by Paul Cooper
The wing commander was in hog heaven, his immense moustache fluttering in the wind like a proud flag made entirely of facial hair. In his opinion, this was proper flying – much better than all your fancy jet engines and new-fangled, namby-pamby computer systems.
Sitting behind him, Howard was considerably less happy to be up in the air. Pale with fear, he gripped the back of Peregrine’s seat and stared intently at his own trotters, while trying not to be sick on his brother’s head.
Peregrine bellowed over the roar of the propeller. ‘So, Howard, is this valley of yours anywhere near that pyramid?’
‘There IS no pyramid in this part of the desert,’ his younger brother replied, not looking up.
Peregrine gave a scoffing laugh. ‘You can’t be a very good archaeologist, Howard! I’m no expert, but that enormous, pointy triangular thingy over there looks like a pyramid to me.’
Howard forced himself to look up and past his big brother’s hefty shoulder. He couldn’t believe his eyes – there it was, a huge stone pyramid, in a spot where before there had been no pyramid.
‘That’s not all,’ yelled Peregrine. ‘There are some animals on top of that pyramid … and I think two of them are Tammy and Brian!’
‘And THAT’S not all!’ yelled Curly, still holding on tight. ‘There’s some sort of great big door opening in the side of the pyramid and lots of creepy-looking mummies getting ready to come out of it!’
The pigs on the biplane watched in astonishment. It didn’t look like an actual doorway so much as a kind of gigantic hole in time and space. Through it, a sea of mummies – thousands of them – shambled towards the sunlight.
Pete just shrugged. ‘Well, that’s not something you see every day,’ he murmured.
Peregrine was flying the plane straight towards the top of the pyramid now. Behind him, Howard quickly took in the situation. ‘That strange-looking camel is Nokankumin!’ he gasped in amazement.
‘How can that be?’ cried Curly.
‘I don’t know,’ said the archaeologist. ‘But I’m pretty sure of one thing – we have to get that Hump away from him!’
On top of the pyramid, Tammy and Brian couldn’t believe their ears when they heard the buzz of an aeroplane. Seconds later they saw it, zooming across the sands. Although it wasn’t a SkyHog, Tammy had a feeling that the other PiPs were here to help out.
Waves of energy were coming from the Hump of Doom in the pharaoh’s hands. Whatever its mysterious power was, it seemed much, much stronger when Nokankumin was holding it …
‘POWER!’ cried the pharaoh. ‘I feel it, stronger and stronger with each passing second! Soon the Hump will be strong enough, and the gate between worlds will be flung open! BWA-HA-HA –’ Again his evil laugh ended in an evil coughing fit.
A roaring sound was coming from the Hump now, and because of this din, the pharaoh didn’t hear the sound of the approaching plane. Tammy saw that Peregrine was at the controls and Pete was flat on his tummy on one lower wing, leaning down with his trotters out at the ready.
She understood in an instant – he was going to try to grab the Hump. But would he be able to pull it from the iron grip of the mad pharaoh?
Tammy had to help. Pulling free from the mummy who held her, she jumped up a stone block and leapt for the Hump, hoping to dislodge it from Nokankumin’s grip.
‘How dare you lay a trotter on the Camel King of Kings!’ cried Nokankumin. The pharaoh held out one arm to keep her away, while he held the Hump higher with his other arm. His mummy guards were moving towards him. They too had seen the fast-approaching plane now and they were rushing to protect their master. Brian also charged forward to help his team-mate.
They all met in a giant scrum at the top of the pyramid, with everyone making a grab for the Hump of Doom. Then the air was filled with the sound of the biplane’s propeller as the aircraft whizzed overhead.
It was an almost perfect bit of flying by Peregrine. There was just one problem – he didn’t quite fly the plane high enough to clear the tallest of the mummies. The Sopwith Camel’s tail slammed into it, and this mummy smashed right into the rest of the group on top of the pyramid. All of them – pigs, pharaoh and mummies – began to fall down the stone steps. They barrelled right into the three camels who had helped to bring the pharaoh back to life. As they all tumbled down to the bottom, Brian and Tammy made most of the noise –
– all the way to the foot of the pyramid, where they landed in a huge pile. Luckily, Dick and Drom reached the bottom first and broke the others’ fall.
Nokankumin sat up and straightened his pharaoh hat. Then he fixed Tammy and Brian with an evil glare.
‘Where is my Hump?’ he spat.
Tammy just pointed a trotter up to the blue skies above. ‘My friend Pete’s got it,’ she said with a defiant smile.
Nokankumin turned to one of his servants. ‘Dispose of these pigs, mummy,’ he snarled. ‘My other mummy will soon bring me the Hump.’
Tammy glanced upwards at the plane in alarm. It was true – Pete had managed to grab the Hump, but that wasn’t the only thing from the top of the pyramid that was now on the plane.
CHAPTER 14:
Battle in the Sky
As Peregrine pulled away from the top of the pyramid, he was feeling pretty pleased with his piloting skills. Most importantly, Pete had the Hump! Peregrine gave a thumbs-up to the captain.
‘I think we need to throw the Hump into that big portal thingy!’ cried Howard into the wind.
‘Why’s that?’ asked Peregrine. ‘Did you read it in an ancient scroll or something?’
‘No,’ answered Howard. ‘I saw it in a movie!’
Suddenly, a cry came from the other wing: ‘Help!’
Peregrine looked over and saw Curly cowering against the side of the plane as a huge mummy crawled towards him. A mummy! On the plane! It must have caught on to the wing and hauled itself aboard when Pete had grabbed the Hump.
Anger surged through Peregrine. I’ll show that mummy who the daddy is! he thought.
‘Hold on tight, PiPs!’ he shouted, and he threw the plane into a corkscrew spin over the desert.
When he levelled off again, he saw that his stunt-flying had worked – it had shaken someone right off the wing. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the mummy, but Curly who had failed to hold on tight. The PiPs trainee had tumbled and landed in a sand dune below with a dull THUD!
Meanwhile, the mummy on the wing was heading for the cockpit. Peregrine was about to try to shake it off again, when Pete shouted across from the other wing.
‘Oi, mummy!’ He held the stone Hump up in one trotter. ‘If you want this, come and get it!’ Then he clambered up on to the top wing. Immediately, the mummy climbed up too, on the other side of the plane.
Now the two of them were on the top wing. The mummy let out a fearsome moan as it shuffled towards Pete.
‘Back off, mummy!’ the captain growled, sounding like the world’s worst-mannered child.
‘UHHHHHHH!’ the mummy groaned as it made a grab for the Hump of Doom. The two began to grapple. Pete was one tough hog, but it wasn’t easy competing with the forces of ancient evil. Also, the mummy was bigger and stronger. It gave Pete a mighty shove. The pig staggered backwards. Then he staggered back some more, but now he had run out of wing – he staggered right off the edge, and suddenly he was freefalling through the air, still clutching the Hump. He was hurtling towards the rocky clifftops of the Valley of the Camel Kings. ‘Whoah!’
But he didn’t go SPLAT ! In the struggle, one of the mummy’s bandages had got tangled round Pete. As he fell, this bandage unwound and unwound until it reached its full length, leaving Pete dangling helplessly below the biplane.
‘Pig overboard!’ cried Peregrine, and he furiously angled the plane to shake the intruder off. The mummy staggered backwards along the top wing, unable to keep its footing. Then it too fell off. The bandage that attached it to Pete still didn’t break; it pulled tight so that as the mummy fell, Pete s
hot upwards.
Now the PiPs captain was hanging down on one side of the plane and the mummy was hanging down on the other, with the bandage that connected them looped up and over the main part of the plane.
Under the strain of all this extra weight, the plane’s engine was beginning to cough and sputter. It wouldn’t be able to fly much longer. Pete knew he had to do something – and fast. The mummy hanging on the other side was swinging towards him, its dead grey eyes fixed on the Hump of Doom in his arms.
‘UUUHHHHHH!’ groaned the mummy.
‘You’ve already said that!’ answered Pete.
The mummy swooped closer and closer, arms outstretched. There was no way Pete could avoid it …
He looked down at the sand below and then he let go of the Hump.
CHAPTER 15:
The Oinks-Gruntingtons United
Brian and Tammy were charging across the desert away from the pyramid.
They weren’t exactly sure what Nokankumin had meant by his order to ‘dispose of the pigs’, but they weren’t keen to find out.
Brian glanced over his shoulder. Several of the mummies were chasing, but their strange shuffling walk wasn’t the most efficient way to move across sand at speed.
Unfortunately, something else was chasing them too – something much faster. Although his two assistants were still lying in an unconscious heap at the foot of the pyramid, Cam-Ho-Tep was galloping after them.
‘Faster!’ shouted Brian.
Tammy looked at the expanse of sand in front of her. ‘Er … where?’
The biplane swept into view across the horizon in front of them. The glare of the sun made it hard to see clearly, but it looked as if something was hanging down underneath it. Behind them, the sound of camel hoofsteps grew louder.
Suddenly, something fell from the plane and landed in the sand ahead of them.
‘What’s that?’ cried Tammy.
Brian squinted. ‘I think it’s –’
‘The Hump!’ cried Cam-Ho-Tep, catching up with the two pigs and grinning evilly. ‘Now nothing can stop us!’
This wasn’t exactly true. Up until this moment, Pete and the mummy were perfectly balanced as they dangled under the plane. But as soon as Pete let go of the Hump, this meant the mummy was much heavier. So Pete shot up towards the plane while the mummy dropped lower.
This final drop was too much for the bandage, which was several thousand years old, after all. It snapped and the mummy fell to the sands below.
In fact, it landed right on top of Tammy, Brian and Cam-Ho-Tep, just a second and a half after the camel had said, ‘Nothing can stop us now!’
Up in the air, Peregrine could see that the situation down on the sand wasn’t looking good. The Hump was just lying there in the sand, but neither Brian nor Tammy seemed to be moving. Nor was Cam-Ho-Tep, and for the same reason (a falling mummy on the head).
However, the mummies that had also been chasing the two pigs continued to shamble towards the Hump. Nokankumin was already striding out from the pyramid to join them.
‘What now?’ cried Peregrine. ‘Any suggestions, Captain?’
Peter Porker was back on the lower wing, but something wasn’t right with him. He just smiled strangely and said, ‘I like rainbows.’
‘Oh no! He bashed his head when he bounced back up to the plane!’ cried Peregrine. ‘What are we going to do now?’
There was nobody to answer his question now except Howard, and what good was he? His kid brother always had his head in the sand.
And yet … the archaeologist started clambering out of the cockpit on to the lower wing.
‘Get ready to fly by for the Hump!’ he told his big brother.
Peregrine understood – his brother was going to leap down and get the Hump himself. There was only one thing to say: ‘Good luck, Howard.’
Howard nodded. Peregrine brought the plane lower, almost skimming across the desert now.
‘And don’t mess up!’ added the wing commander as Howard leapt down into the highest dune. He landed head first in the sand.
Pulling his head out as quickly as he could, he scanned the desert. The pharaoh’s mummies were shuffling closer and closer towards the Hump. Gritting his teeth, Howard ran as fast as his trotters would carry him. He had to stop Nokankumin from getting his dried-up hands on that Hump again. More importantly, he had to prove to Peregrine that he could do this.
The first of the mummies was almost at the Hump. Howard put on a final burst of speed. He dived towards the Hump, scooping it in his arms and rolling clear of the mummy.
As he scrambled to his feet, he saw that he was too late. The other mummies had surrounded him.
‘UUHHHH!’ they said in a way that seemed to mean, ‘Got you!’
Nokankumin had almost joined them now. The pharaoh’s dried-up face twisted into an expression of evil gloating. ‘I believe that’s my Hump,’ he sneered. ‘If you’ll do the honours, mummy?’
The biggest of the mummies wrenched the Hump from Howard’s trotters. It was as easy as taking candy – ancient, evil candy – from a baby.
Howard could hear the plane above getting ready to swing round and fly by. It didn’t even matter. What was the point now? The mummies had the Hump.
However, the plane held its course. Could Peregrine see what was going on? What did his big brother expect him to do? Rip the Hump back from the mummy’s hands?
Howard didn’t see what he could do, unless …
As the roar of the plane grew louder, he sprang at the mummy. It tightened its vice-like grip on the Hump. But Howard wasn’t reaching for the Hump, he was reaching for the bandage that had come loose and was hanging down from the mummy’s side. Working fast, he tied the end of it into a loop and then, as the plane roared past overhead, he tossed the loop up. It went right over the plane’s tail.
As the plane zipped up and away, the bandage unravelled. This made the mummy spin, whirling round and round like a gigantic spinning top. It whizzed round faster and faster, its features a blur, blasting showers of sand in every direction.
‘Get the Hump!’ shrieked Nokankumin to the other mummies.
As an archaeologist, there were so many questions Howard had for a real pharaoh, but under the circumstances he could think of just one thing to say to the wrinkled, ancient camel: ‘Oh, pipe down, prune-features!’
The spinning mummy was going faster and faster, until … at last, the force became too much and it was unable to hold on to the Hump of Doom. The lump of stone shot out like a cannonball, just missing Howard’s head. It blasted off over the desert in the direction of the plane, which Peregrine had already begun to turn in a tight circle. Still sitting out on the wing, Pete was letting his trotters dangle over the edge and was humming lullabies.
‘OOF!’ The Hump landed right in his arms.
When he’d caught his breath, Pete looked down with a dazed smile. ‘Is it a present? Is it my birthday?’
CHAPTER 16:
Wind and Ice
All Peregrine could think of was something Howard had said: they had to throw that Hump into the giant portal on the pyramid.
Would it work? He didn’t know, but it was worth a try. Peregrine started flying right towards the doorway. Through the other side they could see thousands of mummies in the darkness – Nokankumin’s Armies of the Undead, still waiting to march out.
‘Get ready to throw the Hump!’ shouted Peregrine.
‘But it’s a present for me,’ smiled Pete, still completely out of it after his bash to the head.
Peregrine thought fast. ‘It’s a woolly hat, Pete!’ he cried. ‘An UNCOOL woolly hat. Throw it!’
This message got through to the captain, who hurled the Hump with all his might. At the same time, Peregrine threw the plane into a steep climb. The Hump of Doom plopped right into the portal creating lots of zappy lights that would have made brilliant special effects in a movie.
‘Wheeee!’ cried Pete, enjoying the plane ride as if he was on a r
ollercoaster.
As soon as the Hump disappeared, it was as if a switch had been thrown. But this switch didn’t click the lights on – it triggered a gale-force wind that seemed to suck everything back towards the portal like the world’s most lethally powerful vacuum cleaner.
The biplane wobbled, but held its course. Down on the ground, the same was not true for the mummies or their pharaoh leader. They seemed powerless to stop themselves from being pulled back towards the giant portal.
Howard felt himself swept along too. He slammed right into Tammy and Brian, who were just waking up to find themselves in the middle of a sandstorm.
‘Grab my trotter!’ cried Brian.
The pigs huddled together, holding on to Cam-Ho-Tep and doing their best to keep their feet on the ground.
Nokankumin tumbled past them through the air.
‘Oh, it’s just not fair, oh!’ cried the pharaoh helplessly. ‘I want my mummies!’
As the sandstorm became stronger and stronger, the pigs could feel their trotters lifting off the ground. Any moment now and they would be sucked towards the giant doorway too.
But then, over the roar of the wind, came the jaunty sound of chimes. A squarish shape appeared through the sandstorm. It was an ice-cream van! An ice-cream van with a picture of a penguin on the side!
Curly was hanging out of the open hatch, with a lolly in one trotter. ‘It wasn’t a mirage!’ he cried. ‘It’s real ! They picked me up after I fell out of the plane!’
The other PiPs and the camel huddled behind the bulk of the parked ice-cream van and looked towards the pyramid. They were just in time to see Nokankumin and his mummies disappear into the portal. Its shape and size no longer looked stable. At the same time, the pyramid was beginning to buckle and collapse in on itself. Great stone blocks crumbled and fell as the structure returned to the timeless sand.