Control it, I thought, tempted by the possibility. I shook my head, struggling to bring rational thought back to the forefront. “Although I’m excited about this new opportunity, I just graduated from grad school, and I have a lot of applications out there. I’ve spent the last six years pointing myself down the road I’m on. I’m not sure I want to change direction so suddenly.”
“Music therapy is important to you, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It’s been my dream ever since I found out about it. I need to help people. I need to be surrounded by music.” I paused, trying to picture myself living there. “Come to think of it, there’s nowhere really for me to play, if I did move in here.”
“We would find a way to accommodate your recreational playing. But if you decide to work here, it would mean giving up a career in music therapy.”
Hearing it out loud made me cringe. It didn’t feel right. “Sell it to me. I’m not sure you understand what you’re asking me, and I deserve a thorough explanation before making such a tough decision.”
“That’s fair. Learning to master your gift will take all of your energy and focus. This place is rent free, and all your expenses will be covered when you live here, but there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and dedicating yourself to the process is the price you would pay to be here.”
“All my expenses would be covered? What exactly does that mean?” I asked.
“If you need something, ask and it will be provided.”
His ask-and-ye-shall-receive answer was a little unbelievable and creepy too. Where did all of the money come from? I was quiet for a moment, and then I said, “Not to be greedy, but is there a salary on top of this all-expenses-paid gig, or is it just a blank check kind of deal?”
“I suppose technically there is no salary. As I said, if you need something, you will have it.”
I sat back in my chair, unsure if a legitimate business could actually run like that. “It sounds too good to be true, until I think about the sacrifices you’re asking me to make… particularly since I have so little to go on.”
“I’m sorry to be the one to make you choose.”
I shook my head, tears suddenly threatening. I felt like I had come close to finally understanding who I was, and now it was being snatched away from me. “I don’t understand why everyone is always trying to come between me and my dream. It seems like my friend Maddie and the professors at FSU are the only ones who believe in me.”
He looked at me with a lot more sympathy than I would have expected to get from a total stranger, almost like his heart was breaking for me. “I’m sorry to put you in such a difficult position. Unfortunately, life is a series of difficult choices— which school to attend, which man to marry, whether or not to have kids, then how many kids to have, where to raise them, where to send them to school. All of these decisions have the power to alter the course of your life. As in this case, neither choice is necessarily right or wrong. But it is one you will have to live with for the rest of your days. It shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
I felt like he’d just laid a hundred tons of bricks on me. “First of all, I just met you. I’m not sure I need a lecture on life lessons.”
I looked deep into his steel eyes, demanding an actual answer to my next question. “How can I choose between something I’ve been reaching for my whole life and something so unlikely I never even dared to hope for it?”
“Only you can decide which path your feet should follow.”
Um, okay, Rafiki.
He seemed confused by my thought, but he didn’t press me. “Why don’t you think about everything and come back another time?”
Taking that as my cue to leave, I stood, disappointed that this opportunity to gather information about the Unseen had ended, but relieved to be free of the pressure to make an immediate decision.
“Fine,” I said. “Nice to meet you?” I phrased it more like a question, not really sure what was socially acceptable to say to the leader of a group of mind readers.
“It was an absolute pleasure to finally meet you, Mackenzie.” He smiled, like he meant it more than I did. A lot more than I did. “I do hope to see you again soon.”
My only response was to nod and walk out of his office.
Owen was waiting for me.
“How’d it go?” he asked.
“Could’ve been better. I’m sure it could’ve been worse, but I can’t imagine how at the moment.”
We were alone in the gym, and his voice echoed a little when he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
I looked at him, not ready to open up to this person I’d just met… even though I wished I could. Somehow, I knew he would understand in a way Maddie never would.
Alarm flashed across his face. “You can’t talk to your friend Maddie about what happened today.”
“Well, I certainly won’t tell her I spent the day with a group of mind readers who want me to join their cult, if that’s what you’re worried about.” The tears in my throat made my voice thick. “She doesn’t know what I am, anyway.”
He shook his head. “Please don’t say anything. It’s not just for your own safety, it’s for hers.”
“Safety? But you said I wasn’t in any danger here.”
“No. In fact, you’re probably safer here than you are out there.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what? Nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. Just forget it. But please keep this to yourself. It’s a decision you need to make without Maddie’s input.”
That made me bristle. It felt like an exclusive club where you were either in all the way, or you were out. “What is this, the Free Masons or something? You know, all these secrets are just exhausting. How am I ever supposed to make this kind of decision without all the facts? Your boss in there just gave me a lecture about making hard choices, but he didn’t even tell me his name. I’ve known other mind readers exist for all of a few hours, and I’m suddenly supposed to turn my life upside down for you? Potentially cut friends out of my life who are like family to me? Talk about wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”
“You’re right. It’s a decision none of us took lightly.” He paused. “Although, I suppose that isn’t really true. I sort of dove in headfirst, but that’s neither here nor there. This is about you, not me.”
“And are you happy with your headfirst dive?” I watched him carefully, trying to decide if he would tell me the truth or not. Without being able to read him, I supposed I’d never know for sure.
He looked me straight in the eyes, making me shiver. “I’m getting happier with it all the time.”
We didn’t speak while he walked me back to my car, and I tried hard to clear my thoughts so he couldn’t hear them. I focused on breathing in and out slowly. In. Out.
When we got to the car, I turned toward him, but I didn’t make eye contact. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I was glad when he spoke first.
“Mackenzie, I do hope I’ll see you again.” He held my hands in his and looked steadily into my eyes, but he said nothing more.
I simply stared back at him, losing myself in eyes that were almost too dark for me to tell where the pupil ended and the iris began. I needed to be careful, or I’d never walk away from him.
Just breathe. I released him and got into my car, thinking of nothing but breathing. In. Out.
10.
The shaking didn’t set in until I parked in my driveway. Still sitting in my car, I pulled my phone out of my bag and it flopped around about like a fish out of water until I got a handle on it. I had four messages from Maddie.
So bored! Where are you? You should be home by now!
The guy next to me is a total mouth breather, and he’s stinking up the whole car.
One more hour and a few more papers to grade!
So… trying hard not to worry that you’re lying in the middle of the street after some horrible car accident or something. Call me, ok?
She picked up on the first ri
ng. “You’re alive!”
“Yes! Sorry. Something came up.” Please don’t ask any questions about it. Please don’t ask any questions. Please…
“Like what?”
Damn it. “Just an opportunity. I need to look into it a little more before I make any decisions.”
“An opportunity? Like a job opportunity? That’s great! Why didn’t you say something about it yesterday? Maybe you don’t recall this giant conversation we had about your job prospects? That would have been a perfect opportunity to mention it!”
“It came up kind of suddenly, like on my way home from dropping you off suddenly.”
“Wow! So, tell me about it. What’s the job? Is the pay good? When would you start if they hire you?”
Well, truth be told, I was with a bunch of mind readers who want to train me to be a better reader, and if I accept, I have to give up my dream and go live with them. Exit Maddie stage left. “Basically the job is mine if I want it. Pay is livable, but there are some major drawbacks to consider.”
“Like what?”
“Well, I can’t go into too many details, which frankly is one of the drawbacks.”
“What does that mean? You’re supposed to keep it a secret?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Whoa, did you get tapped by the CIA or something? That would be so cool!”
I smiled. Nope, no judgment here. Just shining, unconditional support. I wondered what she would say if she knew the truth, all of it. “Um, not exactly. All I can say is it would mean giving up any involvement in music therapy. That’s the other major drawback. Oh, and I have to live on campus.”
“What do you mean—you’d have to give up music therapy? You’ve dedicated your whole life to it. How can you even consider this opportunity?”
I paused. How could I convince her without telling an outright lie? It was a constant source of guilt for me that she never kept secrets from me, and I’d been keeping a huge one from her for our entire relationship. I’d thought of telling her the truth many times, of course. In my best-case scenario, she’d be understanding—she’d think my talents were super-hero cool and she’d want to know more about them. But our world was far from perfect. As amazing as Maddie was, telling someone you could read minds was bizarre at best, crazy talk at worst. In the end, I was never willing to risk our friendship in the selfish interest of unburdening myself of the secret.
“Let’s just say it’s something I never even knew I could hope for.”
She was silent while she waited for me to provide details that I couldn’t give her.
“Okay, well, I don’t really know what that means. I do know you, though, and I know you wouldn’t think about abandoning music therapy lightly, so this must be important. I know you’ll do the right thing.”
Blown away. That was how I felt. She wasn’t mad I was keeping secrets, demanding more details, or judging me for thinking of throwing away the last six years of hard work. I marveled at how she could still surprise me after decades of friendship.
“Thank you.” It seemed an insufficient thing to say, but it was the only thing that came to mind.
“What do you think you’ll do?”
It was the million-dollar question. “Honestly? I have no idea.”
I spent two days stewing about the Unseen. By Tuesday, I was no closer to a decision. Letting Mitchell walk out of my life without getting any answers from him had been one of the biggest regrets of my life. How could I let something like that—yet on a much larger scale—happen again? How could I resist the chance to surround myself with people just like me, people who could teach me how to better myself? On the other hand, how could I abandon my life’s work, turning my back on the grants and scholarships that had been given to me in good faith? More importantly, how could I give up something that had been my passion for nearly twenty years?
I was chewing a piece of biscotti to a pulp, as if that would bring me answers, when a knock on the door jerked me out of my thoughts. Swallowing, I rose to answer it.
Peering through the peephole, my breath caught in my chest. Owen.
“The one and only,” he said through the door.
I hesitated in opening the door. “What are you doing here? And how do you know where I live?” I called out. My eyes grazed the apartment, taking note of the dirty dishes on the coffee table, the half-folded load of laundry on the couch, and a halfheartedly read newspaper strewn across the floor.
“I wanted to see you today. And I have my ways of getting information.”
I groaned inwardly.
“I suppose I can come back if you’re not feeling up to company.”
The tug of being with another reader—and not just any reader, but Owen—was becoming familiar, and it drove me to open the door. He greeted me with a smile, wearing basically the same outfit, jeans and a T-shirt, despite the fact that it was getting warmer every day.
“Why are you here?” Sure, cut to the quick. Don’t offer him a friendly greeting that might actually make him like you. Also, he’s probably listening to this, you idiot.
He smirked.
“Want to go for a walk?”
“It’s getting kinda warm out for a walk, isn’t it?” In truth, I’d walk just about anywhere with him, but I wanted to know his intentions first. I was sick of being caught off guard.
“I’m more comfortable when my feet are busy.”
“Shockingly, I didn’t have your comfort in mind when planning my day.”
He stared at me, and I stared right back. Folding my arms across my chest, I tried to wait him out, but his beautiful brown eyes pleaded with me, so I relented, even though I hated myself a little for doing it.
“Fine. Just let me grab my keys. Do I need my wallet?”
No, he thought.
It startled me so much I nearly tripped on my way to get my keys. No one had ever deliberately communicated with me through their thoughts before. “How did you…?” I trailed off, not sure how to even finish my thought.
You could do it too, if you wanted.
I snapped myself out of the awed trance I was in, forcing myself to keep moving toward the door, where Owen waited for me. “How useful could something like that be? Unless I was around other readers and we didn’t feel like talking. Or hey, maybe if we all came down with some particularly nasty laryngitis. In day-to-day life, though? Not super helpful.”
“You never know when something like that can save your life or someone else’s.”
“What? You’re verging into creepy territory again,” I said, turning to lock the door behind me. “Why would I be in danger? And I can’t really envision a scenario that would require me to get into another reader’s head.”
“You’re thinking about this particular skill all wrong,” he said as we walked down the sidewalk, cars whizzing past, ruining any hope of a peaceful walk. “I’m not inserting myself into your mind. I’m selectively allowing you into mine.”
“So you can… choose what I hear?”
“Yes, a slight perfection on the protection techniques you could learn.” He paused, looking down at his feet as he walked, hands jammed in his pockets. I didn’t need to read his mind to pick up on his inner turmoil. “If you decided to stay with us.”
I had to admit the idea was intriguing. But something still made me hold back. “I just can’t make that kind of commitment without knowing everything that’s involved. I think any normal person would feel the same way.”
“I suppose I’m not a normal person then,” he said, an edge to his voice.
“You expect me to believe that you just blindly put your fate into the hands of complete strangers?”
“Yes.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. He just kept walking, eyes trained straight ahead on something I didn’t see, mind totally closed to me. Finally, he looked over at a hobby shop we were walking past.
“There was one of these in the town where I grew up.”
The comment
totally caught me off guard, and I almost stumbled.
“I used to beg my mom to take me there every weekend, so I could get a new model car to build.” He smiled, obviously fond of the memory. “But she always made me wait until I had enough money saved to actually pay for it. That just made it all the better when I actually got to go in and pick something out.” He laughed. “They were having a sale this one time, and my mom had clipped a buy-one-get-one-free coupon so I got two. It was like Christmas.”
“I didn’t know you liked to build model cars.”
He nodded and walked on, staring at his feet.
Part of me wanted to stay in this moment with Owen. It felt special somehow, this glimpse of his life before. But another part of me yearned to know what lay before me. And I knew Owen could tell me.
“And how did it feel to isolate yourself from your mom for the Unseen?”
“I didn’t. She was already gone when I joined.”
Gone, I thought. What does that mean? He didn’t elaborate.
I threw up my hands, frustration taking over. I was tired of getting so close to real answers, then having the door slammed in my face. “Okay, this is ridiculous. You guys expect me to make some lifelong commitment without all the facts? Forget it. Go back home. I’m through. My career is worth more to me than this.” I did an about face and headed back toward my apartment, leaving him standing alone on the sidewalk. I imagined what his face would look like, totally crushed by my rejection, and I reveled in that image a little.
“Wait just a second.” He jogged to catch up with me, but I didn’t slow my pace or turn to look at him. He reached for my arm to stop me. “Mac, seriously. You can’t just walk away.”
“Watch me,” I said as I jerked my arm from him. “I’m sick of your secrets. It isn’t fair. You know all of mine, yet you keep everything from me—secrets about reading, secrets about the Unseen, even secrets about you. If you want me to be in, I need to know what ‘in’ means.”
Unseen Page 7