Emma padded down the hall and knocked on the last door on the left.
“Come in.”
“Hey…,” Emma said as she opened the door and leaned against the frame.
Emma immediately noticed how tired Cat looked. She’d been worrying about her lately.
Cat was sitting on the love seat with her guitar in front of her, but she looked so drained. Emma didn’t know how she could be getting any work done. She needed to rest or eat or both.
Emma wasn’t sure how to be there for Cat. Should she leave her alone? Should she listen to what she’d written so far? Emma didn’t know anything about music.
“Hi,” Cat said softly as left her guitar back in its stand.
“Writer’s block?”
“Yeah,” Cat said with a sigh as she leaned forward, her hands clasped with her elbows resting on her thighs.
“Same song?”
“No. It’s a new one… I have four songs that I can’t finish now. One is just a chorus and a bit of a melody. One has two verses and a melody but no chorus. I’m all over the place.”
Emma crossed the room to sit down beside her. She gently rubbed Cat’s back before she put her arm around her.
“How much longer do you have to finish them?” Emma asked.
“Two months… I need to have all the songs done by then.”
“Wow…”
“Yeah.”
“Is there any way to push it back?” Emma asked, her arm still wrapped around Cat’s waist.
“I don’t think so. And it’s part of what drew me to this record label. I loved that they moved fast. I don’t think more time would help anyway. I’m in a rut. I just need to figure out how to get out of it.”
“What’s worked for you before?”
Cat sighed. “Writing in different places… I’ve tried that, but this is a whole other thing. Before I had writer’s block for an hour or two. Now it’s days, weeks even. I know what the problem is though… I’m happy.”
Emma laughed out loud. “That’s an awful problem to have.”
“I’m serious,” Cat said, turning to meet her green eyes. “I was miserable when I was writing the songs for my first album. I can’t have this new one be completely different: upbeat and just not me… That’s not the kind of music I write.”
“Have you written many songs about Melissa?” Emma asked.
“No.”
“You should. It’ll help you grieve and it’ll help you get over this block.”
“Do you really think so?” Cat asked, her eyes watering up.
“Yes… I made some dinner… Come eat. Then give this another try if you want or leave it until the morning,” Emma said as she stood up, reaching for Cat’s hand.
“Okay…”
Chapter 58
October 19th, 2016
Cat sat back from her piano with a grin on her face, stretching her arms over her head, happy to have another song done.
She’d been writing every day for the last three weeks. Not all of it was usable but she’d been making progress.
Cat finally unpacked and got settled into their new apartment. When she was so frustrated with her music, she moved on to the boxes that were stacked in the corner of her music room.
She thought at the very least she could get them out of the way. They’d been living there for all most three months, but she’d been so worried about her deadline and getting more songs written that she ignored all the unpacking she had to do.
Cat was on the second to last box when she came across her old journals. There was at least a dozen of them, dating all the way back to her early teens.
She’d forgotten all about them. She brought the box over to the love seat and sat down, flipping through them one by one.
After a few minutes of reading over what she’d written, Cat got up to get a stack of sticky notes so that she could flag the pages she wanted to come back to.
She only read through two journals before she had to move back to the piano and try and work some of the lyrics she’d written into a song.
That was the start of the return of her creativity. All it took was reading over her journal entries and ideas for songs from years ago.
They reminded her of how much she’d written over the years and she was surprised by the quality of some of the lyrics she read over, some written when she was only sixteen or seventeen.
She spent hours poring over her old journals and taking paragraphs and ideas, mashing them together with melodies that she’d come up with over the last few weeks but couldn’t find any words to put to them.
Time became irrelevant that day and she didn’t know how many hours she’d spent with her guitar or in front of the piano.
Emma was right too. She needed to write something about Melissa.
She came across one of her recent journals and what she’d written in the days following her death and a few hours later she had a song that she thought might end up being one the best she’d put together so far.
After that day, the writing process became so much easier and Cat was back in the flow.
Coming across those old journals made her realize that with all the pressure surrounding her deadline and trying to get over her writer’s block, she’d stopped journaling.
Her current journal had been packed away in one of those boxes and even though she’d journaled nearly every day, she’d been too stressed, too busy, to set aside a few minutes to jot down her thoughts.
Two weeks ago, she started writing in her leather-bound notebook every morning and she could already see the difference in her headspace, in her lyrics. Her creativity was officially back, along with her confidence.
A knock on her door brought her back to the present and Emma was standing there in jeans and a navy sweater, her black hair tied up in a messy bun.
“The last debate is going to be on in five minutes,” Emma said from the doorway. “Do you want to take a break?”
“Yes,” Cat said as she stood up and padded across the carpet to follow Emma into the open planned kitchen and living room. “I would love a beer and to put my feet up for an hour or two.”
“Did you have a good day?”
“Yeah. I’m officially over it. I haven’t stalled in more than two weeks,” Cat said with a smile. “The words are flowing again.”
Cat pulled two ice cold beers out of the refrigerator and opened them, handing one to Emma.
Emma took the bottle from her hand and leaned in to kiss her firmly. Cat could sense the relief that Emma was feeling.
Cat knew that she’d been difficult to be around the last few weeks. When work wasn’t going well for her, she couldn’t hide it. It was her life.
Cat reached for Emma’s hand, leading her over to the couch, ready to watch the final presidential debate.
Cat got comfortable in the corner of the couch leaving room for Emma to curl up next to her.
They watched the first fifteen minutes in silence, both happy to be relaxing and having a quiet evening in together.
“Is it bad that I find this better than any reality TV show right now?” Emma asked.
“It’s scary… I wish I could be out there campaigning or doing something.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I don’t want to sabotage my career. I think my fans would be pretty divided and if I start taking sides… I don’t know. I don’t think it would end well,” Cat said as she reached for her beer and took a drink.
“She’s got enough musicians and celebrities helping her anyway. You’re right to stay out of it.”
Cat nodded and went back to listening to each candidate answer the next question.
Chapter 59
November 4th, 2016
It was strange being in Atlantic City in November. Emma had only ever come here in the summer to walk along the boardwalk or spend a few hours on the beach.
She wasn't much of a gambler, so the line of casinos was pretty much lost on her. Tonight, she'd be taking some photographs of a comedian
that was performing at the Tropicana.
Cat was back on track with her music and ahead of schedule, so she came along with her for the night just to get away together.
They'd both been so busy since they'd moved back to Philadelphia and even though Emma had to work, it was only for a few hours.
They had the whole day to themselves and then at around ten o'clock tonight, Emma would be able to put her camera away again.
It was a blustery fall evening, so they ended up indoors, sitting at a blackjack table for a while and now they were going to try their luck with the slot machines.
They had an amazing seafood dinner at their hotel about two hours ago and Emma was still full, hoping that walking around the enormous casino would help her work it off.
She could see how people could spend an entire day in here. There was no way to know what time it was, and you could easily get distracted by one of the hundreds of machines or card tables that were spread out across the ground floor of the hotel.
Cat was stopped a few times for photos with some fans and Emma didn't know how she did it.
She always had time for her fans and unless she had to run to catch a plane or be on stage, she made sure to get to every single person who wanted to take a picture or have her sign something.
If that was Emma, she probably would have taken a few photos and then found a way out. She would never have the patience to stay and chat with all of them.
But that was probably why Cat was doing so well and why her fan base was growing month on month in terms of her followers and the amounts of shares she was getting.
Emma stepped away from the crowd as a few more people came over. Cat was surrounded by about twenty people now.
Another group of young women came over when they saw the crowd forming and before she knew it there must have been at least thirty people vying for Cat's attention.
Emma watched Cat smile and take photos with each of them. Emma looked down to check the time on her phone and realized that she needed to get back to the hotel and get ready for the show.
She squeezed through the crowd and made eye contact with Cat.
"I'll see you later," Emma said over the noise of the crowd and the machines.
"Sorry," Cat called back.
"It's okay!" Emma shouted as she waved goodbye and maneuvered her way back out of the crowd.
A few security guards were making their way over now, probably trying to figure out what was going on and if Cat wanted to get away from it all.
Emma knew that she'd stay until the very last person got their photo taken with her.
Emma went out on the boardwalk and was back at the Tropicana in just a few minutes to get her camera bag and head down to the show.
She liked to be early. It didn't matter if it was a brand-new venue to her or somewhere she'd been ten times before. She wanted to see how the lighting was set up and where she could get the best shots from and tonight was no different.
She was getting more and more gigs and thankfully, the majority of them were within an hour or two of Philadelphia. So far, she hadn't been asked to travel out of the country.
In the future, she'd love to but right now, she wanted to be there for Cat while she was putting her album together.
Emma should really call Tori and thank her for letting her know about this job. She loved it and who knows what she would have been doing if the magazine she worked for now hadn't hired her.
Emma took her phone out while she waited for the elevator to bring her to the auditorium and sent Tori a text.
She didn't know if they'd ever go back to being as close as they were, but they could at least be friendly as Tori put it the last time they'd met.
Chapter 60
November 8th, 2016
Tori and Emma sat transfixed on the sofa watching the news with almost a bottle of wine drank between them.
Cat had to go to New York for a meeting today, but she voted in the morning before she got on the train.
“I think I need to open another bottle of wine,” Emma said as she stood up and went into the kitchen.
She invited Tori over after they had a good chat when Emma was in Atlantic City. Tori had called her after they’d been texting, and they talked for more than an hour.
Emma found herself forgetting about what Tori did and she was reminded of how much she missed having her friend in her life.
They agreed to have an election night party, but they hadn’t factored in that things might not go their way.
“I had a dream that this happened,” Tori said. “Like three days ago, but I woke up with a smile on my face because I thought that it was one of the craziest things I’ve dreamt up in a while and you know how crazy my dreams can be sometimes.”
Emma brought over the second bottle of wine and filled both of their glasses.
“It’s happening,” Emma said as she put the cork back in the bottle.
“There’s no way back, is there?”
“No…”
“This can’t be real,” Tori said, taking a long drink.
“There’s really only one solution.”
“Get drunk?”
“Yep.”
Chapter 61
November 9th, 2016
Cat had a long day of meetings yesterday and she went to bed early, somehow forgetting to turn on the news.
When she woke up this morning she couldn’t believe the headlines. She flipped through the channels, hoping that there was a mistake, but this was the current reality.
She heard a commotion outside her window and saw people moving past her hotel with banners and signs that read “Not My President.”
Cat grabbed her phone and called Emma.
“Hi, Emma.”
Hey babe.
“I feel sick...”
I know. I do too but it’s not just from the result. I’m so hungover…
“There’s hundreds of people in the streets already… Protesting. I want to go down there.”
I thought you weren’t getting political.
“I can’t just sit in my hotel and come home when there’s hundreds of people down there making their voices heard… Do you have plans for today?”
I was supposed to be celebrating… So… No… No plans.
“Do you want to meet me here?”
Uhhh…
Cat could hear Emma cursing under her breath and saying something she couldn’t quite understand.
“Emma, you don’t have to. I didn’t realize you were that sick.”
I invited Tori over to celebrate but it became apparent pretty quickly that we wouldn’t be celebrating… So, we drank some wine… Lots of it actually.
“It’s okay if you want to stay there… I’m going to take a shower and then go downstairs. I need to go online and see if there’s a map or if people are just randomly marching.”
I’ll come… Do you mind if Tori joins us?
“Not at all… You’re friends again?”
I’m not sure… Friendly anyway. Friends… I’m don’t know. She’ll want to take photos anyway, so she’ll probably do her own thing when we get there.
“Okay. I’ll see you guys in a few hours. Text me when you’re around and I’ll let you know where I am.”
See you soon.
Cat hung up and went to get ready. Now she wished that she’d gone out and campaigned. She didn’t think her following was big enough to make much of a difference, but she should have at least tried.
Chapter 62
Emma and Cat followed the steady stream of people marching uptown to Midtown. The atmosphere was angry yet subdued with all sort of chants erupting from the crowd.
When Emma arrived, and found Cat almost four hours ago, she was tired, nauseous, and wondering why she bothered coming into the city. Now, she could feel the adrenaline pumping through her body.
She already had dozens of photographs that she would be able to sell as either stock photos or to newspapers or magazines. She’d seen so
many creative signs and posters that she had to stop and take a photo of.
She was surprised to see how animated Cat was. The good thing was, no one seemed to recognize her or if they did, they didn’t care.
Endless Love Page 17