Chase nodded. "Really. Moriah's an amazing lady. She's offered to get the vaccine delivered."
"But for a price, right? Most Shielder colonies have no money to spare. How can we pay her?"
"Shhh." Leaning forward, Chase placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "Don't worry about that. You did your part. Sabin and I will take care of the rest. Besides, Sabin is in a special bargaining position with the lady."
She sank back, exhausted. Taking Chase's advice and not worrying about anything held a tremendous appeal right now. After a little nap, she'd think about all this new information. Cuddling the children closer, she had just closed her eyes when she heard the panel open.
"Nessa."
The familiar voice brought her instantly alert. Her brother stood by the bunk, looking incredibly handsome, the smile on his face brighter than a nova.
"Jarek!" She disengaged from the children, clumsily struggling to sit up. "Oh, Jarek."
He sank onto the bunk, gathering her to him for the second time in her entire life. She clung to him, heedless of her soreness. Vaguely, she was aware of the children scrambling out of the way.
"I thought we'd lost you," he grated. "If it hadn't been for Dr. McKnight, we would have. Thank the Spirit he was there."
"I thought I'd lost you, when I saw you at the prison," Nessa mumbled against his chest. "I was terrified. I begged Sabin to help, even though I didn't know if he could be trusted."
Jarek drew back to glance toward Sabin, his expression amused. "Imagine not trusting Travers. You, and about all the other women in the universe."
Sabin snorted and shook his head.
Nessa found her brother's attitude puzzling. "Of course I didn't trust him. He's a shadower."
"I've known san Travers a long time. He's obnoxious, but he can be trusted."
"You two know each other?" She looked from one to the other, amazed.
"Sure do," Sabin leaned against the wall, his legs crossed at the ankles. Raven pressed against his side, obviously comfortable with him. "Ranul and I have engaged in a few forays against the Controllers."
"He's also contributed a huge amount of gold to the cause," Jarek interjected, gently easing Nessa down.
"He has?" She looked back at Sabin. He shrugged and studied his nails. No doubt about it—there was more to the man than met the eye.
"He's a loyal Shielder," Jarek assured her.
Her thoughts whirled from sensory overload. "I don't know what to think about all this."
"We've all had a lot of surprises," Chase said dryly. She turned her head as he lifted Brand off his lap and stood. "Enough, I think, for one day. Nessa looks tired, and I want her to rest. You can visit her again tomorrow."
She hated to see them leave, but her eyelids were drooping.
"Good-bye, sister." Jarek leaned down and kissed her cheek.
The children scampered over for a hug. "Bye, Nessa," Raven said.
"Bye," Brand echoed.
Sabin surprised her with a quick kiss and a wink. "Don't forget you owe me." He held out his hands to Raven and Brand, and they took them without hesitation. "We'll come back tomorrow."
"Good-bye," she murmured drowsily.
She remained awake long enough to drink some broth and visit the lav, then collapsed back into the bunk. Her last conscious memory was of Chase covering her and running the scanner over her.
A physician, she thought. Imagine that….
CHAPTER TWENTY
Chase declared Nessa well enough to resume normal activities. She had free reign of the ship, and although she tired easily, she drew energy from the sheer exuberance of being alive.
The vaccine had been produced en masse, and Jarek and Sabin had taken it to a rendezvous point where Moriah's runners would pick it up. They wouldn't be given exact Shielder colony locations, so they'd deliver the vaccine at drop-off points. The Shielders would take it from there. Nessa's mission was drawing to a successful conclusion.
Now what? she wondered.
Jarek would be returning in a few days, and she guessed she'd travel to Liron with him. A part of her wanted to return, to see her home; also to see if her success had altered her status with her people. Another part of her yearned to remain with Chase.
A senseless, unrealistic hope. She had nothing to offer any man. She was still plain and thin—even thinner, since being ill; still deformed. He certainly hadn't shown any further interest in her, although he'd been civil enough.
He'd saved her life, taken care of her, hovered over her, insisting she rest and eat properly. But his actions had been those of a physician—professional, competent. His eyes never had that sexual, predatory expression when he’d looked at her. He hadn't kissed her, had made no advances of any kind.
Perhaps he'd never forgiven her for stealing his ship, yet he didn't seem angry about it. Heaviness settled around Nessa's heart. She needed to accept the obvious and move on. She planned on taking Raven and Brand to Liron with her. Surely Chase would agree they'd be best off in a Shielder colony.
Right now, the children were sound asleep in her old cabin. She continued to stay in Chase's quarters. He'd been sleeping there as well, on a nearby floor pallet.
Nessa looked around the familiar room. She'd miss this cabin, miss the memories here. She looked at the chair, the heat rising to her face. Don't think about it, she told herself. Stop wishing for the impossible to happen. With a sigh, she went to bathe. She'd also miss the unlimited electricity and water.
She took a long shower, the hot water easing some of her still-aching muscles. Finally, she shut off the water and stepped from the cleansing stall.
Her heart leaped wildly when she saw Chase lounging against the sink. He wore a thick robe, belted around his firm waist. The robe fell to his knees; his strong, muscular legs were bare below it.
Nessa stared at him dumbly, her heart still pounding.
"You took long enough," he said huskily. His gaze swept over her and she belatedly remembered her nude state.
She looked around and located her tunic, tossed carelessly by the panel. "I didn't know you were waiting to use the lav." She edged toward the panel.
He stepped between her and the panel. "I was waiting for you."
It was there, in his eyes—that predatory look. Her breath froze. "I—I— for me?"
He reached out and traced a trail of water tracking down her breast. She bit back a gasp as her breast swelled, the nipple puckering almost painfully. The water dripping from her hair and down her face reminded her she was soaking wet. "I need to dry off." Couldn't she think of anything better to say?
Chase's gaze moved slowly from her breasts to her face. Molten silver flames burned in his eyes. Unbelting his robe, he slid it off his shoulders. He wore nothing underneath, and her knees went weak at the sight of his powerful body—his very aroused, powerful body.
She staggered back as he stroked the robe against her arm. "Steady, now," he murmured. "I'm going to dry you off."
Unable to think clearly, she pressed her palms against the corner of the stall for support as Chase dried her. He did her arms, then her face, then blotted her hair. All the while his intense eyes burned into hers, until he lowered the robe to her breasts.
His attention moved to her nipples, and he rubbed them with the soft fabric. She moaned softly. Kneeling, he slid the robe to her legs, nudging them apart and bringing the robe up the inside.
Her legs trembled like leaves fluttering in the wind, and heat rushed through her lower abdomen. Swaying, she grabbed at the wall. When he moved the robe to the most acute source of her heat, she clutched blindly at his shoulders.
"Chase."
The robe fell to the floor and he slid a finger inside her. Lightning flashed through her. She cried out, her nails digging into his skin. With a groan, he pressed his lips to her belly.
"I want you," he grated out. "Now."
Her thoughts tailspinned. No time for wondering why, or even if she should. She wanted this—wanted him—desperately. "Y
es," she whispered.
Sweeping her into his arms, he carried her to the bunk. The covers were cool beneath her damp, fevered skin. Light from the lav filtered into the room, casting shadows on his face, taut with desire, as he lowered his mouth to her breast.
He kissed and licked away the remaining moisture from her skin, flowing down her body like Saija silk. Spirit, but she needed more, needed the bliss of Haven that only he could give her. The tremors rippling his body told her his need was just as great.
Caught in the throes of an uncontrollable urgency, she writhed beneath him. When he spread her legs and kissed her most private place, the intimacy and the utter pleasure stunned her.
She dug her fingers into his hair. "Chase!"
He slid over her, capturing her lips with his. Holding her face between his hands, he plundered her mouth, and she responded in a sensual duel of tongues. Groaning, he tore his mouth away.
"I can't wait any longer. I have to be inside you." Positioning himself, he entered her in one smooth stroke. She arched up to meet him.
He plunged deeply, driving both of them toward the precipice. So fierce was his possession, Nessa could only hold on and go where he took her. Hard and fast. Again and again.
High …So very high …
She cried out, her body jerked upward by a rush of sensation packing more force than a torpedo. Through the shockwaves, she felt Chase stiffen, heard his groan of release.
He collapsed with a ragged sigh. Limp and drained, Nessa welcomed his weight. A moment later, he rolled onto his back, pulling her against his side. His chest rose and fell rapidly beneath her cheek.
What had just happened? She was still too new and inexperienced in this arena to understand why Chase had mated with her. Perhaps uncontrollable lust, or a release from the stress of the past cycles. She didn't have a clue, although she wouldn't have traded the experience for anything.
"All you all right?" his voice rumbled beneath her ear.
She nodded her head. "Yes," she whispered. "Are you?"
He chuckled and stroked her back. "Oh, yes. Very much so. You're so soft."
He continued stroking her, and a pleasant lassitude stole over her. His body felt relaxed beneath her. It occurred to her this might be the perfect time to share her plans. Her stomach knotted at the thought, and the heaviness returned to her chest, but she had to tell him sooner or later. It might as well be now.
"Chase?"
"Hmmm?" His hand moved to cup her backside in a possessive manner.
Hot tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them back. "Jarek will be returning in a few cycles."
"Yes. So?"
She inhaled a quick breath, then said the words quickly. "I'm returning to Liron with him. I plan on taking Raven and Brand with me."
His hand jerked, his fingers digging painfully into her bottom. "No."
Panic swept her, stealing her breath. "But I must keep Raven and Brand with me! They need me. They're Shielders. They should be with other Sh—"
"No! Raven and Brand aren't leaving. Neither are you."
"But— What?"
Chase rolled her onto her back, taking her chin in his hand. A determined expression molded his face into stern lines. "Why did you mate with me tonight?"
Surprised, she tried to marshall her forces, which had scattered to the four corners of the quadrant. "W-what?"
"You just surrendered yourself to me, let me do whatever I wanted. Why? Did you hope to gain something from it?"
"Of course not." She paused, unwilling to bare her heart to any more pain. He didn't need to know she loved him, not when he didn't return that love.
His tawny eyebrows drew together. "No? Then let me ask you this. Why did you come to my cabin the night before you hijacked my ship? Was your seduction a tactic to distract me from your thievery?"
She bit her lip, staring into determined gray eyes. "No," she whispered, the memories of that night crumbling her resolve. "I—I thought I would never see you again. I thought it was our last chance to—to be together." She tried to turn her head away, but his grip on her chin tightened.
"I didn't think so. I did at first, when you took my ship. But the more I thought about it, I realized you had nothing to gain by mating with me that night. I was hell-bent on going to Odera, and that provided all the opportunity you needed."
He trailed a finger down her breast, circling the nipple, which beaded instantly. "I also realized your physical responses to me couldn't be faked. You wanted me, as badly as I wanted you."
Nessa closed her eyes. So, she wanted him. That probably stroked his ego to no end. "Lust is not enough," she murmured.
"At first, I thought physical attraction might be all there was between us. But then, when I thought you were slipping away from me …" He shuddered. "If I had lost you…"
She opened her eyes, her attention fully riveted on him. Emotion glittered in his eyes. "My life would have been plunged into darkness."
She stared at him, not comprehending. "Why?"
A tender smile curved his sensuous mouth. "Because I love you, Leonessa dan Ranul. That's why."
Her illness must have affected her hearing. "What?" she asked lamely.
His hand cradled the side of her face. "I love you. You are not going to Liron with Jarek. You're not going anywhere. As soon as you're completely recovered, we're getting married. I don't care how—Shielder lifemate vows, Elysian orgy, Shen joining ritual—doesn't matter to me."
Shock dulled her reaction. Maybe she was hallucinating. Maybe this was really Haven after all.
"Blazing hells," Chase growled. "Don't just stare at me like I'm an Antek. Answer me."
He loved her? "A-answer what?" she stammered.
His expression grew thunderous. "Will you marry me? You can't tell me you don't feel something for me. Not after tonight."
A flush spread through her body. "Well…Umm, I do."
Chase scowled. "You do what?"
Please don't let this be a dream. She forced air into her lungs and turned her heart loose. "I love you."
A smug smile spread across his face. "And?"
"I'll marry you, if you're sure you want someone like me."
She found herself crushed against his chest. "Nessa, Nessa. You're beautiful, caring, and brave."
"I already told you. I'm not brave."
"Yes, you are, remarkably courageous. I'm the coward."
Incredulous, she pushed away to look at him. "You? You're a shadower. You've hunted some of the most dangerous criminals in the universe. You're one of the bravest men I know."
His expression turned pensive, and sadness filled his eyes. "You’re wrong about that. Facing my feelings terrified me. I didn't want to feel the pain, so I buried it. To keep it at bay, I turned to hatred instead. My only focus for the past three seasons has been hunting down Dansan and her goons."
Compassion and a strong yearning to hold him in her arms and comfort him pooled in Nessa's heart. "What did she do to you?"
Chase sank back, pulling her against his side again. "Not just to me—to an entire people. It's a long story, but I want you to hear it. I may have assumed too much. You might not want to marry me after you know about my failures."
Her fingers tightened on his chest in protest, but he continued on. His voice sounded far away, almost as if he were entering another time and place.
"Dansan was a brilliant physiopathologist and geophysicist. She approached the leaders of my colony on Torin with a plan to speed up the mining of iridon. She had developed a chemical process that would remove the top layers of shale rapidly, without damaging the iridon beneath. Until then, it had taken months to mine even a modest amount of iridon.
She proposed to share the process and oversee the operation, for an even split of the iridon. She convinced our leaders of her integrity, and they agreed. Then she betrayed us."
He paused, tension emanating from him. "She developed a deadly virus—Ramos, we called it—and dumped it into Torin's water
supply."
Nessa gasped, horror slithering through her.
"Everyone in the colony at the time caught the disease—everyone but me. I didn't drink the community water, because I had a supply of Merlain spring water."
He drew a ragged breath. "The virus raged through the colony. It was merciless, inflicting terrible suffering before death occurred. The sick and the dying were everywhere. I tried to formulate an antidote, but the Ramos kept mutating. In the end
. . ." His voice broke and his grip on Nessa's shoulder tightened.
She could feel his pain, could imagine what he must have gone through. Tears filled her eyes and tracked down her cheeks. "Oh, Chase."
"In the end," he continued hoarsely, "they all died. I couldn't save anyone. All my medical training was worthless. I failed them all."
Nessa put her arms around him. "How horrible. But it wasn't your fault. Surely you know that."
He was silent a long moment. "I kept thinking if only I'd known more about viruses, if only I'd stayed calmer instead of panicking, if only I'd been able to get one jump ahead of the Ramos. If only I could have saved someone."
"You blamed yourself. So you turned your back on healing, and became a shadower instead."
"Yeah." Chase held her tightly. "Dansan and her soldiers took as much iridon as they could transport and escaped to this quadrant. The only way I could pursue them without interference was to apply for a shadower entitlement, which I did. I picked up other wanted criminals here and there to keep from drawing suspicion. They were space scum anyway, and didn't need to be terrorizing innocent people."
Nessa lifted her head to look at him wonderingly. "You turned away from healing. But you treated my seizures and my shoulder. You gave me medicine. And you examined the children. Why?"
He wiped the dampness from her cheeks, a rueful expression on his face. "I tried to stay away from medicine. I hated entering the ship lab. Then you came along with that damned lanrax, and I found myself in there more and more. Then you brought Raven and Brand on board, and I worried they might be carrying disease or parasites. It became harder and harder to avoid medicine."
"Then I got the Orana and you saved my life," she said softly. "You even created a vaccine against it."
Shielder — A new Science Fiction Romance (Book 1, Shielder Series) Page 25