by C. A. Harms
“This reminds me of the tree by the lake,” I confessed, still running my fingers along the rough bark.
“Our tree is bigger,” Luke replied, and my heart felt just a little lighter hearing him call that tree ours.
I slowly turned to face him and leaned back against the trunk. We remained perfectly still, him looking up at the tree and me watching him. “How did we get here?” he asked. I didn’t understand until he continued, “How did we go from happy to being miles apart so quickly?”
We were gonna do this. Right here in the middle of the grassy field, only a few hundred feet from Bono’s. I knew if I tried I could convince him that we should save this conversation for another time, but what was the use? We’d have to do this sometime, so why not now?
“I’m gonna be completely honest.” I took a deep breath then said all the things I’d bottled up inside, not just for the weeks he’d been back, but for years. “Do you know how many times I thought of what it would be like if you and I were more than friends? All those years I spent longing for more day after day, just praying for one more smile from Lucas Rivers and silently begging that I’d get the chance to feel your love?” His gaze met mine and the serious look he’d had only moment ago shifted to one of concern. “I spent so many days wishing you’d see me.”
“I did see you, Maddy,” he insisted.
“Not just notice me, Luke, but truly see me.” I held my hand to my chest, needing him to understand what I meant. “I don’t remember a day back then when I didn’t think you were the greatest person that walked the earth. Even when I hated you for ignoring me, I still loved you.”
His chest heaved and my heart raced as I realized what I’d just confessed, but I refused to stop now. Why would I when it was already out there?
“I planned on asking you to prom,” I said. “I waited for you outside the gym, rehearsing what I would say over and over in my mind.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because you came out of the gym with Rose and I got to witness you asking her instead.” I shrugged and he stepped closer, placing his hands at my sides against the tree. “This isn’t me trying to make you feel bad, Luke. We were young and nothing can change the way things worked out. I just wanted you to know that what I feel for you goes back as far as I can remember.”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard.
“Which is why I’m so scared,” I confessed as I lowered my gaze and focused on his chest instead of his breathtaking green eyes. I could get lost in those eyes so easily.
“Scared?” he repeated. “Of what?”
“Of falling for you and then having you realize one day that you can’t live this life.” I stood taller as I fisted his shirt. “When I’m with you, my heart gets so lost in the idea of us that it terrifies me. When I showed up at your apartment the other night, your window was open and I heard you talking to your friend. There was such excitement in your voice. But the moment I came inside and you hung up, that joy was gone.” My heart was racing now. “That was the moment I understood that no matter how hard I try, I will never be enough to make you truly happy.”
Chapter 27
LUCAS
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” My tone surprised even me, but I couldn’t help it. I was shocked and pissed. “God damn it, Madelyn, I love you.” I moved in closer and gripped the back of her neck tight, forcing her to look at me and nothing else. “I’m in love with you. If leaving Alvord means I lose you, then I’m never leaving. I’ll stay here and work construction with Jeb and his dad every day if it means I have you. Whether you choose to believe me or not, you mean more to me than the game.”
Madelyn was the most stubborn girl, but I knew her better than most. I understood that hidden beneath that hard exterior was a sweet girl who wanted someone to fight for her. I was fighting and I couldn’t let go. I never would.
“I miss football and I miss the rush of playing, but not having you in my life would be the worst possible loss. I need you, and I’m not ashamed to admit that you, sweet girl, hold my heart in your hands. I’d do anything for you, because I’m yours, and you’ll always be mine.” Pressing my forehead to hers, I prayed she understood. “Forever,” I whispered, and she moved in closer. She wrapped her arms around my middle and I held her the best I could with one arm. I missed being able to hold her tight in both, but the sling on my shoulder made that impossible.
“I screwed up with you once before. I have no intention of doing that again,” I assured her, and she fisted my shirt at my sides. She buried her face against my chest, and I refused to let her go when she was in the one spot that completely belonged to her and only her. With her in my arms with her ear pressed firmly to my heart, I felt a sense of peace. Never in my life had I ever felt so consumed by one person.
“I love you, sweet girl,” I whispered near her ear, and she squeezed me tighter. “Don’t fight it, let me love you.”
Telling her I loved her was one of the easiest things I’d ever done. I’d always loved Madelyn, only now that love was fierce, binding, and unbreakable, because she is my forever.
“I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be then here with you.” I soothed her by gently rubbing her back. “You and I are building something together, something great. Not only are you the woman I want to build a long-lasting relationship with, you’re my best friend.”
I wasn’t feeding her heaps of bullshit either. I was telling her what my heart felt. Madelyn had always been my best friend. Even after we lost touch, I never found another person I trusted more.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered against my chest. It was muffled, but I heard it clearly. I knew she wasn’t just referring to the last day, but to the years we’d missed out on.
“I’ve missed you too,” I confessed, my chest burning with the words. I held the guilt for us being apart deep within me, because I knew had I just reached out to her, I would have had this long ago. But I had her now, and I wasn’t letting go.
“I wanna let go of the past,” she said, turning her head to the side so she could speak clearly but refusing to release her hold on me. “I wanna move forward without feeling like the bottom is gonna drop out from beneath us at any time.”
“Me too,” I replied, combing my fingers through the hair that had fallen from the pile atop her head. She looked a mess, but she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. “You are the one thing I couldn’t move forward without.”
Over the last four years, I’d find myself daydreaming, getting lost in memories from when I was a kid. I’d wanted to soar and make a life for myself outside of Alvord, but there was always that part of me hidden deep inside that missed home. The memories I’d get lost in involved this sweet girl, especially her laughter and the simple way she looked at life even at a young age. She seemed to have it all figured out even then. I wanted that strong-willed and determined girl back. This insecure version of Madelyn made me feel like the world had been flipped upside down.
“You hungry?” I asked, feeling like we could use a shift from the heaviness we’d found ourselves trapped in. She nodded and slowly released me. When her eyes met mine, that ache in my chest hit once again. They were red around the edges, and her lips were pressed together, tilting downward at the sides. I’d never liked seeing Madelyn sad. Her tears and her frown always made me anxious—and made me feel like fixing whatever had made her that way was the most important thing. Then, of course, finding the person responsible for her sadness came next. But this time it was me, and knowing that was hard to swallow. Hurting Madelyn was something I’d never intended.
“We gonna be alright?” I asked, fearful we hadn’t yet cleared up this hurdle before us.
“Yeah,” she assured me, only it didn’t ease the ache inside me.
I leaned in closer and pressed my lips to hers in a simple kiss, but I needed the connection. “I love you,” I whispered. “You’re my girl; nothing’s gonna change that. I won’t let it.” Pressin
g my lips to Maddy’s once more, I linked my fingers with hers.
As I leaned back from our kiss, her eyes remained shut for a few seconds longer. I absolutely loved being the one responsible for that look on her face.
I led her across the grass toward the front entrance of Bono’s. Once we were inside and seated, she cuddled up against my side. For the first time today, I felt settled.
Shannon offered her a smile followed by a wink, and I just knew that look had to pertain to what they’d been talking about when I found Maddy in the passenger seat of Shannon’s car with tears in her eyes. Maybe I should have been a little irritated at the possibility that Shannon had upset her, but I couldn’t help wonder if she was the reason my girl had finally opened up.
“Let’s eat,” Jeb said, rubbing his hands together and grabbing his menu.
Madelyn lifted a menu and held it in front of us, and I leaned in to offer her a kiss. “No more tears and no more insecurities about us,” I told her as I pulled back and kept my eyes locked with hers.
“Okay,” she assured me with a smile, and for now I’d accept it. There would still be times she’d doubt us, but I’d just have to keep reminding her that what we have is unbreakable.
***
“Are you sure you don’t wanna go with me?” I asked, curling my body around hers the best I could.
“You need this, Luke. Time for just you and the guys,” she said as she ran her hand over my bare chest, causing the sheet to slip lower and expose her breast. She was perfect, and I couldn’t stop my gaze from roaming over her body. “Though I will miss waking up with you next to me,” she whispered, regaining my attention.
For the last week, she and I had spent every night together, usually at my place as I tried to get everything unpacked. When she worked late at the diner, though, I’d go to her place so I could be there when she came home.
“That’s why you should come with me,” I told her as I slid my palm over her hip and across her stomach. “We could still wake up next to one another and go to bed together each night.” I moved my hand up her chest and paused it just beneath her breast.
She shook her head, and I cupped her breast, causing her to bite her lower lip. Her nipple hardened beneath my palm, sending a rush of excitement through me. I leaned in closer, placed my lips over the peak, and gently sucked, triggering a needy whimper from her.
“Are you sure?” I asked, and before she could answer, I repeated the motion and bit gently as I pulled back.
“Luke.” She arched her back, thrusting her breasts forward.
I eased my hand beneath the sheets, and her legs parted without hesitation. She was just as hungry for me as I was for her. Sex with Madelyn had quickly become an addiction. My body craved her.
“I think I can change your mind,” I assured her as I pushed a finger inside her and teased her. Her breathing sped as her hips gently rocked against my hand. “Or there is always phone sex,” I added and she smirked.
“Oh really?” She arched her eyebrow, appearing intrigued.
“Yeah.” I shimmied lower and pressed a kiss to her stomach. “I think watching you please yourself would be sexy.” I placed another kiss at the dip just next to her hip, and she moaned as I traced the curve with my tongue. “You watching me, me watching you, it could be interesting.”
I wanted to get a reaction, but she was lost in the pleasure of my fingers slipping inside her warmth. I was equally lost because I loved knowing I made her feel this good.
As I moved closer, she parted her legs, inviting me to take over. With the first swipe of my tongue against her clit, her hips bucked and she fisted my hair. Smiling against her, I continued to tease her, driving her toward the edge.
“Luke,” she moaned, making it hard for me to hold back. I could tell she was close, so I pulled back and she growled.
I moved up her body, sliding the head of my cock against her wetness. Holding myself up using one arm was difficult, but I needed to be on top. I shook with the need for control as I slowly stroked over her with my hardness, and she moved her hips, doing her best to gain the friction she craved.
“Please,” she begged.
“Do I need a condom?” I knew she was on the pill but wearing a condom had always been second nature. After I saw the packet of her pills on my sink last night, all I could think about was feeling her completely. I wanted nothing between us, and I hoped she felt the same.
“We’re safe,” she said as she reached between us and gripped my cock. I remained perfectly still as she guided me toward her entrance and lifted her hips, taking me inside her enough to tease me.
That was all it took for me to take over. I pushed in deep and she let out the sexiest sound I’d ever heard. Within seconds her already sensitive pussy tightened around me and she came saying my name over and over.
Feeling her so wet and tight around me with no barrier between us left me little hope of holding out. I wanted to, God did I, because doing this skin to skin was amazing. I wanted to make this moment last, but with each shift of her body, my control slipped away from me. Her fingernails dug into my flesh and the bite felt good.
My head spun and my body trembled, and together we fell over the brink into ecstasy. Words weren’t necessary as the aftermath of our lovemaking lingered between us and we slowly drifted off, still holding one another close.
Chapter 28
MADELYN
“Have you heard from Luke?”
I looked to my left as my mom stepped up next to me at the counter. She placed a crate of apples next to the sink and began placing them into the basin one by one. I washed each before adding them to the strainer on the opposite side.
“He called last night after he landed in Arizona. He was waiting for his friend to pick him up.” I’d dropped Luke off at the airport less than twenty-four hours ago and I missed him so much already. I was doing everything I could to occupy my time and probably would until he came back. A week seemed like forever, and suddenly I regretted not taking him up on his offer to come along.
“I’m sure he’s busy with the guys. I think five or six of them were flying in for the week,” I added, focusing on the apples and trying to appear as if him being gone was no big deal.
“It’s good for him to visit his friends,” my mother said, placing more apples into the sink.
It was my momma’s favorite time of year again. I think she lived for the annual charity event in Alvord. Homemade caramel apples was the treat she contributed. She made them every year and they were always the first thing to go; most people bought them in bundles. Each year I think she doubled the amount she made the year before just to keep up with the demand.
Helping her make them was the perfect thing to do to occupy my mind.
“Judy and I were talking last night.” Lately when she started a sentence like that, it meant she was about to say something about Lucas and me. She and his mother liked to plan our future, because as they kept reminding me, they always knew that one day Luke and I would be together. “She just can’t believe he’s passing up such an opportunity. It would be perfect for him.”
I stopped washing the apples and looked over at her, wondering what on earth she was referring to.
“No, he wouldn’t be playing ball, but he would have his hands in the game. He’d be able to interact with the players from right there on the sidelines.” She shook her head as if she couldn’t fathom the idea of Luke declining whatever she was talking about. “He’d be an asset to the team, and the players would learn so much from him as their coach.”
“A coach?” I asked, completely blindsided. “Where?”
“The University of Texas,” she said with her nose wrinkled in confusion. “In Austin.”
My stomach tensed. No, Austin wasn’t halfway across the US, but it was three and a half hours away. An impossible commute, which meant he’d have to move there, putting distance between us once again.
“You didn’t know?” she asked, and I shook my head a
s I turned back to the apples and continued washing them. “Oh,” she added before an awkward silence settled over us.
A million questions ran through my mind, but one stood out. Why didn’t he tell me?
“He turned it down, so maybe that’s why he didn’t say anything.” I could tell my mother was trying to ease my mind, but it wasn’t working. Knowing he’d rejected the offer should have made me feel better, but it didn’t. She was right, an opportunity like that would be an amazing chance for him. He loved football, and if he couldn’t play it, coaching would be the next best thing.
“When did they want him to start?” I asked. It would be soon, considering the season was about to begin.
“I’m not sure about the exact details,” she said, creating an array of noises behind me as she continued to move around the kitchen. “Judy just said it was an assistant coaching job at the university and that they were offering him an amazing package. I guess the original coach was forced into early retirement due to some unforeseen health issues.”
I nodded, though I don’t know if she saw my response. My mind was racing, and I felt hazy and confused. A huge part of me wanted to just pretend I’d never heard this information and go on with my life—my life with Luke. But guilt was eating away at me like a crazed animal. It was unfair to expect him to let go of this chance when he’d already lost so much. He would always regret letting this opportunity go while he worked away day after day at a job he hated.
“Good morning, ladies.” My father’s deep, rumbling voice made me jerk in surprise as he came through the back door. “What are my two favorite women up to in here?” he asked as he stepped up behind my momma and wrapped his arms around her tight. He kissed her cheek and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle. The sight made me tear up.
I wanted what they had. A love that never faded but only seemed to grow with time. My father was so content with his life. He’d wanted a farm, just like his own father had. One where he’d tend cattle and grow his own food, and he got it. He had a loving wife and daughter. Though he’d wished for a son too, he wasn’t sad that he didn’t have one. Daddy always said I was the best of both worlds. I was a girly-girl when Momma went shopping or did the things girls love to do, but I was never afraid to get my hands dirty. So in a way he got all he ever wanted.