by Joy Redmond
“What am I going to do, Grammy?” Tori stammered, shaking her head in disbelieve. “Oh, lord, what am I going to do?”
Grammy’s eyes narrowed as she replied, “First you’re going to act like an adult and accept responsibility for your actions. This is no time for drama. This is a time to face reality.”
Tori dropped her head in Grammy’s lap and sobbed. “It may be time to face reality, but at the moment, I just want to die. I’ve ruined my life – not to mention Wes’.”
Grammy said softly, but firmly. “Wes had as much to do with this as you did, and no one’s life has been ruined. You can throw your pity party for a little while. Then when you’re done, we’ll talk more about all this.”
With her head still in Grammy’s lap, she mumbled. “My life is over, just over,” wiping her nose on Grammy’s apron tail.
Grammy patted Tori’s head gently and sighed. “Your life isn’t over, sweet. Your life is just beginning.” She took both of Tori’s hands, pulled her close, and kissed her cheek. “You go home, pack some clothes, and then come back out here. We’ll work this out together – and don’t say anything to anybody until I tell you to. Understand?”
“Okay, Grammy,” Tori answered, drying her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Come back within a week – no longer. You understand?”
“I understand,” Tori said, her mind spinning.
Tori walked slowly to her car, slid under the wheel, and waved at Grammy as she headed down the long driveway, tears streaming and her heart breaking.
“Get me out of this mess, Grammy,” she mumbled. Then realized it was a stupid thing to say. Grammy could see the future, but she couldn’t wave a wand – and poof – make her un-pregnant!
Tori’s nerves were causing her to think like the sacred senseless kid she felt like at that moment. A pregnant virgin! What a joke! She had hit a home run and she didn’t know she was up to bat.
Anna’s Note
May 15, 1975
This was a heartbreaking day for Tori – and me, too. Tori is in denial about being pregnant, but the vision was clear and she has no choice now. She has to grow up and accept the consequences of her actions – but I’m worried about what Wes will do when he finds out. I’m afraid things are about to get ugly.
Anna West-Morgan
Chapter Seven
Tori couldn’t seem to tear herself away from the agony of finding out she was pregnant without even having had sex. It all seemed so unfair. She left Grammy’s and drove back home in a fury.
After she parked Momma’s car, she went upstairs and paced her bedroom floor for what seemed like hours. Every now and then she stopped and looked out the window. Down below, the lawn was a smooth carpet of green – something Daddy always took pride in.
The ancient maple tree stood in the center of the yard, just as it always had and she smiled as she remembered the many snowmen she and Jill had built under it over the years. That memory triggered fresh tears as she realized that her childhood was gone forever. She was too young to be a mother!
Mechanically, she walked back to the bed, sat on the edge, hugged a pillow, and whispered. “God, please help me!”
A wave of nausea swept over her. She ran to the bathroom and hung her head over the commode just in time. She retched until she felt muscles pull in her sides. When it was over she rested her head on the rim of the commode for a moment. Then she heard the second step crack. Oh, holy crap, somebody was coming upstairs!
“Tori, are you up here?” Jill yelled as she reached the top landing.
Before Tori could answer, another wave of nausea hit her.
Jill came running into the bathroom, crying, “Tori, are you okay?”
Tori’s head was still hanging over the commode, but she crocked, “Could you hand me a washcloth?”
As Jill wet a washcloth and handed it to Tori, she asked, “What’s wrong? Was it something you ate?”
“No,” Tori whimpered, slumping to the floor. “It’s worse than that.”
“What? Jill asked, kneeling beside Tori, pulling Tori’s hair from her face.
Tori paused for a moment, remembering that Grammy had told her not to tell anyone – but Grammy couldn’t have meant Jill. Surely!
Tori looked up at Jill and whispered, “I’m pregnant.”
Jill’s eyes bugged. “You’re what?” she asked, as if Tori had announced she was dying of cancer.
“You heard me. I’m pregnant!” Tori said. “Grammy told me not to tell anybody, but you’re my best friend and I need to tell someone.”
“I’m sure Grammy won’t mind you telling me.” Jill gently wiped Tori’s hair away from her face again. “Have you talked about what you’re going to do?”
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do,” Tori said firmly. “Or make that what we’re going to do. You’ve got to help me get enough money for an abortion. I called our friend, Dottie. She confided in me a couple years back and told me she had gotten an abortion because she knew her daddy would throw her out of the house or kill her. Anyway, she gave me the name of a doctor in Louisville, the price and she said I could have it done and be on my way back home within an hour–”
Jill’s eyes narrowed and she didn’t let Tori finish, “Oh, no. I’m sorry, but I won’t have any part of abortion! I can’t believe you would even consider it. I’d walk through hell’s fire for you, but not this! It’s against all I stand for.”
Tori bristled as she always did when somebody disagreed with her. “Jill, it’s only an embryo. A microscopic dot. If it were a fetus it would be different.”
“Embryo or fetus, it’s the same to me!” Jill boldly stated. Then she cocked her head and whispered, “Shh, listen. I heard the second step crack. Somebody is coming upstairs!”
They heard Wes’ voice from the stairway. “Tori, are you up here?”
Tori jumped up, grabbed Jill’s arm. “Holy Toledo! What am I going to do? I can’t let him see me like this!”
“Stay here,” Jill said, “I’ll stall him for you.”
Jill poked her head out of the bathroom. “Hi, Wes. What are you up to?”
“Nothing much. Where’s Tori?”
“Oh, that will stall him,” Tori said. She pushed her way around Jill, stepped out of the bathroom, and said softly, “Wes, we need to talk.”
Before he could respond, Tori felt another wave of nausea and rushed back to the commode.
Wes hurried to her side and patted her back while she retched. After a few minutes, he looked up at Jill, chuckled, and said, “What did she do, eat her own cooking?”
Tori wiped her face, raised her head, looked into Wes’ eyes. “No, you jackass. I’m pregnant – and it’s your fault!” She threw the washcloth at him and screamed, “I hate you!”
Wes backed against the wall, his face white as chalk, and his lips a blue-gray, as if all the blood had drained from his body.
“That – that can’t be,” he mumbled.
“Yeah, I guess it can be, since I am!” Tori yelled as she pulled herself to her feet, and whacked Wes on the arm as she pushed her way passed him.
He grabbed her arm. “I don’t know what kind of stupid game this is, but you can’t be pregnant. We didn’t–”
Tori’s eyes narrowed as she cut him off. “You don’t have to tell me what we did and didn’t do. I was there, remember?” She ran to her bedroom, sat on the bed, and buried her face in her hands. “I just want to die!” she wailed, flopping backward on the bed.
Wes stood in the doorway. “Tori, give it up. I can’t believe that you’re pregnant.” He paused for a minute, then asked, “Have you been to a doctor?”
Tori sat up, her anger rising, and yelled, “No, I haven’t been to a doctor – because I don’t need a doctor to tell me what I already know. I’m a little over two weeks late and I’m never late. And I was puking my guts out when you came up here – in case you didn’t notice!”
She threw a pillow at Wes, but he swatted it away.
>
The look of disbelief on Wes’ face made Tori even angrier, so she yelled, “Grammy had a vision and saw the baby.” Before Wes could respond, she added, “And don’t you try to tell me that Grammy is just a crazy old lady – because she’s not!”
“I wasn’t going to say that,” Wes replied. “But vision or no vision, Tori, you can’t be pregnant. I don’t know what kind of vision your grandmother saw, but I know it couldn’t have been my baby.”
Rage spread through Tori’s body like wild fire as she screamed, “You stinking pile of sheep dip! What do you mean it’s not your baby?”
Wes lowered his voice, but for the first time since they’d been together, she saw his temper flare as he said, “Look, Tori, I’m not accusing you of anything. I just mean you’re not pregnant – with my baby or anybody else’s baby. So don’t get on the warpath with me!”
“Look, I don’t want to argue with you, Wes,” Tori said, shaking her head. “This isn’t the time for us to fight. This is serious business, and I need your help.” She wiped a tear. “Grammy wants me to come back to her house until we’ve figured this thing out, but no matter what happens, I need you with me.”
Wes didn’t answer her for a moment, so Tori looked at Jill. “I need you to come, too.”
Jill wiped away her tears and put her arms around Tori. “Of course I’ll come with you.”
Wes walked over to the bed and joined the group hug. “I’ll come too. If you two can stop crying, we can get going right away.”
“Okay.” Tori crawled off the bed. “I don’t know why Grammy wants me out there. I can’t hide my condition forever, and I can’t hold up out there until the baby is born.”
Wes said, “Come on. Let’s find out what she has in mind.”
Wes drove out to the farm, glancing into the rearview mirror every now and then to check on Tori, since she had chosen to sit in the back seat with Jill. “Only child syndrome. You spoiled brat!” he mumbled.
“Spoiled brat!” Tori had the urge to whack the back of his head.
Wes parked his car next to Poppy’s pickup. Grammy and Poppy sat on the porch, as if they’d been waiting a long time. It hadn’t occurred to Tori that Grammy would have told Poppy what was going on yet. Again, anger filled her. She was mad at Grammy for blabbing to Poppy, she was mad at Wes, she was mad at herself, and she was mad because she wasn’t in control.
Tori got out of the car and slammed the door so hard the car rocked. Wes quickly grabbed her arm. “Tori, I’m tired of your dramatic fits, and I won’t put up with you acting like a spoiled brat anymore. We’ll get through this, but–”
He didn’t finish his sentence. “Ya’ll come on in the house,” Grammy yelled, pushing from the swing, using Poppy’s leg for support. “I’ve got lemonade made, and I’ll pour us some. We’ve got a lot of talking to do.”
Grammy headed inside with Poppy right behind her.
As they neared the porch, Wes took Tori’s elbow and spun her around. “Tori, I’ve had all the attitude I’m going to take from you. Either you shape up or you can face the music by yourself. Don’t make me show my bad side in front of your grandparents.”
Tori’s eyes widened but she didn’t jerk away. She was seeing a side of Wes that she didn’t know he had – and she knew he was serious.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m upset, scared, and – oh, let’s go inside and hear what they have to say.”
“That’s better,” Wes said, letting go of her elbow and taking her hand.
They joined Grammy and Poppy at the long oak table in the kitchen. Tori and Jill sat opposite Grammy and Poppy, and Wes sat at the end of the table, his arms crossed over his chest as if he were waiting to be attacked by Tori’s grandparents.
Finally, Poppy looked Wes in the eyes, his voice kind but firm as he said, “I just want to know one thing, Wes. Do you love Tori?”
Wes didn’t break eye contact and his voice was strong as he replied, “Yes, sir. I love her with all my heart. I’ve always loved her and I’ll love her till the day I die, but I’m not ready to get married. And I’m not going to believe Tori is pregnant until she sees a doctor and he confirms it.” He eyed Grammy, and continued, “No offense, but I need more proof than one of your visions.”
Tori totally lost her cool. “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth, you scumbag! I hate your rotten guts!” She picked up a saltshaker and threw it at Wes. Then she jumped from the chair, but she froze in her tracks when Poppy yelled at her, something he had never done.
“Tori Ann Hicks! You sit your high-tempered butt down – and if you throw anything else, I’ll turn you across my knee. Sit!”
Tori sat down, her face burning with anger.
Grammy stared at Wes for a long moment, then said, “I know that you don’t know me very well, but I can tell you that anyone who doubts me is generally sorry they did. You don’t have to believe my vision, but you do have to use some common sense. Tori is two weeks late, and I’m telling you she is pregnant!”
There was another long pause before Grammy continued, “This isn’t the first time a girl has gotten pregnant without what we used to call ‘going all the way.’ It’s rare but it happens.”
“I’m listening,” Wes answered, rubbing his temples and shaking his head as he fought back his own tears. “I suppose it could happen – but if she’s pregnant, I can’t accept the entire blame. I’m not the only one who was involved. Tori–”
Poppy held up his hand, stopping Wes in mid-sentence. “Hold on boy. This isn’t a crime. It’s something that happens between young people who love each other.” He paused for a moment, and then added, “If you love Tori as you say you do, I think you should do the decent thing and marry her.” Before Wes could respond, Poppy concluded, “And for the record, I’ve been married to Grammy for more than fifty years, and I can tell you that her visions are never wrong.”
Tori said through her tears of anger and confusion, “Poppy, I don’t want Wes to marry me just because he has to.”
Wes looked at Tori with tears rolling down his face. “Tori, I don’t have to do anything. If I marry you, it’ll be because I want to – but you just told me that you hated me and wouldn’t marry me if I was the last man on earth.”
Tori felt ashamed for having said such mean things. “Wes, you know I love you with all my heart. Sometimes I get mad and say things I don’t mean.” She waited for a response, but Wes just sat in silence, so she continued. “I just want to know that you’d be marrying me because you really want to, that’s all.”
Wes firmly replied, “I know you’re always saying things you don’t mean, but don’t ever say you hate me again – no matter how mad you get. I won’t put up with anymore of your outbursts. Understand?”
Tori stared at Wes, her eyes pooling, and for the first time since she met him she was terrified she was losing the man she truly loved because she had pushed him too far with her acid tongue. “Yes, I understand. I’m sorry. I just lose my temper and I can’t seem to control it a times. I’m scared, confused, ashamed – and I’m mad!”
Wes stood, walked over to her, tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. “Tori Ann Hicks, will you marry me?”
Tori jumped up, threw her arms around his neck, and cried, “Of course I will! I just didn’t want to straddle you with a baby–”
Wes placed his finger to her lips. “First you’ve got to stop acting like a baby yourself. I don’t need two.” He looked into her eyes and asked, “Do you think you can learn to be a mother instead of a spoiled little kid.”
Tori nodded and whispered, “I’m not excited about all this, but what’s done is done – and I think we’ll make great parents. I love you.”
As Wes held her and kissed her tenderly, Grammy wiped her eyes with her apron and said, “Okay, now that’s settled, next weekend, you’ll go across the border into Illinois, and get married where you don’t need parental consent if you’re sixteen or older. All you’ve got to do is get a blood test
, take the results to the courthouse, apply for a marriage license, and then go down the hall to see the Justice of the Peace. That’s it!”
Poppy smiled. “One more thing, kids. You’ll have to keep mum about it until it’s done. We don’t need Ed and Mona or Wesley’s parents on the warpath!”
“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Tori said, looking at Wes, who nodded in agreement.
Jill wiped her nose on her shirttail and blew a hard breath as if her lungs were about to explode.
Tori hugged Jill. “You can breathe now. It’s all settled. Thanks for being here with me.”
Jill patted Tori’s hand. “Like where else would I be when my best friend is in a dilemma?”
Grammy reached across the table for Tori’s other hand, “Next weekend and wham-bam it’ll be done.” She banged her hand on the table as if it were a gavel.
“Verdict rendered,” Tori mumbled, and she wanted to say, Wham-bam and I didn’t even get a thank you ma’am.
“If that’s all, may we go now?” Wes asked. “We’ve got a lot to talk about, and all this is going to change a lot for me.”
Grammy replied, “That’s all we have to say, except that we’re here for you and we’ll do whatever we can to help.”
Poppy stood and extended his hand. “Wes, I know you well enough to know you’d do the right thing. I know it’s been a shock and that it’s going to take some adjustment, but you’re going to do just fine.”
Poppy walked to Tori’s side and put his arm around her shoulder. “Sorry I yelled at you, but you need to be taken down a notch or two sometimes. I’ve got the red hair and the temper, too, but it got me into a lot of trouble when I was young.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Life is easier when you get your temper under control.”
“You can say that again,” Grammy said with a laugh. “It took years to break him, but I did.” She laughed again. “It was like breaking a bucking bronco!”
They all laughed, and then said their goodbyes, but there was still very little talk in the car on the way home.