Mr. Hinkle got to talking right away. “Lydia, there’s something I didn’t tell the rest of the class that you need to know about Julia—I mean, Miss Parker.” He looked at her.
“I’m a lawyer, Lydia,” Miss Parker said.
“A lawyer?” I said real soft. “But I thought lawyers was all menfolk.”
She smiled at me, a real nice, gentle-like smile. “Most of them are, Lydia. But women can achieve their dreams, too, if they’re willing to work hard for them.”
Mr. Hinkle smiled at her, and then he turned to look at me. “Lydia, when I told Miss Parker what you said about—”
“You told her what I said?” I felt tears filling up my eyes.
“You need to understand that I thought—”
“You told her what I said.” I turned my face away from him and shut my eyes. Some tears rolled down my face. I started to reach into my bobby sock. Then I figured out I didn’t want Mr. Hinkle’s handkerchief touching my face no more.
Miss Parker tried to take my hand. “Lydia, I—”
I pulled my hand away from her. She didn’t try to take it again. “All right, Lydia,” she said. “I know you’re hurt and angry. Sam—your teacher—did the right thing by talking to me. He thought maybe I could help your mother, and he might be right.”
I didn’t look at them, and I still didn’t say nothing. I had done gone and disgraced my uncle and aunt real bad this time. And they planned to take me to Charleston and get me a new coat and everthing. And I already knowed all about lawyers. Ain’t no lawyer going to help my mama get out of jail. They just make things a heap worse.
“You have to trust me—both of us, Lydia—if we’re going to do anything for your mother,” Miss Parker said.
“Lydia, look at me,” Mr. Hinkle said. I kept my head turned away and my eyes shut tight. “Look at me!” he said again, a little louder this time. I kept my head down, but I looked up at him. “I know you must feel like I’ve betrayed you, but I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. I care about you. You know that, don’t you?”
I nodded—just a little. Miss Parker smiled when I done that—just a little.
“Lydia, tell me again what your dream is,” Mr. Hinkle said.
I didn’t say nothing.
“Tell me your dream,” he said louder.
I didn’t say nothing. He scooted his chair up closer to me.
“Tell me your dream!” he said as loud as that preacher at Uncle William’s church.
“To get my mama out of jail!” I said, real mean-like, looking him right in the eye. Then I started up crying. I reached down and got Mr. Hinkle’s handkerchief out of my bobby sock and wiped my face with it. He smiled at me when I done that.
Miss Parker reached over and took my hand again. I didn’t pull away this time. Her hand felt all soft, like Mama’s. When I kept on crying, she put her arm around me, and I leaned against her shoulder. “I miss Mama so much,” I told them.
“This has all been so horrible for you, Lydia. But you’ve been incredibly strong,” Miss Parker told me. “I know you’re going to find the strength to do what else needs to be done.”
But my mama was in jail because I was so weak. I knowed that her and Mr. Hinkle would be terrible ashamed of me when they found out. And then Mr. Hinkle asked me the question I was most afeared of.
“Lydia, can you tell us what happened at that trial?”
I bit my lip and didn’t say nothing. I just shook my head no.
“Lydia, I know this is hard for you,” Miss Parker said. “But this is for your mother. You must talk to us.”
“But I ain’t supposed to,” I choked out.
“Who told you that, Lydia?” Mr. Hinkle asked.
“My uncle and aunt. They said they done been disgraced enough already. They said I best forget all about it and get on with my life.”
Mr. Hinkle and Miss Parker looked at each another. Miss Parker sighed and shook her head. Mr. Hinkle looked back at me and said, “I’ve met your aunt and uncle. I know they’re good people and want to do what’s right for you. The problem is that they’ve given up hope. You haven’t, Lydia—that’s why you still carry this dream. And Miss Parker and I haven’t given up hope either.”
“How come?” I asked.
“Lydia, when I first read about your mother’s case in the paper and saw what they had accused her of—” Miss Parker began.
“Child ’dangerment and kidnapping across state lines,” I said softly for her. I rememorized them words.
“Yes, Lydia, child endangerment, which means causing serious danger to a child, and kidnapping, which means taking a child away from the people who are supposed to be taking care of that child. Anyway, if I were BJ’s mother, I would have done what your mother did.
“I thought surely she would be acquitted—cleared of the charges,” Miss Parker went on. “I was enraged when I found out she had been found guilty. I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it, though, until Sam—Mr. Hinkle—told me about talking to you. Lydia, I must know the whole story from you before I can decide if I can help. You need to understand that sometimes the real disgrace is not talking when the truth needs to be told.”
I started up crying again. “I know that real good,” I said, “ ’cause that’s what I done to my mama.”
“Tell us about it, Lydia,” Mr. Hinkle said.
I swallowed hard. “We didn’t have us no money, so they gived us this lawyer-man for free,” I told her. “Uncle William said that man might as well been working for them big-city doctors. Excepten Uncle William used some bad words when he said it.”
“Why did your uncle say that?” Miss Parker asked.
“That lawyer-man—he kept on a-looking at his papers like he didn’t study up on us at all. He couldn’t even recollect Mama and BJ’s names without glancing at them sheets.”
Miss Parker sighed. “Some of those court-appointed lawyers are excellent and caring. Others border on incompetent, which means they have no clue what they’re doing. It sounds as though the one you had did more than sit on the border. He should not be allowed to practice. Lydia, do you know what I mean by witnesses?” Miss Parker asked.
“Yes, ma’am. The folks who done spoke for or against my mama. They kept on saying, ‘Next witness,’ and ‘Your witness.’ ”
“How about testify and giving a testimony?”
“Folks do that in our church. That’s when you tell about something that happened to you that God helped you with.”
“That’s right. In the courtroom, it means telling the truth about anything that happened to you that might shed some light on whether someone is innocent or guilty of a crime. Who did your mother’s lawyer call as witnesses, Lydia?”
I bit my lip and looked down at my shoes. “Me and Uncle William and Aunt Ethel Mae.”
“No one else?”
“No, ma’am.”
Miss Parker sighed real big. “All right, Lydia. I need you to tell me what happened when you were called to testify.”
Big ol’ tears started falling out of my eyes.
“You can do this, Lydia,” Mr. Hinkle said.
My voice was choky, but I pushed the words out. “When I first went into that big room full of all them people, I felt right afeared. Then I saw my mama sitting up front. I called out to her and started to run over to see her. But Uncle William grabbed me by the shoulder. He told me I couldn’t go up there. I had to sit with him and Aunt Ethel Mae.”
Miss Parker had some tears in her eyes. “I know, Lydia. They have some rules that are really hard to understand sometimes. What happened next?”
“This man in a big black robe—they called him a judge—he come in and everbody had to stand up. Then this other lawyer—not my mama’s lawyer—he got up and said awful things about Mama. He said she murdered my brother, BJ, by taking him out of that hospital. I wanted to stand up and say, ‘No she didn’t neither!’
“Uncle William looked real mad, too. But he held on
to my arm tight, and I knowed I couldn’t say nothing. And all Mama’s lawyer said—he read it from his paper—was that Mama didn’t understand what she was a-doing. But Mama knowed what she was a-doing. She brought BJ home so he could die with his kin.”
“I believe you, Lydia,” Miss Parker said. “Then what happened?”
“I started up crying real hard, thinking about them telling all them lies about my mama. Uncle William told me to hush up, but I couldn’t. Then that judge-man said, ‘Somebody get that child out of here.’ A woman in a black uniform come over and told me to go with her. I didn’t want to, but Uncle William made me.”
“Where did she take you, Lydia?”
“We went to this little room with a desk and some chairs. It had a radio in it, and she said I could listen to the radio iffen I wanted. I didn’t want to. I asked her iffen I couldn’t go back in to be with my mama, but she said no. She said they would take me back in there later.”
“Oh, Lydia,” Miss Parker said, “you must have been so frightened and confused.”
I nodded. “When the lady come back in, she said the hospital’s lawyer was done talking to people, and now they was a-taking a break. Then it would be Mama’s lawyer’s turn, and he’d call me to go up there to speak first. She said iffen I didn’t start up crying and making noise no more, I could sit with my uncle again when I got done.”
“So then you were called as a witness,” Miss Parker said.
“Yes, ma’am. I was afeared to talk in front of all them people, but I knowed I had to speak up for my mama. I wanted to tell them folks how much my mama loved BJ and how them doctors didn’t.”
“That would have been good for people to know, Lydia,” Miss Parker said.
“Some man with a big voice said, ‘The defense calls Lydia Jane Hawkins.’ My heart beat so fast and hard I thought it might pop right out of my chest. My legs was all shaky like that green Jell-O we got at the cafeteria in BJ’s hospital. I weren’t too sure I could make it up there. But then Mama turned around and smiled at me. She looked so beautiful, just like always. I wanted to run to her again so I could hug her and smell her hair. But I just smiled back and told my legs to keep walking.”
“You were very brave, Lydia,” Mr. Hinkle said.
The tears started up again when he said that. I wiped at them with the handkerchief. “So I got up to the front, and the man with the big voice told me to put my left hand on the Bible and hold up my right hand, so I did. But I felt real puzzled. This weren’t no church. How come he told me to put my hand on a Bible? And then he said some words that I rememorized when he said them to my uncle and aunt when it was their turn—real scary words.”
“What words did he say, Lydia?” Miss Parker asked.
I repeated them words for Miss Parker and Mr. Hinkle. “Do you solemnly swear before almighty God, the seeker of all hearts, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, as you will so answer on that last great day?”
Miss Parker and Mr. Hinkle looked at one another. Mr. Hinkle whistled and shook his head. “What did you do, Lydia?”
“I knowed you ain’t suppose to swear on the Bible. Gran and Pastor John both taught me that real good. So I pulled my hand away and took a couple of steps back. All the words I planned to say about my mama got choked up inside my throat. That judge-man said, ‘The child is obviously not competent to be a witness. Have her step down.’
“When I walked back to my seat, I saw Mama mouth ‘I love you, Lydia’ and ‘It’s okay.’ I held back crying on account of I didn’t want that judge-man to send me back to that room.”
“Oh, Lydia,” Miss Parker said.
“I know you must be mighty ashamed of me. I should of spoke up for my mama, even iffen God got real mad at me for swearing on that Bible.” I started sobbing.
Miss Parker and Mr. Hinkle both patted me on the back, real soft-like. Then Mr. Hinkle left the room. “No, Lydia, we are not ashamed of you,” Miss Parker said. “We understand why you did what you did. I’m ashamed of and angry at that lawyer of your mother’s. He should have told you what would happen during the trial. Now, I know this is hard, and I know you’re tired. But I need to ask you a few more questions. Do you think you can answer them?”
Mr. Hinkle comed back in with a cup of water. I nodded to Miss Parker, and then I drunk the water.
“What happened when your uncle and aunt were called as witnesses?” Miss Parker asked.
“Uncle William got all mad when them lawyers started asking him questions. That judge-man kept on threatening to throw him in jail iffen he didn’t settle down. And Aunt Ethel Mae pretty much just cried when her turn comed up.
“When they finished up with Uncle William and Aunt Ethel Mae, them lawyers talked to the people that would decide what happened to Mama. That judge-man told us all to go out while them people figured it out. When he called us back, them folks had up and decided the wrong thing. They believed Mama killed BJ, and Mama had to go to prison. I cried and tried to run to Mama, but Uncle William grabbed me. ‘You can’t, Lydia,’ he said without looking at me. Them guards took Mama away. She just hung her head. Me and Aunt Ethel Mae held on to each other and cried. Even Uncle William wiped his eyes.”
None of us said nothing for a time. Then Miss Parker spoke. “Lydia, there are a couple of other things I need to know. Did your doctor or pastor from West Virginia testify?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Do you remember telling Sam about the lady who told your mother not to read those papers before she signed them?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Do you remember what she looked like? Do you think you could pick her out of a group of people?”
“Yes, ma’am. I rememorize things real good.”
Mr. Hinkle looked at her. “That’s true, Julia. Lydia has an extraordinary memory.”
“Yes, I can tell from what’s she’s told us already. It’s quite remarkable.”
I smiled real big when they said them things about me.
Miss Parker smiled. “That’s excellent Lydia. Now, I understand your uncle was also in the room when that woman said not to read the papers. Is that true?”
“Yes, ma’am. He got in a big huff about it.”
“Lydia,” Miss Parker said. “I think I can help your mother, but I’ll need you to be a witness again. Can you do that?”
I kept thinking about what happened the last time. I felt real dizzy. “I don’t know.”
“We realize it will be difficult,” Mr. Hinkle said. “But Miss Parker and I believe you can do this.”
“But that judge said I wasn’t competent. I asked Uncle William what that word meant after Mama went to jail. He said, ‘That fool of a judge was a-saying you wasn’t smart enough to speak about your own mother.’ ”
“Oh, come on, now, Lydia,” Mr. Hinkle said. “We all know that’s not true.” He winked at me.
I grinned at him. But then I got all tight inside again. “I want to do this for my mama, but I’m still afeared I won’t be able to.”
“Will you try, Lydia?” Miss Parker asked.
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll try.”
“That’s all we can ask.”
“But, Miss Parker—”
“Yes, Lydia.”
“My mama and me, well, we ain’t got—I mean, we don’t have much money. I know lawyers cost lots of money excepten when the judge gives you one. I heard Uncle William say he wished he could afford to get a good one for Mama. I got me seventy-two cents saved up in a jar in my dresser drawer to call Mama. You can have that. And Uncle William and Aunt Ethel Mae was—I mean, were—planning on buying me a new coat tomorrow. Maybe I could ask them to give me that money to give to you.”
Miss Parker patted my hand. “Don’t worry about that, Lydia. Sometimes lawyers take cases they believe are important pro bono—that means free of charge. Assuming your mother agrees, we’re going to do an appeal, which means we are going to tell the judge why the first trial was unfair to yo
ur mother. I hope the judge agrees so she can get another trial. If this thing turns out the way I think it will, someday soon your mother’s coming home.”
Then Miss Parker hit her fist on Mr. Hinkle’s desk. “On top of that, we’re going to sue that hospital for telling your mother to sign the papers without reading them and having her questions answered. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that hospital doesn’t treat anyone the way it treated your mother. If everything turns out the way I hope it will, your mother is going to have more money than she’s ever had.”
I didn’t care so much about the money, but I sure liked hearing them words “coming home.”
22
It’s about telling Uncle William and Aunt Ethel Mae.
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1953
A lot of things sure have changed since I talked to Mr. Hinkle and Miss Parker. On the way home from school yesterday, I stopped to pat that big brown dog down the street. Him and me is friends now. I call him Ears on account of him having one big ear that sticks straight up on the right side, and another big ear that folds over like it’s half asleep on the other side. I don’t know what name his master calls him, but he seems to like Ears just fine.
I told Ears I couldn’t figure out iffen I should tell my uncle and aunt that I went and disgraced them again by talking to Mr. Hinkle and Miss Parker. Ears turned his head sideways, a-listening real close to me. His eyes stared into mine. “You’re right, Ears. I need to recollect what Mama taught me. ‘Do the right thing, and everthing else will fall into place.’ It’s kind of confusing, though. You know what I mean? Me and Mama done the right thing about BJ, and that sure ain’t fell into place.” I sighed a big sigh. Ears licked my face. He knowed just exactly what I meant.
Miss Parker said it was up to me to decide. I could tell Uncle William and Aunt Ethel Mae, or she would tell them after she talked to Mama. When I was done talking it out with Ears, I knowed what I needed to do.
When I got home, I told Aunt Ethel Mae I would make supper and do the dishes all by myself and she could rest, even though I sure felt terrible wore out from spilling all them secrets to Mr. Hinkle and Miss Parker. But I knowed I best get Aunt Ethel Mae in a good mood. “Thank you kindly, Lydia,” she said. “I have been feeling a smidgen under the weather today.”
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