Key Weird 03; Key Witch

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Key Weird 03; Key Witch Page 8

by Robert Tacoma


  ♦

  Lydia picked Josephine up at the police station a couple of hours later, but it looked like Consuelo was staying put for a while for assaulting a police officer with a mechanic. Luckily, other than some bruised male egos, no one was hurt.

  Lydia called Brad, who knew a good lawyer. There was nothing else Lydia or Josephine could do. The cops were all upset because one of their own had taken a fall. The sisters decided to let the lawyer take a shot at it. At least he was used to dealing with these people.

  Taco Bob had gone back to his houseboat before Lydia had gotten the call. He had to get his floating home ready for the storm, and make sure everything was set in case he was making an early morning run up to the Everglades. Lydia had offered to pay him for taking Consuelo along, but he had come up with the polite refusal thing again.

  But things had changed; Consuelo wasn’t going anywhere for a while. Lydia would go herself, but she couldn’t see Josephine dealing too effectively with the world of cops and lawyers. Not to mention running a hotel full of people who were liable to panic if the hurricane got any closer. She called Brad.

  “Hey, Brad, it’s me. Could you possibly cover for me here at the hotel for a couple hours tomorrow morning? I need to meet your lawyer friend and see if I can get Consuelo out of there.”

  “We’ve got a meeting at the office in the afternoon about this storm, but I could probably come by for an hour or two in the morning before I go in.”

  “Thanks, I really appreciate this, Brad. I’ll make it up to you somehow.” She had a real good idea of how she’d like to make it up to him, but was much too busy at the moment for pleasant thoughts.

  When Lydia called Taco Bob next and passed along the information about Sara buying a boat, he agreed it was looking like she might have gone back to the swamp. She didn’t see any need to bother him with any details about Consuelo’s arrest; just assured him he would have a passenger.

  She had to deal with a pouting Josephine next.

  Josephine was still upset about the cops hauling off her sister. The handcuff thing had brought her to tears, and she was still in a state when Lydia found her in her room.

  “Buck-up Josey! We’ll get her out, don’t worry.” Lydia knew just the thing to get her to stop dwelling on the whole sister-in-jail thing.

  “How would you like to take a nice boat ride tomorrow with that fisherman who was here? Get out in the air! See some new things! Hang out in a mosquito-plagued swamp! Maybe find our sister Sara! What do you say?” Josephine was lying on her bed holding something to her chest that Lydia couldn’t see. She rolled over a little, but didn’t say anything, just frowned horribly.

  “Look Josephine, she could be hurt or something. She might need someone who would know how to help her.” She sat on the bed next to her sister. “I’m sure you’ll be all right, Taco Bob seems to know what he’s talking about, and we need to find out if Sara’s out there before this storm comes.”

  Josephine started to come around.

  “I n-n-need to get s-some stuff ready.” She wasn’t exactly smiling, but Lydia could tell her sister was already thinking about what she would need for her trip to the swamp. Josephine loved to pack all kinds of strange little things in her traveling bag.

  “Go ahead and get your stuff packed and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow’s shaping up to be a big day.”

  ♦

  Josephine finally let go of me when her sister left. Good thing too, she was about to hug the stuffing out of me. She got out a backpack and started putting some of her potions and medicines and stuff in there.

  I offered to go along but she said it might be dangerous – snakes, sharks, alligators, big spiders, that kind of stuff. The spiders thing did it for me. I helped her pack and told her a story about the Blue Planets of Sirus 3 to help her get to sleep.

  ∨ Key Witch ∧

  9

  The Grab

  Something was in the air. The clouds all left town in a huff and the birds were taking a long lunch. Only the trees stood their ground. The breeze was acting suspicious and the sun was getting everyone hot under the collar.

  Taco Bob knew the storm was still a long ways away, but the water already looked different than usual in the first light of day. Flat seas with low undulating swells and not much sign of fish or birds.

  He didn’t even want to think about getting out on the water and having a problem that left him out there with a storm coming. There’d been a bad experience with thunderstorms on a trip to the Glades once before, and that was enough to make a believer out of him. He’d already checked everything on the boat twice by the time the sisters arrived.

  “Morning ladies. I reckon I got things purty well squared away here. You want to come on aboard we’ll be heading out.” The question of which one was coming with him was settled when the dark-haired one with the stutter stepped aboard his skiff and had a seat. He stowed her bulging backpack in the forward hatch.

  “You kids have a good time and don’t stay out too late!” Lydia was smiling big. Taco Bob was giving her a look and Josephine was giving her the finger. Lydia gave up on the smiling. “Jeez, lighten up you two. I was just trying to get some humor going here!” She had her hands on her hips. Taco Bob turned loose a little smile before getting back to business.

  “I got the number to the hotel, and you got my number, but I doubt this thing’s going to be much of any good once we get out very far.” He clipped a cellphone to his belt. Lydia looked worried as he started the big outboard engine and pushed off from the dock.

  Taco Bob eased the flats boat out of the marina, and they gave Lydia a final wave. He glanced at his passenger. “I kinda thought your other sister was the one coming along.” Josephine looked thrilled and scared shitless at the same time. She’d probably never been in a small powerboat before. The black-haired beauty shrugged.

  “J-jail.”

  Taco Bob gave her a glance, then gave the engine full throttle. Josephine’s eyes got big as she held on tight and let out a little squeal. The boat jumped up on a plane and they sped off towards the sun just coming up on the horizon.

  ♦

  Lydia was in no mood to mess around. She went straight to Jeremy’s room when she got back and dragged the still sleeping handyman out of bed and onto the hardwood floor.

  “Ouch! Hey, what’s the deal? Jesus Christ on Ice, Lydia, what are you doing?” Jeremy rubbed another bump on his head and pulled some sheet over his exposed private areas.

  “Front desk in ten minutes, Jeremy. You’re going to be earning your keep today.” Ignoring the steady stream of whining coming from the floor, she headed for the front.

  With the television in the lobby tuned to the weather, Lydia took a quick look at the newspaper while she waited for Jeremy. Last night’s updates on the storm was the main story for page one. She was reading about evacuation and storm preparedness when the Halls from Toronto came down to the lobby on their way to breakfast.

  They exchanged the latest news and personal opinions about the storm. Then Mrs. Hall asked Lydia if she’d heard about the birds. She picked up the paper Lydia had been looking at.

  “I bet there’s something in here about it. Here it is, read this. They’ve been finding a lot of dead birds around the beach the last few days.”

  ♦

  Orange Dali was doing a mural in chalk for a growing crowd on Duval Street. Miss Doris had surprised him with the colored pieces of chalk the night before. He hadn’t shown any interest in the canvas she had set up in the study, but had done a hauntingly lovely nude on the white sheet of her bed. In the morning they were both covered in chalk.

  He’d tried several surfaces before he found one that the chalk liked that morning. He stood on an overturned bucket and created his signature soft watches on the side of a white panel truck. The driver of the truck had joined the crowd after his attempts to stop Dali had been booed down by the assembled throng of picture-taking tourists. There was even a cop car stopped around the
corner watching the impromptu art piece take form.

  ♦

  Louie was sweating his ass off. They’d gotten the go-ahead for the job, and it was going down in just a little while. Now there was a bunch of people staring at something happening around the other side of a truck a block over. Looked like a couple donut-eaters sitting in a cruiser watching whatever was going on. Occupational down-side. Cops always made him nervous, but if the fucks had to be around, he liked having them where he could see them.

  He wasn’t the only one sweating today. Plenty of soaked tourists wandering the streets bitching about the blazing hot sun. In a few hours they’ll be packed like sardines at Mallory Square trying to get a glimpse of the same sun setting over the heads of several hundred other tourists. Louie decided he could miss that shit, besides, things went right here, he’d soon be making some serious money just sitting on his ass in the air-conditioning.

  Made one more stroll and everything looked good as far as he could tell. He didn’t one bit like Gustov having him do the street work out front while His Highness sat in their rental parked back in the alley. He could see a newspaper through the windshield. Here he was out doing the final recon while his partner sat on his fat ass and read the paper in the shade. That sucked.

  ♦

  “Just make sure the storm shutters are all ready to go. You can do that, can’t you, Jeremy?”

  “Those hinges are going to be pretty rusty Lydia, I probably need to get some hinge oil from the hardware store before I start.”

  She looked like she’d never heard of hinge oil before. Jeremy wasn’t sure if he had either. Best he should ask the guys at the hardware.

  “Okay, whatever. Just make sure those shutters are ready, then get that roof finished. Big day Jeremy, let’s get something done for a change, shall we?”

  He wasn’t liking her attitude one bit. Had a lot of nerve to expect him to work on a day when he was so hung-over. Actually he realized he didn’t feel all that bad, other than the latest lump on his head where he’d slipped in the bathroom. Maybe there was something to Josephine’s latest cure.

  “I think I might need some more roofing tar too.” Lydia looked up from what she was doing at the front desk.

  “Just get whatever you need from the hardware. I’ll be gone for a couple of hours this morning, but other than that, I’ll be here all day.”

  ♦

  When Maria came in to clean rooms, Lydia went over a few things with her about the storm preparations. As usual, Jeremy’s name came up.

  “That man, he no good, Miss Lydia! I doon trust him no farther I can throw him!”

  Lydia had heard it all before, she was so glad they only had two employees.

  “Yes Maria, you’ve made that abundantly clear to me in the past. But we still have to honor the agreement we made when we bought this place. Maybe he’ll straighten up and be a model worker in the next few months.”

  Maria made a snorting sound and went off into the hotel muttering to herself.

  ♦

  The Pink Snapper Lounge wasn’t exactly on the way to the hardware store, unless you took the scenic route. Jeremy hadn’t really planned on stopping either, but the bar-back Tony was out front changing the sign when he went by.

  “What’s up Tony?”

  Tony was used to looking down on the short bald man, but up on the ladder he was really looking down on him.

  “Besides me, not much, maggot. Nice bike, by the way.”

  Jeremy was puffing around on a rusty old bicycle with big wire baskets. He shrugged. “Company bike. Headed for the hardware.”

  He probably would have gone there too, if Tony hadn’t said, “Boss’s auditioning some new talent in there this morning. You oughta go take a look.”

  ♦

  At the same instant Jeremy was opening the door to the topless bar, the front door of the hotel opened and two men came in. The big one wearing slacks and a sport shirt and the smaller one in a suit wiping his hands with a little towel. They walked up to the front desk with the big one clearing his throat.

  “Good morning. My associate and I are introducing a new insurance plan to selected businesses in this area. I’ve got one of our cards right here.” The big guy pulled out a gun, set his feet, and shot Brad square in the neck.

  Louie just about shit.

  “What the fuck did you just do? We weren’t supposed to shoot anybody here!”

  He stared at the gun his partner was holding, then realized there were wires coming from the gun over to the guy on the floor. It was a stun gun, a taser. Gustov could have given him some warning here. The plan had been to use a sap if the mark didn’t come along easy.

  Louie went for a look and the guy was down but not completely out. Had two little darts on the end of the wires stuck to his neck. He looked over at Gustov standing there with a big shit-eating grin on his face.

  ♦

  Gustov always liked what the taser could do. Take your basic big, mean, drugged-out, barroom bruiser, give him a shot and he’s quivering mush on the floor. Overrides the nervous system with something like 50,000 volts. He liked to use it on women especially. Worked real good on females, the smaller the better.

  “Quit your whining, Louie, and bring the car up to the side door. Like now.” Louie started to say something, but just gave his partner a wary look and hurried out for the car.

  ♦

  While my Josephine was gone I worked in the lab on the hangover potion. My basic knowledge of Zertronian chemistry isn’t much help with the limited ingredients available. It’s mostly a matter of trial and error.

  Our main test subject Jeremy sometimes has a problem with his skin turning yellow after drinking the potion, so I’m thinking about cutting back on the sulfur and cat urine.

  ∨ Key Witch ∧

  10

  Sara

  The air was thick with anticipation. The wind had been throwing its weight around down south, but got stuck in weak high pressure traffic and wasn’t expected in till the late shift. Crews from the mainland swamps had worked all night bringing in extra humidity for the still air. The sun and heat got into another senseless argument, and everyone was steamed by lunch.

  Josephine had needed to pee for the last hour, so she was really glad when the boat slowed down as they came up on the coastline. It didn’t look like what she’d expected though; miles of tall forest lined the edge of the land without a break. No buildings, or cars, or power lines even. Just solid trees. They’d seen a few other boats off in the distance on the long ride across Florida Bay, but not much else.

  “I r-r-really got t-to pee!”

  It wasn’t looking good for a convenient and clean public restroom to be appearing anytime soon, or she wouldn’t have said anything. Taco Bob told her they were coming into the channel for Lost Man’s Creek. He cut the engine down to idle, but left it running in neutral, before handing her a plastic bucket and going to the front of the boat. The mangrove trees up ahead of the boat looked exactly the same as the ones for several miles in each direction, but he gave them a good look anyway.

  After Josephine had made herself comfortable, they eased slowly up the creek. It was mid-morning, but the mosquitoes were after them anyway as soon as they got up into the tree canopy.

  “Them’s Red Mangrove trees, Josephine. There’s lots of little creeks all along the coast coming outta the ‘glades and the whole area’s thick with mangroves. So thick, not much else growing for a ways either.” Josephine was wondering how he had been able to tell where to go when she noticed he was glancing at a little thing the size of a cell phone velcroed onto the center console of the boat. She pointed to it.

  “GPS. Satellite thing for finding your way. One of your better ideas for boats in a long time. I got some positions last time I was up in here. Should get us up in there without getting lost so much.”

  He was right about the trees. Not much of any other vegetation growing up in there, the mangroves and their tangle of roots had a
monopoly on that area of black mud, black water, and black mosquitoes.

  It wasn’t too bad while they were running in the boat, but as soon as they slowed down it got hot. The trees gave plenty of shade, but there wasn’t a breath of breeze and the humidity was incredible. Soon they were both sweating and swatting mosquitoes. They put on insect repellent and it helped a little with the bugs.

  The bottom of the engine bumped something, and Taco Bob raised the engine up a little and kept on. Before long the creek was looking more like a lake full of trees and he cut the engine off because it was hitting sunken logs down in the black water.

  “I’m going to have to pole in from here on. It’s pretty near low tide, and I don’t want to be taking a chance on bending a prop back up in here.” He got out the long pole fastened on the side of the boat and began pushing the boat back up further into the swamp. “I got a spare prop. In fact I got just about a spare everything somewhere on this boat, but I don’t want to be doing no repair work today. Just hoping we can find the cabin, see what’s up with anybody there, and get back. Not a good night to be camping out with that storm coming. We’re needing to get in here and back out pretty quick.”

  Josephine nodded. She liked outdoors, nature, and all that crap, but she had no intention of spending the night out in any mosquito swamp.

  “Here’s us a gator!”

  She looked where he was pointing up ahead and saw something about two feet long sticking up out of the water just a little. About the time she realized what she was looking at was only the head, the alligator seemed to decide the boat was getting too close and made a huge splash before disappearing under the water. Josephine was glad she’d used the bucket already.

  “He won’t bother us none. Most times people get hurt is when they’re in the water. Never heard of one jumping in a boat.” He gave Josephine a wink. She was hoping that if Sara was back up in the swamp, she would have the decency to have her bags packed and be ready to go, immediately. She trusted Taco Bob, but she really wished Consuelo or Lydia had come along, she wasn’t used to being so far from them. The thought brought a shiver, even in the heat.

 

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