“Has someone signed you?”
“Yeah. I crowd sourced the album, but a few songs blew up and now I have a deal.”
“And that’s why you’re afraid to come out now?” Emma asked.
“I guess. I mean, I will… Once I’ve established myself.”
The waiter brought them their drinks and Emma tried to take in everything that Caitlin had just said. It seemed so unlike her to hide who she was.
“Sorry,” Emma said after she’d taken a drink. “I didn’t mean to be so judgmental. I’m just surprised I guess... I take it you’re single?”
“Yeah. No time and to be honest… I haven’t met anyone who could compare to you.”
Emma held Caitlin’s gaze, not believing what she just heard.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Caitlin asked.
“No… I’ve tried every dating site and app there is, but it’s always been a disaster.”
“Maybe we threw away our best chance,” Caitlin said with a sad smile. She was about to say something else, but the lead singer was back on stage.
“I believe the talented Cat Stone is with us tonight. And we would love it if she could join us on stage for a song or two.”
Caitlin turned to face the stage and saw most of the audience looking around until a few people pointed her out and there was more cheering.
“Go on,” Emma said with a smile.
Caitlin stood up and took a quick swig of her drink before making her way towards the stage.
Emma sat back and watched Caitlin get on stage with the three musicians. They found another stool and gave it to Caitlin who borrowed the lead singer’s guitar and sat down, adjusting the mic.
“Thanks everybody,” Cat said with a shy smile. “This is my current single. Endless Love. I hope you guys like it.”
Emma felt tears welling up in her green eyes. How different would her life have been if she’d stuck with Caitlin? Surely, she’d be a hell of a lot happier.
She listened to Caitlin’s haunting voice with a mixture of pride and sadness, the lyrics cutting right through her.
***
Cat climbed down the three steps from the stage and weaved her way through the crowd, pausing for photos with a few people.
She eventually found her way back to her table where she saw Emma smiling at her.
“You were amazing,” Emma said with a warm smile. “That song is going to do really well.”
“Thanks.”
Cat suddenly felt self-conscious. Part of her wanted to continue the conversation they were having before she went on stage, but the moment had passed.
Maybe she’d said too much. Maybe Emma had gotten over her a long time ago and she was the only one still hoping that they had a chance.
Cat silently wished that Emma would come to the gig tomorrow night. She’d be back on the road again after that and she wanted to see her before she left.
But the other part of her realized how little she’d really moved on in the last few years.
Maybe it would be better if Emma didn’t come tomorrow night. Cat was so busy now and she didn’t need her feelings for Emma to distract her.
Chapter 10
Tori and Emma arrived at the venue early. She’d decided to go but not take any photos. She helped Tori carry in her gear and get set up.
“Shit,” Tori said as she searched through her camera bag. “My memory card is in the car. I’ll be back in a second.”
“Okay.”
Emma picked up one of Tori’s cameras, loving the feel of it in her hands. She missed this.
Emma lifted the camera to her face, closing one eye and peering through the lens with the other. She took a few shots of the empty stage and then climbed up on stage to take a photo of some of the sound equipment.
“Hey,” a man called out to her as he approached the stage. “You must be Tori.”
Emma stepped down off the stage. “Sorry, I’m Emma. Tori’s friend. She’ll be back in a second.”
“Oh sorry,” he said as he extended his hand. “I’m Jeff Weiss, Cat’s manager.”
“Emma Kingsley,” she said as she shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“Ah, there she is,” Emma said as Tori came through the door.
“I’m Jeff,” he said as he shook Tori’s hand. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the voice.”
“Tori,” she said, shaking his hand. “Yes. Definitely. I’m sorry you couldn’t make it to the photo shoot the other day.”
“Me too. I had to fly back home for a family emergency. Everything’s fine now but I’m sorry I missed it. Cat says it went well anyway.”
“It did,” Tori said with a smile. “I think there’s a few contenders for the cover there.”
“That would be fantastic,” Jeff said. “I better get back to work and let you guys finish setting up.”
“See you later,” Tori said, and Emma waved goodbye as he made his way backstage.
Emma smiled at her friend. “I know that look,” she said with a smirk.
“He’s gorgeous.”
“I’m sure you’ll see him later,” Emma said as she handed the camera she was holding over to Tori.
“I hope so.”
***
Emma took a seat at the back of the venue and clapped with the rest of the crowd as Caitlin came on stage. She looked beautiful in a black dress, her blond hair in loose curls that flowed past her shoulders.
Caitlin’s image had completely changed since she got signed and Emma wondered how much of it was her decision.
Caitlin had always favored casual, comfortable clothes, but now she was always dressed up and often in a dress with makeup and her hair styled.
As Caitlin started singing Emma could see Tori, crouched down in front of the stage, taking photos.
Tonight, Emma felt proud seeing Caitlin up on stage, in her element. She was definitely made for this.
The first few songs flew by and before Emma knew it, Tori was sitting down next to her, her photos taken. Tori could enjoy the rest of the gig now that her job was done.
“She’s amazing,” Tori said as the song ended, and she reached for her drink.
“She is,” Emma said with a warm smile.
***
After Caitlin finished her last song, the crowd gave her a huge cheer and standing ovation as she left the stage.
Jeff had sat down at their table a few minutes ago and was clapping and whistling beside them.
Caitlin was lucky to have him, Emma thought. He seemed to genuinely care about her and her music.
“So, what’d you guys think?” Jeff asked as they sat down again and some of the crowd left.
“She has such a unique voice,” Tori said. “And she’s extremely photogenic.”
“She does but maybe you’re giving her a little too much credit. I think it might be the photographer and not the subject.”
Emma watched Tori blush beside her. She felt like the third wheel.
“I better go talk to the manager of this place before he leaves,” Jeff said as he stood up. “If I don’t see you guys again, enjoy the rest of your night.”
“Bye,” they both said as he went to find the venue’s manager.
“You have it bad,” Emma said as she gently elbowed Tori in the ribs.
“Speak for yourself. Are you going to go talk to her?”
“Should I?”
“Yes,” Tori said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to do.
“I don’t know… Last night was weird.”
“Just go talk to her. I’ll be fine. I need to pack up my gear and then I might see if Jeff’s still around and buy him a drink.”
“Okay,” Emma said. They both finished their drinks and went their separate ways.
Emma made her way through the thinning crowd and through the door beside the stage.
She’d been to this venue dozens of times over the years with Tori and she knew her way around. Most of the
staff knew her and she’d even dated one of the bartenders before, but it hadn’t gone well.
She was beautiful, with dark hair and blue eyes, but they just hadn’t clicked. Emma hadn’t noticed if she was working tonight.
Emma made her way down the hallway until she got to the dressing room on the right. She could hear Caitlin’s voice, but it sounded like she was talking to someone, her voice escaping through the crack in the door.
Emma waited for a few seconds, but she couldn’t make out what Caitlin was saying. She was almost whispering.
Curiosity got the better of her and Emma took a step forward so that she could see through the opening in the door.
She could see Caitlin’s blond hair but there was someone standing in front of her.
Emma stopped breathing as she realized what she was witnessing. A dark-haired woman was kissing Caitlin, her hands all over Caitlin as she backed her up against the wall.
Emma noticed the tattoo on the dark-haired woman’s arm and knew it was the bartender she’d previously dated, Chloe.
She darted her eyes away and went back down the hallway and into the bar. Her breath was ragged, her heart pounding in her chest.
I guess I’m the only one still hung up here.
Emma left the venue and got in a taxi. She just needed to get out of there and go home. She sent Tori a text as the cab turned north and headed towards her building.
Chapter 11
Cat waited until Jeff got up to go to the bathroom before she called Emma. They were on the train to New York City where Cat would be doing more interviews and another gig.
Her finger hovered over Emma’s name until she finally pressed ‘call.’ She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She didn’t know why she was so nervous.
Cat patiently waited as the phone continued to ring. When she heard Emma’s voice asking her to leave a message, she almost hung up but then thought she’d better just leave a message.
“Hi Emma… I was hoping to get to see you last night. I’m on my way to New York now. I’m not sure when I’ll be back in Philadelphia, but it was really good to see you…”
Cat hung up before she said anything she might regret. She’d already said more than she should of and Emma didn’t seem to feel the same way.
She thought she’d see Emma last night, but she wasn’t at the gig.
Cat was happy with her performance. The crowd seemed to love it. She just wished Emma had been there.
Afterwards, things got a little crazy though. One of the bartenders brought Cat a beer and she ended up flirting with her.
Cat was surprised. It was something that didn’t happen to her much anymore… being hit on like that. It was the price she had to pay for going back into the closet.
This girl must have had exceptional gaydar because she just went for it and caught Cat by surprise when she backed her up against the wall and dipped her head, inching her lips closer. Cat didn’t protest and a few seconds later they were kissing.
She didn’t tell Jeff about it. There was nothing to tell. She’d probably never see her again and she didn’t think anybody was going to find out about it.
Jeff sat down beside her again and Cat glanced over at him.
“So, what’s the plan? After this mini tour,” Cat said, turning slightly to face him.
“More promo. Tv. We might get you into some festivals in the spring and hopefully your own tour in the fall.”
“Next year?”
Jeff nodded. “There’s talk of rereleasing your album with a few bonus tracks and possibly mixing the original songs again in their studio.”
Cat wondered how much free time she was going to have in the next few weeks and if she’d have a chance to come back to Philadelphia.
She didn’t like the way she’d left things with Emma. It was great to see her after so long but instead of feeling some sense of closure, she felt more confused than ever.
There’s still something there…
Cat couldn’t put her finger on it. Even though Emma didn’t say anything, she could sense it.
After a few nights in New York, they would be traveling to Boston and then Cat would be heading back to Los Angeles.
She was looking forward to having some time off. She felt inspired to write.
And maybe I’ll come back to Philadelphia.
Chapter 12
Emma was the first to the coffee shop today, so she got their usual table by the window and ordered a pumpkin spiced latte for herself and a cappuccino for Tori.
She met Tori randomly during the week, but they had a date every Saturday at 11AM in this coffee shop, unless of course either of them had to work.
Tori arrived a few minutes later and sat down across from Emma, taking off her black winter jacket and draping it across the back of the chair.
“Hey, how was your wedding yesterday?” Emma asked.
“The usual. It was a sunny yet crisp autumn day, so I couldn’t complain. It was great for the photos. The foliage was stunning,” Tori said as she brought her mug to her lips. “So, do you wish you’d brought your camera to the gig the other night?”
“Yes… It felt weird just listening. Did you go over those photos yet?”
“Yeah,” Tori said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Have a look,” she said as she swiped her finger across the screen and handed it to Emma.
“Wow.”
“I know. Better than I thought with that lighting,” Tori said as she watched Emma look through the photos.
“Have you been in touch with Caitlin? She’s going to be impressed with these.”
“I will, later on today. I’ll email her the ones from the hotel and the best shots from the gig,” Tori said as Emma returned her phone. “So, what’d you think of Jeff?”
“He seems nice… Handsome.”
“Very handsome,” Tori said with a smile.
“He lives in L.A.”
“I wonder when they’ll be back again. Have you talked to her?”
“No,” Emma said with a sigh. “She left me a message but…”
“But what?”
Emma brought her coffee to her lips. “I saw her kissing this woman.”
“What?”
“You know that bartender I dated… briefly. Well… her. Caitlin’s not out by the way,” Emma said softly. “Now that she has a contract.”
“But she’s kissing the bartender?”
“Yeah… I don’t know. She said some stuff the other night… I don’t know… I guess I thought she still had feelings for me but apparently not.”
“Are you going to call her?” Tori asked.
“I don’t think so… I’m not playing games with her. I’m too old for that shit. We live on opposite sides of the country. Nothing has changed. Just because we might still be attracted to one another doesn’t mean much.”
“I think you’re giving up on this too soon.”
“I gave up on us ten years ago,” Emma said sadly. “I wish I hadn’t, but I did.”
Chapter 13
December 2015
Cat glanced out the window of her hotel room at the snow that was slowly drifting towards the ground.
The last few weeks she’d been inspired to write but after a few days at home with her family, she felt sluggish, and she’d lost that feeling.
Now she was in Philadelphia in a budget hotel because she wasn’t here for business.
She was here to see Emma.
Cat grabbed her gray handbag and made sure her journal was inside. She needed a change of scenery.
She thought about going down to Liberty Park, but she didn’t want to just show up. Emma hadn’t returned her call and she wasn’t going to go chasing after her.
So, Cat left her hotel room in search of a cozy coffee shop where she could work on the song she’d been writing.
She trudged through the three or four inches that had already fallen, glad to be wearing warm boots that covered her jeans up to her knees. She had wrapped up
well with a black scarf and hat, but she was still chilly.
She was going to keep going past the first coffee shop she saw to find somewhere less crowded, but she was so cold. She needed to get inside and warm up with a cappuccino.
Endless Love Page 4