by S. J. West
“How did the two of you meet, if you don’t mind me asking?” I say, rolling the soft dough Linn made into walnut sized balls for her to roll out flat on the kitchen island’s butcher-block top.
“I used to be a very famous concert pianist in Cirro,” Linn tells me with pride in her artistic skill but not arrogance. “One night I received a dozen red roses in my room backstage. The card was simply signed ‘Your Eternal Admirer’. I was used to being lavished with gifts from men, but none of them ever sent them anonymously. Most of the men in Cirro like to flaunt their wealth, thinking it will make them more desirable. But their strategies to garner my attention never worked on me.
After that first night, I kept receiving roses from my secret admirer. Each bouquet would have one less rose until the night came when I knew only one rose was due to arrive. I have to admit that my expectations were extremely high by then. For eleven nights, I tried to imagine who my admirer might be. I can remember pacing back and forth in my room backstage that night waiting on my last rose to be delivered. I was so anxious when the knock finally came to my door that I practically jumped out of my skin. Thank goodness I didn't let my nerves prevent me from opening the door. When I did, I saw my destiny waiting for me on the other side.”
Daniel turns away from the skillet of meat cooking on the stove, lays the spatula he’s holding down on the countertop, and walks over behind Linn. He takes her by surprise as he spins her around and dips her backwards.
“I knew I couldn’t win the heart of a woman so extraordinary with just some ordinary introduction,” Daniel tells her, kissing her softly on the lips as he smiles down at her adoringly.
Bai giggles at her parents’ show of affection. I’m sure it’s something she’s probably seen displayed many times before in their own happy home.
Linn smiles at Daniel with so much love you can feel its warmth fill the room.
“I’m not sure if you won my heart or completely stole it from me,” Linn says, reaching a loving hand up and running the tips of her fingers across one of Daniel’s cheeks. “But it belonged to you the moment I saw you, and it will belong to you until the day I die.”
Linn and Daniel’s display of love for one another simply makes me miss Malcolm that much more.
As if he magically felt my need to have him close, Malcolm phases into the kitchen. My heart begins to beat so fast with excitement I feel like it’s about to leap out of my chest and run to the love of my life without me. I immediately toss the dough in my hands back into the bowl and go to him. He welcomes me with open arms and holds me close just as I wrap mine around his waist. I hear him sigh contentedly, mirroring my emotions in that instant. The warmth of his touch helps drive away the ache of our separation from inside my chest.
“Any luck?” I hear Daniel ask Malcolm.
“No,” Malcolm admits, sounding defeated. “We couldn’t find any trace of them. Desmond and Jered are still out speaking to some of our contacts, but I think our best bet will be to wait until we can meet with Baal tomorrow.”
“Will the others be back soon?” I ask Malcolm, holding onto him even tighter.
“I’m not sure,” he replies. “Why do you ask, my love? Do you need them?”
I pull back just enough to look into Malcolm’s eyes. He looks worried, and I know it’s not just worry over Lucas and Millie. He can sense something is wrong with me.
“I need to speak with all of you, preferably at one time,” I say. “God showed me some things while I was with Him, and you all need to know what it was. My past is a lot more complicated than any of us could have imagined. I just hope none of you hate me after I tell you who I really am.”
The puzzled look on Malcolm’s face disappears and all he shows me is his love.
“Nothing you could say would make me hate you, Anna. Don’t you know that by now?”
I simply lay my head back on Malcolm’s chest and hold him without answering his question. I have no idea what he will think of me once I reveal who I was in Heaven. Will he remember Seraphina? Did they even know each other in Heaven? I'm sure he will remember that Seraphina forged the first human soul. I doubt something so monumental could be kept a secret, even in Heaven. Although Lucifer was the one who actually started the war, Seraphina created the cause for his impetuous overreaction.
Daniel volunteers to round up the others for us, allowing Malcolm to stay with me.
Malcolm and I help Bai and Linn finish make the dumplings while we wait for the others to return.
There isn't much in the way of small talk as we work. Our problems aren't small and trying to fill the void we all feel with our loved ones missing just seems disrespectful. Malcolm watches me like a hawk as if he's waiting for me to crack because of the pressure I’m under. Weakness is a trait I've never possessed, and there is far too much at stake for me to inherit it now. Too many people are counting on me to remain strong and do what needs to be done in order for our lives to go back to normal, or at least something resembling normalcy.
By the time Daniel returns with Desmond, Brutus, and Jered, the dumplings are cooking, and we leave Linn and Bai in the kitchen to watch over them. It's as good an excuse as any to keep them preoccupied. I wouldn’t mind Linn learning the truth about me, but Bai is simply too young to understand all of the ramifications. Perhaps when she and Lucas are older, I'll tell them my story. I ask Vala to join us because I want her to know the truth too. She’s been with me through the most important events in my life. This one should be no exception.
Once we reach the sitting room, I tell the others, “I think you should all take a seat before I tell you what I learned from God.”
The worry in Malcolm's eyes intensifies after hearing my request, but he doesn't argue against it. All of them sit down, but I choose to remain standing and begin to tell them the story of my life in Heaven.
When I reveal who I actually was, there is a collective gasp. But they all remain silent and allow me to finish my story before asking any questions.
“You were Seraphina?” Malcolm asks, sounding astounded by this revelation in particular.
“Yes,” I answer. “Apparently, I was.”
“After Lucifer’s expulsion,” Jered says, “we wondered what happened to you, but no one would tell us. We asked God. We even asked the other guardians. None of them would say what happened to you, but we knew something did because we all felt it.”
“You felt it?” I ask. “What exactly did you feel?”
“Like our father told you,” Malcolm says, “when the other guardians restructured your soul, it affected everyone. We just didn’t know what was happening at the time. A lot of us just assumed it was an after effect of the expulsion of the rebellion angels to Earth. We all felt like a piece of us was missing. I have to say I never associated it with the creation of soulmates though.”
“It’s incredible,” Desmond says as he looks at me in wonder. “We all knew how close Seraphina and Lucifer were, but I never could have imagined you would go to such great lengths to save him. It shows just how far you’re willing to go to help someone you love, Anna. I can understand why God sent you now. If anyone can help save Lucifer from himself, it’s you. Does Lucifer know who you really are?”
“He’s known since the moment I was born,” I tell them. “He’s always known.”
“And have you told him you know the truth now too?” Malcolm asks, looking troubled by the prospect.
“Yes,” I tell him. “He knows. And after he found out, he let me use the bracelet on him.”
Malcolm’s apprehensive expression changes to one of surprise.
“And how did that go?” Malcolm asks, sounding curious about what I discovered.
I walk over to Malcolm and kneel down in front of him, resting one of my hands on his clasped in his lap.
“I know you and Lucifer have had a rocky past,” I tell him. “But his love for me is just as great as yours. He couldn’t hide his feelings from me, and he didn’t want to hide them
anymore. He took a giant step forward today and trusted me with a part of himself that he hasn’t shared with many people. Malcolm, will you help me save Lucifer from himself? Will you help me make sure Seraphina’s sacrifice wasn’t made in vain?”
Malcolm remains silent and just looks at me. His brow creases, and I can see how difficult it is for him to consider my plea.
Malcolm begins to slowly shake his head. “I don’t know if I can help you do that, Anna. I love you, but so much has passed between Lucifer and me. We’ve spent centuries hating one another. I’m not sure I can just let that go. I’ve tried to be understanding in your need to develop a relationship with him, but what you’re asking me to do might be beyond my ability. In my opinion, the only good thing Lucifer has ever done is make you.”
“I understand why you hate him,” I tell him, empathizing with Malcolm’s animosity towards Lucifer but still feeling disappointed in his refusal to aid me in my quest. “But, I think he wants to change. He just needs some support and encouragement to do it.”
“I’m not sure it’s in his nature to change,” Malcolm tells me, attempting to be gentle with his words to me. I can still hear his deep hatred for Lucifer in the undercurrent of his tone. “I’m not sure he’s strong enough to be the man you want him to be. I don’t know if he can go back to being the person he was before the war. “
“You changed,” I remind Malcolm. “You allowed the evil inside you to take over for a time, yet you found a way to overcome it. Why can’t you give him the same benefit of the doubt?”
“It’s not exactly the same,” Jered says to me. I turn my head to look back at him. “I don’t think Malcolm is saying he doesn’t want to see Lucifer ask for forgiveness. I think we all want to see that happen. It’s just hard to imagine he would do it of his own free will. If you could remember the war in Heaven the way Seraphina saw it, you would be able to understand why we think it might be impossible for Lucifer to humble himself like that to our father.”
I let go of Malcolm’s hands so I can stand and face the others.
“Like you said, Seraphina did witness the war, and she still had faith that Lucifer could be brought back to Heaven,” I tell them. “I can sympathize with what all of you went through and the fights you’ve had with Lucifer during your time here on Earth. All I ask is that you give him a chance to prove himself to you. I believe he wants to change, and I’ll do whatever he needs me to do to help him.”
“If you believe he wants to change for himself,” Malcolm says to me, “then I don’t believe it matters if we help or not. We can’t change him. Only he can do that. I may not be willing to hold his hand to help make it happen, but I won’t stand in the way of it either, if that’s what he truly wants. From my own personal experience, I know you can’t make someone change who they are just because it’s what you desire.”
“But you had Lilly to help you,” I remind Malcolm. “I simply want to help him like she did you.”
“Like I said, I won’t stand in your way. If you think you can help Lucifer, by all means, do it. I wish you luck, but I just can’t make myself actively help you. Honestly, I don’t think Lucifer would want any of our help anyway. He’s about as stubbornly independent as you are. If we tried to push him in a certain direction, I think that would work against what you want.”
I realize Malcolm is right. None of us can make Lucifer change. He has to want to change himself. No amount of wishful thinking can make him become someone he doesn’t want to be.
“I have a hard time letting things just run their natural course like God does,” I admit, recognizing one of my own weaknesses. “I always feel like I need to push to make things happen the way I want them to.”
“In this case,” Malcolm tells me, standing from his seat on the couch, “I think you need to let Lucifer come to you. I would hate to see you push him too hard and lose the chance you have to save him, if being saved is what he really wants.”
“You say that like you think he might have an ulterior motive for developing a relationship with me.”
“I’m conditioned to measure every move Lucifer makes with suspicion,” Malcolm admits. “For years, we’ve had to counter his plans with our own to stop him from doing horrible things. Sometimes our plans worked and sometimes they didn’t. We can’t afford to fail in this mission with the seals in play. They’re too powerful for any one person to have control of.”
“Even me?”
“You’re the exception to the rule,” Malcolm says. “You’re the only one I trust to have them all at one time because I know in my heart you’ll take them back to Heaven where they belong.”
“Why would God make the seals in the first place?” I ask. “What was their purpose?”
Malcolm shrugs his shoulders. “That’s something you would have to ask my father. The only thing I do know is that he doesn’t make something without having a use for it.”
The room falls silent, indicating that no one else has anything to add to what’s already been said.
“I think I should be getting back to Alto,” Brutus tells us. “Kyna might need me to save her from Bianca’s mad wedding plans.”
“Keep your eyes out for Baal to show back up there,” Malcolm tells him.
“You’ll be the first people to know if I see him,” Brutus assures us.
“We’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow then,” Malcolm says.
Brutus phases back to Alto and the rest of us go down to the kitchen to eat lunch. We find Bai sitting at the table with Luna on her lap, looking fully alert and whining.
“I think she’s wondering where Lucas is,” Bai tells us.
Luna jumps off Bai’s lap and comes to stand in front of us looking up at me questioningly. I bend down and pick her up, cradling her in my arms.
“Lucas isn’t here right now,” I tell her as she watches me closely with her bright blue eyes. “But he’ll return soon. Don’t worry. We’ll get him back.”
Luna tilts her head up and licks me underneath my chin.
I hug her tightly one more time and then put her back down on the floor next to Vala.
“Don’t worry about Luna,” Vala tells me. “You have enough on your plate as it is. I’ll take good care of her until Lucas is back with us.”
“Thank you, Vala.”
We all sit down at the table to eat some lunch, but I find that I don’t have much of an appetite. I notice most everyone at the table only picks at the dumplings on their plates.
Jered is the first to stand from the table.
“I think I’ll check out a few more leads,” he says, taking his dish over to the sink. “They probably won’t pan out but you never know.”
“I’ll come with you,” Desmond says, following Jered’s lead. “I could use something to keep my mind occupied too.”
After Jered and Desmond depart, Malcolm and I offer to help with cleaning the kitchen, but Linn shoos us away.
“Go spend some time with one another,” she tells us. “We can take care of things here.”
“Come on,” Malcolm tells me, taking one of my hands with his. “I know something we can do for Lucas while he’s gone.” Malcolm looks over at Vala and Luna. “The two of you should probably come too.”
“Luna and I?” Vala asks, sounding shocked to be included in Malcolm’s plans.
Malcolm winks at Vala. “I have a surprise in mind for Lucas. It’s something he asked me to make for him, but I think all of us can make it extra special.”
Malcolm takes us all out to his workshop.
“Lucas asked me to build him a toy chest,” Malcolm says, picking up a sheet of thick plywood that was leaning up against the wall and placing it on his worktable.
“Why would he want a toy chest?” I ask. “He already has a place for all his toys.”
Malcolm smiles. “I think he wanted one for when Bai visits. He said something about having it so she could just dump her toys in it when she gets through playing in his room.”
“Very practical of him,” I say, feeling my eyes begin to burn with tears. “And thoughtful, as always.”
I begin to sob. Malcolm comes to me and takes me in his arms.
“I miss him too,” Malcolm whispers to me. “We’ll get him back, Anna. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he’ll be returned to us unharmed.”
“How can you be so sure of that?” I ask, trying to stem the flow of my tears.
“Because Lucas saw all of us living in the palace together. He saw himself playing with Liam and Liana. So, don’t cry, my love. He’ll be with us again soon.”
I lift my head and look at Malcolm’s face.
“What if they hurt him?” I ask.
Malcolm’s expression turns ominous.
“If they want to live, they won’t. I may not be able to kill them, but I can certainly cause them pain.”
“I may not give you the chance,” I say, feeling my anger override my sorrow.
“Let’s try to keep thinking positively,” Malcolm suggests. “I think we can finish this chest today if we work together on it.”
I take in a deep breath and wipe away the tears on my face.
“What do you need me to do?”
Malcolm and I spend the rest of the afternoon and a good part of the evening constructing Lucas’ toy box. We don’t even stop to eat, but I don’t think either of us have much of an appetite anyway. Vala and Luna stay with us the entire time. Malcolm fetches a book from his study for Vala to read to us while we work. Even little Luna seems captivated by Vala’s narration of Lucas’s favorite book, Treasure Island. I’m not sure if Luna understands what is being said, or if she’s simply trying to figure out why Vala can speak and she can’t. Every so often, I hear Luna try to make a noise that mimics human speech but just comes out as an undulating whine.
By bedtime, we have the box constructed and painted a dark royal blue.
“Now for the finishing touch,” Malcolm says, taking a can of white paint and using a brush to paint a good coat of it on the inside of his right hand.