“I’m sorry, Ryland,” he said sincerely.
“What are brothers for, right?” I lifted my head and looked at him. “What the hell were you thinking, Sebastian?” I said, disrupting the silence.
“We were so close.” He groaned.
I ignored him. “Why would you get into the pit wasted and risk getting yourself messed up like this?”
“What are you talking about? This look is fucking sexy as shit, little brother,” he said, gesturing to his injuries.
“I’m serious, Sebastian. You need to find a better outlet for whatever it is you’re trying to express.”
“Listen, don’t lecture me, okay?” He sat up on his elbows. His words came out breathless as he applied pressure to his ribs. “I’m a grown man, Ryland. I can do whatever the hell I please with my life.”
“Even if that means killing yourself?”
“Especially if it means killing myself. I’m not giving you shit about what you’re doing with that blind girl, so spare me.”
“I’m not doing anything with Araya. She’s got nothing to do with this.”
“Don’t you get it, Ryland? We self-destruct, taking down everyone around us with us. That’s why everyone thinks you’re going to ruin her, because that’s what this family does. We ruin people.”
I didn’t respond. He got what he wanted and that was for me to shut up and let it go. If I let him continue to talk, I’d actually listen to what he was saying and then I’d have to admit that maybe he was right, and I hated when Sebastian was right.
An hour later we were on our way home.
“Be honest with me, Sebastian,” I said, breaking the fifteen minutes of silence. “Were you on anything tonight?”
He looked over at me and frowned. “You mean like drugs?”
“No, I mean like a freaking trampoline! Yes, I mean like drugs!”
He stared at me for a long time before looking away and answering.
“No, Ryland. I just had way too much to drink. Speaking of…”
He pulled a beer bottle from his jacket and twisted off the lid, taking a drink. Looking over at me, he offered me the bottle. I rolled my eyes at him.
“More for me, then,” he said, swinging the bottle all around.
“I’ve been meaning to ask, is this your new thing? Drinking until you can’t stand on your own two feet and then getting into the pit to get your ass beat? You’re lucky it was just Craze, Sebastian. What happens when it’s someone else who’d like to see you breathing a lot less? You make more enemies than you do friends. Don’t make me do something neither of us will like, Sebastian.”
He stared out the window, not saying anything.
When we finally pulled into the driveway, I sat there staring at the lights that still lit part of the house. It wasn’t unusual for J.D. to be up this late, but it was unusual for all the lights to be on.
“He’s up,” Sebastian said.
I glared through the windshield and opened the door without responding. I wasn’t in the mood to put up with this shit.
Sebastian limped behind me as we made our way into the house. I didn’t see J.D. anywhere and I thought maybe if we were quiet enough, I wouldn’t have to.
“Get in here now,” J.D. said from the other room.
“Damn it.”
“How about you meet us halfway?” Sebastian mouthed off. “I’m in the between stages of still being drunk and becoming hung over. I got my ass kicked and arrested all in one night, all of which I’m going to go out on a limb and say you know about.”
“Why do you feel the need to piss me off every chance you get?” J.D. asked, appearing in the hallway with a drink in his hand.
“I don’t know. Probably for the same reason you do it. How about we skip calling the kettle black tonight? I have a bottle of pain pills calling my name.”
Sebastian turned on his heel, but J.D. stopped him.
“You’re no longer welcome in this house after today, do you hear me?”
“Was I ever welcomed?” He walked off, slapping me on the shoulder as he passed.
J.D. continued, unfazed by the fact that he just kicked Sebastian out.
“I love being called in the middle of the night to hear that my sons have been arrested for being caught in some shithole. Do you know how this looks?”
“You act like we’re royalty. Nobody cares whether or not I was in jail tonight.”
“You’re going to be running a multimillion-dollar company, Ryland. Of course people care! Don’t be stupid.”
I wasn’t in the mood to correct him about the first part of his statement and I definitely wasn’t in the mood to stand here and let him call me names.
“I’m going to bed,” I said through my teeth.
I walked away before he could go on.
The next morning, I stood in the doorway to Sebastian’s empty room. Actually, the room was cluttered with stuff, but I knew he was gone.
It felt weird knowing he no longer lived here, and I felt even weirder that he hadn’t even said good-bye before he left. A huge part of me envied the fact that he was free of this house, free of our parents. I knew why I stayed here, but sometimes the urge to get up and walk away without ever looking back was too strong to deny.
“She’s all yours,” Careless said as she passed me and I looked over my shoulder at her.
As always, she was munching on a green apple, unaware of Sebastian’s absence. She only got a few steps before she stopped and backed up so she could look into Sebastian’s room. Old room.
“Where’s Sebastian?” she asked, frowning, and sticking her head inside.
“He left.”
“What do you mean he left?” She looked at me and stepped inside. “Where’d he go?”
“J.D. kicked him out last night. He was gone before I woke up.”
“Why did he kick him out?”
“I got a call from Stitch last night. Sebastian was at The Underground drunk off his ass and decided it was a good idea to still get into the cage. Craze beat the hell out of him, knocking him unconscious. Before I could drag him out, the cops were all around the place and we got arrested.”
I told her what happened after we got home and what J.D. said. When she walked out of the room, there were tears in her eyes.
“When is he going to grow up and learn?” she snapped. “Do you know where he went?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t heard from him at all.”
She went to walk away, but I stopped her. When she finally looked at me, I felt bad for her.
“He’ll be fine, Careless.”
“He’s going to get seriously hurt during one of those fights. Or worse, killed!”
“I hate to admit it, but he’s too stubborn for that.”
“Let’s just leave with him, Ryland. We both hate it here. Why keep forcing it?”
“You know why, Careless. Just a few more months and you’ll have your tuition for college. He won’t give it to you otherwise.”
She looked incredibly sad then, but agreed. “Just a few more months and it will be all over.” She looked past my shoulder. “Araya’s waiting. She looks… happy and so do you.”
I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Don’t,” I warned.
“Don’t what?” she snapped, glaring at me.
She had such a trigger-finger temper.
“Don’t make this into something it’s not, that’s what! I haven’t changed.”
“You’re right. You’re still an asshat! I was just saying it’s nice you being happy for a change. I know you hate that you’re stuck here with me.”
“Don’t do that either!” I groaned. “I’m always happy,” I said with a big, fake cheesy smile.
“Just go!” she ordered and pointed down the hall. “Ryland?” she called after I started off toward the garden. “Don’t fall in love with her.”
Her words haunted me all the way to the garden. Araya was sitting under the same tree, smoothing out her dress and running her fingers through her hair.<
br />
I was beyond annoyed that everyone kept assuming I was going to fall in love with this girl. Yes, I was drawn to her and I liked that she was different. It would be easy to fall in love if I was at that point, but I wasn’t. So what was everyone seeing that I wasn’t?
I looked down at the book in my hands and flipped it over to examine the back. I was suddenly nervous about giving this to her and that only irritated me more. I was letting everyone get into my head and I needed to push them out.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, reading the text message that lit up my screen.
Sorry about the way things went down, little brother. Here’s my new address.
Turning off the screen, I put it back in my pocket.
Walking up to her, I knelt down on the blanket and she looked up and smiled.
“Do you and Careless have a system now? She leaves and it’s your turn to entertain me?”
I groaned. “Not you too.”
“What?” She frowned.
“Don’t do that. My favorite thing about you is that you’re never bitter. You know better than I do that you don’t need to be babysat, watched, or entertained.”
She didn’t respond at first. “What’s wrong?”
That took me back. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
“I can hear it in your voice. I can sense your frustration. What’s wrong?”
“Family drama. I got something for you.” I changed the subject quickly.
Her face brightened in surprise. “You got me something? Why?”
I laughed. “I’m going to ignore that last question. Here.”
I placed the book in her hands and they moved over the cover, feeling around the edges. She looked up at me and I could see her confusion.
“You got me a book? Is this like you asking me what my favorite color is?”
I laughed out loud. “This is not like that! Open it,” I said eagerly.
I was suddenly happy I decided to give her the book. The look on her face and her excitement… it was contagious.
She flipped open the cover and turned the pages, and I took her hand, running her fingers across the page. Her face was a whirlwind of emotion as she explored the raised bumps on the thick paper.
She looked up at me and clutched the book to her chest.
“I don’t know what to say…” Her voice was thick and a little tear slid out from beneath her sunglasses.
I caught it with my thumb and rubbed it between my fingers.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I know you can’t read braille, but I thought maybe we could learn together? I could help you or something?”
She shook her head. “I’m not crying because I’m upset. This is amazing, Ryland. I love it!”
“So they’re happy tears?” I asked holding my breath.
She nodded. “Yes, yes. They’re happy tears. Thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“What’s it about?” She was flipping the pages and running her fingers over the words.
“Blind dancers.”
I shifted positions so I could move next to her. Close to her.
“It doesn’t have Darcey Bussel in it, because she’s not blind, but the woman at the book store said it was filled with amazing dancers who are all blind.”
She closed the book and her thumb brushed across the cover.
“What’s wrong?”
Her whole attitude had taken a complete one-eighty. She shook her head and her hair released a sweet sent.
“Nothing. This was very sweet of you, thank you.”
“You’re upset. I can tell.”
“I’m not.” She insisted, but I knew she was lying.
“Are you upset because it’s about dancing?”
“I don’t dance anymore, Ryland. If you’re giving me this book because you thought I would like a book about dancing, fine, but if you’re giving it to me for any other reason…” She took a deep breath. “I don’t dance anymore,” she repeated. “I never will.”
“Why not?”
She shot me a look that said I was either crazy or an idiot, probably both.
“Don’t look at me like that! You’re blind, Araya. That’s not a free pass to give up on everything you ever loved. It’s definitely not a sentence to a lifetime of doing nothing. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t know anything about being blind and I certainly don’t know anything about dancing, other than the fact that the dancers have amazing legs. But if you loved to dance, I bet you could’ve done it with your eyes closed anyway. So why can’t you dance?”
“Because I can’t, Ryland,” she snapped, standing up. “You don’t understand!”
“You’re damn right I don’t understand.” I stood with her. “So explain it to me. Why can’t you dance?”
It was the first time I’d seen her get so worked up over anything and I knew I struck a nerve. I liked seeing her get passionate over something. It meant she wasn’t completely lost. She glared at me through her sunglasses and more than anything I wanted to see the fire in her eyes.
“Please take those sunglasses off.”
She hesitated a minute, but pulled them from her face. Just as I expected, her usually pale-green eyes had turned a dark, angry green. She was a gorgeous swarm of chaos and you could see it in her eyes.
“Look, I get what you’re doing and I appreciate the sentiment—really, I do. But you don’t get to start telling me what I can and can’t do because you think by flirting with me you have some kind of right. I know what my limitations are.”
“No, you know the limitations the people around you have given you. You think because you’re blind, you’re somehow not a complete person anymore, that you’re broken. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. And just so we’re clear, I don’t flirt with you with the intention of making you submit to what I want.”
“You’ve known me all of a few weeks. How could you possibly know how I think? I am broken, Ryland!”
“No, you’re not!”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know what broken looks like!” I said, frustrated. Running a hand through my hair, I turned my back on her. “It’s all around me, Araya. Don’t lose sight of the person you used to be and the person you can still become.”
“I was only fifteen when this happened to me. I was a child and I’ll never be the same person as before. I’m not a little girl anymore.”
I stopped moving and my head snapped up. Turning around, I closed the distance between us.
“No, you’re definitely not,” I hissed and pulled her to me.
She landed against my chest with a breathless gasp and her fingers grasped fistfuls of my shirt.
“I’m going to kiss you. Stop me now if it’s something you don’t want, Araya.”
She looked up at me through her lashes and that was all I needed to see. My hands covered both sides of her neck and I pulled her lips toward mine. Her fingers closed around my wrist, clinging to me as I crushed my lips to hers.
I pushed open her lips with my tongue and a soft moan escaped. I wasn’t expecting her reaction and it drove me wild as her body melted into mine. She was so sweet. Everything about her made me want her more, more than I’d ever let myself want another person.
I pushed away my thoughts and lost myself in this moment, right now, with Araya. She was timid and unsure at first, but it didn’t last long, and soon she was matching my movements.
Her tongue moved over mine, dipping in and out of my mouth. Her body was pushing into mine, wanting to be as close to me as I wanted to be close to her. Tilting my head, I deepened the kiss and the wild sounds she made deep in her throat had me pushing her into the tree.
I had a hard time controlling the urge not to lift her dress up and take her right here. This kind of wild, raw need was something I had no experience with. Taking my time had never been an issue with me, but that wasn’t the case with Araya. If I continued kissing her now, I wasn’t go
ing to stop until she was all around me.
I found the strength to pull away. We were both breathing heavy and I smiled, kissing her slightly swollen lips. When she opened her eyes, she had the combination of a dreamy and dazed look on her face.
“I’ve wanted you to do that since I met you,” she whispered against my lips. “Does that make me crazy?”
“Not even a little bit. I get that all the time.” I smiled and she laughed, kissing my lips.
“As my first kiss, that was… wow.”
“First kiss? You’ve never been kissed before?”
“No.”
There was something oddly satisfying knowing Araya had never been with another guy in that way. It made me instantly protective over her and I wanted to keep her to myself.
“We can do much better than that.”
“I can’t imagine it gets any better than that.”
“That sounds like a dare, hummingbird.”
And then I proceeded to show her better than that.
Araya
Fourteen
It was at dinner that night when I finally worked up the nerve to ask Nina. I didn’t really need to ask, but I didn’t want to fight either.
“The Dares are having a small dinner party tonight and Care—Cara invited me to go,” I blurted out.
I heard the slight pause in their movements, before they continued on as if I hadn’t said anything. Finally, Nina responded.
“A dinner party, huh? How fancy,” Carl mocked.
“Cara invited you? Not Ryland?” She sucked at being sly.
“No.”
“Who all is going to this dinner party?”
“Mostly Mr. Dare’s business associates. I really want to go.”
“And I guess you’re expecting me to drop you off and pick you up?”
“Cara said their driver could take me home.”
“Their driver? Since when do you ride in cars?”
“I don’t, but a limo isn’t exactly small. I think I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be thinking just because you’re hanging out with those snobs you’re one of them.” Carl cut in.
“They’re not snobs. They’ve been really nice to me actually.”
“All of them?” Nina asked.
“Well, I don’t really see Mr. or Mrs. Dare.”
The Edge Of Darkness Page 12