by McClung, Amy
"MJ, will you come with me to get an update on Derrick?" his mother asked. Mary Jane agreed and they left Ash alone with me. He reached out to me again.
"I'm sorry, Ashton."
He frowned. "For what, bug?"
I sighed. "For making a terrible first impression on your mom."
He laughed. "Sweetie, she loves you already. She wasn’t kidding, I talk about you non-stop. She has been bugging me to bring you around since the day we met. I didn’t want to introduce you to her as my friend, though. I always knew, eventually, we'd be more than that. After everything that happened with Hudson, I was devastated and felt helpless as to what to do for you. I talked to my mom about it for advice. She told me to give you all the space and time you needed. I was worried you would be mad that I talked to her."
Pressing my hand against his cheek, I brought my mouth up to his. His body relaxed as his lips moved against mine. His hand pressed to the back of my neck pulling me closer.
"Get a room. Damn horny youngins." I turned to see Cameron standing there smirking at us. I jumped up and squeezed him tight.
"I'm so thankful you weren’t hurt today, baby girl."
Ashton stood up and Cameron hugged him next. "Ooh, lordy, you're strong."
Ashton laughed. "Did you see MJ?"
Cameron nodded. "Yep, and I met your mother. I love that woman. One, she gave birth to you, and two, she's one of the reasons I have Gavin. She's the reigning Queen in my book."
"Ash, why don't you go check on Derrick and Cameron will keep me company," I suggested.
"I'll be back shortly."
I watched him as he walked out. "Mmm, hate to see him go, but love to watch him leave, right?" Cameron said as he sat beside me in the booth.
He leaned his head against my shoulder. "You alright punkin?"
I nodded. "I'm fantastic. Is it wrong that I feel happy now that Hudson is dead?"
He sat up. "No. After what that man did to you, you can feel as happy as you want. In fact, I'm throwing a party for all of us. Not to celebrate his death, that would be wrong. We're going to celebrate MJ and Derrick, you and Ash, Gavin and me, life in general. We deserve it. We'll pick a night, as soon as Derrick is out of the hospital."
I beamed. "You're awesome, Cam."
He shrugged. "I know."
"Come on, you're starting to lose that smile. I'm taking you to your happy place."
I was confused. "Where is that?"
He winked. "Beside Ash."
I smiled. "It feels good to have a happy place finally."
Cameron kissed my temple. "I agree."
In the waiting room, we found Mary Jane and Mrs. Collins in tears. Ashton spotted me and his face lit up with joy. Well this scene was a bit unbalanced. "What happened?"
Ashton smirked. "Derrick's out of surgery, he's fine. You women cry when you're happy or sad, that's why we get so confused sometimes."
He grinned as he kissed me. I punched him playfully in the stomach.
Ashton wrapped his arm around me and walked me over to the others. "Mom, since Derrick will be out for a while, I'm going to get Gracie out of here. We'll be back in the morning though, okay?"
She nodded and turned to hug me. "I'm so happy to have finally met you, Gracie."
I smiled. "Me too, Mrs. Collins."
She patted my shoulder. "You call me, Maria. I want you and Ash to come to dinner one night, so we can talk more."
I smiled. "Absolutely."
Ashton took my hand, leading me out to the car. He hit the unlock button. Before we got inside, he pressed me against the door. His mouth grazed mine gently, at first. His hand slipped behind my neck as he delved into my mouth with his tongue. I moaned at the sensuality of the kiss.
It seemed like it had been so long since we had one of these moments. His other hand slipped around my waist, pulling me against his body. My hands moved up his chest and around his neck as his tongue explored my mouth.
When he pulled away, I missed him instantly. "We'll do anything you want tonight," he said, as he trailed his thumb across my swollen lips. I nipped at his finger and he chuckled softly.
"Let's go home." He motioned for me to get in the car.
On the drive home, he said, "So, meeting my mom wasn't so bad, was it?"
I smiled. "No, she's amazing. Not that I expected anything else. Your entire family is wonderful it seems."
He laughed "Nothing special about us, we're just good southern folk," he said adding a country twang to his voice.
I bit my lip. "That was pretty sexy sounding."
He smirked. "You like that country twang in my voice?" he said, still adding the twang.
"Mmhmm. With your deep voice it sounds so yummy."
He laughed. "Yummy, huh?"
I nodded, biting the corner of my bottom lip. Ashton reached over and caressed my face.
I reached for his hand and kissed his palm. "I love you, Ash. You have no idea how much."
He smiled. "Probably not nearly as much as I love you."
I kissed his knuckles. "Seriously, I can't even tell you what you mean to me."
The house was empty when we arrived. Angel was out, and of course Mary Jane was at the hospital. When we stepped inside the house, it was quiet and dark.
Ashton stopped my hand as I reached to turn on the light. He pulled me into his embrace, I didn’t flinch at the sudden touch. It was the first time I didn’t react negatively to being touched suddenly. His hand swept across my cheek, pushing my hair behind my ear.
He leaned down to whisper, "I want to make love to you."
That familiar tug in my stomach told me that I wanted that, too. I pushed myself up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. He bent to wrap his arm around my waist. I led him to the couch, pulling him down on top of me.
He stood up and removed his shirt. I sat forward and reached for his chest. "I love the feel of your body." He closed his eyes as my hands roamed over his chest. He lifted my shirt, moved my hair and kissed my bare shoulder.
"You're so beautiful, Gracie. Are you sure…"
I covered his mouth with my hand. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anything."
I moved my hand and his mouth crashed against mine desperately. He slipped my bra off as he laid me back and then moved to lay on top of me.
After making love, we laid curled on the couch. Ashton was pressed against the back of the couch, holding me against him. He flung a blanket over us, to give us a little warmth. "This is going to be our life now. No worries, no cares, right?"
I nodded. "I hope so."
He smoothed my hair aside, gazing at me. I leaned up to kiss him.
"I have fallen asleep on that couch!" We heard Angel exclaim from behind us.
I turned, holding the blanket against my chest. "Sorry, Angel," I said as I smiled.
She sat next to us. "Everyone's safe, I assume?"
Sitting up, I said, "Yes. Mary Jane's at the hospital waiting for Derrick to wake up. We wanted some time alone."
Angel nodded. "Say no more, I'll leave for a bit to give you guys some time."
I grabbed her hand. "No, I didn’t mean it that way. We stopped here to get some clothes and well…"
Angel chuckled. "You decided to take clothes off instead?"
I laughed. "Apparently."
Ashton kissed my shoulder. "Bug, I'm going to call and check on Derrick. Angel, do you mind?"
She glanced at him. "No, I don’t mind you standing up totally naked; won't offend me."
Ash laughed. "Gracie as long as you don't mind."
I pointed at the door. "Angel, get out."
We giggled and she ran upstairs to give us a moment. I moved, letting Ashton stand up to dress.
Ashton called the hospital and they said Derrick was doing fine. He wanted to check for himself, though. "I'm going to run to the hospital for a bit. It'll give you time to pack some stuff up."
"I'll come with you."
He shook his head. "It's fine
. I won't be long. Hang with Angel for a bit."
He kissed me and I watched as he drove away. I was alone in a room and I didn’t feel scared. It felt as though my life was becoming mine again. I felt like letting loose; I searched my iPod for the appropriate song to do so.
Stronger by Kelly Clarkson, perfect song for how I was feeling. I turn the stereo up loud and began to sing with the music. When the beat picked up I started bouncing up and down on my toes with my arms in the air as I spun in circles. Angel came in from behind and danced with me. We were laughing and flailing our arms around, dancing around each other. When the song was over we fell to the couch together.
"Chica, I'm so glad to see you laughing!" Angel exclaimed, once she caught her breath.
"I feel guilty being in such a good mood when someone died today, but I can't help feeling relieved. I never wished him dead, though. I wished I'd never met him a million times."
Angel hugged me. "No need to explain to me. It doesn’t make you a bad person to feel good today. The man stalked you, Gracie. He tried to kill you and Cameron."
"He raped me too, Angel." She sat up and pressed her hand against her mouth, tears began to fall from her eyes.
"Gracie…when?"
It came out without me even realizing I was ready to tell her. It caught me by surprise that I had said it, as much as it did for her to have heard it.
"The same day he beat Cameron up. Cameron got there right after it happened. I didn’t want anyone to know. I freaked out on Ashton, so I had to tell him. Then I freaked out on Cameron, so I had to tell him. Mary Jane just found out today, after the shooting."
Angel pulled me into her arms. "Chica, I'm so sorry."
I rubbed her back. "I'm fine, girl. Ash has been amazing."
She leaned back and wiped her face. "I've been there too," she said.
"What? When?"
She replied, "High school. It was Junior year. I went on a date and the guy wouldn’t take no for an answer. That was my first sexual experience."
I covered my mouth in shock. "Angel, you never told any of us?"
She shook her head. "I understand why you didn’t say anything. It makes you feel dirty, ashamed, ruined. I felt like no one would believe me because of the way I dressed. I knew they would say I was asking for it. I don’t blame you for not telling anyone."
I moved to hug her. "It feels good to know I'm not alone."
Angel smoothed my hair, and said, "It happens more often than it should, unfortunately."
I reached for her hand. "I need to ask you something and if this is totally inappropriate you can tell me." I paused briefly, then asked, "Would you want to go to a group counseling session with me?"
Angel took a moment to think about it, then said, "Sure. I'd do that for you. It would be helpful for me, too. It's been a long time, but the fear sticks with you long after. There are still moments, when I'm with a guy, that I panic. If he is too aggressive, if he takes the lead or lingers on top for too long. I begin to feel weighed down, trapped, helpless. I've done my share of freaking out on guys. The difference between us is that mine never stick around to make me feel better or to help. They call me a tease or worse and move on. You're lucky you have Ash. Hang onto him. Enough of this talk. We need a girl’s day out.”
I laughed. “That sounds like the perfect thing, but maybe we should wait until Derrick is out of the woods so MJ can join us.”
She agreed.
My phone rang and it was Ashton. I held it up to show Angel, she grinned and left me to take the call.
"Hey, baby, how's Derrick?" I asked.
Ashton sounded upbeat. "He's great. He's awake. My mom and Mary Jane are in there with him. He asked about you as soon as he woke up. He was worried that he didn’t get the shot out quick enough. You mind coming by to see him so he can be reassured?"
"Of course. I'll have Angel drive me over now. See you soon." I hung up the phone and Angel was at the door with her keys.
"I heard you say you needed a ride. Let's boogie."
When we arrived at the hospital, Cameron and Gavin were walking out as we made our way to the door. "Hey bitches," Cameron said.
"Hello Ladies," Gavin stated, at the same time.
Angel rolled her eyes as she addressed Gavin. "Can you rub off on him some more and get him to call us ladies as well?"
Cameron stepped forward embracing Angel. "Girlfriend, you know I mean bitches in the sweetest way possible."
Angel laughed. "Somehow you make that sound believable."
Cameron and Gavin were on their way home. Derrick's room was full when we stepped inside: their mom, Mary Jane, Ashton and an older gentleman. Derrick's eyes met mine and he looked as though ten years had fallen off his life with the relief that washed over.
Ashton took my hand, leading me over to sit where he'd been previously. I leaned down, kissing Derrick on the cheek. "You Collins men are my personal heroes. You know that?"
Derrick smiled up at me as he took my hand in his. "I'm glad you weren’t hurt."
"Since no one is going to introduce me, I'm going to assume you're Gracie," the older man stated, holding his hand forward.
Ashton's hand found the small of my back as he stood next to me. I reached for the man's hand.
"Gracie, this is my father."
"It's nice to meet you Mr. Collins."
He had a firm handshake. "Please, call me Craig. She is gorgeous son."
My cheeks heated from the compliment.
Ash bent to press his lips to my temple. "I know." Ashton turned to Angel. "You mind going with me to grab some coffee?"
Angel seemed as surprised as I felt. "Uh…sure?"
Ash leaned down and whispered, "Take a few moments to talk to my parents and Derrick. Help Mary Jane feel a little more comfortable too." He winked at me as he escorted Angel out of the room.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mary Jane and I took turns answering questions about ourselves. Derrick piped in every once and a while to stop the interrogation. Interrogation wasn't the best word, it was actually a nice talk we all had. They asked about our families and what we were studying in school.
When Angel and Ashton returned, he asked me to step outside for a moment. He slipped his hand in mine as we strolled down the hallway.
"I want to take you out tonight. I talked to Angel about it. I'd like you to go shopping, get a new dress and meet me tonight. Angel suggested you get your 'hair did'." He held his fingers up to make air quotes.
I snickered. "OK, sounds fun. What time do you want me to meet you?"
He glanced at his watch. "Have her bring you back here in two hours."
Angel and I left the hospital alone. We were unable to convince MJ to come with us. She felt she needed to be there for Derrick. We didn’t argue with her.
It was spring in Nashville which meant a range of freezing to sweaty temperatures. Today, the temperature was in the seventies. We took Angel's car and rode with the top down. She pulled into a dress shop. We spent the next two hours trying on dresses, trying to find the perfect one for dinner.
"Hey, remember when we were younger and we used to love going into the stores to try on prom dresses for fun?" Angel asked as she thumbed through the rack of clothes.
"Yes! Of course. Cameron even tried on a few with us once!"
We both laughed at the memory of Cameron in a hot pink formal gown. He came to the conclusion pretty quickly that drag was not his forte.
"They have wedding dresses here. Why not try a couple on, for fun?"
I wrinkled my nose. "I don’t know about that."
She grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the brilliantly white side of the store.
Dresses in opal, pearl, ivory, cream, basically every shade of white or almost-white you could dream up. I'd never imagined what kind of dress I'd want.
"Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine walking down the aisle to Ashton. What dress are you wearing?"
With my eyes closed, I began to pictur
e every moment of my fictional wedding. As I opened my eyes to glance around, I found the perfect dress. It was strapless mermaid style, with the bottom sprinkled with jewels.
Angel saw my eyes light up as they landed on the dress. She went to find my size and carried it to the dressing room for me.
When I slipped the dress on, I took a deep breath as I turned to look in the mirror. I'd never felt more beautiful. I opened the door to show Angel.
She gasped and said, "That's the one. You look amazing, Gracie."
I glanced at the tag and realized I'd never be able to afford it.
"Take a picture; maybe one day I can find one close to it that I can afford."
I posed for her to take the picture. She held the phone up to show me and it took my breath away. I'd never thought I'd looked beautiful before, until I saw myself in this dress. I wanted to marry Ash in this, one day.
Angel and I continued our search for a nice dress for dinner. She helped me finally decide on a red dress with short flowing sleeves. It dipped into a v-neck in the front and had a flowing skirt that fell to a few inches above my knee. The red material matched my ladybug charm perfectly.
Angel took me to get my hair done. She purchased a beautiful diamond studded comb for my hair. "Angel, this is too much."
She waved it off. "Whatever. Your man deserves to see you all gussied up."
We bought some black heels to match, and I was ready to go.
When we left the store, Angel said she had an errand to run before she dropped me off to meet Ash. We pulled into the parking lot of the nightclub where Cameron liked to hang out, the one where I met Ash for the first time. "What are we doing here?"
Angel replied, "Cameron needed me to pick something up for him. He left it in the back room the other night. Come on in with me and say hi to some of the guys. They ask about you all the time."
I took a deep breath. "It looks kind of empty."
Angel nodded. "Yeah, Cameron said there's a private party here tonight. We're just going to run in and out, though."
When we stepped in the door, the bouncer, Chris, came up to us. "Gracie! Long time no see, girl! You look gorgeous as always!"
He kissed my cheek as he said, "Right this way ladies. Cameron told me you were coming by."