by James Wolfe
I roughly pulled his head away from my dick.
“Just plow into me right now baby, I fucking need your cock!” I pleaded with him.
He smiled before giving my asshole a few licks, no doubt readying it for his incoming cock.
As soon as he pulled his mouth away from me, he took my whole body and flipped it over so that I was now face-down on the couch. He yanked my ass up with two hands, and before I could even process it he had shoved his entire cock into me.
And I fucking loved every inch of it.
His cock was so big that I could feel it stretching my hole even though I’d been with plenty of men before. I couldn’t help but begin to groan the second he started plowing into me. It stung, but it also felt so fucking good.
“Holy shit, baby,” I groaned, “you’re so fucking big!”
He put both of his hands on my arms and pinned me down as he started to quickly drill me. Again, he was like an animal. And it didn’t bother me that the sensual, romantic atmosphere our kiss had created was gone. I didn’t like sensual when it came to sex, I liked rough. I liked a man that could take control and act like the alpha male. And he seemed really fucking alpha right now.
“Your assholes so fucking tight!” He yelled at me. “I’m going to tear this ass up.”
“Do it!” I yelled back. “I need all of it!”
He lowered himself down so that he was laying almost completely on top of me, and then he sunk his teeth into my shoulder as he dug his fingers into the couch cushions.
“You’re going to make me cum if you keep talking dirty like that to me.” He whispered.
“Drill my tight little hole”! I continued, wanting him to jizz deep inside me. I wanted to feel his seed in me, I wanted it to be dripping out of me.
He wrapped one arm around my neck and yanked me up, then put his hands on my shoulders and used my whole body as leverage to start humping me even faster. I could tell he was creeping in on an orgasm.
“I can’t wait to feel your warm hot seed deep inside me.” I encouraged him as my entire body was continually being shifted forward by the force of his humping me. My ass had loosened so now his thickness filled me with only pleasure and I found myself letting out little moans every time he pulled all the way out of me and then plunged in again.
Just then, I felt the tip of his prick twitch as he shot his load inside me. My insides warmed with the feeling of his spunk. He pulled out quickly after, laying next to me panting, while we were both still completely naked.
Lying here next to him, still stark naked, I felt a peace in my heart that I’d never experienced before. A wonderful, calm, peaceful feeling had come over me.
This was right. I just knew it. I’d already felt it before we’d had sex, but now that we had… I was positive.
I’d felt weird before, about taking such a crazy leap in to starting a life with this man I’d never met. I didn’t feel weird about it now. Now, I felt sure.
But that didn’t last long…
“So, does our life together just, like, begin now?” I said to him with a smile.
He did not smile back.
“What?” I asked. “Did I… did I do something? Was that not good for you, too, or—”
“It was great!” he said quickly. “And you’re great. You haven’t done anything wrong. It is me that’s done wrong.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”
“I have something to tell you…” he said softly.
“Okay…” I said nervously.
He took in a deep breath. “Many years ago, when I turned eighteen, I took a mate.”
“You… took a mate?” I asked. “What does that mean?” I thought I had some idea of what it meant, but I also thought that I must be wrong. That couldn’t possibly mean what I thought it meant… right?
“I have a mate in my village already,” he answered, confirming my worst fears.
“Wait!” I said quickly. “But… how is that possible? Because you told me… you made it sound like you werewolves mate for life. And as soon as you find your mate, you know it. And people don’t break up, and… you made it seem like there was only one possible mate for everyone.”
“And that is how it is. That’s how it’s always been. I’ve never known any couple to separate, usually once people find their mate it’s for life, so—”
“So, what the hell is going on?!” I snapped as I sat up. “You… you made me believe that I was your mate. That I was the one for you. You got me feeling all these things, and—”
“You are my mate!” he said, reaching out his hand for me.
“How?! How can I be your mate when you already have one?! I mean… holy fuck, Cecil, is your mate back at the village right now?! Where does he think you are?”
Cecil looked down. “He thinks I’m working as a night guard.”
I let out a sarcastic chuckle. “You’re fucking kidding me.”
I had never changed moods so quickly before. I went from feeling like I’d found the love of my life to feeling like I’d been cheated somehow.
“I know it sounds bad,” Cecil began, “but you have to let me explain.”
“I am letting you explain!” I told him. “But what you’re explaining is that you’ve already been mated to another man for life.”
He buried his head in his hands. “Lyle, please—”
“Do you know how stupid I feel right now?!” I snapped at him. “You really had me going there. I don’t open myself up to men. Usually, that’s not my thing. I do hook-ups, I do quick dates, I don’t get attached. I barely know you, and for the first time I was feeling all these things… real, serious feelings. I was ready to move in to your village with you, and then you spring on me that none of this is even real?! I’m not even actually your mate. I’m just—”
“You are!” he argued. “You are my mate. You shouldn’t forget about those feelings; they’re real, I swear it.”
“But that’s impossible!” he said. “You already told me how your species works. You already told me nobody in your species has ever broken up. Was that a lie?”
“No…” he said hesitantly, “but—”
“Then all of what I said, all of our plans, it’s all bullshit. I can’t move to your village with you. How could I? You’ve already got a man there waiting for you. You live with another man, and have for years?! There is a spouse waiting for you back home, and you’re sleeping with me?! Do you know how dirty that feels? And this is coming from a man who’s had a lot of fucking sex, but I always went into it knowing the score. And I never would’ve slept with you, had I known you had another man waiting for you in your own bed.”
“Look, Lyle, just because nobody ever has broken up with their mate doesn’t mean I can’t. I was planning to tell Sam, I was, but I wanted to know where we stood first. When I heard you say you'd be willing to come live with me, I just knew this would be right. That ending things with Sam was the right decision.”
“Do you even know how stereotypical you sound right now?” I asked him. “You were going to tell your spouse, but, oh, wait, you wanted to make sure you had me in the bag first, right? Wouldn’t want to end your current relationship if you’re not even going to start one with me? Is that right?”
He looked down. “Okay, you’re making this all sound really sinister…”
“It looks really sinister, Cecil! You get that right? It looks like you just came over here to fuck me. Like, why didn’t you tell me all of this before we had sex?!”
“I just got caught up in the moment!” he said. “It was so passionate, and I just… I wasn’t thinking at all. But, I also figured it wouldn’t matter. I mean, I am going to tell him. I am. And we can live our life together, so—”
“Stereotypical cheating husband line number two. You’re definitely going to tell him, right? You won’t just string me along for as long as you can?”
“No! I can’t stand the idea of living another day without you! I’m absolutely going to
tell him as soon as possible. I can go home and tell him right now!”
“And then what?” I asked. “Is there even a precedent for this in your culture? Or, am I going to come into your village and live with you as the freaking homewrecker?” I laughed. “Why am I even indulging this conversation right now? We’re not going to be together. We both know that. I’m not really your fucking mate. You have one.”
He reached out and grabbed my hand. “But you are, Lyle, I promise. You are.”
Still, even as pissed as I was, when he touched my hand, a chill ran down my spine. I hated how deeply he affected me.
I jerked my hand back. “How the hell do you know? You thought you found your mate once, and now you think you’ve found one again? From what I can understand, that isn’t how it works.”
“Please, just let me—”
“Go,” I told him.
I could see his eyes watering up. “What?”
“You need to go. Now. I’m not going to continue to indulge any of this. Please, just leave.”
“Lyle—”
“Get out of my house!” I nearly screamed.
I had to scream it. Because I was afraid if I didn’t force him to walk out, I was going to cave. And I absolutely did not want to cave to him.
He listened, though he looked incredibly sad as he walked out the door. So sad that I almost wanted to stop him and ask him to come back.
But, no, I couldn’t do that. God, he had lied to me. He had lied to me about something huge!
I slammed the door behind him and instantly started bawling. Never in my life had I felt so stupid.
Even worse, I was disappointed.
Disappointed because I’d finally felt something I’d never been able to feel with any other guy. Finally, I’d thought I’d been experiencing love. And what I’d really experienced was… I didn’t even know. I couldn’t reconcile my feelings.
I’d been ready to leap with him. Ready to rearrange my life to be with a man I’d barely known. I guess this was my punishment for that. I shouldn’t have been so naive, so ready to jump in to something I’d known nothing about.
I regretted the sex. I’d never been a cheater. I mean, I’d never even been in a relationship where I could’ve cheated on someone, but I’d also made sure I’d never helped anyone else cheat. That wasn’t my style. I wasn’t out to hurt anyone.
Now I had hurt someone. I think Cecil had said his name was Sam. There’d been a man waiting at home for Cecil while he’d been in my bed, which was absolutely, positively disgusting.
I was disgusted with myself.
Not necessarily because of the sex. As bad as this was, as bad as I felt, I hadn't known about Sam. I’d been completely innocent in that encounter. I’d known as little as Sam had. He’d cheated us both.
What I was disgusted with was the fact that I now knew this and yet still regretted sending him away. I still wanted him to come back, to stay with me, to lie back down with me…
What was wrong with me?
7
Cecil
This may have been a complicated situation to handle, but I could be sure that I’d handled it very, very badly. In just about every respect, I had messed up.
I hadn’t been thinking things through. I had become so obsessed with Lyle and my feelings for him that I’d neglected everything else. And Lyle had every right to be pissed at me about this.
I should’ve told him. As soon as he’d accepted who I was and how my species worked, I should have come out and said I had a mate. I should have explained it in a better way…
Now he thought my feelings were a lie when nothing could be further from the truth. But would I have thought anything else in this situation? We’d barely known each other, yet he’d trusted me, and I’d basically just shouted from the rooftops that I was untrustworthy.
And when he’d accused me of not telling Sam because I’d wanted to make sure things would work out with Lyle first, he hadn’t even been wrong. That had been what I’d wanted to do. And I had stayed with Sam far longer than I should have because I’d been afraid to be alone.
Once I’d realized that Sam did not make me happy, that I wasn’t really his mate, I should have let him go. I should have been upfront with him from the start. If I had taken care of this years ago, I’d have been free to be with Lyle now. My cowardice was going to ruin my life. It already kind of had.
Not anymore, though. Now that I had experienced what being with Lyle was like, there was nothing to do but tell Sam.
I was no longer afraid of being alone. I had realized that I basically was alone. Compared to being with Lyle, I felt nothing being with Sam. I’d feel the same amount of happiness alone as I would with Sam.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping that telling Sam would help bring Lyle back to me. I most definitely wanted him back, but that wasn’t my sole reason for this. I had to tell Sam anyway. I couldn’t continue to live a lie now that I knew that living the truth felt so damn good.
And even if I couldn’t get Lyle back (just the thought of it broke my heart), I’d feel better being honest. Not that I wouldn’t hate breaking Sam’s heart, I really, really would, but he didn’t deserve me.
I wasn’t worth him, I was a horrible mate, and look how easily I’d been able to lie to him in favor of my real mate. If I stayed with him, the rest of my life would just consist of me pining for someone else.
When I got home, he was already asleep. I wanted to tell him right away, but I couldn’t bring myself to wake him up just to tell him that. It would be selfish to do. It was me trying to assuage my guilt. It wasn’t what was best for him. I needed to let him sleep. It could wait until tomorrow.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep. Not even a wink. Not when I knew just how I was going to break his heart tomorrow. Not when I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to explain the truth to Lyle.
I lay on the couch staring at the dark window until the blackness began to lighten. Again, I couldn’t crawl in bed with Sam now that I’d met Lyle. Especially not after having had sex with him… I didn’t think I could even handle a shoulder tap from Sam after that.
Whether Lyle ever forgave me or ever opened himself up to being with me again, I was committed to him. That was the nature of my biology. I’d be committed to him for the rest of my damn life whether I wanted to be or not. He was my mate. I had no choice even if I wanted to.
I didn’t know when I actually fell asleep, but it was already light outside. So, when I woke up and went hunting for Sam, I found myself at home alone. Great, now what?
I had to wait for him to get off work to speak with him, but that seemed like absolute torture. I tried to fill the time by cooking and doing things around the house, but I couldn’t stop my mind from flipping between thoughts of Sam and Lyle.
Seriously, what was I going to do about Lyle? He’d asked me to go and I’d respected that because I felt obligated to respect all of his wishes, whatever they might be. But, I also couldn’t just give up. He was my mate; if I lost him, I lost everything. Life wouldn’t even feel like it had a point without him.
I was going to have to go back tonight after I talked to Sam. It would be quite a run for me to go to his house from the edge of the forest, but I’d memorized the path. I should be able to do it in about thirty minutes in my wolf form, hopefully much shorter than that.
When I got to him, I’d tell him that I’d told Sam. And I’d explain in better terms how he really was my mate, how I’d never felt this way about Sam, that this was not a case of my biology failing me. If anything, it was my mind failing me. It had been me convincing myself that Sam had been my mate when I’d had no evidence of that.
If anything, it seemed Sam’s biology had failed him…
God, I couldn’t think about that. Or what he was going to do without me. Or how my family was going to feel about this. There was so much to worry about. If I thought too much on it, I was going to get too scared to go through with it.
When Sam finally came home from work, he looked immediately pissed at me. Which I knew was going to make this whole process harder.
“You slept on the couch again,” he said bitterly when he got home.
“You were asleep again,” I told him, as I struggled to think of what to say next.
“That’s the only reason?” he asked. “You just didn’t want to wake me?”
I couldn’t lie anymore, I knew that. If I was going to tell him everything, I had to finally be honest, and that started here.
“No… no, that’s not the reason,” I said truthfully.
He looked surprised by this, his eyebrows rising slightly. “Oh? So… what’s the reason?”
“It felt wrong to go to sleep with you,” I told him truthfully.
“…Wrong? Wrong like how?” he asked nervously. The nervousness in his voice made me so sad.
“I just… it feels intimate, to sleep in bed with someone. I looked at you in bed, and I thought of feeling intimate with you, and it just felt wrong.”
He jerked his head toward me after taking his coat off. “I don’t understand. How could it feel wrong? We’ve been intimate for years? You’re my mate, I mean, we’re in an intimate relationship.”
There was no good way to say this, no way that wasn’t going to make him feel like shit, so I just blurted it out.
“I don’t think you’re my mate, Sam.”
He looked at me seriously. “What the hell are you talking about? Of course you’re my mate. We’re… we’ve been mates since we turned eighteen.”
“Have we?” I asked. “You know we’re nothing like other mates. We don’t connect like other mates do, and I… I don’t feel it.”
He shook his head. “No, no… things just get hard in long-term relationships. We don’t see how other couples behind closed doors are. They have their difficulties, too.”
“It’s not about things being difficult,” I told him. “I can deal with difficult. I can deal with problems. It’s the fact that we’re never happy. We’re never passionate. We’re not in love like other people are. We don’t want to be around each other constantly.”