by Kyrii Rayne
But he himself seemed to have bulletproof luck compared to his loved ones.
He didn't know whether to feel grateful or guilty about that. What churned in his gut as he shut the door and crossed to their bed, where Anna waited with a curious and slightly apprehensive look, was a mix of both. He felt guilty about being grateful. As if he wasn't allowed to enjoy his good fortune with so much fear and suffering going on.
“How is he?” Anna asked softly as he climbed in with her.
“Bad dreams. Same crap he's wrestling with when he's awake. Not much we can do for the dude, but I tried to at least show some support.”
“God, poor Darrin.”
She turned to him and smoothed her hands up his bare chest, making him shiver. Speaking of being one of the lucky ones....
“Yeah. But he's looking after himself. He promised to let me know if he needed anything.”
It bothered him that Darrin, who had years on him, had never found his own true mate. He was lonely as hell; anyone could see that. Darrin had filled some time by dating casually, but that special woman just had not crossed his path yet. As he leaned over to kiss his own special woman gently and pull her into his arms, Jake could only hope that Darrin would find something like this, and soon. His life was hard enough.
“Good.”
There was a little shiver in her voice already from his attentions.
Jake was still in the first six months of his relationship with Anna, and already felt like he was the luckiest man he knew. It wasn't perfect - they still clashed over some things. Though they drew strength and support from each other and communicated well, there were some matters, like her vulnerability in a fight, that would always cause small problems. But all in all... he couldn't ask for better.
He felt a sharp jolt of desire go through him as she shifted and turned so she settled over his lap, her legs wrapped around him. Her mouth teased at his softly, and thoughts of Darrin started to drift away for a while. Her scent filled his nostrils; he nuzzled her hair and then tilted her head back to kiss her more deeply.
There was so much comfort in simply curling together, wrapped in the cheap hotel comforter and kissing slow and lazy, like kids for whom kissing was new. For a while, they just indulged in that, and he let his mind drift away from all the unpleasant realities and into a soft dream of simple sensation. But soon enough, their kisses heated and grew a little frantic, and their hands started to slide over each other. He felt her warm palms tracing the bare skin of his back and let out a little groan into her mouth, which she answered with a whimper.
They broke the kiss and stared at each other, mute desire and understanding mixing in their gaze.
“We'll have to be quiet,” he whispered as he felt his loins tighten under her soft weight. She nodded and sat up on her knees, letting him lift the nightdress off over her head. In the dim light he could see the soft contours of her body, pale skin gleaming just slightly as he ran his hands over her.
So smooth and warm... the Bear in him pushed him to take her at once, even with her belly already full of his cub. But he took his time instead, caressing her body while he kissed her lips and throat. She shivered under his hands as he cupped them familiarly over her full breasts. He kneaded them gently, feeling the way they had grown a little with her pregnancy, and were even more delightfully sensitive than ever.
She whimpered and trembled as he bent his mouth to them, nibbling and licking lightly over her skin before taking one of her nipples into his mouth. She cut off a low wail with her hand, clamping it over her own mouth and gasping past it as he bent her back in his arms and licked and suckled at her nipples roughly. Her body went rigid in his grip as she sobbed past her teeth, her fingers digging into the muscle of his shoulders as she started writhing against him.
The slow, convulsive movement of her hips rubbed the cloth of his sweatpants against him teasingly. He grunted and coaxed her back up onto her knees for a moment, sitting up to shove the garment down and free his aching erection. He slid it against her thigh familiarly; she smiled gently and sat up over him, holding onto his shoulders as she lowered herself.
Jake's groan shuddered in his throat and turned into a growl mid-stroke - his hips lifted, but he held his strength in check. She was tough, and never minded his strength or girth, but now, her belly could handle little pressure, and her sex had gone as sensitive as the rest of her skin.
That wasn't a drawback; it merely required a little care, a little change of position. But it also meant that her nerves could be toyed with so easily. So very easily.
She was already shaking and breathing in little sips as she settled over him; when he slid his thumb up between them to stimulate her, she bit back another moan. Her body rocked against him reflexively as he caressed her; he kissed her luxuriantly, muffling her low, whimpering sobs as her heartbeat picked up hard against his chest.
He moved his hand against her slowly at first, while she gasped and moaned softly against his lips. But her body tensed gradually, and shook, and she rocked her hips harder against him. He grunted, speeding his caresses, feeling his body tense slowly in her trembling embrace but not ready to let go yet. He panted for air, and focused on her, bending her back again so he could run his tongue over one of her breasts. He kept pressure off her belly and simply feasted on her, while she gasped and clung and struggled to keep her mouth shut against her sounds of pleasure.
Finally, her body went rigid, and she gasped desperately for air as she ground against him with all her strength. The movement drew him shuddering toward the edge of ecstasy; he fought, keeping his hand's rhythmic stroke against her, not wanting to go over without her.
A single short cry escaped past her lips as her body contracted around him; one note, soft and liquid, like bird-call. Then he muffled her mouth with his again and heard a throaty moan against his lips. He thrust upward, rumbling low in his chest as he let go. Pleasure jolted through him, leaving him to pound his hips convulsively against her, almost lifting her off the bed from below. The room vanished; everything went away but the feeling of sending off into her warm, soft body.
He came back to himself with a gasp, and came down panting softly, cradling her as she lay limp on his shoulder.
“Baby,” he murmured in her ear, and she let out a little coo of affection that was nothing near coherent. He couldn't help but smile. He lay down on his back, and she curled over him, their bodies still connected even as his ardor faded.
“Nnn.” She kissed his throat and nestled her head in under his chin, her body still shivering now and again as aftershocks ran through her. Jake himself was happily limp, tingling from his sternum to his knees. His eyelids went heavy, and he barely heard when she spoke again. “Least now... I know I'll get back to sleep....”
He chuckled softly, and darkness rose up to claim him.
Chapter 4 -
Not Just Warriors
The suite had a kitchenette, so in the morning, just as a try to cheer Darrin up, Anna popped out for ingredients and made pancakes and bacon on the hot plate. The smell brought everyone out in a slow trickle: Jake with his stomach growling, still cheerfully half-dressed in his sweatpants. Drugged-looking Darrin, eyes sunken and tired, and hair actually askew despite his usually meticulous ways. And finally, Mark and Esme, clearly a little reluctant, and brushing hands every once in a while, when they seemed to think no one would notice.
“Food's on soon. Coffee's ready.” Her stomach was actually growling, a nice change from being listless and queasy. She credited good sex and finally getting some decent sleep for that.
“Thanks, Baby.”
Jake kissed her ear; the others were going straight for the coffee and appeared to be at the point where they communicated mostly in grunts. Anna giggled a little bit. At least she knew the brew was properly strong, and Darrin wouldn't complain about it. He had enough to complain about at the moment without dealing with bad coffee.
“No problem. I'm just not sleeping much past dawn
these days no matter what I do. So, might as well do something with the time.”
Besides, it was one way she could find to feel less... useless. Of all of them, Anna was the most out of their depth when it came to investigating Hunters or renegade shifters, or fighting with either. She was basically support crew, if that. Sometimes, she felt like a tag-along, or worse, a mascot of some kind. So stepping in and doing her part in whatever way she could was as much about salvaging her pride as it was about her sense of duty.
With two Bears, a Crow with an appetite four times her size, and a burly soldier to feed, Anna ended up laboring at the hot plate for long enough that her feet hurt a little when she finally sat down with her own breakfast.
She looked around her, and couldn't help but smile a little despite their circumstances. Jake was plowing through his stack of pancakes and tangle of bacon with the take-no-prisoners zeal she had come to expect, and a drop of syrup on the end of his nose.
Darrin was eating slowly, but... he was eating, and was already on his second cup of coffee.
Esme was both eating and talking as fast as she could manage with the same mouth, rattling on about some computer surveillance-system hacking technique that Anna couldn't follow. Mark listened, nodding now and again as he ate with his usual rapid efficiency. Anna watched them, eating slowly, mostly content to listen in until she had some idea of what they were planning next.
Finally, Mark spoke up, wiping his mouth.
“This is good, but Esme and I gotta get on the road.”
Darrin looked up.
“You got a lead since last night?” He sounded mildly impressed.
Esme nodded, swallowing and licking her lips.
“I've got hits on facial recognition on one of your guys. He's been visiting a bar in downtown pretty much nightly, it looks like. The security cameras keep catching him. I figure that since he doesn't know me or Mark, it should be easier for us to tail him to wherever he's going than you.”
“That makes sense,” Jake mumbled, then downed his mouthful of pancake with a swallow of juice. “I know after everything that those bastards will know who I am on sight.”
One of the more disturbing things about Jake's father Anthony, from Anna's point of view, had been just how much he had looked like an older version of his son stuffed into a suit. Same eyes, same hair, though shot with gray, and only a marginally slighter build. His former cronies would know Jake by sight just from that.
And Darren had partially infiltrated their group to try to keep tabs on them, so they would know him as well. As for Anna... she knew better than to try, after being made a target in their last attempt to kill everyone. But humans and other shifters not directly connected to the Lodge were another story.
“Yeah, leave the direct surveillance crap to us until we have a lock on those guys.”
Mark sounded determined, and it made Anna a little proud to hear. When they had been almost-enemies it had broken her heart a little, and it hadn't seemed particularly good for Mark either. He had gotten even more angry and unstable, as if in pain deep down. Perhaps even then he had felt guilty over his complicity in the Hunters being on their tail. But if he had not turned on that group, Anna would not have gotten the warning that saved her life, and none of them would have known that the Hunters were brought to the area, not by Mark, but by other Bears. “You got anything from your contacts?” Mark asked Darrin quietly.
Darrin looked up from brooding over his half-eaten stack of pancakes, his eyes hollow.
“Well, I have been tracking the other three Bears we haven't accounted for, but there's no indication they joined the others here in Denver. There was some correspondence between the three and the Renegades here a few weeks ago, but it ended pretty quickly. Two of the others went under the radar soon after. The third is in Vegas, but the guy monitoring him lost sight of him two days ago. We're running checks on everyone. But as it stands, whatever is going on here in Denver doesn't include all of them.”
“That's something. Less backup for the bad guys is a good thing.” Jake stuffed half a pancake into his mouth. “Any indication on what terms the six parted ways?”
“One of the e-mails I intercepted, from one of the guys who went missing to one of the three in Denver, wasn't exactly a love note. The sender suggested the recipient was, uh....” he pulled his laptop over and flipped it open, then hit a few keys and peered at the screen as it flicked on. “'Completely insane, megalomaniacal and essentially playing juggling games with sweating dynamite'. My guess is that the sender wasn't in favor of using Hunters to attack the Lodge.”
“Guess not.” Anna took a bite of her own pancakes. “So, we don't have to worry about these other three so much then?”
“That is what I am hoping,” Darrin replied softly.
He rubbed the corner of his eye; she noticed his eyes were bloodshot as well as dull, and wondered if he had given up and tried to drink himself to sleep.
“Okay.” Esme finished her plateful and wiped her mouth. “So we're going to go see if we can't follow our target back to wherever these guys are staying. Meanwhile, you guys see what further info you can get on this whole mess. We'll check in, in a couple of hours.”
Darrin looked between Mark and Esme, and then sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I'll get together any other details that come in. I have one guy coming back on the job today who is a Denver native, and should be able to get me more.” But there was no confidence in his voice, and she and Jake exchanged worried glances as Mark and Esme got up to leave.
When the door closed behind them, Jake turned to Darrin and said, “Dude, look. I'm not the most emo guy out there, but you look like thirty miles of bad road. It's more than the damn nightmares, isn't it?”
Darrin shot him a glare— but Anna looked at him steadily too, and after a glance at her he sighed and threw down his fork.
“It is. But it's shit I can hardly expect you to understand.”
Jake frowned. “Try me.”
Darrin took a deep breath.
“You know how I’m always getting cracks about my shift form, right? How small it is. Hell, even Mark calls me Little Bear. Well....” He looked down, running a hand back over the side of his head, his gaze flicking around as if he was hunting for words on the tabletop. “It's plenty fucking funny until you're facing Hunters alone, and you realize you have roughly half the chance of survival of any other Bear.”
Anna squashed a surge of pity mixed with frustration. She didn't know what she could say that wouldn't make things worse, but she had a lot of things she wanted to. How was it that he could stand there, able to regenerate, immune to most illnesses, able to turn into an animal or just use its strength and senses, and so filled with vitality he would live twice as long as a human, and still look down on himself and see himself as weak?
But compared to other Bears, he was. Jake and his brother could both turn into massive grizzlies. Most of the Bears were at least capable of taking on multiple armed humans in a fight and not only surviving, but winning.
But Darrin turned into a California black bear, a creature barely larger than a large dog, with on average less aggression than any other bear. He could probably have defended himself against an attacker or two, and he was fast enough to run from a fight and small enough to hide. But when she watched people tease him about his less than intimidating shift form, she thought it was mostly in good fun. She hadn't realized that he actually felt helpless because of it, until just now, watching his face.
Jake opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, looking at her helplessly. Ironic that he should be the closer friend but be so much worse at drawing people out. But then again... maybe this too was a way in which she could be useful to the group.
“Darrin,” she said quietly, “Look. I know you feel like you're not much compared to when Jake or his brother whip out their Bears, but from a completely non-Bear, objective view, I think there are some things you're missing here.”
She set her fork down
and sat looking at him until he finally raised his head to meet her gaze. “What do you mean?”
“Nobody in their right mind would think that facing down a heavily armed, fanatical paramilitary group would be anything resembling easy, Darrin. Nor would anyone think facing down three bigger Bears would be easy either. But when you start talking like this, or get that look on your face, it makes it really clear that you're not thinking about your own advantages at all. I mean... why put all your emphasis on brute strength when that only wins the day sometimes anyway?”
He squinted at her, expression confused and skeptical. “I'm not getting you.”
“Think about Esme,” she pointed out. “She has a shift form the size of a beer mug. But she saved my life and took down three hunters. How? By using the talents and skills she does have.”
“And a big damn gun.”
“And a big damn gun, but you have a few of those.”
Jake rubbed his face. “You know, she has a point. Bear society may be pretty damn macho, but uh... dude, you're the one who was running his own business at sixteen. You've got brains, technical skills and you use your powers a lot more creatively than I use mine.”
“That's because you don't have to get creative,” Darrin grumbled quietly. “You can just destroy things.”
Jake scoffed. “You have no idea how often we've had problems and I have wished I was more than just a bruiser. Even my brother has his instincts and better senses than me— like yourself, man.”