Gavin brings his gaze back to me where the worry is clearly written on his face. “We didn’t use a condom,” he rushes out before looking away again.
I look down and sure as shit, he’s not wearing one. I can see the evidence of that between my legs. “Hey.” Hearing my voice Gavin’s eyes snap back up to mine. “I’m on the pill, remember? We should be fine.” I sit up and brush my hands over the stubble on his cheek hoping he’d relax but he still looks upset.
“Gavin? What’s wrong? I’m on the pill. You believe me, right?”
He blinks hard a few times as he snaps out of wherever he emotionally went. “Yeah, I know you’d never lie about that. It’s just...”
I wait what seems like forever for him to finish his sentence. “It’s just what, Gavin?” I whisper.
He gives me a half-smile and acts almost embarrassed. “I’ve never had sex without a condom before. I beat it into my head early on to never let that happen. Before Callie, I was trying to avoid the exact situation I’m currently in with Carly. After her, I wanted to ensure it didn’t happen again. I’ve never been so caught up in the moment that I...forgot.”
I’m at a loss for words. He almost seems mad or maybe disappointed in himself, and for the life of me, I can’t seem to understand why.
“Are you...mad at me?” Gavin’s eyes go wide at my question.
“No. God, no.” He pauses and looks around the room before bringing his eyes back to mine.
“This moment really substantiates what I already know, and that’s how much I love you. I’m actually happy that you’re not pissed at me for being irresponsible.”
“If I wasn’t on the pill then I would be freaking the hell out. I already love Callie and I don’t care in the slightest that you two are a packaged deal, but that doesn’t mean we need another child in the near future.”
A gorgeous smile crosses his face. “Not in the near future, but not in the too far off future, either. A baby with you doesn’t seem scary at all.”
“I’m only twenty,” I blurt out. I want kids, possibly a lot of them, but I still have a lot of time before I want to become a mother, other than the role I’ll hopefully have in Callie’s life.
“I know, and that’s why we’ll wait a few years. But you’re kidding yourself if you think I’ll be able to wait more than two or three years to plant my kid inside of you.”
I smirk and shake my head. Gavin seems so sure of himself. I guess his worry earlier really didn’t stem from his concern about getting me pregnant. “We’ll talk about this again in a few years. Now let’s go clean up.”
Gavin wags his eyebrows at me before giving me a huge smile and helping me off the couch.
****
From: Jim Togg
To: Kate Reynolds
Subject: Re: Question
* * *
Ms. Reynolds,
I’ve informed The Jentar Group that we have no SGS stock for sale at this time. The owner of this company checks in often and has since the death of your father. If anything changes on your end, let me know.
Regarding your adoption, my father Jim Togg, Senior was the attorney that helped your parents finalize your adoption. My father retired a few years ago, but I’ll contact him and see what if any information I can get for you.
Hopefully, I have something for you soon. If you need anything else in the meantime, don’t hesitate to contact me.
Sincerely,
Jim Togg
“Do you want to go out Friday?”
After I log out of my email on the library computer late Monday afternoon, I find Alyssa behind me. “Maybe. What do you have planned?”
I discovered within days of meeting Alyssa that you never agree to do something with her until you know for a fact what she has planned.
“I overheard some guys in my history class talking about a fight that’s planned Friday night at Phil’s. They know the guy fighting or something. That’s how they know about it already. I want to go.”
My eyes narrow at her casual statement to attend a fight at a place no one in our group—including Alyssa only a week ago—think is safe enough to go. “No, way. Alyssa, Gavin would go mad if he found out I went there to watch a fight because it’s not safe. That means it’s not safe for you, either.”
She shrugs her shoulders, as if she hasn’t a care in the world. “Nah. If it’s safe enough for Kyler to not only go there but to fight, then I think I’ll be okay.”
Oh, crap. This is about Kyler. “No offense, but Kyler is a lot bigger and meaner than you are. Plus I doubt he has to worry about being raped when he’s there,” I add.
“Oh, please. I’m not going to be raped.” I shake my head at how stupid she’s acting.
“Alyssa, the guy who runs that place is dating Carly and he sounds shady as hell.” Alyssa stops and turns away, acting very annoyed with me.
“If you don’t want to go, then fine, don’t go. Just stop trying to talk me out of it.” Before I can say anything else, Gabby walks up. Alyssa shoots me a dirty look—clearly a warning not to say anything.
“Ugh, it’s not even mid-terms yet and I’m already dying for this semester to be over,” Gabby whines, not picking up on the tension between Alyssa and me.
“Me too. I just want to graduate and get the hell out of here all together,” Alyssa replies. There’s something more going on with her, and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
“Oh, please. Like you’d ever be able to move away from me,” Gabby adds with a chuckle. I missed this kind of connection when I was younger. My parents didn’t prevent me from having friends, but they kept a tight leash on me and in turn I rarely did anything with friends outside of school.
“Well, I’m outta here. See you chicks later.” Alyssa pops up and walks off without another glance in our direction.
“I don’t believe she knows what to think of Kyler anymore. The idea that he might like her more than just as friends has her acting strange.” Gabby says.
I wonder if it’s that or the fact that she thinks by Kyler fighting at Phil’s it somehow means it’s safe for her now. “Maybe it’s something else,” I add without ratting Alyssa out.
“Maybe. Alyssa and I met Kyler shortly after I went out on a date with Noah. At the time Kyler was still dating the same girl he dated all through high school.”
“Oh.” That explains why Alyssa seemed shocked when Kiran made that comment. “Noah said all of their friends from high school thought the two of them would end up married, but then she broke up with Kyler out of the blue and started dating some other guy.”
“Poor Kyler.” Gabby starts nodding her head agreeing with me.
“A couple of months later Kyler’s ex was pregnant with this other guy’s kid. Noah said she learned the hard way what a great guy Kyler really is. Her new man deals drugs, and I guess even puts his hands on her—while she was pregnant. That’s why Kyler flipped and wanted a shot at him.”
I have to admit I wondered what pissed Kyler off to the point he was desperate enough to agree to fight at Phil’s.
“At some point his ex tried to get back with him but he shot her down. Kyler hated the idea that someone hurt her, but he claims he’s not going back there again. That’s when he opened his eyes and he really started to notice Alyssa. At least that’s what I got out of Noah. I really can’t blame Alyssa for not noticing. I don’t think any of us did.”
I’ve only been around Kyler a few times and I’ve never heard Alyssa mention him unless she was telling me about a fight at The Hill.
“Has Alyssa ever even had a boyfriend?” Gabby waits a second before answering me, and I wonder if I asked something I shouldn’t have.
“Yeah. She dated a guy for a little over a year in high school. They were the it couple at our school, but right before our senior year, he was killed in a car accident. Lis flipped a switch and it seems like she always picks guys that are the complete opposite of Shane.”
My heart drops for Alyssa. “Does Kyler remin
d you of Shane?”
“No, other than he’s a nice guy. Alyssa seems to seek out guys who end up treating her like shit. I think she’s afraid to fall in love again and that’s her way of ensuring it won’t happen.”
“Wow, what a pair they’d make. Maybe it’s best they don’t date each other,” I reply.
“Maybe, either way I’m staying out of it. If they get together and something happens, then Noah and I will be stuck in the middle.” And I’m sure Alyssa will demand she take her side. I haven’t known them long, but long enough to know how Alyssa thinks.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Gabby grabs her bag and stands up. “I need to get going. See you tomorrow.”
Once she’s gone, I start to gather up my stuff when I spot a guy in the corner of the library watching me. I mean really watching my every move in a creepy way. He’s close to my age, therefore it’s possible he’s just a student who doesn’t understand how rude it is to stare, but my gut is telling me he’s not here to study. I look away a few times then slowly bring my eyes back to his. Every time I find him still staring at me.
I rush to put my stuff up in my bag and quickly walk out with a group of students. My heart is pounding in my chest. When I make it to my car, I look around but I don’t see him anywhere. Either way, I get in and head off before he has the chance to find me again.
****
I open the apartment door, ready to tell Gavin about the man I saw in the library when I see him slam his cell phone down on the coffee table. He turns and spots me standing in the doorway. I can tell he’s trying to dial back his temper, but his body is still tense. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he snaps in a clipped tone, which causes me to take a step away from him. Gavin sighs. “Yes. Everything is fine,” he repeats without as much anger.
I nod my head and rush out, “Okay. I’m going to go study for a while.” I hurry off to Gavin’s office, hoping that whatever has upset him will pass by the time I’m done working on the only piece of homework I have. It’s nothing that needs to be done this moment. I was just grabbing at straws to get away from him.
I pull out my book and folder as my hand bumps the mouse to Gavin’s computer, which brings it out of sleep mode, allowing me to easily read an email he left up.
From: Mark Stevens
To: Gavin Loman
Subject: Re: Funds
* * *
Mr. Loman,
At this time we regret to inform you that we are unable to grant your request for a loan. Hill Software is successful. However, your debt to income ratio for a loan of this amount is cause for concern. If you’d like, I would be happy to take a look again in about six months to a year.
Sincerely,
Mark Stevens
Loan Manager, Berkeley Bank
My heart starts racing. Crap. He’s having money problems, probably due to me, and my mountain of issues. No wonder he snapped at me when I got home. I feel like curling up and crying. I love him and to think that I’m causing him stress is more than I can handle.
I know I shouldn’t—maybe I don’t have any other choice—but to sell my stock. God. I hate this. What else can I do?
I don’t know the first thing about selling stock but as long as I don’t sell to The Jentar Group, aka Leeta, then certainly everything will be okay. At least I’ll be able to pay for my tuition, which should keep Gavin from needing a loan.
By the time I complete my homework and come back out to the living room, I find Gavin drinking a beer and watching something on TV.
His eyes leave the TV and follow me as I walk into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
“Sorry I snapped at you earlier. I was acting like an asshole.”
I plaster on a happy smile, hoping he knows I’m not upset. “It’s okay.”
Gavin’s face changes. “No, it’s not. Don’t ever allow anyone to treat you like shit, me included. I was pissed off earlier and it had nothing to do with you, but still...I took it out on you when you walked through the door.”
How can he say that it has nothing to do with me? He needs money and I’m the reason he needs it. It seems he doesn’t plan to share his problems with me. “You were mad. You didn’t take anything out on me.”
“C’mere.” I walk over to him and he pulls me down into his lap. “I’m sorry. You might not be mad, but I’m mad at myself. I love you and being a dick to someone you love is a shitty thing to do.”
Gavin is rubbing his thumb up and down my back. I’m about to fall asleep when a thought comes to me. “How early does Phil announce that he’s going to host a fight?”
Gavin’s body was relaxed, but at my question, he goes rock solid. “Why?”
“Alyssa heard there’s going to be a fight Friday night, and she’s under the impression that she and I should go.” Gavin goes from tense to frantic in seconds.
“Over my dead body. You nor your friend are going anywhere near Phil’s.” I was in the process of telling him that I in fact have no desire to go as he starts rambling off crazy comments. “People die there, women are raped, and some have even gone missing. Not to mention he’s fucking Carly, which means he’ll want to do God only knows what to you and—”
“Gavin!” I shout, causing him to stop mid-rant and look back at me. “I never said I was going or that I wanted to go. I asked because Alyssa told me she’s going and I’m worried about her. She’s under the impression that it’s not nearly as bad as everyone claims if Kyler not only went but fought there.” Gavin blows out a deep breath and starts to calm down—at least a little.
“Fucking Kyler. What no one realizes is that Kyler was extremely lucky he wasn’t sent back in a body bag. Phil hates Kiran because of his connection to me, which means he’ll hate Kyler on principle alone. Why he allowed him to fight there without consequences is beyond insane to me. I’m guessing he didn’t connect the dots that the two of them are brothers.” He runs his hands through his hair and sighs.
“If your friend shows up there and they know who she is—or who she’s friends with—there will be ramifications. You need to talk her out of going or this might be a real case of curiosity killing the cat.”
My eyes go wide with worry. Talking Alyssa out of this isn’t going to be easy. Actually, it might be impossible, at least without Kyler’s help. “I think Kyler needs to talk to her. Maybe if he tells her she shouldn’t go she’ll listen. At least he’s been there. If I tell her not to, she won’t listen to me anymore than she did earlier today.”
Gavin walks over and pulls me into his body. “Promise me you won’t go anywhere near there,” he states in a pain-filled voice.
“I promise.” After I make my promise I can feel Gavin’s body finally relaxing. I only wish I could figure out a way to relax myself.
From: Jim Togg, Sr.
To: Kate Reynolds
Subject: Adoption
* * *
Ms. Reynolds,
My son contacted me with your request to know the details pertaining to your adoption. Unfortunately, it was a closed adoption, meaning everything regarding to it is to remain confidential.
I knew your father for many years, and I felt his loss as both a client and a friend. I’m sorry that I’m unable to provide you with any information, but I hope you find the happiness your parents wished for you.
Sincerely,
Jim Togg, Sr.
Crap. That doesn’t help me in the slightest. Both of my parents are dead, it’s not like they can sue him for telling me, unless...unless the person who gave me up is the one who...who what? Stole me? Shit. My mind is racing with ideas, and I don’t think it will stop until I know who my birth parents are.
From: Kate Reynolds
To: Jim Togg, Sr.
Subject: Re: Adoption
* * *
Mr. Togg,
I understand what a closed adoption means, and I also understand what confidential means, however both of my parents are deceased and some accusations were recently made
as to how my parents came to adopt me. Are you protecting a third party by keeping this information confidential? I’m not asking as a kid who would like to meet her birth parents. Even after my father’s death, I decided that wasn’t a route I wanted to explore until recently. Now I feel it’s a must that I know because someone else is trying to imply my parents might have kidnapped me from my “real” family.
Please, I beg of you, if you have any information regarding my birth parents, would you please share it with me?
Thank you for your time,
Kate Reynolds
****
As the week goes by, Gavin’s mood alternates from good to dark. He was happy after Callie returned on Tuesday. When she’s gone he’s understandably concerned for her, which definitely played into his mood until she returned.
Then Thursday he got a call from someone and left Callie and I alone for hours while he went out to take care of something. He didn’t return until the middle of the night, and this time he allowed his dark mood to take over. He didn’t wake me up for sex or even pull me tight to his body when he climbed into bed. Instead, he stayed as far away as he could from me, leaving me to wonder what happened while he was gone. To make matters worse, I could smell alcohol on him.
Friday his mood was still dark, and he hardly said two words to me until it was time for me to leave for school. “Don’t get any ideas about going anywhere tonight with Alyssa. Come straight home after class.”
His comment rubs me the wrong way. He went God only knows where last night, and still hasn’t mentioned to me where he went and he thinks it’s all right to demand that I come straight home?
Instead of answering I grab my bag and walk to the door, but as I’m opening it, Gavin puts his hand up, keeping me from opening it all the way.
“Did you hear me?” The only answer I give him is a quick nod of my head. “I’m not trying to sound like an asshole, but I need to know you’re not going anywhere near Phil’s tonight.”
Beneath The Lies Page 17