He frowned. He brooded. He turned about on the stool so that he faced away from her, lost in his own thoughts. At last he seemed to reach a decision and met her gaze.
"My sister…" he began, "Athena is not like you. She has lost the kind of freedom you enjoy, and the ability to protect herself. She is vulnerable in body and in spirit. And she is that way because of me."
"What do you mean, because of you?"
"She was in an accident." He lowered his eyes, scuffing at the straw with the heels of his boots. "It happened in the mountains, during winter. We were at Long Park, and I—In those days, I had a tendency to be foolish. Reckless." He sighed. "I got myself into trouble. Athena believed she could save me. She was caught in an avalanche that did severe damage to her legs. The doctor told us she would never walk again."
Caitlin bit her lip. This man who spoke with such regret and shame was not the same whose arrogance had annoyed her and infuriated Morgan. She could scarcely believe that he had confided so much to her, of all people. Or was it because she was so different, so far outside the boundaries of his rarified circle, that she was a safe recipient for such a confession?
Guilt could drive a man to horrible acts. It certainly gave Niall reason to regard his sister as a fragile China doll, an heirloom kept high on a shelf, admired but never touched.
And perhaps it even explained why he had been moved to agree to Athena's scheme, and came to see Caitlin now. Her injury reminded him too much of his sister's, but this time he had a chance to make it come out right.
Caitlin had a very strong desire to reach out and touch him. She knew it would be a mistake. Pity, even sympathy, he would tolerate no better than Morgan. Were they so much alike, after all?
What sort of guilt made Morgan doubt his own worth, and drove him away from Athena?
"I am sorry," she said, meaning it. "But Athena is stronger than you know. She does not blame you, I am certain of it."
"Her heart is generous by nature. And that is why she is in that chair." Niall snatched up his hat and got to his feet. "Now you understand why Morgan Holt must stay away from her."
No, I do not understand, she thought. There is something you are leaving out, my friend. Something more you will not admit.
"I think you're wrong," she said. "I know you are."
He pushed his hat onto his head with unnecessary force. "The decision has been made. You and the circus will go to Long Park, and Athena will remain here. She has plenty to keep her busy all winter."
"And you?"
He glanced back at her from the tent door. "I will see that you have everything you require. Good-bye, Miss Hughes."
Caitlin closed her eyes and listened to him stride away. Well, now it was in the open. Her feelings had proven correct once again—about Morgan, and Athena, and Niall Munroe.
The only opinion she had not yet heard was Athena's. And that wouldn't be easy, if Niall resolved to keep his sister in Denver.
If there was one thing Caitlin loved dearly, it was a challenge. Niall was the biggest challenge she had ever faced. Doubtless he was rich because he was ruthless, and seldom failed to get his way. He was the kind of man who wouldn't hesitate to crush a rival.
But he was only human. He had weaknesses. And Caitlin Hughes, once her mind was made up, could be a very formidable opponent.
I give you fair warning, my stubborn friend. This is a game I intend to win.
The next five weeks were the longest of Athena's life. It should have been a busy time, far too busy to allow for loneliness or daydreaming. The Winter Ball was drawing closer, and she was bound and determined that this second annual ball would be the finest and most well-attended of any in Denver that year.
Athena had frequently seen Cecily Hockensmith, but a good deal less of her own brother. Niall was constantly off on some business or other; currently he was in Chicago and had telegraphed to say that he expected to remain there through the end of the month. Caitlin's prediction that he would relent and allow Athena to visit the ranch did not come true.
Nevertheless, she took advantage of his absence by throwing herself with even more energy into the work he had disapproved: visiting the slums and tenements with clothing and coal, personally speaking to the forgotten girls with their fatherless babes, purchasing beds and school supplies for the orphans, and devising new charitable schemes that would reach far into the future. She drove the other ladies of her several philanthropic organizations almost as ruthlessly as she did herself.
It was never quite enough. Any stray, quiet moment, and her thoughts fled across the Front Range and to the ranch where she had spent every summer as a girl. Before she fell asleep each night, the image of a certain face seemed to shimmer in the air above her: thick black hair, golden eyes that sang to her of wild dashes by moonlight, a sensuous mouth promising more forbidden kisses.
At such times, she felt strange, phantom sensations below her waist, just as she had when Morgan visited her room. But she always managed to banish such fantasies, and remind herself that she missed all of the troupers: Harry, Caitlin, Ulysses, even those men and women she hardly knew. Morgan had no solitary claim on her affection.
Yet Morgan had smiled at her. That dreadful day of the performance, when everything had fallen apart, he had granted her courage with that simple expression and the unexpected warmth of his gaze.
Now he was thirty miles to the west, behind a wall of hills and mountains. Those mountains were already coated with snow, and soon the pass to Long Park would be all but impenetrable for the winter.
Ensconced in her sitting room late on a late November evening, wrapped in a woolen shawl against a chill that even the bountiful fire could not dispel, Athena eagerly unfolded the letter she had saved to read at the end of the day. It, like the others that came faithfully twice a week, was from Harry French.
Harry had made himself chief chronicler of all the events at Long Park, of Caitlin's condition, and of the doings of the troupers. Each time Athena opened one of his missives, she forced herself to read through slowly, refusing to jump ahead. She did the same tonight.
My Dear Miss Athena, the letter began,
You will be delighted to know that because of your brother's munificence and your own great kindness, we are all prospering at Long Park. As I wrote previously, the animals are well settled in the barn, which your brother had prepared for us; the rooms in the main house, and the accommodations in the bunkhouse, are indeed most praiseworthy. We could not ask for better.
Our small performance for the ranch workers met with great approval by your men, who at first seemed somewhat suspicious of us; they have since gone out of their ways to make us feel welcome. The victuals are plentiful, the fires blazing, and the mood merry. We lack only one thing—your own dear presence.
Caitlin asks after you constantly. She is very brave and does not admit any pain, but I must be frank and confess that I fear for her; there are times when the look in her eye does not bode well for her future. I wonder if she has not already given up hope of resuming her former activities. They have always been so important to her.
Athena dropped the letter in her lap. This was not good news. Not good at all. Harry had only hinted at a certain resignation in Caitlin's aspect, but until now had not said that the equestrienne might be abandoning hope.
Heaven forbid that should happen. Caitlin could not, must not lose what Athena had lost.
However, I beg you not to worry, dear Patroness. We will stand by her as we have always done, and refuse to grant her surrender. Either I, Ulysses, or Morgan—
Morgan. Athena swallowed and paused to catch her breath before resuming.
—or Morgan are with her at every hour and keep her mind from such unproductive musings. We follow the doctor's instructions precisely. We have taken advantage of your kindness and read to her from books in your library, and Morgan brings her small gifts from outdoors: withered leaves and evergreen boughs or colored stones from the stream. Caitlin seems to enjoy them, and they lift
her melancholy for a short while.
Gifts from Morgan. Athena smiled, recognizing in such simple gestures his reluctant generosity. Morgan cared for Caitlin as he would for a sister. He guarded her from every harm. How much more would he do for a woman he chose as his…
Quiet, she commanded her heart. Be quiet.
Morgan spends a great deal of time roaming the park, even in the most inclement weather. You know, of course, that such small inconveniences as bitter temperatures have little effect upon him. He is careful to conceal his dual nature from the ranch hands, but when he is not with Caitlin his restlessness is almost alarming. We have on occasion feared that he might leave and not return. He has repaid any debt he ever owed us, but we have continued to hope that he will choose to remain as one of our family.
As if the piercing mountain winds had reached across the miles and into her home, Athena pulled her shawl closer and rang the bell on the small table beside her. Brinkley appeared, and at her request he sent for a chambermaid to add more coal to the fire in the grate. Even after the flames leaped up with renewed vigor, Athena took no comfort in them.
Harry would not speak of Morgan leaving unless he felt it was a very real possibility. Surely Morgan would stay until Caitlin was on her feet again; surely he would inform Athena of such an intention, if only to say good-bye.
It was too much to hope that he would write as Harry did. Too much to ask that he send some personal message to her, when there was nothing tangible between them save for a shared secret and a stolen kiss.
Athena scanned the rest of the letter, barely registering the words, and tucked the folded paper inside her shawl. For a while she laid her head back against the chair and let the emotions rush through her, tumbling like a spring-swollen creek that carried rock and branch and earth inexorably before it.
When the deluge was over, only one consideration remained in her heart. Whatever Morgan might do, however he chose to regard her, he was not her principal concern. Caitlin was. Caitlin, on the brink of surrendering to the despair that had once nearly claimed Athena's spirit.
If there was a single action Athena could take to prevent that from happening, she must attempt it. Even if it meant breaking her word, defying Niall, and leaving last-minute particulars of the Winter Ball undone for several days. No one else could understand Caitlin's situation better than she. No one else could advise, coax, and bully with greater authority.
Cecily Hockensmith had been unstinting with her company and assistance with the ball. She could be entrusted with any details that must be addressed during Athena's absence.
Once the idea coalesced in Athena's mind, the practical impediments presented themselves in swift succession. As much as she liked and trusted Brinkley, Fran, Romero, and the others, she did not wish to involve the servants in her insubordination; she must make preparations and arrange transportation to Long Park without alerting them beforehand. Fortunately, her dealings with the charities gave her ideas about where she might discreetly employ a sturdy wagon and skilled driver.
However, she would require Fran's help with dressing and getting downstairs. Athena had not been forbidden to leave the house, and Fran wouldn't question her if she pretended to be going on another clandestine excursion to the tenements. If she lied to Fran, the maid would have an excuse for unwittingly assisting in her escape.
Athena was forced to admit that she was a little bit afraid of where this open defiance might lead. Niall had made his position very clear. But she had succeeded in winning him over before, and could do so again.
Cecily might help her in that as well. With the deed a fait accompli and Cecily taking Athena's part, Niall could not be entirely unreasonable.
This is for Caitlin. Niall's anger is a small price to pay for her recovery.
And Morgan Holt had absolutely nothing to do with it.
She consulted her watch and saw that it was not yet too late to send a message to Cecily, asking her to come first thing in the morning. Just as she rang for Brinkley, he stepped into the room poised to make an announcement.
"Miss Hockensmith has called, Miss Munroe," he said. "I told her I would inquire if you were at home."
"Yes. Yes indeed, please show her in directly."
He bowed and went to do her bidding. Regretting the rather shabby nature of the old shawl, Athena pushed it farther down her shoulders and assumed a welcoming smile. Cecily glided into the room, brushing a bit of snow from her coat, and came to take Athena's hand.
"Ah, Athena. What miserable weather! I fear that winter has come." She allowed Brinkley to remove her coat. "I realize that it is late, but I so regretted not being able to see you today. You know how very dull Mrs. Coghill's dinners are, but I could not refuse her invitation."
"Of course not," Athena said. "Will you not sit down? Some tea, perhaps?"
"I do not believe that I could swallow another drop," Cecily said, sinking gracefully into a chair. "And how are you today, my dear girl? You have not worked too hard, I hope?"
Athena was in no mood for small talk when her mind was thrumming with plans. She dismissed Brinkley and waited until he had shut the sitting room door behind him. "Cecily… I have a great favor to ask of you."
"Indeed?" Cecily leaned forward. "Pray, tell me."
"I have decided to take a short excursion to the mountains. While I am gone, I would be most honored if you would assume final preparations for the Winter Ball."
"An excursion?" A faint shadow marred Cecily's alabaster brow. "Why would you wish to visit the mountains at such a—" Her expression cleared. "Athena, you cannot mean to go to the ranch."
"Yes. I have received correspondence from Harry French which suggests that Miss Hughes is not recovering as swiftly as we might wish. I feel that I must offer my friendship and every encouragement at this crucial time, which I cannot do here." She met Cecily's stare without apology. "I am aware that Niall does not wish me to go, but Miss Hughes's condition outweighs such personal considerations. I am sure you understand."
Cecily tugged at the fingertips of her white kid gloves. "I am afraid that I must advise against it, my dear. Not only is it likely to upset your brother, but this is hardly the time of year for such travel. And how would you go? You cannot drive yourself."
"I don't intend to. I can arrange everything, if you will agree not to speak of this to my brother until I am back in Denver."
"Isn't Mr. Munroe in Chicago?"
"Yes, and he is not to return until the day of the ball. I will be safely home in good time." Athena clenched her hands in her lap. "I know that you are very fond of my brother, Cecily. It is possible that you may hear from him. That is why I request that you say nothing of this beforehand. No harm will be done by it."
Cecily sighed and took on a pensive air. "You know that I am your friend, dear Athena, but I do not feel quite comfortable in deceiving your brother. And I must be concerned for you, as well. Even if you take your maid—"
"I will be going alone. I do not wish to involve the servants, though of course they will know where I am."
"I see."
It was obviously time to bargain. Athena had some familiarity with the method, for she had used persuasion many times when soliciting the sometimes reluctant contributions of the lions—and lionesses—of Denver society. She was sorry for the need to manipulate Cecily, but what she intended to say was not very far from the truth.
"It is a great deal to ask," she admitted, "and I abhor deception just as much as you do. But in many ways I have come to think of you as a sister. I consider it an excellent sign that my brother is not so much alone as he has been in the past."
Her gentle hint did not go unnoticed. Cecily straightened, and her eyes took on a certain gleam.
"I am flattered that you think so, Athena." She lowered her gaze. "I… I fear I have not been particularly successful in concealing my affection for Mr. Munroe."
Athena relaxed. "My brother can be quite stubborn, but he is blessed with many fine qua
lities. I will keep your assistance in this matter between the two of us, and Niall will know only of your tireless work for charity and the constancy of your friendship."
Cecily was quiet for several minutes, and Athena wondered if perhaps she had gone too far in suggesting the bribe of her influence with Niall. He had shown more attention to Cecily than he did most women, and a good word or two on Athena's part might make the difference.
Athena wondered why she had not more actively encouraged Niall to consider Cecily as a wife. She had recognized the possibility of it from the beginning of her acquaintance with the older woman—she had seen Cecily's strong interest in Niall—yet she hadn't pursued the scheme in spite of the advantages.
Niall could not be driven, in any case, and heaven help the woman who tried. The girl he chose to love must be far stronger than his sister was.
"Are you quite sure that you feel comfortable leaving the ball in my hands?"
Cecily's voice startled Athena back to attention. "I have no doubts whatsoever. Your taste and experience are impeccable."
"But if there are sudden changes—if alterations must be made—"
"Then I know that you will do just the right thing." Athena glanced at the clock on the mantel, impatient to have this over and done with so that she could begin planning for the trip.
"When did you intend to depart?" Cecily asked.
"The day after tomorrow, at dawn," she said, making a quick decision. "Will you help me, Cecily?"
"I will do all that I can." Cecily rose and shook out her skirts. "My carriage is waiting. I must be getting home."
"Of course." Athena released a quiet breath. "Is there anything you need to know about the ball? I will inform the necessary parties that you have complete authority, and additional expenses can be deferred until my return, but if there is anything else…"
The older woman smiled. "I have observed your work carefully for the past few months, my dear. I believe I can act as your deputy with all due efficiency." She paused at the door. "Take great care. I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen to you."
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