“The prognosis is good! Very good!”
“That’s wonderful,” Meg chirped in. “For a doctor to make that kind of statement.”
“My information doesn’t only come from the doctor but...” There was a pause at the other end of the line. “Evan, would you mind letting me talk to Meg for a few moments...in private?”
“No, of course not,” he said quickly. “I’ll hang up right now.”
“Wait!” Jada added. “Before you hang up, I want you to know that Little Ted and I both need you. I need you more than ever, as a friend and also as an acting guardian until my father gets back. Okay?”
“You know that I’m always here for you, sweetheart.”
“So don’t get mad at me for wanting to talk to Meg first. This is just woman to woman talk.”
“I understand.”
“And Evan...later...maybe this afternoon, if you have couple of minutes, I’d love you to come here to the hospital and help me yank some chains.”
“Is anyone giving you a hard time?”
“Not openly. Not yet, anyway! But it always helps to be prepared.”
“Got it, kid!”
“I love you, Evan. Thanks for being such a good friend.”
“I love you too.”
Blinking back a tear, Meg smiled as Evan hung up the phone and stood up. Grabbing his laptop from the end table, he moved out onto the rooftop balcony. From the way he avoided looking at her, she could tell that he was touched by Jada’s words.
“I’m here,” Meg said softly a moment later, unconsciously hugging the book she’d picked up earlier to her chest.
“Did I hurt his feelings?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What I had to talk to you about...you know...I just felt the two of us might be the only ones who could understand it.”
Meg felt honored and touched that the young mother would feel this way about her. “Sure, Jada! Do you want me to come now? We could meet...”
“No! I’m not letting this baby out of my sight.”
Meg waited as she sensed Jada was gathering her thoughts.
“I think I met someone last night. Someone you know.”
Meg turned and leaned her back against the counter, rubbing her chin against the edges of the book.
“Someone I know?” Her mind raced with the possibilities of whom she might have met. Maybe one of her co-workers over the years? There was no one she knew in Newport.
“He told me his name was Robert!”
She suddenly felt her heart start to pound in her chest. She opened her mouth to say a word, but her voice caught in her throat.
“Meg?”
“Yeah. I...I’m here!”
“Remember yesterday in church when you were telling me the story of your husband and his death?”
Even from outside the balcony doors, Meg could feel Evan’s eyes on her. She turned around, gripping the book tightly. “Yes, Jada! What about it?”
“You told me that you were able to find him here in Newport. You said that’s why you’ve kept coming back here.”
“I remember.”
There was a long pause on the other end. “Meg, were you just talking philosophically? I guess I need to know if you meant that you really found your husband here.”
“Jada, why are you asking these questions?” No, it couldn’t be possible that Robert had contacted her. Meg tried to keep her voice sounding normal. “I was...I was speaking figuratively. You know, as in catching up with memories of my past.”
The silence on the line told Meg that she hadn’t been too convincing.
“Meg!” Jada said finally. “I need you to tell me the truth. If you don’t, I may just as well go and get myself committed.”
“What do you mean ‘committed’? You said this person...this Robert...there are a lot of people...”
“He wasn’t ‘a lot of people.’ In fact, he wasn’t a person at all.” She lowered her voice. “Meg, these past few days have been bad. I can’t let anybody think I am nuts. This Robert. He was a ghost, Meg.”
Meg closed her eyes and rested the book against her forehead. What was he doing to her now?
“Meg! Meg!”
“I’m here, sweetheart.” Meg’s mind kept flooding with Robert’s last words. About him being here for someone else.
“Have I lost it?”
“No...no, you haven’t lost it.” Meg let out a weary breath. “Did you...were you able to see him?”
“No! He was just this voice. I couldn’t get away from him, and then I just found myself accepting that he was there. He was there, Meg, right next to me.”
“That’s the way he’s come to me, too. Just a voice.”
“It was kind of scary at first. I was really spooked. I tried to run away, but then I found myself plunked right back where I’d started. He was determined to not leave me alone. It was pretty weird...though he was pretty cool.”
“Yeah, he’s cool, all right.” Meg pressed the phone tighter to her shoulder. She had been calling him for days. “Did he tell you...I mean, do you know why he decided to come to you?”
“He didn’t have to tell me. I knew why.”
“Tell me, Jada.”
“Promise you won’t get mad at me.”
Meg smiled. There was still a bit of the little girl in Jada.
“I promise.”
“Promise me you won’t ever tell Evan about this.”
Meg paused and glanced over her shoulder at Evan’s profile out on the balcony.
“I...I promise.”
“I was pretty bummed about some stuff I heard.”
“What do you mean ‘bummed’? What did you hear?”
“I mean, I wasn’t actually borderline suicidal, but I was...well, pretty close.”
As Meg brought a hand to her mouth, the book dropped to the floor with a bang.
“Oh, Jada.”
“Don’t get hysterical on me, Meg. I’m fine now.”
“You weren’t really trying to take your own...”
“I thought I could...no, I don’t think I...well, after he showed up, anyway, I definitely...I definitely couldn’t go through with it.”
Meg raked a hand through her hair, trying to quell the pounding in her head.
“Jada, there is nothing in this world more important than your life. And you should allow nothing...no bad news...no turn of bad luck...no disaster...nothing to convince you that ending it will accomplish anything.”
“I know, Meg! I’ve got the whole thing pretty straight now. Meeting Robert--I mean talking to him--it was like being in a concrete box and then having a wall just blow out in front of you. Suddenly, there was sunshine and fresh air. Suddenly, I could breathe again.” Jada let out a shaky sigh. “I don’t think I’ve felt this high about the future in a long, long time.”
Meg squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then opened them. Thanks, Robert! she thought silently. You really came through this time.
“I’m glad, Jada.”
The book she’d dropped at her feet caught her eye. Leaning down to pick it up, she froze halfway, seeing the photograph of the author staring back at her from the jacket cover.
“You know, Meg, things have been so down in my life for so long that at every turn, I think I expect the worst. I’ve just been trained to go from one disaster to the next. Pretty gruesome, huh?”
“I don’t...” Meg picked up the book and stared at the picture of a younger Evan Knight. Her hands were shaking as she turned it over.
“But after talking to Robert, I just know that he’s right. Things will improve for our family...”
Jada continued to talk, but Meg hardly heard her as she gazed helplessly at the novel’s title. The author’s name. She looked at them again and again.
Drew King.
A phenomenal debut!
Death on a Reef.
Drew King.
Meg turned the book over again and stared.
“...I mean, look what
he did for you and Evan. To work it out so you two would meet like that...”
Meg felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She scanned the spine for the publisher’s name.
“Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this. But last night, he even talked a little bit about you. About the importance of moving on. About the importance of living...”
Morgan Publishing. The same place that Robert had worked before coming to Boston.
There was a slip of paper marking a page at the very beginning of the book. Meg knew what it marked before she even opened the book.
“Robert said that he knew Evan. That he...”
Her hands shook as she thumbed through the first couple of pages. She looked at the copyright and the date. Copyright by Evan Knight. The book was published long before Drew King, Inc. had come into being.
“He’s a funny guy. He seemed pretty pleased with himself about you two. About...”
Meg opened to the page with the slip of paper and stared at the dedication. Again and again she let her eyes travel across the single line.
To Robert Luckenbrager with deepest gratitude for your belief in me. I owe you.
“...and how he arranged for you two to meet...”
She couldn’t stop the flood of tears that were suddenly coursing down her cheeks. Oh, Robert! she cried out silently. How could you do this to me?
“Thanks, Meg, for telling me the truth. If I thought all that came out of my head...” Jada paused. “Christmas, I don’t know how I’d handle it. I mean, it’s so weird, you know?”
Meg didn’t know what she said in response, but whatever it was, it must have sounded fairly coherent. At any rate, she seemed satisfied and hung up a moment or two later.
Standing there with the receiver in one hand and the book in the other, Meg turned in time to see Evan walking toward the kitchen. He stopped. She saw his gaze drop to the open page of the book and then travel up to her face. She hung up the telephone.
“Meg, I thought this might be the best way for you to find out. I tried, but I could never find the right moment to tell you the truth. So I thought if you saw the book...my old picture.”
She halfheartedly waved the open book in his direction. It was like a terrible dream, as if she were standing outside herself, watching the action. She could even hear her own voice. It was flat and lifeless.
“You knew Robert.”
“I knew him. He was my editor. My first one. The one who discovered me.” He took a step toward her. “Meg, listen to me. When I first met you, I didn’t know anything about Robert. I didn’t make the connection between the two of you.”
Her tears had turned into quiet sobs and her breaths began to come with difficulty.
“You wouldn’t,” she whispered brokenly. “But he knew.”
“What do you mean? Who knew?”
“He knew! He set this whole thing up.”
She saw the confusion cloud his face, but he shook his head and moved toward her again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. But Meg, listen to me. I know you’re probably angry, knowing who I am. I know you probably hate me for not telling you the truth right off the bat. But I want you to understand that I really fell for you. I didn’t start this whole thing to hurt or deceive you. I was just down here doing my own thing. This is my way of finding material for my work. I’ve been in a slump, of sorts. That was what the whole business about working as a cab driver was about. And then, you came on the scene. You just showed up in my life and everything changed. Whatever I did, there was no way I could keep away!”
He had his hands on her shoulders, drawing her toward him.
“Don’t!”
She stepped back, shaking her head, fighting the flood of emotions that was taking her under, drowning her.
“Don’t, Evan! You don’t understand. So please, just don’t say any more.”
Her heart wrenched to think how he’d been used. How Robert had just manipulated him, making him fall in love with her.
“Please, Meg.” His blue-green eyes were dark and troubled. She put the book on the counter and looked away. “I know... seeing that dedication...you probably think...”
“How did you find out about Robert and me?”
“My lawyer,” he said quietly. “I had to know more about you. I needed to know that you were for real.”
“When was that?”
“Yesterday! No! Saturday! It wasn’t until Saturday that I made the connection.” He reached out a hand and took hold of her wrist. “Look at me, Meg. Don’t shut me out. What I told you last night--about being afraid that you might not like the other me--that was the truth. You told me so yourself. You hated Drew King! I had to find a way to...”
“Don’t,” she pleaded, batting her tears away. Evan was falling apart right in front of her, and it was all her fault! Her fault for allowing Robert to run her life. For actually waiting while he did something about her future. “Please don’t make this more difficult than it is.”
“Meg, I love you. Can’t you see, I never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life. I’ve never said that to anyone.”
“But you don’t love me, Evan.” From the look on his face, she might as well have shot him with a gun. She bit her lip and pushed past him. She had to put as much distance as she could between them. “Trust me on this. You don’t love me. You’ve just been had! You were set up!”
“Dammit! Don’t talk to me like that. Just because you’re angry--and you’ve got every right to be--don’t just throw what I said away. I know my own feelings...my own...”
“No. You don’t.” She raised a hand, motioning for him to keep his distance. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Robert set this whole thing up.”
“Robert?”
“Yes, Robert! He caused our paths to cross. From the first moment that I got into your cab--probably even long before that--he was matchmaking. He knew who you were. He knew your true identity. But he never told me the truth.”
“Meg, I don’t understand you. Robert is dead. He has nothing to do with any of...”
“But he does!” Damn her weakness, she cursed, trying to stop her tears. But she might as well try to stop the tide, because she damn well couldn’t stop the tearing sensation in her heart. “Remember your car not starting at Castle Hill? That was Robert. About my...my reservation...the week being pushed back? About you tripping over me in the park? That was Robert.”
“Come on. It’s been five years, Meg! He’s been dead for five years.”
“But he is here!” Her voice broke and she stopped for a moment, wrapping her hands around her middle. “It was my fault. Completely! I kept him here. He couldn’t leave while he was worried about me.”
“I don’t think it works that way.”
“Well, it does, Evan! You see, he’s never...never moved on...”
“Meg...”
“So he took it on himself to plan my future--to interfere with my life.”
She stared at him through a curtain of tears.
“You’re upset, sweetheart. None of this makes any sense.”
“To you, it wouldn’t make sense.” She shook her head and started backing up. “Look, just forget me, Evan. Forget you ever met me. Think of it as a bad dream...like a prank that went sour. Just put this whole week behind you. It never happened.”
She turned and glanced around wildly for her purse. She needed her key. She needed to run fast and get as far away as she could from this man.
He caught up to her as she picked up the purse on the sofa. Taking her roughly by the shoulders, he spun her around. She looked up into eyes on fire with anger. The timbre of his voice betrayed a fury barely held in check.
“I’m...I’m trying to be reasonable. I’m telling myself that I was an idiot to wait. I should have told you right off who I am. I should have told you about knowing Robert when I found out. I take the blame for all that. I’m at fault. But Meg, don’t walk away like this.”
All she could do was just shake
her head and try to swallow the knot that was choking her.
“Dammit, Meg! I just can’t make any sense out of this stuff about Robert.” As she opened her mouth to speak, he rolled on. “But I don’t care. You and I met and something special happened between us. Now, I don’t care if it was Robert, Cupid, or the devil himself who arranged this affair. I walked into it with my eyes completely open...and I’m glad I did.”
“But you didn’t come into it with your eyes open. You were fooled. He knew if we were to step enough times on each other’s toes, then we’d connect. And he also knew that once you learned the truth about me--about who my dead husband was--then you feel obligated to stick around.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“Is it? He’s been around, Evan. He knows about your sense of duty, about your generosity, about the streak in you that makes you feel responsible for everyone who needs help and happens to cross paths with you. And I read that dedication; Robert meant a lot to you. The sick part of the whole business is that Robert was trying to collect on what you think you owe him.”
As he flushed crimson Meg had the gut-wrenching feeling that she’d hit too close to home. She twisted her arm out of his hands, and he let her go.
“Trust me, Evan! This was a match made in heaven--it can never work.”
“Meg...”
She couldn’t stand there any more. She couldn’t contain the pain that was shredding her insides. Reaching out, she gently ran her fingers over the back of his extended hand. Then, without another word, Meg turned and fled the room.
This was the end. She was certain of it. The end of a newfound love that should have worked. And the end of an old love that she should have buried long ago.
CHAPTER 24
Denial is a wonderful thing.
It’s comforting, in its own way, and Evan spent the morning assuring himself that Meg would come to her senses without any prodding from him.
Shortly after she left his apartment, he took off for the hospital. There had been something that the two of them had talked about on the phone, something that had bothered Meg a lot more than discovering the truth about who he was. But questioning Jada did nothing to clarify matters, since all she did was clam up when he asked about their ‘woman to woman’ chat.
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