make sure people know how defiant and heartless I am so I’m remembered. Because Alberto is right – without this family, I am nothing. I have nothing left to do but to cling on by my fingertips.
I shake away the feelings in me and replace my fear with the same stoic look I’ve worn for months. Lorenzo more than likely heard my altercation with my uncle, but he doesn’t need to see how heavily I wear the aftermath. I need to cope with that alone.
“Bella! You really need to cool your anger,” Lorenzo says standing up to greet me. “It gets you nowhere.”
“I know,” I admit, meekly.
“Come here,” he urges and reaches for me.
I fall into his arms with ease, wanting nothing more than to forget everything and anything. However, Alberto bringing up Zane has me fighting such an inner battle that I’m scared will implode. As Lorenzo kisses me, tantalizing every piece of me with his hands and lips alone, I push away, refusing to fall into any sort of blissful state. It’s not lovemaking; it’s just sex to me. I love that rush of endorphins, but besides that, Lorenzo is not the man I want to settle with. I don’t want him to kiss away memories of Zane anymore, not like I have allowed him to do up to this point.
“Stop,” I whisper, my hand pushing flat against his chest. He gives me a small, doleful look. “Lorenzo, I’m going home today. We have to stop this now. We have no future. When I leave here, we’re over.”
“Then I follow,” he responds, his broken English sounding desperate for all the wrong reasons. “You leave, I follow.”
“No,” I tell him, shaking my head. “What we had was fun, but it ends here. We were nothing more than a fling. I can’t love you.”
“Well, I try to make you love me,” he says, not quite nailing the right translation again, but his sincerity overshadows that imperfection. “I can’t lose you now.”
I’ve done a lot of things in my time, but what the fuck have I done this time?
It’s like a dog with a bone; one I’m not going to get rid of soon and all because I couldn’t keep my panties on.
Fuck my life.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ZANE
She’s coming home.
“Did you hear me?” a sharp, taut voice pierces through to my reverie. “She’s coming home, and it’s your doing.”
I look up to find Sal sitting against his desk, watching me carefully. His lips are drawn in a straight line, and his tired eyes tell me he’s not even attempted to get back to sleep since I left earlier. To me, it seems they’ve all be up deliberating over the matter at hand – Amelia.
“In actual fact, she should be in the car coming from the airport as we speak if there were no delays,” he speaks again, this time looking at his watch. “You have no idea what this homecoming is going to do to this family, Maverick.”
“I can only assume,” I say, sitting to attempt to fix my crumpled suit.
My arrival back at the mansion was quick yet extremely fucking rough. I had my meeting with Sal, which went a lot as it did before, but this time, I walked myself out after having the final say. I’ll remember the look in Salvatore’s eyes until the day I die after I said one key important thing – you’ll need me long before I need you in order to win Amelia. I’m your way to your own daughter now.
I had no idea how long I slept before the door to my motel room blew open, and I was pulled from my bed, still fully clothed in the suit I had killed a man in and dragged to an awaiting car. By the time I made it back to the house, I was looking worse for wear but more prepared than ever for what awaited me.
Now, I was getting my every wish.
“You do know that the only reason I’m allowing you to be part of my family is to give my daughter the opportunity to see me as a friend, not a fiend again. I know after her learning of all my deceit she’ll take a lot longer to see me as a father, but there are ways to get the ball rolling.”
He pushes himself from the desk and begins to pace, heading over to the tall chest of drawers in his office to grab a family photo. He puts it back down. Leaning his head forward, I hear him begin to chuckle lowly to himself.
“Watching you fight your pathetic heart when she’s around will be added entertainment for me.” He turns back to me now, watching me even more intensely than ever. “You’ll have to look, but you can’t touch.”
“Whatever happens between Amelia and I will be her doing,” I state clearly. I won’t be pushing her back into a corner with this, I’ll allow her to come to me. “I’m here for you and what you have to offer me.”
“Better to play with the devil than him,” Sal muses distantly, smirking. “Do you really think she’ll give you a third look?” Sal asks, antagonizing me. “Maverick, you’re worth very little in life, and all of her happier memories with you are sure to be eclipsed by the sound of you breaking her heart not once but twice in one lifetime.”
“I’m well aware,” I tell him, not offering much on the situation.
“I want you here purely because I feel like you own me a great debt,” Sal announces, taking up a clean pace behind me. “You also have very little left to live fo
r and a man like that becomes greedy and willing to do all manner of things. You’re perfect for the Dio Lavoro. My greatest of men have risen from the ashes of their dismal lives and become some of the most fearsome men in my pack. Soon, loving my daughter will be in the back of your mind.”
“I’m sure it will,” I say, giving him a curt smile. “She’ll be coming home to a different Zane anyway. The one who loved her and broke her doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Killing a man like you did will do that to you,” Sal notes, nodding his head. “If you had done that in the first instance, I wouldn’t have thrown you out after publicly embarrassing you. I’d have seen the seriousness of your nature.” He comes to stand beside me, his face set with seriousness. “Mark my words; I know what you’re up to, Maverick. I know coming here isn’t about being a part of the Dio Lavoro, but more about being close to Amelia. You’re on borrowed time. I see you make an advance for her, and I’ll have your head on a spike in my office. You win me over before you even attempt to win her, do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal,” I agree, gravely.
He’s making this too easy—I know he is—but I’ll take whatever I can get. Most men don’t get a second chance, so I’m lucky I’m still even here. As voices sound in the hall, I realize the moment we’ve all been waiting for is upon us.
“Seems the fun and games are about to get started.” Sal rubs his hands together, looking all the more gleeful to have his daughter back in his home. “Better look sharp, Maverick, because I know what my daughter’s been like while away,” he says. “I’m going to go and greet her. Don’t even think about moving.”
Sal stands ready before his desk, beside me, buttoning up his jacket to look sophisticated and ready. I, however, remain slumped in my chair, feeling the enormity of my actions finally weigh on me as if gravity just gained a few thousand ton.
Maverick: Pericolo #1.5 Page 11