by June Ahern
Mother Superior cupped Cathy’s hands and happily shared the good news; Annie had been accepted at Girls Convent High School with a full scholarship. The nun knew the cost of tuition at the city’s most prestigious Catholic high school would have been an extra financial burden for the MacDonald family.
The rest of Cathy’s afternoon breezed by. Her mind had been lightened due to the good resolution she had made for June, as well as the good news about her oldest daughter’s achievement. Feeling that good fortune had come her way, she said a quick prayer of thanks to Our Lady.
Stepping out of Cliff’s Variety at five o’clock, Cathy breathed in the early evening air and prepared for the short jaunt up Castro Street. She checked her bag to make sure she had remembered Maggie’s buttons; they were next to the candy bars she had bought for the girls. Falling into step with the other people returning home, she noticed how warm and close the April air felt.
Removing her wool jacket, she thought that it felt like earthquake weather. The panicky sensation churning in her stomach recalled the 1957 earthquake. It was her first experience with one of San Francisco’s infamous tremors. She hoped never to be in one again. She shuddered at her vivid recollection of that March day when their house shook so furiously that the refrigerator fell over and dishes, knickknacks and photographs crashed to the floor, shattering everything into pieces.
She had just set up the ironing board and was testing the iron’s heat when a loud crackling sound whipped through the house. It sounded as though the house were coming apart at the seams. A split second later, the kitchen floor rolled up and down like a ride at Playland. Panicked, she scrambled over the collapsed ironing board and ran from the house screaming, “Mother of God, help!”
With apron strings flying behind her, Cathy had rushed down the hill alongside other parents toward Holy Savior to check on the children. Some nuns were trying to line up two rows of students in the schoolyard. The pupils were chattering loudly and some were crying. Even the nuns were talking amongst themselves and didn’t try too hard to keep the students in line. They also didn’t prohibit the parents from going to their kids.
Cathy was soon joined with her girls. They talked all at one time, telling her how their teachers had them get under their desks. Annie had said her nun had led the class in prayer until a bell sounded for them to leave the classroom. Maggie had run off to be with friends, while Mary wrapped her arms around Cathy’s waist and hung on tightly. Only June laughed, saying with excitement how much fun it was to be “all shook-up.” Mary had said, “You’re nutty, June.”
Mary’s words seemed to give voice to Cathy’s sentiments. She pondered the situation as she continued her walk home from Cliff’s. Maybe June isn’t all there, with her constant insisting she can see things that aren’t there. It’s caused a lot of problems. Cathy knew she’d have to hide the latest episode from Jimmy.
Hearing an engine climbing the hill behind her, she turned to see a green and yellow 24 Divisadero bus chugging up Castro Street, leaving a trail of gray smoke behind it. The bus shuddered to a stop at Twentieth Street and a small group of people exited, including her neighbors, Sadie Callaghan and Bernice Kirkpatrick.
Sadie called out a cheery hello as she came across the street with a light step, even though her arms were laden down with books and a bulging briefcase. She was about the same height and dress size as Cathy, although the latter felt dowdy next to the fashionably dressed woman. Sadie wore a tailored dove-gray suit, not with a skirt but with straight-legged pants and a red silk scarf tied loosely around her neck. It wasn’t common for women to wear trousers to work, but Sadie did, adding the brightly colored scarf for flair. She had recently cut her long chestnut brown hair into a pixie cut that made her dark eyes look even larger. Some of the neighborhood mothers spoke badly about her, saying Mrs. Callaghan was blunt and somewhat boyish. Cathy never contributed to the gossip. She admired Jeannie and Brian’s pretty, spunky mother. Besides, Sadie had an important job as a defense attorney, although Cathy was unsure of what that involved.
Cathy also liked the tall, soft-spoken Bernice who, like herself, wore simple neutral-colored clothing. She was a plain looking woman with striking violet-blue eyes hidden behind large horn-rimmed glasses. To Cathy, Bernice’s most attractive quality was her kindness and her ability to listen attentively.
When the girls had first told their mother that Bernice was a doctor, Cathy naturally assumed they had meant a physician. It wasn’t until Cathy had asked for medical advice about June’s recurring headaches that she learned her neighbor was an anthropology professor at San Francisco State University. Cathy held both women’s educated positions in deep respect.
Seeing Bernice juggle two stuffed brown-paper grocery bags, Cathy insisted on helping and took a bag. The girls had said Bernice was a fabulous cook, better than Nancy. “She cooks Mexican and Chinese food the best ever,” Mary had said. Annie tut-tutted and reminded Mary she couldn’t say it was the best because they’d never had that kind of food before.
Cathy felt a bit guilty when the girls raved about the fine food. With her job, she didn’t have time to make fancy dinners.
Bernice smiled, showing her gratitude at her neighbor’s offer to help carry the bags and asked how her job at Cliff’s was working out. It was because of Bernice and Sadie’s encouragement Cathy had taken the risk of going in and asking for a job. Both women had become her friends, more than anyone else in San Francisco since Mrs. G.
“Good,” she answered quickly, then added, “but it’s hard on the girls. They have to take over for me with the cooking and cleaning. Jimmy’s particular about that, you know.”
“Hey, life’s not easy,” Sadie said decidedly. “My ex-husband was always nagging them to clean-up their mess and I’ve finally got them doing it. Yeah, our kids toe the line, too.”
Bernice laughed. “You’re dreaming,” she said in her Southern drawl.
The words “our kids” caught Cathy’s attention. She thought how nice it was Bernice, who didn’t have any children of her own that Cathy knew of, took such a caring role with her roommate’s children. Still, although Jeannie and Brian were polite kids, they were a bit wild. Jimmy had said it was because there was no husband to supervise them. Cathy wondered if life would be easier if she had a friend to help raise the girls instead of Jimmy.
The three women stopped on the corner of Liberty to chat for a bit about the kids. They agreed that June and Brian going to Eureka Valley Park after school was not a very good idea. The kids should be doing homework. Collectively they ruled; no park on weekdays. Before the women separated to go care for their families, Cathy asked Bernice for the recipe for her green chili enchilada casserole.
* * * * *
Chapter 22
DANCING WITH THE MOON
MAY 31, 1959
THE CRISP NIGHT air and the bouquet of garden scents wafting through the open window of her small yellow bedroom beckoned June. Looking past the lace curtains to the night sky she began to think of the next day, her ninth birthday and what it would bring.
Last year just before her birthday, the family had received good news; they were now officially citizens of the United States of America. They had celebrated at Playland and afterwards with a walk on the beach. June hoped something special would happen for this birthday also.
Listening to Mary’s soft snoring, she quietly slipped from beneath the quilted bedcover and slid open the window to step out onto the rooftop over the back porch. The window’s pulleys squeaked with age and for a moment her sister’s snoring stopped. Crouched on the windowsill she hesitated until her sister resumed her deep breathing. She had discussed with Mary her need to be alone to talk with her angel and Mary had agreed to keep her sister’s nocturnal excursions a secret. Even so, June didn’t want to wake her up.
As the world slept, June stepped out and settled onto the sloped roof. Sitting with her pink bathrobe wrapped tightly, chin resting on her drawn-up knees and her unruly, curly
hair freed from barrettes and springing up from her head, she enjoyed the magic of the dark night and felt anything but alone.
The full moon was out and briefly showed its face before slipping behind a cloud. Hearing a faint rustle of leaves on the tall walnut tree whose boughs brushed against the rooftop, June smiled, knowing that the neighborhood cats were watching her. Soon, one or two would jump gracefully out of the tree to sit with her and take in the wonders of the nighttime.
Fully awake with excitement, June recalled how earlier that morning, when she and her sisters had hurried down the steep hills toward school, her sisters had divulged they had a special plan for her birthday. Although no details were given, Mary did say it would be a big surprise celebration, something completely new for June’s birthday. Their enthusiasm only fueled her anticipation. One thing she was certain of was they would be going to the picture show. When Mary teased her little sister by saying, “You can’t guess what we’re doing for your birthday,” the other two bumped her from either side and said, simultaneously, “Shut up! She will, too!” Although June was tempted to conjure up the image of what the surprise would be, she stopped herself as the images started forming in her mind. No, she’d wait, she decided. A surprise was too much fun to ruin!
The jittery butterflies of anticipation flew widely through June’s arms. Imagining a party of them fluttering from her fingertips up into the night sky, she spread her delicate fingers toward the moon to release the pent-up energy. At that moment, the moon reappeared from behind a dark cloud, as though accepting her energy. Its powerful beams penetrated through the leaves of the trees, beaming a brilliant light onto the upturned face of the little girl. She trembled in awe, with her fingertips pulsating, feeling as though she and the moon were touching. In the fullness of the night, June felt her aura grow large. She began to dance with the moon. Slowly, she waved her arms back and then swept them outward and overhead, posing like a ballerina. Powerful energy surged through her as she pulled her arms across her heart and drew down the moon’s bright light.
June thought of the past few months, realizing how much she enjoyed her new role as a “good girl.” Having others happy with her was something she hadn’t remembered experiencing since her days with Mrs. G. Because of it, life at home had improved greatly. Her father hadn’t once smacked her with his belt for being naughty. And her mother was more at ease because June didn’t have to stay after school. Together with her sisters, she worked hard to have the housework completed and dinner on the table when her parents arrived home from work. June was so very thankful to Sister Noel for showing her how to fit in. Her agreement to meet with Sister Noel was easy to keep.
Each day at morning and afternoon recess they met in the principal’s office, previously a room of contention, to discuss Catholic history. June found solace in her new education. She had backed down from her fierce stance on speaking out regardless of the punishment. Their meetings had helped settle June’s feelings of persecution at school. More importantly, Sister Noel had given June a most wonderful gift; she listened to her, without judgment.
Sister Noel answered June’s questions about the life of Our Lady and also talked about other Catholic holy women. June’s favorites were Teresa of Avila, Catherine of Siena, and Hildegard of Bingen because of their ecstatic visions. June was anxious to learn more about Hildegard when she learned that the Catholic nun began having visions at the age of three. Sister Noel borrowed a book from the convent’s private library so they could read together about the holy mystic from the twelfth century. Hildegard was known to be a great visionary as well as an author who wrote about theology and medicinal plants. The holy woman held a position of great authority in the Church and had the same influential power as a bishop, which was unheard of for a Catholic woman at any time throughout the history of the Church. Although, unlike June, the holy woman had kept her visions a secret for many years. June was convinced there was of a connection between her and Hildegard. She prayed to Hildegard to help her become accepted by her family and church, just as Hildegard herself had finally been.
June felt Sister Noel taught her about the women saints to be supportive of her psychic abilities.
“If these ladies could be good Catholics, why do I get in trouble for saying what I see?” June had inquired of her mentor.
Sister didn’t answer right away. When she did, she said, “I know how painful school life has been for you since you are so curious as well as a bit outspoken.” She tipped her head sideways and smiled kindly.
June laughed, knowing the nun was right about her saying things that upset people.
“Perhaps people can’t accept the possibility they could be in the presence of a visionary,” Sister Noel added.
At their last meeting of the school year, sadness overcame June. But Sister reminded her they would be together in September when June would become her student in the fourth grade. Their time apart suddenly didn’t seem so terrible to June.
Before they parted, June’s mentor had given her a gift of a midnight-blue book with a small picture of the crescent moon on the cover. “This is your journal,” she said. “Write about your feelings and thoughts in it.”
All in all, this was a very good time for the formerly troubled girl. As she sat on the rooftop, she again became lost in her imagination of what her sisters might have planned for her birthday. She absent-mindedly stroked a neighborhood cat nuzzling against her, purring. Maybe they would take her to Playland to see Laughing Sal. She erupted in giggles with the image of the wide-girthed, red-haired, freckle-faced woman laughing hysterically.
Hearing her father mumble in the bedroom next to hers, she quickly covered her mouth with her hands to muffle her snickers. The startled cat objected to her sudden action and jumped back into the tree, causing the girl to laugh even harder behind her hands. Still, she kept her mirth quiet, not wanting to awaken the wrath of her father.
What June didn’t know was that her father was also part of the surprise, having given the girls permission to dine out; a rarity for the MacDonalds. Eating in a restaurant was a luxury Jimmy and Cathy couldn’t afford. Annie had assured him they would use their babysitting money to pay for June’s special surprise gift. With a big smile, Annie had added they would also like to stay out until nine o’clock, three hours past their Saturday curfew. She knew asking to be home after dark was the boldest part of their plan. She assured her father that at six o’clock when the movie ended, they would go directly from the Castro Theater to a neighborhood restaurant, The Big Jive. They would come home right after they ate.
She had smiled sweetly at the end of her presentation, just as Maggie had instructed her to do. “Can we, Daddy? Please?” she asked.
Jimmy listened in silence, keeping his eyes on the boxing match on television. He kept his daughters on a tight schedule, without giving them hardly any free time to themselves.
Cathy sat across from him darning a pair of his woolen socks. She thought Annie’s plan sounded reasonable enough, but would wait to see what Jimmy had to say first. The girls obeyed his strict rules of coming home after school to clean, cook and do their homework. Sundays were always reserved for church and family activities. But Saturday was their day for fun, their mother told them. She made this clear to her husband whenever he tried to pile on extra chores on Saturday.
“Your mother might need your help with dinner,” he said, finally turning his dark hazel eyes on Annie.
“You know Jimmy, that’s not such a bad idea,” Cathy spoke up. “You and me could do something special, too.” She understood her daughters wanted to be with their friends.
“You ever been to this, what’s it called? Jive place?” Jimmy asked Cathy.
“Once. Met with some of the women from the PTA. It’s no a bad place,” Cathy said, darning away and not mentioning it was a popular hangout for the teens in the neighborhood to congregate after school as well as on Saturdays. He probably thinks the girls and me are plotting against him again, she
thought.
Annie stood still, biting her lower lip. Cathy caught a slight movement from the living room’s sliding wooden door. She knew the other two conspirers, Maggie and Mary, were outside the room listening with bated breath for a reply.
The clang of a bell from the television set announced a boxing round was over.
Cathy put down the sock and gave Jimmy a sly grin “Let’s go to the Edinburgh Castle for fish and chips and a wee drink with Sandy and Nancy. We could try and be home by nine, at least.” She was confident her husband would jump at a chance to see his Scottish friend for cocktails, as well as have time alone with his wife. Thus, the plan was set.
The chill of the late night finally permeated June’s cotton robe and nipped at her bare feet. After blowing a kiss to the cat sitting on a tree branch, she raised her arms to the moon once more. An unexpected image flooded her mind. It was of steely blue ocean waters with waves lapping up over the feet of a beautiful young woman. The young woman had long, wild, flowing auburn hair. Her arms were outstretched.
June stretched out her hands a bit more imagining she was touching the young woman. A sudden jolt like an electrical current zapped her. “I know it’s you, angel,” she whispered into the night air.
As she stepped into the house, the moon suddenly lit up her bedroom so that she saw the clock next to her bed read two minutes after midnight. Joyfully, June realized she was already nine-years-old.
* * * * *
Chapter 23
THE CASTRO THEATER
WITH SATURDAY’S CHORES completed, the girls went upstairs to their bedrooms to get ready for the movies. Excited to get going, June grabbed a light green sweater off her bed and raced into Annie and Maggie’s bedroom.
Her sisters were jabbering about some boy Annie had a crush on. They were laughing about the time when they were walking past Eureka Valley Park and the boy had tried to talk to Annie, who had rushed away from him. June remembered him. He was a tall gangly guy with deep-brown hooded eyes. His thick blond hair fell across his forehead in a curl with greased-back sides, called fenders.