She turns around, my drink in her hand and says, “And she came up with the idea of the pegging media story to save the show?”
“That was all my father’s idea.”
Chapter 29
Elsie
I cradle Xander’s drink in my hand, considering his words. It all makes sense now, his wanting to find his real self and a real life. Nothing in his life has ever sounded remotely normal and my heart is heavy because of it.
He deserved so much more. I want to throw myself around him and make him forget the world.
He makes me hate his family, and I’ve never even met them. I can’t say that I ever want to meet them, either. Although I’m not sure about Luna. I haven’t figured out if she’s good or bad for Xander.
She clearly means a lot to him, and it’s eating him up that he hasn’t been able to make her see her self-worth and protect her from his creepy father. But I can’t help thinking that she isn’t looking out for him in the same way.
She should’ve sided with Xander against his dad and definitely not said all that stuff about him in the media.
“Your father convinced Luna to go public with the sex stories?” I ask, forcing down my outrage.
“He convinced her it would boost her ratings and save her show, but I know he really suggested it as a way to punish me.” Xander’s eyes are heavy and his shoulders slumped.
“And you agreed to it?”
“I honestly thought the only way to get Luna away from my father was to make her show a huge success again. When Lunatics was top of the ratings she had self-confidence and self-worth and would never have given into my father’s pressure for sex. I figured if she had to say some stuff about me in the media then who cares, it would be worth it to save her. I had no idea the story would blow up the way it did.”
Unable to be so physically far away from Xander any longer, I move back to the sofa and hand him the drink. He takes it in one hand and with the other pulls me onto his lap. I fold into him and my body rests heavily against his.
“The stories are all true, but they are about my father instead of me.”
An idea hits me and I blurt, “You should tell that to BuzzFeed.”
Xander takes a long sip of his drink and stares off into the distance. The more I think about it, the more I think he should tell his real story. Aside from the revenge on his father and the restoration of his reputation, the story might shift away from Xander and get the media off his back.
“Maybe,” Xander mutters.
I nestle my head into his neck and run my hand up and down his arm. “Luna sounds like she has a lot of issues from her childhood.”
“She’s pretty fucked up. Like I said before, it was a lot harder for her than it was for me because she was only ever told her value was in her sex appeal. No one gave a shit if she even bothered to go to school let alone got an A. It spiraled pretty bad for a while.”
I interrupt and say, “Until Lunatics saved her. At least for a short time. But she obviously hasn’t gotten over all her issues or they wouldn’t have come back as soon as the ratings went down.”
“You’re a wise woman, supermodel,” Xander says and draws my head close to his.
My breath quickens and my chest fills with butterflies, but I have to ask. “Do you think she cares about you the way you care about her?” I brace for Xander to push me off him at the nerve of my question.
“As much as she’s capable of it,” Xander says without hesitating. His quick answer makes me think that he’s been asking himself the same question.
I press my body tighter into his and say, “It might be a case of her being too damaged to help without destroying yourself in the process.”
“That’s exactly what I’ve concluded over the past few days. I want to help her, I really do, but right now I’m more concerned with you and making the media and internet trolls leave you alone.” Xander cups my cheek and gazes into my eyes. “If there’s one thing that you’ve shown me, it’s what real love feels like and this is it. I love you, Elsie.”
My heart bursts wide open and I blink back a tear. “And I love you.” Before I finish my words, Xander’s lips are on mine and we melt together into a languid kiss that makes me forget anything or anyone other than us exists.
It feels like we are twirling and being wrapped in a thick blanket that will protect us from the world. We have each other and right now that’s all either of us needs. And it’s all I want, to be in his arms forever.
He makes all my own problems seem to disappear. Like it doesn’t matter what the doctor tells me, because he’s here now and he makes everything seem perfect. He even makes me believe that the doctors won’t tell me any bad news at all. My life is nothing but goodness and happiness now that Xander’s in it.
And I honestly believe he feels the same way about me. When we first met he was agitated about his situation, not just his family but all his friends. At first he was withdrawn and it was difficult to get him to talk but now he’s open and I’m sure he’s in a better space.
He breaks the kiss and says, “So, where do we go from here?”
Ignoring what he actually means, I say, “We don’t go anywhere. It’s not as fancy as that big, old house but Isabel’s apartment is as good a place as any to hide out for a while. I don’t have to be at work for two weeks, and unless you have to go shoot some episodes of Lunatics, I assume you don’t have to be anywhere either.”
Xander laughs, his dimple on full display, and I give it a quick kiss before it disappears again.
“Her twenty-four hours are up. I’m walking away from that show and not looking back.”
“And her?”
“I’ll always be here if she needs me. She’s pretty much my sister.”
I love that he doesn’t give up on her, even now. Part of me wants to drive to New York and shake some sense into her. “That’s sweet of you.”
“I’ll tell you my plan. Tonight, I’m going to get my agent to set up a video link interview on some morning show tomorrow and tell the world that the story is about my father and not me. I’m going to tell them that Luna and I are no longer a couple and that I’m moving on with my life and won’t be on Lunatics anymore. In fact, I’m going to text him right now,” Xander says and grabs his phone from the table, tapping wildly at the screen.
“I think that’s a great idea, but I’m not sure that’ll make the paparazzi go away anytime soon.”
“It’ll keep them from calling you a whore. Besides, we’ve got a bed and Monopoly, what more do we need?” Xander says, gesturing around the apartment.
“And Luna? Are you going to warn her?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m going to be too busy fucking you,” Xander says and crushes his mouth against mine.
His phone rings but even though it’s in his hand he ignores it. It rings again and again and as much as I don’t want to, I pull away from him.
“It might be important,” I say.
“Nothing is as important as you.” The phone rings again and Xander answers this time. “Right now? Fine, give me five minutes.”
“Who was that?” I ask, my brow furrowed.
“My agent, he’s set up an interview on a video link right now. He wants the story out tonight.”
Chapter 30
Xander
“Thank you again for joining us this evening, it’s certainly been a shocking revelation,” Nancy, the bottled-blonde newscaster says.
“My pleasure,” I say flashing her my broadest, biggest TV smile.
The interview only lasted five minutes but I told her and Phil more than I’d originally planned. I was only going to tell them that the story was about my father, and that Luna and I are no longer a couple, instead I dropped in the fact that Luna and my father were carrying on the so-called perverted sex acts she accused me of doing. I’ll let them do their homework and figure out the real relationship, with my father half-raising Luna.
I close down my phone’s Skype and toss it on the
dining table in front of me.
“That was impressive,” Elsie says. She sat in a dining chair beside me during the interview, just out of the video shot.
“It should blow up the internet,” I say with confidence. Luna wanted a news story, she can’t say I didn’t give her one. I’m sure the attention will be heavy on all three of us for the next few days but at least I’ll be the one in the positive light.
And no one has the ability to say anything about Elsie.
Now I can get back to her. I still can’t believe I told her that I love her. I do love her. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, I’m just surprised the words came out of me as easily as they did.
With her, she makes me see that anything is possible. Even walking away from everything I’ve ever known and starting a new life.
As long as she is in it, nothing else matters.
Elsie picks up the phone and stares at my password screen. “Aren’t you curious to see what people are saying?”
“I’m far more interested in picking up where we left off before we were interrupted,” I say, taking the phone from her hand and setting it on the table.
Clasping her hand tight in mine, I stand and pull her out of the chair. Holding her eyes in mine, I whip her T-shirt over her head and unclasp her bra. Her pert breasts draw my attention and my dick stiffens in my jeans.
Meshing my hand through her hair, I tilt her head exposing her neck. I nibble it and drag my tongue down its length and to her pearled nipples.
She moans and I scoop her into my arms and carry her to the bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed, I undo her jeans and pull them off with her panties.
I stand tall and survey Elsie as she lies naked on the bed. For the first time in my life I’m filled with an inner peace and it’s all because of her.
“What are you looking at?” she asks, bending her knees sideways on the bed and laying an arm across her forehead.
How could I ever even begin to answer that question? I’m looking at my new reality and my future. At the woman who made my life make sense. The woman who showed me I’m not like my father and that I am capable of loving someone. And being loved back. Shaking my head, I smile and strip off my clothes.
“Something good? Nice?” Elsie says with a coy smile.
“Perfection,” I say and climb onto the bed. A loud chuckle bursts from Elsie but I don’t tell her that I was being serious.
Instead, I clap my mouth over hers, turning her laugh into a moan. I knead her breasts until her nipples harden and I roam my hand over her soft skin until I reach her pussy. I slide my fingers across it, she’s already wet and my dick aches to be inside her.
Ignoring her entrance, I press my finger against her clit and rub until Elsie cries out. Normally there are so many things I want to do to her, so many ways I want to touch her and make her scream but right now all I’m interested in is the boring old missionary position with her arms and legs wrapped around me and her lips on mine so I can be as close to her as possible.
As much as I want to be bare inside her, in lightning speed I grab a condom from the bedside table and put it on.
Positioning my tip between her legs, I push inside her slick walls as I kiss her. Elsie grips my shoulders and tilts her hips and wraps her legs around mine. As I move, my chest rubs against her breasts and the contact sends shudders over my skin.
Her walls are tight around my shaft and I move slowly in and out of her, savoring every second. In life, there are some things you never want to end and this is one of them.
We kiss and nuzzle and rest and kiss some more, all while I’m inside her. My balls draw against me and my shaft throbs. I stop moving until they calm down. I’m aware of time passing but at the same time not having enough of it.
I gently pump into her again and again until I lose myself in her. Elsie moans and squirms underneath me and I thrust harder and harder. Her walls spasm around me and my cock throbs again. This time I’m helpless to stop it and I dissolve into a massive orgasm.
Both our bodies are slick with sweat and I roll off her, flopping exhausted beside her.
“Wow,” Elsie says in a breathless voice.
I smile and kiss her forehead. “It was good,” I say.
She laughs, a tired and exhausted chuckle and says, “I’m so tired.”
“It’s late, let’s go to sleep,” I say and pull the blankets over us.
Wrapped in my arms, Elsie closes her eyes and falls instantly asleep. I lie thinking about everything that’s happened and most of all about Elsie and what our future might look like.
I wonder if I can convince her to quit her job and we can use my trust fund to open her dream hotel. My mind runs through a hundred scenarios of all the different ways we can grow old together.
Exhausted, my body grows heavy, and I sink into the bed.
My phone rings incessantly, stirring me from my sleep. Elsie is cradled tight against me, our legs entwined.
The ringing still hasn’t stopped, and I disentangled myself from her to turn off the phone before it wakes her. In the dim light I move through the small apartment and retrieve my phone from the dining table.
It’s Luna. I’d planned to turn the phone off without answering but my finger slides across the screen and I say, “Hello.”
“How could you do this to me?” She screeches and I pull the phone away from my head to save my eardrum.
“I did warn you,” I say with a firm voice. I have no regrets.
“You’ve ruined my life.”
“Nah, I just couldn’t fix it. Only you can do that.”
“What are you talking about?”
I sigh and say, “I tried to help you, but you need professional help.”
“What the fucking fuck are you talking about?”
“Listen, I’ve tried and tried to help you, but you only ended up bringing me down with you.”
“So, you’re just walking away from me and the show?”
“Yeah, and my father and mother and everyone else.” It feels good to say it out loud, like it solidifies my decision and there’s no turning back.
“But what will I do now?”
“Sort yourself out and come find me again. You’re my sister, at least in my mind. I want you in my life but not if it means spending all the negative energy that I have been.”
“Oh God, don’t tell me that girl in the photo has been filling your head with this shit.” My hand balls into a fist and my chest heaves. I have to stop myself from hurling the phone at the wall.
“The girl in the photo is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Whatever. She’ll be yesterday’s news soon enough.”
“She’d better be, I don’t want to see her get any more abuse online.”
“I meant for you. You’ll get bored and discard her soon enough.”
“Not a chance, Elsie is mine now and it’s going to stay that way.” I’m done, I’ve said everything I want to say to Luna and I hang up the phone and switch it off.
I pad back across the floor to the bedroom and crawl back into bed with Elsie. Pulling her tight against me, I drape my arm over her. In the haze of the dark I look at her breathing, she’s an amazing sight I could watch all night.
Chapter 31
Elsie
Multiple sclerosis. The phrase runs over and over in my head as I try to understand the gravity of the words the doctor said to me.
Taking the last Kleenex from the box in my car, I wipe my eyes and blow my nose and drop it on the pile of used ones. I resume my tight grip on the steering wheel, even though the car is parked. I’ve been sitting in my car in Isabel’s parking lot for the past hour, trying to figure out what to do now.
I suppose I knew it was coming but part of me clung to the hope that it was nothing or something else and that’s why it took two years of testing to get an answer. It just wasn’t the answer I wanted.
Instead I’ve had my life and future ripped away from me.
&nb
sp; Closing my eyes, I remember the feeling of Xander’s arms holding me in bed last night and it soothes me. We’ve spent the past two weeks in Isabel’s apartment, supposedly hiding from the paparazzi, but Xander’s interview shifted the focus to Luna and his father and the media lost interest in us last week. Neither of us wanted our hiding away from the media situation to end. We kept telling everyone that the paparazzi would reappear as soon as they learned where we were and that we had no choice but to stay hidden away, in our own little world of bliss.
And what a world it’s been. Our time together has been the best time of my life. When I first agreed to have pizza on the roof of the Good Rest Inn with him, I had no idea that things would end up the way they did. I never anticipated falling in love.
When I started having health problems, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let any man into my life, out of fairness to him.
And yet Xander walked into my life and left me powerless to lock my heart away.
I let out another massive sob, my body shaking in the car seat at the intensity. Out of Kleenex, I wipe my eyes on my sleeve.
Now I’ve lost two things today, my future and the man I love. Because I can’t sentence anyone else to the life I have to live.
If living is what you call it, more like suffering with no hope.
Though my heart weighs as much as a mountain, I know what I have to do. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve once more and open the car door. By the time I reach the apartment, my knees are weak and threaten to give out on me. My hand trembles as I put the key in the lock and open the door.
“Finally, I missed you,” Xander says, standing up from the couch.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be gone so long,” I say, trying to sound normal.
Xander’s eyes widen and he flies to my side and draws me tight against him. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Where do I start? I told him I had to go meet Cynthia this morning instead of saying that I had a doctor’s appointment.
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