by McClung, Amy
I smiled. Cameron always made me feel good.
"Why are you here, when you should be with that hot hunk of man?"
I didn’t answer him.
His voice grew stern. "Gracie, tell me you didn’t screw this up."
Ashton answered for me, "She didn’t."
I looked up to see he was propped against the entryway. He smiled at me. "Come join me on the porch. I have a story to tell you."
He put his hand out. I placed my hand in his and let him lead me outside.
"I'm sorry I flipped out a bit, I want you to know about her, though. She's a big part of my history," he said.
I leaned up against him as he told me their story.
"Addison and I met in high school. She was my high school sweetheart. It was the first day of Junior year. She walked into my math class. I didn’t notice her at first. Then she sat down in the seat in front of me. She smelled like sugar cookies. I told her that and her face scrunched in pain. She assumed I was making comments about her weight, I discovered later. I hadn’t even noticed it. She ignored me, after she called me a jerk under her breath.”
"I saw her later, crying under the stairwell. I sat beside her, handing her a tissue. She refused to take it from me. She turned and told me that she didn’t need more comments to make her feel bad about herself. I genuinely didn’t have a clue what she meant. I glanced over her body and asked what there is to feel bad about. She narrowed her eyes at me in anger. I said to her, 'I like the way you smell. It may not have been the best line, but pretty girls make me nervous.' She smiled and asked, 'You think I'm pretty?' I nodded and she blushed. I asked her to go to the first school dance with me that year so I could make it up to her."
Watching him talk about her was difficult. His face lit up with every memory. Ashton had loved this woman with everything he was. I'd never felt love like that before I met him.
He closed his eyes and smiled.
"When I went to pick her up for the dance, she looked amazing. She had a black dress on, that dipped somewhat low in the front, with a flowing skirt. She wore tall black heels that made her legs look so sexy. Her hair was pushed back off her face with a glittery headband. When she saw me look her over, it made her eyes light up. I couldn’t help myself, I leaned forward and kissed her before she even invited me inside. It was my first real kiss and it was fantastic."
His eyes opened, he turned to face me. "Sorry. I seemed to have gotten lost in my thoughts."
I moved my arm to the back of the swing. "I can see how much you still love her."
Ashton's hand reached for my face, I closed my eyes at the contact. "I love you, Gracie. Addy will always be a part of me though. She was my first everything, I can’t change that part of my past."
That's when something hit me, "Is she the only person you've been with?"
He exhaled. "She died three years ago. We had been together for six years and I thought I’d spend my life with her. I had a lot of things to deal with other than dating. Besides, no one interested me after she died, until that night I met you."
He lifted a strand of my hair, letting it slide between his fingers. "She would approve of me moving on with you. I've never forgiven myself for what happened to her and I have moments where I breakdown. You can't let that make you feel as though my feelings for you don’t matter."
"I understand." I said. "That night that you picked me up from work?" I didn’t have to clarify my question.
He answered with, "That was the anniversary of her death."
His eyes left mine as he asked, "Why did you think Cam was Hudson earlier? What caused you to hide in the closet?"
I squirmed in my seat. "I thought I heard Hudson singing."
Ashton turned to me. "Singing what?"
My hand moved a piece of hair behind my ear, a nervous habit I had. "Far from home. It was a heavy metal song that he used to sing all the time."
Ashton's face paled. "Damn, Gracie."
He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb. "I had no clue. That was me. The song was playing in the car. I walked upstairs to let Angel know I was back. I was singing that song when I passed by your room."
He moved closer to me. "I wanted to fix you something to eat and asked Cameron to check on you. A few minutes later I heard you screaming. I made it to you just in time to see you scratch the hell out of Cam. He didn’t have a clue what he had done or what was wrong with you."
His hand moved and stopped. "Is this okay?" he asked softly.
I didn’t answer.
He placed his arm on the back of the swing, instead. I moved myself in to the crook of his arm, reached up, and pulled it around me. He relaxed as he kissed my forehead.
"Did people make fun of Addison for her weight?" I asked, wanting to get away from the subject of me.
"They did, before we started dating." His hand ran up and down my arm.
"Were you Mr. popular or something?"
He chuckled. "Not exactly. I wasn't very outgoing in high school. I had hit my growth spurt by the time we met, though. Would you say anything negative to someone when they were walking down the hall with me?"
He had a point. He was over six feet tall and a bit intimidating to look at. "I'm glad you and Addison were together. She was lucky to have found a guy like you who was good to her and helped her self-confidence, instead of tearing it down."
He stiffened in response to my words. "I'm sorry I didn’t say anything sooner in order to be that for you. I thought I was doing the right thing."
I sat up. "You were. It’s my fault. I saw the signs early on, but I ignored them."
He placed his palm against my cheek. "I'm not trying to push, but damn, Gracie, I want to kiss you so bad right now."
I stood up.
He added, "I'm sorry, I.."
I didn’t let him finish. I straddled his waist on the swing. His hands moved to my hips as I lowered my head to meet his mouth. He kissed me softly, letting me tell him, with the actions of my lips, how far I wanted to go.
My tongue slipped through the seam of his lips and I moaned when his tongue moved against mine. His hands tightened around my waist, pulling me against him. I kept my hands pressed to his face as our mouths did what our bodies couldn’t, at the moment.
Chapter Twelve
"Now that was a hot kiss. Damn, I think I got turned on!" Cameron said, interrupting the moment.
Ashton stood up, with me still straddling his hips, and set me on the ground with a kiss on the forehead.
"I take it back. That, right there, you standing up like she weighed nothing at all, that was hot! Are you sure you like chicks?"
Ashton laughed. "If I didn’t, you'd definitely be my type, Cam."
Cam blushed, I'd never seen him blush before. It was too cute.
"Did you need something, Cam?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah. I wanted to talk to Ashton for a second."
I left them alone. While they had their guy talk, I cleaned the kitchen. The table was cleared and the dishwasher was loaded. Just when I had started it up to wash, my phone rang. Before I could get to it, Ashton tore through the door frantic. He grabbed my cell phone before I could pick it up.
He glanced down and handed it to me, relieved. "It's Angel."
“Hey, girl. What’s up?” I said, uncertain of why Ash looked so panicked. “No, I’m fine. Ash has gone bat-shit crazy for some reason, but I’m good.”
Cameron stepped in beside Ash, they exchanged a look that made me uneasy.
“Angel, I’m going to call you back in a bit. My two guys are up to something and I need to find out what.”
I set my phone on the counter. “What’s going on you two?”
Cameron bit his lip which told me he was trying to come up with a lie.
I called him out on it. “Don’t lie to me, Cam.”
He cursed as he turned to Ashton for help.
Ashton said, “Sit down.”
Those words weren't usually followed
by good news. The expressions on both of their faces were not reassuring me either.
Cameron slid a chair out for me. I eased myself onto the seat and prepared for the worst. Cameron placed his hands on my shoulder. Ashton took my hand in his, stroking my palm with his thumb. They were catering to me too much and it was making me more nervous.
"Cameron got a phone call from the police station. Hudson has a clean record. They let him out on bail because they didn’t feel he posed a threat."
It felt as though my chest caved in. I remained as calm as possible when I asked, "Why? He beat me senseless and put Cameron in the hospital."
Ashton nodded and tightened his grip on my hand. "Since he has no record, they don’t feel he is a threat. He made a statement that said he was provoked by the two of you, that you were trespassing, and that Cameron attacked him first. You were on his property, so it's basically your word against his on that part."
He paused and glanced up at Cameron. "There is a way for him to go back to jail. It's something you have to do."
Relief washed over me, I'd do anything to keep that monster away from Cameron and me. "Done. Whatever it is, I'll do it."
Cameron sat down next to me. Ashton scooted closer at the same time.
"There is one thing that Hudson did that would make him a definite threat to society. You have to release your medical records and report the rape."
He barely finished the last word before I stood up. My chair scraped across the floor and fell behind me. Cam and Ash reached for me simultaneously. I backed away not letting them touch me. I edged away from them to move to the living room.
I plopped myself down in the middle of the couch and curled up into a ball. Cameron came in alone. He sat beside me, two throw pillows between us. He reached out and touched my shoulder, I flinched back. I saw my fear reflected in his eyes. I grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it to my chest.
"I can't face him Cameron. If I release those records I have to testify. I can't tell all those people what happened to me. They'll call me a whore and say I deserved it for all the months I slept with him."
Cameron's jaw clenched and he became angry, "The hell they will. I won't let them."
Ash came around the corner, keeping his distance. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and said, "Neither will I."
He knelt in front of me, still a good two feet from touching me. "Bug, I don’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. You tell me if I've gone too far."
He didn’t move, until I patted the seat next to me. He sat beside me, making sure our bodies didn’t touch. The problem was, I needed him to touch me. I slid my legs over his and leaned against him. His body relaxed as his arm draped over me.
"I can't testify Ash. I'm not strong enough."
Ash lifted my chin; I was shaking. "You're one of the strongest people I know, bug."
Cameron's voice trembled, "Gracie?"
I turned to face him. I waved him over and he laid his head against my shoulder.
"He's right. You're stronger than you know. I have faith in you and we'll both be there every step of the way. Right, Ash?"
Ash nodded. "Absolutely."
I pulled myself onto Ash's lap hugging his neck. His hand rubbed my back as he held onto me.
Cameron broke the silence, "Can I just say that you two are cute as shit! I should've introduced you a long time ago. I'm going to go see Gavin for a bit, give you guys some time."
"Thanks, Cam." Ash said, then turned to me, "Give me a minute, I'm going to walk him out."
I nodded. He stood up with me in his arms, turned and sat me back on the couch.
Cam grabbed his chest, "Sweet love of all things good, you are one strong man."
Cam's hand grabbed Ash's flexed bicep and he exclaimed, "Holy bulging biceps, Ashman. Just give me one fantasy and carry me out the door?"
Cameron smiled and batted his eyes. I glanced at Ash, waiting for him to let him down easy. Instead, he lifted Cam over his shoulder and carried him out.
Cam yelled, "I've died and gone to gay heaven and it's fabulous."
Then he pointed at Ash's butt and his mouth dropped open before he mouthed, "OMG."
I burst out laughing. The sound caused Ash to turn with Cam in his arms. I hadn’t laughed in a while, and it made them both smile.
Cameron always had great taste in men and he was right, Ashton's butt was amazing.
Ashton came back in a few moments later, shaking his head.
"What?" I asked.
"Cameron smacked me on the ass before he ran to the car."
I laughed again.
He sat on the couch next to me. Carefully he touched my hair, moving it off my shoulder. "I love hearing you laugh again."
His hand started to pull away. I grasped it and tugged as a hint to come closer. He slid next to me. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him forward for a kiss. At first he gave in, leaning closer.
He stopped short of our lips meeting and said, "Don’t do more than you can handle. I'm not going anywhere."
I smirked. "Oh, I plan on handling you really well."
I closed the distance between us. My lips met his, gently, at first. I nipped at his bottom lip with my teeth, he responded with a moan. Now, I had him where I wanted him. I placed my hand on his thigh as I slid my tongue across his bottom lip. I felt his pants tighten in response to the kiss. I pushed myself up on my knees, then slid a leg across his lap, straddling him.
His hands moved to my hips as he held me in place while I moved to nip at his earlobe. He slid his hands inside the hem of my shirt, rubbing his thumbs across my skin. My hips ground against him as I felt his desire for me growing. His hands travel further up inside my shirt. His palm moved to my breast, cupping the outside of my bra. I whimpered in pleasure as his thumb traced back and forth across the now hard nub of my nipple.
Ashton's mouth moved from my lips to my neck. His tongue trailed along my collarbone, followed by kisses up to my ear. His tongue flicked at my ear, one of my most erogenous zones. I slid my hand down, rubbing my palm over his pants. He moaned, pulling his mouth from my ear.
"Gracie, we need to stop."
I covered his mouth again with my own. His hands were still on my skin, inside my shirt. I stood and took it off.
He protested, "Gracie, seriously. This can wait, baby."
I glanced down at his pants, biting my lip. He sucked in a breath. "That lip-biting you do is so sexy."
He grabbed my waist and turned to lay me on the couch. He hovered above, slowly lowering himself on top of me. He had unhooked my bra sometime when he was laying me down.
Damn, he's good, I thought.
He slid the straps down and his tongue flicked out over my nipple. I gasped in ecstasy. This was the closest I'd ever been to an orgasm from foreplay. His hand slid down my side, and when I felt his palm press between my legs, something clicked inside me.
I shoved at him, begging him to stop. I only had to ask once. My chest heaved, I sat up covering my naked breasts. Ashton said my name, but I didn’t answer.
His hand softly touched my shoulder and I cried out, "No! Don’t touch me."
He stepped back and set my t-shirt on the couch next to me.
"I’ll go in the other room while you dress," he said, his voice full of despair.
"Ash?" I said cautiously, as I approached him in the kitchen. His hand had moved to his face before he turned around. His eyes were red, he'd been crying. I lifted my hand to his face. "Baby."
He softened at my touch. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He didn’t budge.
"I'm afraid to touch you, Gracie. I don’t want to cause you any pain."
I took responsibility. "It's my fault. You were right, we shouldn’t have gone so far. Please hold me."
He leaned down and hugged me close. Ashton's phone disrupted our moment. He answered it, keeping one arm around me. "Um, I don’t know man. I need to check and see if that’s possible. Can I call you back? K, Give me t
wenty minutes."
He kissed my forehead. "Sweetie, that was a friend of mine. He asked if I could cover his security duty at a club tonight. His daughter is sick and his wife is a night shift nurse. I need to call Cameron and see if he can stay with you while I'm gone."
I felt nervous, but wanted him to be able to help his friend. "Angel and MJ will be around tonight. Even if they aren’t, I'll be fine by myself."
Ashton stood firm. "No. Not with him out of jail. I'm not leaving you alone. You could come with me."
I thought about that, but a crowded club didn’t sound so pleasant right now. The one thing I didn’t need was to have someone accidentally bump into me throwing me into a panic attack.
Angel came to my rescue when she strolled into the kitchen, "Hey guys, what's up? Ooh, looks kind of serious in here. Everything, okay?"
"You gonna be home tonight, Angel?"
She nodded.
I held my hand out and said, "See, I'm in good hands."
Angel asked confused, "What's that about?" Ashton spoke up, "I'm going to do security at a club tonight and don’t want to leave Gracie alone."
Angel beamed, "Yeah, no problem. I'm glad to spend time with my girl. I didn’t know you were a security guard, Ash."
Ashton replied, "I'm not. I'm a promoter. Most of the bouncers know me from the clubs I promote. Occasionally they call me to take a shift for extra money. My size kind of screams bouncer, ya know."
Angel looked him over. "Yes it does."
I narrowed my eyes. "Watch yourself there, Angel."
Angel's hands came up in surrender as she laughed.
Chapter Thirteen
Ashton made sure to fill Angel in on certain orders to keep me safe. We finally had to push him out the door, though he promised to call every hour to check in. The moment he left, I wanted him to come back.
Angel put her arm around me and said, "How about we have a good old-fashioned movie night? We haven't done that in a long time."
We looked at each other for a moment and said in unison, "80's night?"
We grabbed every John Hughes, brat pack, movie we could. We popped popcorn and made fruity frozen drinks.