The tablet disconnected. Maybe things were starting right then. Could the battles have begun so fast? I should have made Amari show me on a map where everything was happening. Or maybe it was better I didn’t know.
I had to breathe. I closed my eyes. Now would have been a great time to practice that meditating. It wasn’t the same as getting to cuddle with my guys while I did it, but I’d close my eyes and seek calm. I breathed and tried to imagine Hunter’s voice telling me to focus.
I concentrated on how my body felt. Usually, this was where I fell apart, but today it came easily. I could feel my feet, my hands, I could feel the blood rushing through my body. Minutes passed. Or maybe it was longer. I didn’t feel like I needed to open my eyes or rush to anything.
There was just the air in my lungs and my heart beat. At some point, if Hunter was doing this with me, he’d tell me to focus on a problem, to send it out to the energy in the universe, and see what came back.
I tried to do that. Since the girls were fine so far, I wasn’t having problems except for worrying about my husbands. There was nothing I could do to fix my worry about them except try to send them loving energy and hope it somehow reached them. This was really loopy for me. I didn’t go around doing things like sending out loving energy. But that was what I concentrated on doing.
It couldn’t hurt.
A jolt passed through me. I must really have been thinking about them because it did feel like Hunter was right there with me, as though he caressed me with his hand. I just knew it was him. I shook my head and opened my eyes.
Maybe I’d fallen asleep and imagined him.
Ari opened the top. “Hey, look who woke up. Was just going to wake you.”
“I wasn’t really sleeping. Maybe I was at the end there. Meditating. Was that six hours?”
Ari nodded. “It was and the good news, if you can endure a little more discomfort today, then we can make it so you don’t have to do that again.”
Hunter’s design? “What are you thinking?”
“He made it so it would sit on your abdomen. That made me nervous. What if it moves? So I brought Lewis in on it…” The door opened, interrupting Ari’s statement.
As though he’d been called, Lewis strode in. “Did you tell her?”
“I was just in the middle of it. Lewis is going to implant the device inside of you. Right where it needs to go with a direction to turn on once a day.”
They were going to what? There were lots of implanted devices that did this. Diana had one. Why didn’t we consider this earlier?
“Will it be safe for the babies?”
Lewis grinned. “Perfectly. Come on. Calm moment. We’re going to do it right now. By tonight, you’ll know the babies are as safe as we can make them.”
“There’s still risk. There was even doing it the way we’re doing it. Your body, as you know, it’s not a real safe zone for pregnancies. Your sister has major issues. But there are two healthy Sandler boys now, so let’s do this.” Ari nodded like he wanted me to agree.
Hunter designed this. There was something just right about his idea being what saved them. I sent him some love and a second later, that same feeling came back. I rubbed my arms, wishing I could run around in it.
“You okay?” Ari tilted his head as he looked at me.
I nodded. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Can you knock me out?”
Lewis shook his head. “They used to knock pregnant women out with the med machine drugs. I understand from Dane he had Melissa out several times when they had Diana inside of her. But we don’t do that now. There is the possibility of it traveling through the placenta.”
He was giving me a history lesson I didn’t need, but since I’d asked the question as though I didn’t do this as a profession, I listened like a lay person. It was nice to have him talk to me like this, it was nice to just be the patient.
“In other words, I will do this with you awake, but you won’t feel it.”
“You have it made?”
Lewis grinned. “Diana made it from the design using the replicators.”
Then there was no need to continue on like this. “Let’s do this thing.”
I settled on the table and decided to focus on sending out more of that energy. I sent it to Shane. To Amari. It took a little longer but Amari’s came back, rushing over me. I smiled. He was so much strength whereas Hunter had been surety. Shane was last. It was pure adoration. I smiled. I might have been crazy, but it felt fantastic.
I’d go with it.
Diana bounced Allie on her knee. The little girl was eighteen months old now. How had so much time passed? Paloma nursed Aaron in the chair in the corner, and across the room, which really wasn’t that far considering how small it was, Waverly nursed Mason. Ben and Helene played on the floor with Emerson who was remarkably ahead for his age. He was much younger than they were and yet he kept up.
I pointed at him. “Is it the Super Soldier genes?”
“It might be.” Waverly smiled. “I try not to dwell on it. I try not to dwell on a lot of things.”
Diana nodded. “In constant denial.”
We all had that in common. All of us sitting here while the people we loved battled and fought. “I’d suggest we all have a drink but the only one here who can do that is Diana.”
She grinned. “And I don’t drink alcohol. Besides, it’s non-essential. Where would you get it?”
I had a feeling if I asked Brenden I could pretty much have what I wanted. Still, there wasn’t a point. Diana sat forward. “You just lay there while they cut you open?”
“I did. There wasn’t pain. Thank you for your help.” I touched her arm.
She shook her head. “This whole time you’ve been doing so much around here, keeping us all safe when there is no safety, making this situation as palatable as it could be. Never complaining. Staying up all night. I don’t always talk because sometimes I can’t, but I always notice.” She sighed. “You and I share that, Amber. I’m certainly going on right now.” She laughed. Sometimes Diana was quirky in the best possible way. “I was so glad to finally be able to help you.”
“You do help me. You all do. You’re here. I think about it sometimes, how you all ended up here. You could have waited out this mess anywhere in the universe, some outpost somewhere, but you all stayed here. I loved having people here. Thank you.”
Paloma rolled her eyes. “This is the center here. This is Earth. Our families come through here, once in a blue moon, but they do. There’s nowhere to go if we don’t win. Nowhere in the universe would be safe. Not even across that black hole. Evander already ruined over there. We stay here, we stay with family, we do this together.” She pointed at me. “And you are going to need lots of family when the babies come. Plural. Crazy.”
I chewed on my lip. “By then, this should be over. You guys will be back on The Farm.”
Paloma waved her hand. “I’ll be back when those babies come. Like I’d let my baby sister have her first babies without me there.”
Diana and Waverly caught each other’s eyes. It was Diana who spoke. “We’ll be there for you, too.”
I smiled. It was so good to have friends and family. Everything had exploded but not this.
7 Feeling It
I woke to knocking on the door. I was tired, ridiculously so, and moving slower than usual. I managed to get to the door. My voice didn’t want to work, I had to clear it several times. “Brenden? What’s up?”
No one had pinged me. It couldn’t be medical.
“Battle is over, Dr. Chen.” He pulled me into a hug. “We have news that it’s over. We won. Our people are starting to come back.”
I threw my arms around him, and after he stiffened, he laughed. “I don’t think Master Chen liked you hugging us.” He stepped back. “Although totally appropriate right now. I’m told that several ships have chased what remains of Evander, and they’re going to push them through the black hole.”
I caught my breath.
“That has to be my husbands. No way would they leave it undone.”
“I agree. Whoever is doing it, they’re with them for sure. Even then it shouldn’t be too long.”
A wave of nausea hit me. “Sorry, Brenden, I have to excuse myself. This is great news. Just… some of my pregnancy symptoms are getting worse by the day.”
He stepped back, his eyes wide. “Let me know if you need anything.”
Only time was going to fix this, but having my three guys back would go a long way to making this a lot more manageable.
We’d won. Well, they’d won. I’d sort of tried to help and made things more difficult for Amari in the process. Still, it was over. Evander Corporation would be leaving our skies forever.
Joy didn’t flee, even through the puke.
I stayed back, standing in the corner of the shuttle area, and watched as spaceship after spaceship reunited families. There were some injured, mostly from one explosion that happened toward the end of the last battle, but for the most part we weren’t overrun in the med area.
I’d gotten to know the people who’d stayed here during the war, but seeing them with their loved ones I didn’t know made me smile. They had families and they were coming back. I sighed. The death notices were coming in, too. This hadn’t been a casualty free endeavor. There were some people who would never recover from who they’d lost in these battles.
I blamed Evander. I always would.
I sipped my water and watched. There was no news from my husbands, and it had been confirmed, by Diana, that they’d gone off with a collection of Super Soldiers and Melissa Alexander’s group to chase Evander back through the black hole.
Then it looked like someone was going to close that hole, rendering it impossible for them to ever come back here. It would also block those who sought refuge from them. I had a lot of mixed feelings on this subject. For now, all I wanted were my husbands back.
Jackson jumped out of a ship, followed by Damian. My heart rate kicked up. These were my friends—family, really—husbands returning. Jackson to Waverly, he’d still not met Mason. Damian to Diana. I knew how much of her heart that man held. Jackson nodded at Damian and patted him on the back. They both smiled.
“Jackson,” Waverly yelled. When had she gotten here? He whirled around. I didn’t try to stop the tears that came from my eyes as I silently witnessed this moment. I doubted they’d care. People surrounded us all, and for a second, I wanted to live vicariously through their happiness.
Jackson picked her up in his arms, and he kissed her like he needed her to survive. Waverly was a tall woman, but Jackson held her like she was tiny.
Damian laughed and kept walking, only to have his wife throw her arms around his neck. He whirled her around, utter delight crossing his features before he dipped her down to kiss her.
I let out a long breath.
I touched my ear, tapping it to reach Ari, who was in the med bay. “Jackson’s back.”
“For real?” He made a whooping sound. “On my way.”
In the end, who we loved and what we did with the time we were allotted in life was really all that mattered. I was so glad this time was ending.
Canyon. Rohan. Sterling. Cash. Judge. All four Sandler brothers together. Slowly but surely, my sister and my friends’ family units reformed over the next days.
But still nothing from mine. Not even a communication. I washed my hands, having just delivered a baby from a Z Warrior’s wife, and tried not to dwell on that. Melissa Alexander and her husbands weren’t back yet either and neither had half the Z who had gone to fight. Everyone confirmed what we’d heard from the others, it wasn’t quite over until Evander went through that black hole.
I closed my eyes and sent them energy. The tingles came back. I loved how that went, how that felt. It was usually all three of them simultaneously now. I might have been crazy, but it was a happy crazy.
And that was my medical definition for it…
“Sister.” Paloma hopped up on the med table to stare at me. “Where have you been?”
I blinked. “When?”
“For the last week. Where have you been?”
I pointed at the floor. “Mostly here.”
“Well, I have been looking for you.”
She was in an odd mood. It took a second for me to recognize it as giddiness. My sister was truly happy and relaxed for the first time in… I didn’t know how long.
“For the last week?” I closed my tablet. I’d read about Martian measles another time. I doubted the man in the med machine had them. He’d probably eaten some bad mushrooms in one of the celebrations going on. People were looking for ways to relax.
She waved her hand. “Why haven’t you come by?”
“Because you are reuniting with your family and I thought you might like some privacy to do so.” The Sandler crew had made quite the scene when they’d landed, each of them yelling at the other in their quest to get to Paloma faster. She hadn’t been in her rooms, having taken the children for a walk. Oh, how that had exploded into a frenzy. I’d found her and brought her home.
She squeezed my arm. “You’re sweet. But you’re coming by tonight. I’m hosting a family dinner.”
Like the ones she’d had on The Farm? I’d loved them, but I was absolutely not in the mood. “I think I’m going to pass.” I hugged her. “I’m not in a group gathering mood.”
“Oh, come on. You know you want to come. Everyone will miss you if you’re not there.”
I sighed. “Paloma, I am so happy for you that your husbands are home. I love them. They really are my brothers. They’ve been nothing but good to me all these years. When Quinn came home to be there for you before he had to leave, I was so… ecstatic. I am excited that Diana’s husbands are home and back to fixing the world. They are incredible men. I am over the moon that Waverly’s loves have returned and they’re in baby bliss. You’re in baby bliss.” I touched my chest. “My loves aren’t back. I’m pregnant, but I’ve had no baby bliss. Try to imagine how you’d be feeling right now if your people weren’t here yet.”
Her smile fell. “I love you, Amber. I think it would be good for you to get out, see people who care about you, and stop being in your room alone every night, hoping your husbands will appear. When they get back they will find you. In my rooms if you’re still there. I can’t imagine any of them letting a hallway and a half keep them from seeing you.”
My sister meant well. “Paloma…”
“If you don’t come, Ben will cry.”
I gasped. “What?”
“Ben will cry. And then I have to tell you, I know he’s too little, but Aaron is already so attached to Ben that he’ll cry too. If they’re crying, Helene is going to cry. Emerson doesn’t cry much. But he’ll get all red in the face, which is rather hard to do with his complexion, but I’ve seen it. Then they’ll all be a mess and that’ll all be your fault because you didn’t come.”
I pointed at her, narrowing my eyes. “That is an utterly horrible manipulation. Ooh. I saw what you did right there. I know how you’re playing me.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Did it work?”
“Yes. How can I stay home now thinking of Ben crying?”
She pointed at me. “You need to spend more time with us so you have less of a favorite. I’m not going to have a favorite when it comes to your daughters.”
I glared at her. “Aaron doesn’t yet have a personality. I love him. I delivered him. I feel very close to him. But he doesn’t even really open his eyes.”
She leaned forward. “You’d know his personality if you hung around a little bit more.”
My sister was out of her mind. She’d cross the galaxy to save me. But she could drive me crazy, and she knew how to get under my skin, particularly if she thought it was for my own good. “I’ll come for a little while.”
Her smile was huge. “Great.”
I’d totally been manipulated. Her Sandler husbands had nothing on her.
The
party was in full swing when I got there. Paloma could call it a family dinner all she wanted, but tonight it was a party. Loud, happy voices carried down the hallway. The Farm was downright luxurious compared to how we lived now. I hadn’t heard anyone complain. We were all just waiting on news that Evander was back where they belonged. Then the rebuilding could start.
I didn’t even know, probably because I didn’t want to know, where my sister intended to live after this. Would her family go back to The Farm? Back to Sandler space? Stay here? I was going to miss the heck out of her if it wasn’t here and that was why I didn’t ask.
Manipulation or no manipulation.
I spotted my nephew Ben as soon as I arrived. He smiled at me, and I picked him up before I wondered if I should do that. I needed to be careful of the babies. I set him down and knelt down instead. “How is my favorite Benjamin?”
“Everyone is being loud tonight.”
I looked around. They were. There was a lot of alcohol being passed around. My sister held the baby and sipped water. Diana and Waverly didn’t seem to be drinking either. But the men? Yes, they were drinking.
“Amber.” Clay knelt with me. “I’m so glad to see you. How are you? I heard the big news.”
I stood to greet him, and he rose as well. “Thanks. Paloma’s excited.”
“Oh, I didn’t hear it from Paloma. I heard it from Shane.”
My heart flipped over. “You talked to Shane about it?”
Keith came over, leaning on Clay. “He talked about little else the last month. Great guy. Hugely helpful. I was sorry to lose him back to the Z ships at the end. And it sucks for him because he ended up still out there when he could have come home with us.”
Clay shook his head. “Shane was never going to not go with the Z. He’s Captain Z.”
Brenden and Matt stayed in the hallway tonight, declining to come in. That was probably smart. I couldn’t imagine them in here right now.
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