I was kind of hoping we’d have a boy, and that I could name him Kayden. But Steel said no way in hell would he name anyone after himself.
It didn’t matter anyway, since the baby was a girl. A beautiful, bright blue-eyed girl with blonde hair and a smile that could melt the heart of even the hardest carny. We called her Trixie. Though I think in Steel’s mind her name is Tricksy. Or even Trickster.
Once a carny, always a carny. But I guess that goes for me too.
“Hey, how are you? Still praying for my family?” I wave out the window at Barbara, the town’s biggest gossip.
She glances over, and her eyes bulge when she realizes it’s me. I burst out laughing, and she turns away and disappears into the nearest store. No doubt she’s gone in to talk all about that nasty Emily girl harassing her.
“You’re bad,” Steel says, chuckling.
Trixie bursts out crying in her car seat. She’s seventeen months old now, and very protective of me.
I turn around, squeezing as much as my body between the seats as I can and stroke her leg.
“It’s okay, sweetie, Daddy was just joking.”
Steel flips the radio onto the CD player. The Wiggles always, always calms her. It’s our foolproof method, and soon enough, her crying’s stopped and her head is bobbing to the beat.
“I can’t fucking believe I have to listen to The Wiggles,” Steel mutters under his breath.
“You love it,” I say, straightening my body in my seat.
“I hate it. But I love her, so here we are, singing about fruit salads.”
“Fruit salads are yummy.”
Steel shakes his head as I start singing along with the song. As I sing, I twirl the wedding band on my finger. I’ve worn it for almost a year now, ever since we exchanged rings at our town hall official paper signing, but I still play with it whenever I’m extra happy.
Steel’s dealership is already one of the best in the area. He hired a bunch of people my dad wouldn’t given a second thought to, but Steel can read them. He knew which would be cheats or lazy.
As a result, it’s got a reputation of being the place for real men to buy their trucks.
Although I started selling there one or two days a week too. It turns out lots of women actually want to buy from another woman. Even though I work a fraction of the hours, I’m one of the top salespeople in the dealership. I might even beat Steel, if I ever start working full-time.
Except that won’t be for a while. We’re expecting another baby. This one is a boy, but not due for another few months. Steel still insists on not naming him Kayden. Now I’m working on it for his middle name.
“We’re here,” Steel says to Trixie in his daddy voice.
We’ve found a parking spot down a side street. Steel hops out of the car and gets the stroller out of the back while I unbuckle Trixie.
Once she’s buckled into her stroller, since she likes to climb out of it, we walk to the park. I push, and Steel wraps his arm around my waist.
After my father decided Steel was worthy of his approval, he, as Lions Club President, decided to always use Papa Smurf’s carnival. And they’re in town today.
“I can’t believe I’m lining up and paying to get in. Can’t we just go around the back or something?” Steel says.
“You’re just a regular-paying townie now,” I say.
Steel laughs and shakes his head. This must be strange for him. It’s the first time we’ve been back to the carnival since we left it in Mississippi. Though he keeps in touch with everyone online, I only keep in touch with Cess.
“Fun, fun,” Trixie says, reaching her hand in front of her.
“That’s right, we’re going to have lots of fun,” Steel says.
“We always do,” I say, smiling and touching my fingers to his.
We walk down the midway, but I don’t see Cess. She must be on her break.
“Well, look who showed up,” Papa Smurf says from behind us.
He slaps Steel across the back, and I turn to hug him.
“Let me see this baby of yours,” he crouches in front of Trixie and wiggles his finger against her cheek. “I half didn’t believe she was real.”
“There’s another coming too,” I say.
Papa Smurf stands to his full height and shakes his head. “Well, ain’t you just the family man now.”
“Don’t forget respectable business owner,” I say.
“You two are lucky my daughter is here, or I’d tell you what I think of that,” Steel says.
“I’m going to take Trixie to meet Cess,” I say.
Gripping the stroller handle, I push it over the bumpy grass, searching for her. I spot her by the funnel cakes, and head over to her.
“Hey!” I say.
“God, she’s adorable. Looks just like her old man,” Cess says, picking Trixie up and cuddling her.
“She’s a little mini Steel,” I say.
“So what’s new, anything?”
“I finally heard from that private detective I hired,” I say.
“The one in Canada?” She asks.
Cess is the only one who knows I hired him. It was just after Trixie was born, and my curiosity got the better of me. Sitting at home alone with her, one day I found him online and sent an email.
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“His mother was killed with her husband in a drunk driving accident about six years ago.”
“Shit, that’s rough.”
“Language,” I say, raising my eyebrows.
“Oops, forgot someone’s got little ears,” Cess says, cupping Trixie’s head.
“It’s probably easier anyway. No decisions to be made, anyway.”
“Did you tell Steel?”
“No, nothing. He still doesn’t know I hired the private investigator. Steel always said his mother was dead to him, so what’s the point of telling him she actually is dead?”
“At least you know.”
“I guess,” I say, shrugging.
I don’t know what I was hoping would happen. Maybe that she’d sobered up and left her abusive husband, and was desperate to find her son again. I guess that was just a pipe dream on my part.
We chat for a while longer, until Steel comes along.
“Come with me,” he says.
“I’ll come back and find you later,” I tell Cess.
He takes Trixie from Cess and holds her. I walk along beside him, pushing the empty stroller.
Steel leads me straight to the Ferris wheel, past the massive line and right to the front.
“You fucking cocksucker, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Whiskey says with a smile.
“Watch your mouth around my kid,” Steel says, covering one of Trixie’s ears.
“You gotta be shitting me, I never thought I’d see your ugly face again,” Whiskey says.
“And I was hoping I’d never see yours,” Steel says. He sounds tough, but I know he’s laughing on the inside.
The ride stops, and Whiskey moves to unload the first car. The people get off, and Steel steps on with Trixie, with me right behind him.
“You can’t take a baby on that ride!” someone yells.
“There’s a line here!” another yells.
Barbara’s going to love this juicy bit of gossip, but not one iota of me gives a shit. In fact, I’d love to tell her myself. Actually, what I’d really love to do is describe Steel’s dick to her. The look on her face would be priceless.
Steel’s holding Trixie in his arms, and I know she’s completely safe. I snuggle up beside them. The Ferris wheel stops and starts, loading and unloading, and soon our car is stopped at the very top.
“Look, Trixie, you can see everywhere from here,” Steel says.
Trixie’s eyes are wide, and her head turns in every direction.
“You can even see Grandma’s house,” I say, pointing.
She follows the direction of my finger, but I doubt she can see where I’m pointing, there’
s too much in between, and her eyes are drawn by the other moving rides.
“Would you believe, little miss, that your mommy and I had our first date right here, in this very spot?”
My eyes shift to the car number, and I see it’s the same car we first sat in together. And the same one we got married in. Obviously Steel set this up with Whiskey before.
“I knew the moment I first laid eyes on your mommy that I had to have her.”
“I don’t think she gets the double entendre,” I say, smiling.
Steel doesn’t look at me, instead he continues talking to Trixie. “At first she only wanted me for one thing, but when I didn’t give it to her, she started to realize I was more than just a pretty face. And she started loving me, just like I loved her. And then you came along. You’re very lucky you have the best mommy in the whole wide world. And I’m going to take you all around the whole world, just to prove it to you.”
We’ve been at the top for ages, far longer than it takes to unload and load a car, and I realize Steel’s arranged this with Whiskey too.
“I never thought I’d win at anything, and here I won the biggest prize of all. Except I keep doing something wrong. Even though I keep trying to do better. Three times, and I still never got it right.”
I look at him, and though he’s talking to Trixie, his blue eyes are boring straight into me. He moves his closed hand over to me, and opens it. A massive solitaire lies in the center of his palm.
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