I grabbed her wrist from between our bodies and pulled it up roughly. Her eyes grew wide with stunned shock and then narrowed angrily.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she hissed. “I’ve done everything but gotten on my knees and begged.”
“It was only a matter of time.”
She did a complete three-sixty, her lips parted, and she made her breath soft and panty.
“I’ll get on my knees if that’s what you really want.” She lifted up on her tiptoes and her lips moved toward mine, but I turned my head before she could touch me.
“I’m not interested, Roxy. I like my women less... desperate.”
“Ugh!” she growled, pulling her wrist free and pushing against my chest. I didn’t budge, but she took a step back. “You didn’t seem to mind desperation on her!”
I glared at her. “Watch it, Roxy. I’m not in the mood.”
“Boohoo, Ryland. Is the truth too hard to handle? She was desperate and pathetic! Everyone could see it.” She smirked. “Well, everyone but her.”
I took a step toward her and a flash of fear paled her skin. My fingers nearly strangled the expensive crystal in my hand, threatening to crush it. I was raised to never hit a woman and I wasn’t about to change that for someone like Roxy. She wasn’t worth it.
“That’s real rich coming from someone who just offered to get down on her knees for some affection. Invest in a therapist, Roxy.” I set down my empty drink and moved to walk around her. “And maybe some self-esteem.”
“You’re an asshole, Ryland Dare.”
“I never claimed to be anything else.” I walked away from her as she stood there muttering something under her breath
I found my way back to the bar, and the bartender placed another Jack and Coke in front of me before I could order. I had a feeling we were going to be best friends by the end of the night. I thanked him, took a sip, and turned to go find a better hiding place.
Fuck me... again.
“Take it easy, Ryland. I need you to not be a drunken idiot by the end of the night.” Then J.D. told the bartender, “Scotch. Dry.”
“Right away, Mr. Dare.”
This night was just getting better and better.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I snapped and took another drink.
“Your actions continue to prove otherwise.”
“As always, it’s been a real pleasure conversing with you, Father.”
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“Anywhere but here.”
“Wrong.”
I turned toward him and he snatched his drink from the bartender without so much as a thank you.
“What do you mean wrong? I’m here, aren’t I? I’m not going to follow you around like an obedient dog.”
“You’ll do whatever I damn well tell you to do!” J.D. spat.
Before I could tell him he could go to hell, Coraline joined us with another couple.
“There you two are!”
She caught the looks on both J.D.’s and my face and laughed nervously.
“We’ve been looking for you. Ryland, honey, this is Mr. and Mrs. Mark Vincent. This is my son, Ryland.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Ryland,” Mark said, shaking my hand.
“You too, sir. This is quite the event,” I said, lifting my glass in the air.
“Yes, it is, isn’t it? We’re very proud of this organization and everything it represents. We’re especially proud of this year’s beneficiary. It’s a great learning program.”
I just nodded. I had absolutely no idea what the hell he was talking about.
“We also have a big surprise for all of our guests. Unfortunately, our live musician got stuck in some traffic so we’re going to resort to the AV equipment.”
“Oh, no!” Coraline said, looking at me. I didn’t like the gleam in her eyes. “Isn’t that a coincidence? I was just telling Julie what an amazing piano player you are, Ryland,” she said, trying to fill the silence.
“Yes. Your mother has been gushing over your many accomplishments, Ryland,” Julie said. “It sounds like she’s your biggest fan.”
I was in the process of taking a drink and I nearly choked on the smooth liquor. Coraline glared and me.
“Oh my. Are you okay?” Julie asked.
“I’m sorry. I just thought I heard bu—”
“I’m sure if it was all right with you, Mark, Ryland would be happy to play tonight during the presentation,” J.D. offered.
I turned to glare at J.D. now. “I don’t think they want me to.”
“Nonsense! We’d be delighted,” Mark said.
“All right,” I said.
“Great! It’s settled, then. I’ll meet you at the back of the stage in about twenty minutes.”
“Great,” I told him, lifting my drink in a salute.
“If you ladies don’t mind, I have some business to discuss with J.D.”
Mark kissed his adoring wife on her temple and she smiled and patted his arm. He stood there waiting for J.D. to follow him. Coraline touched J.D.’s arm and lifted her smiling face toward him, waiting for him to show the same kind of affection. He finished off his drink and then handed her his glass before walking around her without another word.
She lowered her gaze to the glass in her hand for a second and then shook it off, smiling at Julie. I could see it in Julie’s eyes—that look of pity for Coraline. I recognized it because I used to have that same look in my eyes when I looked at her too.
I turned toward the bar and the same bartender looked at me and smiled. “You look like you could use something stronger.” He pushed a shot glass toward me. “This time it’s straight Jack.”
“So it’s true what they say?”
“What’s that?”
“That bartenders are very wise.” I downed the shot, and he laughed.
“I guess so.”
I pushed the shot glass toward him.
“Better make it a double.”
My head felt cloudy as I made my way toward the back of the stage, and I was starting to think maybe those two shots were a bad idea. If I fucked up tonight, I’d probably never live to hear the end of it from J.D. And he’d have no one to blame but himself. He’s the one who wanted to put me on the spot and show me off.
“There he is!” Mark said cheerfully.
“Here I am.” I forced a smile and put my hands in my pockets.
“I know your dad kind of put you on the spot. No hard feelings if you want to back out.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.”
“Well, thank you. You’re really helping me out here tonight.”
“No problem.”
“Here’s the sheet music.” He handed me a thick piece of paper and I looked down at it like I hadn’t been able to read music since I was eight.
It had been so long since I played. I loved music. It had been an outlet for me, but since losing Araya, it wasn’t enough anymore. Nothing was enough anymore.
I’m going to go talk to the rest of the crew, let them know of the changes. If you want to practice for a few minutes, we have time before we’re expected to start. I’ll send Matthew out here to go over your queue, okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Okay, then.”
I watched him walk away to talk to a tall guy in a leather jacket. He didn’t seem like the type to be around this style of event and he certainly wasn’t dressed for it, so I assumed he was probably one of the workers.
I sat down at the piano and put the music in place. The music notes started to blur together, and I rubbed my eyes to focus them. I started playing and the first few notes flowed flawlessly, but my fingers tripped up and I cursed.
“Let’s hope you don’t play like that during the presentation.”
“So you must be the entertainment replacement?” someone said over my shoulder.
“That would be me, I guess. You must be Matthew?” I turned around on the piano bench to face him.
<
br /> “That would be me. Where’d they find you last minute?”
“I was just the guy that was in the wrong place at the wrong time”
“That sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” I turned and grabbed the music sheet. “This music is kind of boring and stuffy, don’t you think?
“Well, it’s not my taste in music, that’s for sure.” He laughed and looked down at the paper in my hands. He frowned. “Actually, this isn’t the right music. There was a switch, last minute. I’ll have them bring over the right song. Good luck,” he called as he walked away.
“Thanks,” I muttered and turned back toward the piano.
I figured I could practice some more even if I didn’t have the right music. I cracked my knuckles and placed my fingers over the keys. Without any warning, I was bombarded with images of the last time I’d been at a piano. I put no thought into it as my fingers began to move and music filled the dark room. As I lost myself in the melody, I was transferred to another time.
“Have you ever played before?”
“No, all my talent went into my feet.”
I laughed, pulling her into my lap. I placed her fingers on the smooth keys and covered them.
It was like I could feel her here with me. I was losing my mind. My fingers tripped over the notes I made up as I went, and the sounds matched my memory.
“Here, put your fingers over mine.”
Her fingers moved over mine and her soft skin was a beautiful caress. Our fingers moved together as I played her song.
The music flowed easily again, but I refused to play her song. I couldn’t handle it so I continued playing the unfamiliar notes.
“What song is this?”
“You like it?”
“It’s beautiful.”
“I wrote it.”
She looked at me over her shoulder. “You wrote this?”
My hands continued to play even though the song in my head stopped.
“I wrote it for you to dance to. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Hummingbird.’ What do you think?”
“I think you’re nothing short of wonderful.”
She leaned over and kissed my lips. I could sense her hesitation, but the minute her lips touched mine, it melted, and I lost all sense of reason.
My hands were all over her at once and I was holding her mouth to mine as I devoured her.
I could feel my fingers moving faster and faster against the keys. I knew the music was furious and loud, but I couldn’t hear it past my own memory.
I stood up, pulling her against me, lifting her by the waist. The keys of the piano protested with an obnoxious sound.
Past the sound of Araya’s breathing in my ear. Past the feel of her lips against my skin.
I was between her legs, my hands wrapped around the underside of her thighs, pulling her against me. I could feel her heat all around me. She wanted it just as much as I did.
I closed my eyes. It was my way of being with her again. I just needed to be close to her again.
Bending her back over the piano, my lips found the hollow of her throat, trailing down the V of her dress.
I made a strangled sound and my fingers slammed against the keys and it made a glaring sound. I was only torturing myself by doing this. I had to get her out of my head for now… maybe forever, but I didn’t know how to do that when she continued to haunt me.
“That was beautiful.”
I froze. I couldn’t breathe. My memories and reality had blurred and I was hearing things.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” she said when I didn’t respond.
I was afraid to turn around. Afraid it would all be a dream and the voice I thought I heard wasn’t real.
“They… they told me to bring this to you.”
My silence made her nervous and I was taken back again, back to the girl I’d met in the park. I heard the rustle of the paper and knew I had to turn around and find out or she was going to leave and I’d lose my chance.
“I’ll just leave it here.”
She took a slow step closer. It was dark in here and I knew it was probably hard for her to see. She placed the paper on top of the piano, and I could smell her. She turned to walk away and her scent swirled around me, and I couldn’t control myself. I turned toward her so fast that I startled her. She made a sound and her hand reached out, but before I could grab her, there was someone else at her side.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I glared at leather-jacket boy who was holding my Araya in his arms and clenched my fists at my sides. I didn’t know who the hell this guy thought he was, but I wanted to pull her to me and kiss her senseless. I wanted to make her remember who I was, dammit!
“I’m fine, Pierce.” Hearing her say leather boy’s name was like nails on a chalkboard. I could think of a million other things I’d like to call him. “I’m just clumsy.” She smiled nervously in my direction.
He reached up and touched her cheek softly. I came undone at the seams. I felt murderous and I moved toward him to hit him in the face. If he’d been looking at me instead of what was mine, maybe he’d have seen it coming.
“Oh, good. You got it,” that kid Matthew said, saving leather boy’s face. “If you guys are ready, they’re waiting for you,” he told Araya and him.
“Of course.” She started to walk away from me and no matter how hard or how angrily my brain screamed at me to stop her, I didn’t and I didn’t know why. She stopped and turned in my direction again. “Good luck,” she told me, and then they were gone.
I was two for two now. Two times she walked away from me and I was left to wonder why in the hell I just let her go.
We’d rehearsed this a million times, but that still didn’t stop the hummingbirds from swirling inside my stomach.
I waited for my cue and when I heard the click, I knew darkness had fallen on the audience. I was comforted by the fact that for those brief seconds, everyone was like me. I took my spot in the center of the room, counting my steps as I drifted into the darkness. I took position and my head dropped back.
There was a flash and I was instantly bathed in a glow of light. Everything was going as planned and it helped sooth my nerves. I could do this. I’d done it once before; I could do it again. I counted in my head and when I reached six, I waited for the music to start. Seven went by and then eight and the music didn’t come. I didn’t want to move out of position. I didn’t want the crowd to think anything was wrong.
I could hear the hushed whispers start to spread around me and I knew I couldn’t stand there any longer so I started to move without the music. I worried everyone could hear the sound of my heart through the silence. It was pounding so hard. And then the music started to flow from the other side of the room and I couldn’t stop myself from showing a reaction this time.
Everything came to a complete standstill as I listened to the familiar melody. It can’t be him, my mind argued. There was no way I’d been standing less than ten feet from him and he didn’t say anything to me. I felt like I was going to throw up, but my heart was lodged in my throat and I couldn’t do anything but stand there and stare toward where the music originated.
Ryland.
It took me a full minute to realize I’d fallen behind and that he’d looped the song three times waiting for me to catch my breath. I blinked and looked around. I knew everyone was looking at me, watching the rapid rise and fall of my chest.
The fourth loop came around, and I knew I needed to get through this. I just needed to get through this. Breathe, Araya. I counted to three and moved like my sanity depended on it, and in a way, it kind of did.
The familiar melody of Ryland’s song danced over my skin like a caress. Every kiss, every touch came back to me in a teasing rush. My legs trembled at the memories, and I thought my knees were going to give out. The feeling was so intense.
I’d been going through the motions of the dance without needing to put much thought into it, and I’d
completely forgotten about Peirce. Suddenly, I was swept into his arms and his face was a breath away from mine. He was holding me closer than he had in rehearsals.
“Breathe, Araya,” he whispered, and it touched my lips. “You’re doing amazing.”
He pulled me tighter against him, fitting our bodies together in one line. The music tripped over its own notes, and I tensed in Peirce’s arms.
“Just go with it,” he whispered, not realizing he was the reason it happened at all.
He spun me out, holding me at arm’s reach, and then tucked me into his arms again. It was my song Ryland was playing, but then again, it wasn’t. It was angry, sad, raw. It tore at my heart, and all I wanted to do was go to him and beg him to forgive me, take me back, and never let me go.
It felt like our performance went on forever rather than the two minutes it actually lasted. I both welcomed and dreaded the ending. I wished I’d never let Violet and Pierce talk me into it, but never in a million years did I think I would be performing in front of Ryland.
Pierce spun me and lifted me against him. My head fell back and I felt his lips against my chest. I was sure he could feel my heart pounding, and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. The music ended abruptly and I panicked. Pierce’s lips dragged up my neck. They were supposed to stop against mine, but I tensed in his arms and he didn’t go any farther. My chest burst with relief as we finished the routine. I bent my back over his arm and he followed, molding against my chest, and then the lights went out.
“Are you okay?” Pierce asked, pulling me back up.
“Yes.” It wasn’t as convincing as I wanted it to be, but I couldn’t help the slight shake in my voice.
“It’s almost over,” he said, not realizing my fear wasn’t from the crowd around us, but from only one person.
We stood side by side and were hit with that bright light again as everyone broke out in applause. It was almost deafening as it echoed off the walls. It made my ears ring. I had no idea where Ryland was or if he was even still around. He’d stopped playing before the performance was over.
The Grace In Darkness Page 8