by Erb, Thom
PRAISE FOR THOM ERB
Heaven, Hell, or Houston:
"Gruesome and gritty action coupled with pulse-pounding horror. I couldn't put it down."—David Dunwoody, author of EMPIRE and THE HARVEST CYCLE.
"Thom Erb's HEAVEN, HELL, OR HOUSTON is feverish, hardscrabble Texas noir, with a salty mix of brooding revenge tale and literary grindhouse. Erb lends an authentic voice to a cast of rich but flawed characters, and a plot that promises action at every startling turn. A+++!”—Shroud Quarterly
"Erb delivers a dark and gritty zombie tale filled with wicked characters and gruesome violence and a cool-as-hell noir-like protagonist you can root for." —David Bernstein, author of Machines of the Dead and Toxic Behemoth.
"...The book you hold in your hands is something special: it is witness to a writer finding his center....Texas is a state of mind, and Thom Erb is ready to put you there. If you haven’t read him before, you are in for a treat...
...Please, listen to him carefully.
Because once you do, you and I will share one of the most honest and sensitive Texas voices I have read outside of a Larry McMurtry novel." —Joe McKinney, Multiple Bram Stoker Award Winner/Author of the Dead World Series.
MORE PRAISE FOR THOM ERB
Tones of Home:
"With TONES OF HOMEThomas A. Erb takes us home for some deeply disturbing holidays. Chilling and full of bizarre twists. Thumbs up."—Jonathan Maberry, New York Times best-selling author of FLESH & BONE and V-WARS.
"Thomas Erb's TONES OF HOME has to be the bloodiest, the most ruthless, and yet the most honest love story I've come across since Natural Born Killers. Erb put his hooks into me with this one and had me guessing right up to the last page. It's a nail-biter through and through, and I'm betting it's going to leave you as stunned as it left me. Oh-and Quentin Tarantino, if you're looking for your next movie, the search stops here." —Joe McKinney, Bram Stoker Award-winning author of Inheritance and Dead City.
"In 'Tones of Home'Thomas A. Erb will gently take you by the hand and lead you away from safety. His clean, unpretentious writing style is a treat for any reader. Recommended!"— James Roy Daley, author of The Dead Parade and Terror Town.
"This one has that wonderful nightmare quality - the one where you know you're dreaming but can't wake up, and imagined terrors are suddenly all too real. In other words, a reader's high."— David Dunwoody, author of THE HARVEST CYCLE.
“If you’re into old school Rock and Roll and like your horror fiction dark and super nasty like I do, you’re going to LOVE Thomas A. Erb’s new book. TONES OF HOMEis extreme horror at its best and it knocked me on my ass when I read it. Highly recommended!”— Gord Rollo, Author of THE JIGSAW MAN and THE CRUCIFIXION EXPERIMENTS.
"TONES OF HOME starts at full-speed and never lets up. Unpredictable and astonishingly bloody! Thomas A. Erb's story telling is a brutal, fast-paced read which hooks the reader in from the very start. Gallons of blood, plenty of violence, and the Fab Four… you'll not have read anything like this before! "— David Moody, author of HATER and AUTUMN Series.
"Thomas Erb's TONES OF HOMEis the kind of story that--once you realize what's happening--you can't help but wish you came up with something even half as cool. An unforgettable, original terror tale."— The Horror Fiction Review
"TONES OF HOMEis full-tilt, in-your-face horror ... If blood and mayhem are to your taste, you'll be satisfied to the max. ... And I will never be able to listen to the Beatles music the same way again."— Rick Hautala, author of Indian Summer and Glimpses.
"TONES OF HOME mixes old school horror with an intense new enthusiasm. This is the one fans of the Erbman have been waiting for. And if you’re not already a fan, this will make you one."—Gregory Hall, host of the Funky Werepig.
"Thom Erb is one of those horror writers that never fades from your memory. His words continue to haunt you many months later." — Dark Discussions Podcast
Dark Gardens
Thom Erb
GREAT OLD ONES PUBLISHING
NEW HAMPSHIRE
U.S.A.
Published by Great Old Ones Publishing
New Hampshire, U.S.A.
http://www.greatoldonespublishing.com
No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, scanning, recording, broadcast or live performance, or duplication by any information storage or retrieval system without prior written permission from the authors, except for the inclusion of brief quotations with attribution in a review or report. Requests for reproductions or related information should be addressed to Great Old Ones Publishing at http://www.greatoldonespublishing.com.
Dark Gardens
Copyright © 2015, Thom Erb
Editing by Great Old Ones Publishing
Cover artwork by Thom Erb
Internal artwork by Thom Erb
Manuscript to book by Philip C. Perron http://www.darkdiscussions.com
The stories within this collection are works of fiction. All characters, products, corporations, institutions, and/or entities of any kind in this book are either products of the respected authors' imaginations or, if real, used fictitiously without intent to describe actual characteristics.
First Edition
Copyright © 2015 Great Old Ones Publishing
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 069243819x
ISBN-13: 978-0692438190 (Great Old Ones Publishing)
Also From Thom Erb
As Author
Heaven, Hell, or Houston- An Eternal Flame Tale
Severed Press- 2015
Tones of Home- A Novella
Crowded Quarantine Publishing – 2013
As Editor and Designer
Death, Be Not Proud-A Zombie Anthology
Dark Quest - 2011
Christmas in Hell- Seasonal Anthology
Drunken Skald Press - 2012
GREAT OLD ONES PUBLISHING
NEW HAMPSHIRE
U.S.A.
For Shelly,
You've been walking with me since this adventure began and I can't ever thank you enough. I look forward to sharing each twisted turn, unrelenting hill and every storm with you. And no matter where this creative journey ends, I can smile and be happy knowing that I've been blessed with the best partner, biggest fan and harshest critic. Much love.
For all my readers and Citizens of the Erbal Nation:
Some of you have been with me since the exciting and yet dangerous days while I wrote my first novel. Thank you for sticking around. The rest of you guys and gals have been with me since my first stories hit the anthologies and have stuck with me through the novellas and novel. I cannot thank you enough for all the staunch support and continued positive vibes. Please keep it up my friends, because this journey is just beginning.
A nation isn't build in a day, so let's roll up our sleeves and set to work. We've build one heck of a foundation and I promise you this, if you keep buying my stories/books, I will keep writing them and together, we can make some pretty groovy magic happen.
Thank you all and let's keep rockin'!
-All the best, always,
-TAE.
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
-Ray Bradbury
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Sowing the Seeds… - A Foreword by Gord Rollo
Dark Gardens: First Batch –- an author Introduction
Cutting Class
Excitable Boy
Pickin' & Grinnin'
The Unfortunate Case of CarlEton Meeks
I'Claus
Tommy of the hill – Ode to Murrie
August 16, 1977 -– (The Death And Birth Of The King)
Spencer Weaver Gets Rebooted
> The Cleansing
Burnin' for you
Sowing the Seeds…
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting Thom Erb face to face, the first image that jumps to mind probably isn’t him as a friendly gardener but hey, this is my introduction so let’s roll with it, okay? I agree that the big guy may not exactly conjure up the green-thumbed neighbor we all seem to have, effortlessly growing perfectly aligned rows of fully-bloomed tulips and multi-color carnations. I don’t even think I can sell you on him tending a small veggie garden full of carrots, peppers, and cherry tomatoes. None of that really seems to be his thing, right? But let’s take another look, and just for fun let’s put a little rot and decay into the picture for a second. Imagine Thom waiting in the lengthening shadows, not coming outside until the sun has gone down, and watch as he stamps into that green-thumbed neighbor’s perfect yard and gleefully rips and tears up all the pretty flowers and plants until nothing is left but a few thorny weeds and the musty-smelling dark earth. The neighbor might come out to see what the hell is going on but one look at Thom and he’ll see the little nervous twitch in his eye and that nasty grin plastered on his dirt-smeared sweaty face. Trust me, Mr. Gardener will turn tail and head back inside without saying a damn word. He wouldn’t dare…
Yeah… maybe now we’re starting to get somewhere.
All bullshit aside though (and to get back on track here), there are definite similarities and comparisons that can be made between gardeners and writers. As crazy as that sounds, it’s true. It takes many long lonely hours of hard work, dedication, and patience to be good at either job – that’s simply a fact – but the most important shared quality; the one I want to discuss here, is the phrase that I have used as a title to this intro. Sowing the Seeds…
No gardener can grow his or her flowers or crops if they haven’t spent the time and energy to plant the proper seeds. They also have to water and fertilize and care for their gardens properly or they are just wasting their time. Being a writer – a decent one anyway – requires no less of a commitment. If the person isn’t willing to put the time and effort into doing things properly they are not only wasting their own time, but also wasting our time as readers as well. And I hate to say this but there are a hell of a lot of people out there these days who think that just sitting their ass down in front of a computer and hammering out a few spell-checked words makes them a writer. It doesn’t. Not even close. I know that, and so does Thom Erb.
To be a real writer you have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone and (wait for it… here comes the gardener reference again) be willing to grow as a storyteller. It’s the single best advice I can give to anyone considering putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as it may be), and it’s not even my advice. It was given to me years ago by my best friend and writing mentor, Gene O’Neill, ruthlessly pounded into my stubborn skull time after time while I was learning my chops. I’m still learning, of course, but that’s exactly Gene’s point. No matter how much we’ve written, or how many people pat us on the back saying they like our stories and books, the important lesson is that you have to constantly go back to work, always try new things, and try to stretch your imagination and skills further and further.
Writing, as a craft, gets easier the more you do it. It’s like anything else (yes, even gardening) the more you practice something the better you will become at that. Here’s the key though; just because it gets easier to write zombie stories, doesn’t mean you should write them. Just because you write great haunted house stories, or romance novels, or poetry about elephants for that matter, it doesn’t mean you should keep beating that same drum over and over again. You have to stretch as a writer. You have to grow. Get out of your comfort zone and try something different. So many so-called writers constantly go back to the same well they have had success with. It’s understandable of course, but it won’t help you become a better writer. If you can write the crap out of forty year old white protagonists try writing about a teenage girl. If all your stories are set in big city America, try writing something set in the jungles of Africa. Try using an animal as your main character. Try using different languages, different cultures, and hey, don’t be afraid to dip your toes into a different genre than you are used to. I’m a horror writer tried and true, but because of Gene I’ve written dark fantasies and mystery books. I’ve even written science fiction and comedies. This is what I’m talking about. Take some risks. Step outside of what you normally like, and give it a try. It may not always work, but it will help you to steadily grow as a writer and will pay untold dividends for you and your work down the road.
Okay, end of my little writing lesson/rant. It’s an important lesson though, and one that I know Thom Erb is well aware of. He’d tell you the same thing because after reading his Dark Gardens collection (you knew I’d get around to that at some point, right?) I can tell that he is well on his way to becoming an extremely successful writer. Why? Because he’s stretching and growing. I can tell. When I first met Thom I saw this big generous giant dude with a huge smile on his face and I instantly knew he was a good guy. I had no idea what kind of writer he was but I knew he was a friendly guy. And then I read some of his work and was surprised by the level of extreme violence he was capable of delivering in his stories. Really surprised. I loved it though, because that’s my kind of thing too, but I was honestly surprised. So having had some early success with that type of horror, I thought maybe that would be where Thom decided to hang his hat. No one could blame him – he writes epic scenes of blood and nastiness – but Thom isn’t content just doing the same things over and over. He knows he’s good at that so he’s challenging himself, taking the path less easily walked, and steadily growing as a writer. Inside Dark Gardens you’ll get a more mature Thom Erb. Don’t worry, you’ll still get lots of carnage and wonderfully nastiness (especially in terrific tales such as Excitable Boy, The Cleansing, and August 16, 1977 – (The Death and Birth of the King) but you will also see Thom stretching his writerly wings. There are tales with Science fiction, fantasy, and straight up thriller elements. He writes about anyone and everyone, from abused children to teenage lovers to old ladies selling secret dreams out of her junkyard. Hell, he even writes a totally creepy, totally kick-ass tale about Santa Claus!
Yes, I said, Santa Claus.
I don’t want to give too much away here so I won’t. The point I’m trying to make is that what you’re about to read is an important book for Thom. It’s simultaneously a turning point and a launching pad for him. Someday he’ll look back at this collection and see how he was evolving as a writer within its pages and I applaud him for that. And so will you. And all you other writers out there keep this book handy and keep its lessons in mind. Never stop growing. Never be content. Remember, we all have gardens to tend to. Worlds to build. Seeds to sow.
Let’s take a walk together in Thom’s garden…
Gord Rollo
April 2, 2015
Great White North
Dark Gardens
First Batch
Dear reader,
I wanted to first thank you for picking up this dark, demented, collection of all my short fiction up to the date of this printing. I was cutting my teeth and learning the craft- a craft I will be continuing to hone and improve for the rest of my life, with each of these stories.
In this collection, you'll read about despicably bullying, angry demons, godly tricksters, bloody revenge and a myriad of delicious goodness. I think it acts as a good appetizer for the fiction I've written since I first sat down with the bravest intent of writing seriously back in 2007.
2007, or more accurately, the early portion of the 2000's was an immense transition period for me on all levels. Some changes I knew were coming- such as getting married, watching our daughter graduate high school, getting my bachelor and master degrees in art education, but some of the most tumultuous and heart-breaking changes occurred in a blink of an eye and happened by complete surprise.
> My mom passed away in April of 2004 and that set me and my family on a course that's vastly different than I imagined it ever would have been, way back then. We purchased my mom and dad's house and moved in to help take care of my aging father and that, in and of itself is a long, torrid tale to be told. Perhaps I've sprinkled some that experience in my fiction somewhere.
All these life-changing experiences have altered me-as a person, as a father, a husband, a friend and now, as a writer. And I'm most certain when reading through this first batch of stories carefully, well, maybe some not-so-carefully picked from Erb's Dark Garden, you'll have a small taste of what and who this growing author is and hopefully you'll dig what's in the pages of my first collection.
I've written a few short stories since this book was compiled and published and I do hope you check those out in their respective published anthologies. But for now, here, I am proud to share with you all in one, nice, tidy batch of pages, my first short story collection.
Read on. I hope you enjoy the stories and may they scare, disgust, laugh and maybe, just maybe, make you think just a wee bit.
And, next time when you're strolling through a stranger's garden, be careful, you never know what lies beneath those dark, leafy blossoms.