by Joy Redmond
When they reached the parking lot, Tori pounced into the front seat of Cody’s Buick LaSaber and announced, “Look out, world, I’m coming home!”
With the radio blasting, Tori was lost in a world of her own, secure in the knowledge that her husband always knew exactly what pills would make her feel better. She sang along with the music and bounced in rhythm.
Cody chuckled. “You’re higher than the cost of living!”
A few hours later, they pulled into a gas station. “I’ve got to gas up and pee. Do you want something to snack on?”
“I’ve got to pee, too, but I’m not hungry,” Tori said, patting her thighs in rhythm with the music.
“Get out and go, already,” Cody said.
Tori headed for the women’s restroom, skipping happily across the pavement. When she had finished, she waited for Cody in the car.
A few minutes later, Cody appeared, carrying two small bags of potato chips and two Cokes. He handed Tori the cold Coke can and tossed a bag of chips into her lap. “You better eat these!”
As they resumed the trip, Tori ate the chips, but they didn’t taste right, and neither did the Coke. “Have you got anything for a sick stomach,” she asked, rubbing her palm over her mid-section. “Man, I hope I don’t puke.”
Cody pulled the pill pouch from his pocket, steered the car with his forearms, fished through the pouch, and handed her two pills.
“What are these,” she asked, turning them over in her palm.
“Phenergan. 12.5 ml,” he said, as if it was supposed to mean something to her, but she didn’t know one pill from another.
Tori swallowed the pills and within a few minutes she began to feel drowsy. Yawning, she said, “I’m going to take a little nap.” She climbed into the back seat closed her eyes, and visions of Grammy danced before her.
“Grammy, sweet Grammy,” she mumbled. Then Jill’s face and angelic smile seemed to be stuck to the back of her eyelids. Tori wrapped her arms around herself as she imagined Momma holding her like she used to when Tori was a small, sick child. She really, really wanted her mommy. And Daddy, too. Soon, she’d see them all, she thought, and drifted into darkness.
Anna’s Note
June 10, 1976
I got up early this morning, even after an almost sleepless night. Where is Tori? It’s been two weeks and no one has heard a word. There’s something wrong – there has to be.
Even as I sit here in the quiet of my kitchen, I can find no peace. My morning coffee brings no warmth to my soul. Even without a vision, I know that Tori is in trouble – big trouble. My heart is aching.
Tori, where are you? Why don’t you call – or better yet, why don’t you come home? Where is your head, Tori? How much more can my heart stand?
Anna West-Morgan
Chapter Twelve
Tori lay in the back seat, sleeping soundly, but she awoke when the car made a sharp turn, and she almost rolled onto the floor. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, not sure where she was for a few moments. Then she remembered that she was Tori Baxter and on her way home – but she didn’t recognize any of the scenery.
Cody pulled the car into a parking space in front of a large brick building.
“Where are we, Cody? This isn’t Madison.”
“We’re home, baby,” he said, turning off the ignition and looking at her with a smile.
“Home?” she shrieked. “This isn’t home! I thought we were going to–”
“I don’t care what you thought,” he said flatly. “This is your home now. You live in Atlanta, Georgia – and that’s our apartment up there. 2B.”
Tori stared at the large building as if she were looking at a brick monster that was about to swallow her alive.
Cody stepped out of the car and then opened the back passenger door.
Tori was so stunned that she couldn’t make her body move. “Atlanta?” she finally whispered.
Cody took her arm and literally pulled her out of the car, saying, “That’s right – Atlanta, baby. Home sweet home! Let’s go inside.”
Tori heard a woman’s voice call, “Hey, Cody! Welcome home!”
“Hey, Emma,” Cody said, putting his arm around Tori’s waist. “Come on over here. I want you to meet my wife.”
The heavyset woman, who looked to be in her early thirties dressed in blue shorts and a man’s tank top, walked barefoot toward the car.
Tori managed to smile. Was Emma kinfolk? Cody had never told her about his family. Or at least she didn’t remember him mentioning family.
“This is our neighbor, Emma,” Cody said, giving Emma a sideways hug. “She lives just below us.”
Emma extended her chubby hand toward Tori. “Nice to meet you, honey.” She playfully punched Cody’s shoulder. “Boy, you sure know how to pick them. She’s a beauty, that’s for sure.” Emma patted Tori’s arm and said warmly, “Anything you need, you just come to me, okay?”
“Thank you, Emma,” Tori said as pleasantly as she could. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”
Cody opened the trunk, took their suitcases, and yelled over his shoulder, “Emma, have you gotten any calls from people about their prescriptions?”
“Sure did,” she replied. “I wrote them all down for you. Some of them sounded a little desperate, but I told them you’d be back today, and I assured them that you’d get their medicine to them as soon as possible.” She smiled proudly and continued, “Oh, and the store says your new waterbed should be here in about four days. The repair shop called, too. Your motorcycle is fixed, so you can pick it up when you want. I think that’s all.”
As Cody picked up the suitcases and started toward the stairs, he winked at Emma. “Thanks, Emma, you’re a good girl. We’ll see you later.”
“You’re very welcome. I was glad to help. Do you need any help with the luggage? I’m a workhorse, you know. I can lug anything.”
“We’ve got it, Emma. Thanks anyway.”
“Okay then,” Emma said. “You know you can call on me anytime.”
“Thanks again, Emma,” Cody said, as if she were starting to irritate him. He motioned to Tori with his head. “Well, are you coming?”
Tori picked up the small suitcase and dutifully followed Cody up the stairs, feeling as if she were sleepwalking. This definitely wasn’t the home she had expected to wake up to, but she didn’t know what to do about it.
Cody unlocked the door, pushed it open, but had to nudge Tori to get her to step into the apartment. Inside, Tori saw a spacious kitchen with a shiny parquet floor. Oak cabinets and avocado appliances lined the walls. It was nice, but strangely she didn’t see a table or any chairs.
Following Cody’s lead, she turned to the right and entered the living room with its thick beige carpet. All she saw was a TV and a large rack of stereo equipment. No chairs, no couch, no other furniture at all.
Cody nudged her again, and she turned and followed him down a hallway, and into the biggest bedroom she’d ever seen. A full-size blow-up mattress sat in the center of the room. One wall was lined with cardboard boxes, but there was no other furniture in there, either.
She took a few more steps into the master bedroom, which was bigger than her bedroom in Madison, and then continued toward a door which must have led to the bathroom.
She stood in the bathroom looking at the bare walls. There wasn’t even a bathmat set. She eyed an empty towel rack by the shower stall with sliding glass doors. She liked the double sink and ample counter space, but the counter was bare, too. There was no sign of hominess or decoration anywhere to be seen.
A moment later, Cody was by her side. “Follow me.”
He led her out of the bedroom, down the hallway, and into a second bedroom, which was completely empty. Tori was more confused. Had Cody just moved in or was he in the process of moving out? An eerie feeling crept up her spine.
Cody ushered her a few more feet down the hall and showed her a second bathroom which had the largest tub she had ever seen. Two people could sit in it wi
th plenty of leg room. It also had double sinks and six doors under the counter top. A wall mirror above the sinks went for one end of the counter to the other. She opened a door beside the commode. It was a closet with shelves that went from floor to ceiling. Tori finally managed to say, “This place is huge. You sure have plenty of space.”
“We have plenty of space,” he corrected. “This is your home, too, remember?”
Tori heaved a heavy sigh. “Yeah, that’s right.”
Looking around, Cody said, “I’ve never had time to buy furniture and all that, but you can decorate it anyway you want. I’ll give you the money and you can go hog-wild!” He gave Tori a charming smile and raised his eyebrows up and down as if he were expecting some enthusiasm from her. But she had none to give.
She just nodded and turned back toward the master bedroom, where she flopped down on the air mattress, covered her face with both hands, and began to shake as if she were freezing to death, even though the apartment was sickly hot and stuffy from being shut up for two weeks.
Finally, she looked up at Cody, who was leaning against the frame of the bedroom doorway. “Cody, I want to go home – and I mean my home in Madison!”
“Tori, shut the hell up!” He rushed forward and before Tori could protest shoved two pills into her mouth, as if he had anticipated her reaction.
He kept his hand over her mouth and forced Tori to swallow the pills with no water.
“Now you just sit there for a few minutes and calm down. I’m going to take you to Madison, tomorrow, but first we both need a good night’s rest.”
“Can I at least call Grammy,” she asked. Her voice sounded small, like a child pleading for permission, and her body began to shake with sobs.
“All right!” he said in exasperation. “Get it out of your system before you drive me crazy, and I choke the living snot out of you!”
His tone was frightening, and Tori’s hand shook as she bent down and reached for the phone on the floor beside the bed.
Suddenly, she felt Cody’s hand taking the receiver away as he said, sweetly but firmly, “You’ll need to use the wall phone in the kitchen. This one isn’t working right, so you won’t get a good connection.” He pulled her to her feet and hugged her briefly. “Just give yourself a few minutes to calm down before you call. You don’t want to upset Grammy, do you?”
“You’re right,” Tori said, returning his hug halfheartedly. “I’ll wait a few minutes.”
“That’s a good girl.” He gave her a peck on the lips. “Tomorrow I’ll take you to see your family, okay?”
Although Tori was amazed at how quickly his mood changed, she nodded, hugged him tighter, and rested her head on his chest. A few minutes later, she began to feel a rush, and her own mood became much brighter.
She jerked her head erect as if she had been goosed, and her voice was an octave higher when she heard herself say, “Am I really going tomorrow – to Madison, to my real home?”
“That you are, my sweet magnolia blossom!” he replied with a smile and patted her bottom.
Tori ran into the kitchen, grabbed the phone, and dialed Grammy’s number. Her throat was dry and she needed something to drink, but the phone cord wasn’t long enough to reach a cabinet in search of a glass, and she couldn’t reach the sink either, so she decided to wait.
She tapped her foot nervously as the phone rang. “Come on, Grammy. Where are you?”
Finally, she heard Grammy’s voice come on the line. “Hello,” Grammy said, slightly out of breath.
“Hi, Grammy! It’s me, Tori! Boy do I have news! I can hardly believe it myself! I met a great man in Florida – and we got married! He has this huge apartment, but I’ll be coming home to see you–”
“Whoa, slow down, sweet,” said Grammy. “Let’s start from the beginning. Did you say you got married?” She paused like she was waiting for a punch line or something. It wasn’t a joke, so Tori also kept silent. Grammy gasped. “Well, I–”
“I’ll tell you all about it when I get there,” Tori interrupted, “but as soon as I hang up, I’m going to call Momma and Daddy and Jill and–”
“Tori Ann, are you drunk?”
Tori was so stunned she couldn’t find her voice for a second. Her feelings hadn’t been hurt that badly since Poppy had yelled at her. “I’m not drunk – I’m sorry, Grammy,” she said, and dropped the receiver as she burst into tears. What was wrong with Grammy? Why would she think that? Why didn’t she seem happy to hear her voice?
Tori sat on the floor, buried her face in her hands, her tears flowing freely. A few moments later, Cody walked into the kitchen and violently yanked her onto her feet.
“Shut the hell up before I really give you something to cry about!” he said, as if scolding a little child. “I don’t want to hurt you, Tori. Don’t make me!”
Suddenly, Tori was seized by an uncontrollable panic, but as she turned to run, Cody caught her arm and spun her around. She struggled to pull free, but his grip was too strong.
“I’ve got to get out of here!” she pleaded. “I can’t breathe. I need air!”
Cody jerked her face close to his and said through clenched teeth, “Stop fighting me, Tori. I’m stronger than you are, and don’t you ever try to run away from me again – do you hear me? Never!”
Tori shut her eyes, and then fell forward as if she were going to faint.
Cody caught her and held her, gently stroking her hair. His voice was soothing as he said, “Okay let’s go outside and get some air.”
He led her outside and to the car. “Get in baby.” His voice sounded as if it were laced with honey. “A tour of Atlanta will make you feel more at home. You’re going to enjoy it here. I promise.”
As they pulled away from the apartment complex, Tori felt as if she was disconnected from her body. Everything in Atlanta was totally different from what she was used to in Madison. There were no small houses with trees and flowers. Huge buildings seem to reach the sky.
Park benches were on every corner. Large city buses seemed to be sending up smoke signals from the exhaust, writing them in a foreign language. The fumes and the smell made her feel sick to her stomach. She blinked as Cody drove past a shrub beside a sidewalk café. She swore she saw it wave. She raised her hand to wave back but realized it would be silly to wave at a shrub. “Wow, I’ve never seen anything like Atlanta.”
“The best is yet to come, baby.” Cody reached over and squeezed her hand. He took her to a place called Atlanta Underground and he was right – Tori enjoyed the music and the people. Everybody was friendly and the drinks seemed to take the edge off her hysteria. She was calm and having such a good time that Madison didn’t enter her mind.
When they returned to the apartment at midnight, she felt as if she were floating weightless in space – and she liked it. It was a feeling like no other she had ever experienced. So she told herself that from that night on, whenever her emotions started to get the better of her, she’d regain control with what Cody called vodka with dark eyes – or was it Dark Eyes vodka?
The air mattress felt like a fluffy cloud as she lost consciousness.
* * * *
The next thing Tori knew it was morning. She felt Cody roll off the mattress, and as she opened her eyes, she saw him looking down on her as if she were a prize he’d won at a carnival.
He chuckled, shook his head, and said with a smile, “You’re adorable, but you can be a pain in the butt at times.” He turned and left the room, but soon returned with a glass of orange juice.
“Hey, little darlin’, it’s time to rise and shine. Here’s some juice,” he said as Tori rose on her elbows. He sat beside her, rubbed his temples, and added, “I really don’t feel up to the drive to Madison, today, but I promised, and I know you won’t give me a minute’s peace until I do.”
Tori smiled, thinking he could take her, or she’d catch a bus. Either way, she had no intention of staying in that apartment one more day, and she wasn’t coming back to Atlanta with
him.
Cody began to pace the floor, rubbing the back of his neck as if he were trying to figure out a complicated problem. Then he looked at Tori. “You know, I just might like being a part of a real family.”
His expression changed as he started pacing again and rambling, as if talking to himself. “I feel hollow inside. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a real human with organs, blood, and guts, or just an empty shell.”
What does he mean about being an empty shell? she wondered, and then she realized she knew absolutely nothing about him.
Finally, he turned and looked at her again. “Okay, sunshine. Get out of bed. We’ve got a long trip ahead of us.”
Tori rolled off the mattress and tried to stand, but her head was spinning and it was hard to hold her eyes open. She opened her mouth but her tongue wouldn’t work and she couldn’t say anything.
Cody walked up behind her, wrapped his left arm around her neck, pried her mouth open with his right hand, and pushed two capsules into her mouth. She gagged momentarily, but she managed to swallow them.
“I know how you feel, little darlin’,” he said forcefully. “I’ve been there many times – but I just gave you the cure. Soon you’ll feel like a million dollars.”
“Fine,” Tori managed to say as she staggered toward the bathroom.
Soon, she was feeling great again and found herself singing as she showered. “Home, home, home. I’m a going home!”
Once she’d gotten dressed, she picked up her clutch bag with the broken clasp which didn’t stay closed, and practically ran out of the apartment, down the steps, and to the car, where she jumped into the front seat and turned the radio up. “Okay! Let’s roll! Next stop – Madison!”
Cody drove out of the complex, but as they approached the street, he seemed unsure which way to turn. As he thought about it, Tori pulled down the visor to check her makeup – and a white business-size envelope fell into her lap. She shoved it to the side, saying, “Your mail is between the seats.”