by Joy Redmond
“Sure. I don’t want to leave you, either. I want to grab you, hold on to you, and never let go.” Jill gathered Tori in her arms, rocked back and forth as if she were a tiny baby. “Never leave me again, Tori. Promise?”
“I promise. You promise never to leave me?” Tori rested her forehead against Jill’s.
“Till death do us part,” Jill answered.
“Till death do us part,” Tori repeated.
Jill yawned and stretched her arms over her head. “I’m beat. Set the alarm for seven o’clock. Okay?”
Tori set the alarm. Only after her head hit the pillow did she realize how exhausted she really was, but even as tired as she was, thoughts of the last three months kept tumbling through her mind and kept her from falling asleep.
She tossed and turned as a terrifying jumble of images flashed before her eyes. Finally, she eased out of bed, careful not to wake Jill, and headed down the hall, thinking that a long soak in the bathtub would ease the tension and relax her. She wanted a good night’s sleep without pills or booze. Those demons were behind her, too.
As the water filled the tub, Tori undressed, grabbed a towel and washcloth, and stepped in. She turned off the tap and lay back in the clear water glistening with bath oil, letting it relax her. She was home. She was safe. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking of Wes. Her cheeks grew hot. She told herself that she had to stop her thoughts of him – but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
When the water became cool, Tori climbed from the tub, vigorously towel dried, and slipped into her pajamas. Then she quietly made her way downstairs and into her dad’s study, where she found a pen and some paper and sat at the desk. She rested her chin in her left hand as she thought, chewing on the pen and drumming her fingers on the desktop.
Then she began to write, and once she started, the words seemed to fly out of the pen as if they were being written by someone else. When she was done, she picked up the paper and read the words. At first she started to wad it up and toss it into the trash, but then she reread it and her vision blurred with tears.
Hello Wesley, my dear friend,
How I would love to see you again.
If I could hear your tender voice,
Laughing and singing, I would rejoice.
I’ve finally shed my last bitter tear
Over heartaches from the past year.
I’m feeling fresh and almost new,
The missing link … is you.
I’m needing you, if you need me at all,
Pick up the phone and give me a call.
Tori
She folded the paper, stuffed it into an envelope, and put on a stamp. Then she carried it through the living room, carefully opened the front door, and dropped it into the mailbox.
As she headed back upstairs, she suddenly felt as if a huge weight had lifted – and she knew she would finally be able to fall asleep. What a day it had been!
As she eased back into bed, she whispered to her kindred spirit, “Goodnight, Jill. The nightmare is finally over.”
Tori awoke the next morning and noticed Jill was gone. There were no sounds in the house, which meant her parents had gone to work. Tori got out of bed, stretched, and looked around her. It was wonderful being home and back in her comfortable bed and waking up without a head full of cobwebs.
She glanced toward the dresser and her eyes came to rest on the tin box. She slowly got out of bed, walked across the floor and picked it up. It was heavy and it was the biggest cash box she’d ever seen. It was the size of a small trunk to her. She decided she’d worry about the contents later.
She got dressed, brushed her hair, applied a tad of makeup, and started to leave her room, but the tin box seemed to be beckoning, wanting to show her something. Grammy had made such a point of its importance that Tori just couldn’t resist any longer. She knew that Jill would probably be in a snit because Tori didn’t wait for her, but Jill could get over it, Tori thought.
She tucked the box under her arm, went downstairs, set the box on the kitchen table, and then headed to the basement. She got a hammer and screwdriver from Ed’s toolbox. She went back upstairs and went to work. A few whacks with the hammer and a few prods with the screwdriver did the trick. She held her breath as she lifted the lid.
Inside she found several bags containing white powder. Although she wasn’t sure if it was cocaine, she did know Cody, which meant it wasn’t powdered sugar! She pulled the bags out and set them aside, and saw several other small bags underneath containing a green leafy substance – which she knew wasn’t oregano.
She removed those bags and set them on the table next to the others. At the bottom of the box, she saw a manila envelope. She pulled it out, opened it, and emptied the contents onto the table. She found a picture of a pretty girl who looked to be in her twenties and it was signed, Love, Jody.
Then she saw something that made my heart leap. It was a marriage certificate from Texas – for Cody Baxter and Jody Whitmore. She quickly shuffled though the other papers, looking for a divorce decree – but found none.
She wiped sweat as she wondered if she had married a married man. She searched for their marriage license, but it wasn’t there, either. As she pondered about what it all meant, something suddenly struck her. Cody had not only been a married man, but he had also lied to her when he told her that they got married!
As the impact of that revelation washed over her, she said aloud, “I’m still Tori Hicks!” It was a relief unlike anything she’d ever felt before, and she sat for a long time letting it all sink in. “Grammy was right,” she whispered. “It was important that she knew she was never married to that monster.”
She picked up another piece of paper that said, “My Foster Homes” at the top. The list contained twelve foster homes, accompanied by the dates and the names of the people.
The first date was 1953. The names were Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert. Cody had only been seven years old when he was placed in the first foster home. It was then that Tori knew what Cody meant when he said he wanted a son so he could give him all the things he’d never had.
As Tori ran her index finger down the numbers and read each name and date, she began to understand why Cody had once told her that he didn’t know if he were a human being or an empty shell. He’d never stayed in one place long enough to set down roots. He had no idea what a family was, which explained why he’d been so jealous of Tori’s.
What a horrible, deprived life Cody had lived, and when he was old enough to go out into the world on his own, he had taken to drug dealing as a way to survive. It was a huge mistake, since Tori knew that he’d been smart enough to be capable of making a comfortable honest living.
Suddenly, Tori smiled as she remembered a saying Poppy sometimes used to describe people like Cody– “Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash.”
Cody had chosen the quick way to make money – and he eventually paid for that choice.
Tori thought about her own family. They never had a lot of money, but they had the necessities, and they had a great deal of love for each other, which made them richer than most.
Tori couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for Cody, but she loathed him at the same time. After all, a hard childhood was no excuse for becoming a killer – and he surely would have killed her and Jill if they hadn’t stopped him. The more Tori thought about it, the madder she got.
She studied a few more minutes, and then realized the drugs were what made him change moods so quickly. When he smoked the wacky weed, he was sweet and loving. When he snorted the coke, he became violent with her – and became mean enough to kill anybody who crossed him. “You were one sicko!” Tori mumbled.
There was only one thin piece of cardboard left at the bottom of the box, but as she pried it up, she was stunned to see several layers of bright green $100 bills. Her hand trembled as she pulled them out and began to count. By the time she had finished, she had counted out $20,000!
She sat down in a chair, unable to move f
or a few seconds, until she noticed a small black book that she had removed with the first batch of papers. She opened it and saw that it was full of names and addresses, including a number of addresses in Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, and Florida. Apparently, he hadn’t been on vacation in Florida the day they met, after all.
It dawned on Tori that these were names of clients and contacts. “And he called himself a pharmacist.” He was a drug dealing fool as far as she was concerned.
She couldn’t help wondering if any of the various drugs he’d poked down her throat would do permanent damage. She also wondered how she could have been such a fool.
Tori’s instincts told her that she needed to turn the box over to the police, but she couldn’t do that without implicating herself in Cody’s murder! She shuddered, and then stuffed everything back into the box. She decided she’d worry about it later, after she had discussed it with Grammy.
She hurried upstairs, stuffed the box under her bed, dressed, grabbed her purse, found her wallet, and was surprised to find she had several hundred dollars. She couldn’t remember where it came from, but it didn’t matter at that moment. She ran downstairs, grabbed her mother’s car keys from the pegboard, and headed out the door.
Tori stopped by The Ole Wood Shop. The store had a great selection of carved canes. After looking at them all, she finally selected what she considered a fancy lady-like cane.
She stood at the counter and waited as Mr. Greenwell slowly made his way to the register. He said, “Good choice, young lady. I made this one myself, you know. I made all the canes, of course, but I’m especially proud of this one.” Then he looked at Tori and asked, “But what does a young thing like you need with a cane?”
Tori smiled. “It’s not for me, Mr. Greenwell. It’s a gift for my grandma. I think she’ll like it. You did a beautiful job making it.”
“What’s your grandma’s name, child?”
“Anna Morgan,” Tori said, and she could feel her face glowing as she said Grammy’s name.
“Get out of here!” Mr. Greenwell said with a large smile. “You mean you’re Anna and Tom Morgan’s granddaughter? I’ve known them for years. They’re the salt of the earth.”
“They sure are,” Tori replied.
“Anna has taken to a cane now? I’m sorry to hear that she’s a gimp. She’s always been so spry.” Mr. Greenwell shook his head.
“Gimp?” Tori repeated.
He laughed, rubbing his beard with his fingertips as if he were filing his nails. “Us old folks call people who have bum legs a gimp.”
“Oh.” She learned something new every day. She paid for the cane, and Mr. Greenwell insisted that he wrap it in red paper for Grammy. Tori smiled. “Perfect. Grammy will love the pretty paper, too.”
When he finished wrapping it, he handed it over. “Well, young lady, I’d be pleased if you’d say hey to Anna and Tom for me, and while you’re at it, tell them to drop in and see me sometime.”
“I sure will,” Tori said as she turned to go.
Twenty minutes later, Tori pulled into the driveway and smiled. It seemed as if it had been three years since she’d been here.
She opened the front door, enjoying the familiar aroma of Grammy’s cooking. “Grammy, I’m here!”
“In here, sweet,” Grammy called out from the kitchen.
Tori found Grammy sitting at the kitchen table, holding a mug of hot coffee. She always said the warmth helped ease her arthritic pain.
Tori gently hugged Grammy and said, “I think I’ll have a cup of coffee, too.” She laughed as she filled a mug, sat beside Grammy, and held her gnarled hand. “Grammy, I was wondering if you’ve seen a vision or picked up on any feelings about a possible reunion for Wes and me?”
“No, sweet. I haven’t thought much about it since you two split up.” Grammy lowered her head as if she didn’t want to think about it.
Tori clasped the coffee mug tighter. Grammy was being vague about the subject, which meant she knew that Wes and Tori were history, but she didn’t have the heart to tell Tori. So be it.
Grammy eyed the cane wrapped in red paper sitting on the table. “What have you got there, sweet?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was so concerned about myself I forgot what I was holding. Here, your early Christmas present.”
“Hum, I wonder what it could be,” Grammy said with a sly smile as she tore off the paper. She held the cane out in front of her. “Oh, my. When you said you were going to pick out a fancy one, you weren’t kidding! It’s beautiful – and I bet I know where you bought it.”
“I’m sure you do,” Tori said. “And Mr. Greenwell said to tell you and Poppy hello and asked you to come by and see him.”
“He’s a nice man. We do need to stop by and see him, but I don’t get out much anymore. I’ve been – preoccupied,” Grammy said, patting Tori’s hand. “Now that you’re back home, I might get my old spirit back and mingle with the world again.”
“I’m glad,” Tori said.
Grammy gripped her new cane and eased herself from the chair. “I need to use the bathroom. Sit tight and give me a few minutes, okay?”
“Take your time Grammy. I’ve got all day,” Tori said as Grammy hobbled out of the kitchen. After Grammy was gone, Tori set her coffee mug on the table, picked up her purse, and headed out the back door. She scurried across the back yard, slid the concrete cover off the old cistern, pulled out the gun she’d taken from Cody, and dropped it in. Then she slid the cover back on.
She rushed back inside, quietly shutting the door and leaning against it, as if the gun might jump back out of the cistern and chase her through the house. When her heart had stopped pounding, she sat back down at the table, and picked up her coffee mug. Sweat covered her entire body, yet she shivered.
When Grammy returned to the kitchen, Tori said, “Grammy, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to spend some time in my bedroom. I’ve missed it so much.”
“Sure, sweet. You do what makes you feel at home. You always did love that old feather bed. Maybe it’ll help erase – oh, never mind. I’ve got to start making lunch for Poppy,” she said, and she had a twinkle in her eyes that Tori knew had been missing for a long time.
As Tori stood, Grammy looked her in the eyes and added, “Isn’t there something else? Didn’t Jill tell you–”
“She didn’t forget, Grammy. We found the tin box, just like you said. I opened it before I came out here, but I don’t know what to do with what I found in it.”
“You know you can bring your troubles to me,” Grammy said. “What did you find? And don’t feel like you have already brought enough to me. I’m a tough old bird, and I’ve got all day, too.”
Before Tori could stop herself, she blurted, “I found bags of what I think is cocaine, bags of marijuana, a black dealer’s book, and a lot of money.” She inhaled deeply, and managed to say, “Twenty-thousand dollars!”
“Hmm... I didn’t know about any money, but I picked up on the other stuff. Drugs are evil, you know.”
“Yes, I agree. Drugs are evil and they make people evil.” Tori waited for Grammy to comment about the huge amount of money but she didn’t say anything. “Did you hear how much money I said was in it? Do you know what we can do with that kind of money?” Tori’s eyes widened as she pictured a red corvette parked in her driveway.
Grammy patted Tori’s hand, but she had a stern look in her eyes. “That money is ill-gotten gain, and if we spend it, it will only bring us sorrow.”
“I knew you were going to say that. It’s not technically mine and it came from illegal activity, but it sure is tempting,” Tori said.
Grammy puckered as if she had a bitter taste on her tongue. “I know, but we can’t spend it. Dirty money is the worst thing in the world.”
“Then what are we supposed to do with it?” Tori asked. “We can’t just burn it.”
Grammy propped her elbow on the table, rested her chin in her palm, and drummed her fingers against her cheek. Then her eyes brigh
tened. “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do with it. We’re going to take the devil’s money and use it for the good of God’s children!”
Tori waited for further explanation, wondering what Grammy had in mind.
“You leave it where it is until Christmastime!” Grammy said.
“Christmastime?” Tori asked. “What’s Christmas got to do with it?”
“Let me finish,” said Grammy. “Every year at Christmastime, the Salvation Army has bell ringers on every corner of Madison. We’ll drive through town and drop a stack of bills in every bucket. Just imagine what kind of joy that could bring!”
“I like that idea, Grammy.” Tori pictured hundreds of children opening unexpected gifts on Christmas morning. “Maybe Cody will have finally done something good in his life – even if he’ll never know about it.” She paused. Should she tell Grammy that Cody was dead and how she had killed him? Tori decided against it. It was her and Jill’s secret they would take to their graves. It had to be that way. Instead she said, “What do we do with the rest of the stuff?”
“Flush it down the commode!” Grammy said emphatically.
“Okay, it’s all arranged,” Tori said in agreement. “May I go to my room now?” She didn’t want to talk about anything else that would remind her of Cody.
“Go, and take your mind off the past.” Grammy waved Tori away with her hand.
As Tori fell into the feather bed, a feeling of warmth and security enveloped her. For a long moment she just lay still and enjoyed that sensation. Then she walked over to the dresser, and picked up a picture of her and Wes. It had been taken on the night they were crowned king and queen of the prom. She held the picture to her heart, remembering the love, remembering it slipping away.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she set the picture facedown, feeling empty to the depths of her being. But she knew that she had to face reality. Wes was out of her life – but at least she still had a life! Only the day before there had been a serious doubt if she’d ever see another sunrise. She knew that she needed to be grateful for the chance to start over – with or without Wesley Asner.