by Jennie Adams
Jess reminded herself of these thoughts as the family made their way back to Dan’s sprawling home late that day after touring two museums on the way home, and stopping for various adventures including afternoon tea at a truck stop.
‘You can go, Jess. You must be as exhausted as I am.’ Dan seemed to have to dig for the smile he offered.
‘Thanks for taking me and Ella along for the trip.’ Jess made a point of saying goodnight to each of the children before she lifted her sleeping daughter into her arms.
It didn’t matter if Luke didn’t respond. He was softening. Jess could sense it.
And you don’t think that’s simply because he told his father to stay away from you and he’s getting the impression Dan obeyed?
What a tangle it was!
Dan brought her luggage to the car for her, and Jess finished her thanks loudly enough that if any of the children were inclined, they would hear every word. ‘It was a treat I doubt I’d have been able to give Ella any time soon and I appreciate it for that reason.’
‘And I appreciated having help while we were there.’ Dan’s eyes were cloudy with a combination of exhaustion and banked-down longing when Jess straightened from strapping Ella into her car restraint.
A moment later he blinked and that impression was gone. Had Jess imagined it? Or was Dan still struggling, after all, to set aside those feelings?
Oh, Jess, don’t hope for that to be the case!
Jess couldn’t let herself think about consciousness. Dan didn’t want to think about it. Dan…didn’t want Jess. This was clear, and Jess needed to keep it clear within herself. ‘Goodnight, Dan. I’ll be here day after tomorrow as usual.’ She would be here for as long as he could offer her work.
And in the end that was that, wasn’t it? Jess needed to keep trying to find other, ongoing work, too, and most of all she needed to forget all about any feelings towards this man who was a temporary employer and nothing else.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘JESS.’ DAN’S DEEP voice said her name with concern. A moment later he had hold of her shoulder. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I’m fine, Dan. There’s nothing wrong.’ Jess blinked furiously and forced a smile, determined to make Dan believe it.
Dan had come upon her in the hallway outside the room that held Ella’s travel cot. Her grumpy baby had finally given in to sleep after being fractious all morning. Had Dan noticed that Jess had been struggling to do her job properly with the rest of the children because of Ella’s mood?
If Ella’s in a mood, it’s more than likely because she’s picked up on her mother’s anxiety.
‘I’m sorry, Dan. I hope Ella’s grizzling didn’t disturb your work in the den.’ When Ella had finally given in and fallen asleep, Jess hadn’t been able to hold back that anxiety any longer. She’d leaned against the wall outside Ella’s room and panic had washed over her. She hadn’t expected Dan to come along and find her there.
‘If she’s sick or you need anything—’ Dan didn’t seem to be aware that his fingers were gently rubbing at Jess’s shoulders.
Jess wanted to lean her head forward onto his chest, take what comfort she could. For a split second she even considered pretending that Ella’s grizzling had been anything more than reacting to Jess’s mood, but it hadn’t been. ‘Ella’s fine. She’ll sleep now and have forgotten her grumpiness when she wakes.’
‘Okay. If you’re sure.’ Dan dropped his hands but his gaze didn’t leave her face.
‘I need to check on the girls, Dan.’ Jess didn’t. Not really. They were content playing tea parties on the veranda. Dan’s sons were riding their pushbikes around the front part of the ten-acre allotment, where Jess could still look out periodically and keep an eye on them.
If anything, at the moment, Luke seemed to be cold towards his father rather than Jess. Not that there was a whole lot of comfort in that.
‘The girls are happy enough. I can see Rob and Luke out there on their bikes and they’re fine for the moment, too.’ Dan blew out a breath. ‘There’s something troubling you, enough that you looked devastated just now. I’m sorry if I caught you while your guard was down, but I wish you’d tell me, Jess. If it was Luke—’
‘No, Luke had his say at the beach. I’m sure if you feel there’s a need to encourage Luke to change his attitude about your personal life, you’ll address that topic with him.’ Did Jess sound snippy saying that?
You have a right to your opinion about it. Dan made it pretty clear he wasn’t prepared to go into battle with his son over any involvement he might want with you.
But that was just it. Dan didn’t want to be involved with Jess. How many times would she have to remind herself of that fact before it truly sank in?
And Dan wasn’t a horrid man. He was just one who had kissed her, and then decided that hadn’t been a smart idea. Jess had agreed with him, so why was she going on about it now? She didn’t want Dan and Luke to battle because of her.
‘Jess.’ Dan’s voice softened again. ‘I know there have been some tough patches. I’ve added to some of those for you and…I regret that. But won’t you tell me what’s wrong now?’
Jess looked into Dan’s eyes and there was something in there of the day she had asked him if she could help him. A fellow feeling, at least. A measure of care.
‘I’m going to lose my home. Ella’s father didn’t turn out to be a very nice person.’ Jess hadn’t understood that until it was too late, and maybe she should have held back from admitting it to Dan, but he’d once said that he wanted to know more about her life.
This was a major part of her history, but Dan had said that to her as her employer, at the start, not…as anything else. ‘He didn’t want a baby, and he didn’t want me. After I told him Ella was on the way, he wanted me to sign an agreement that I would never name him as her father or ask him for any support and that Ella and I would get out of his life and stay out.’
Jess had been hurt and she needed to remember that pain and be careful not to let it happen again.
Somewhere along the line with Dan, she’d lost some of her focus.
A frown formed between Dan’s brows. He took her by the elbow then, and ushered them both into the kitchen where he turned her to face him. ‘If he fathered your baby, Jess, he owed you support. Financial maintenance at the least, throughout Ella’s childhood.’
‘I know.’ And Jess did know. And she knew that Dan would never have behaved as Peter Rosche had done. She wasn’t trying to judge Dan by Peter’s standards, or lack of them.
Jess just didn’t want to get hurt any more. She pushed a sigh out between her lips. ‘In theory, that’s how it works but he’d made it so clear he didn’t want anything to do with either of us. I thought he’d only be a horrid influence in Ella’s life anyway.
‘I signed his agreement and I thought I’d been smart because I bargained to have him buy the little cottage here for me so I’d have a safe place to raise Ella.’
Jess had pointed the cottage out to Dan when they came back from their trip to the beach, so he knew it was small, nothing special, though it was on a decent-sized block surrounded by three other cottage properties, all with an elevated view.
‘What happened?’
‘He bought the cottage and didn’t tell me that he’d done a deal with the local council regarding ten years’ worth of overdue rates on it.’ Jess felt naive for letting that happen. ‘Lang Fielder, the councillor, claims that he’s been sending notices that the overdue rates and interest had to be paid, but those went to some address invented by Ella’s father. It got to the point where Lang delivered a final notice to the property itself. That’s when I found out about it.’
Dan nodded. ‘That notice was delivered directly to you?’
‘Yes. A couple of weeks ago.’ Jess swallowed down on a mix of anxiety and frustration. She didn’t want to let the anxiety win, but it really was getting the upper hand at the moment. ‘The cottage isn’t worth much, Dan. You’ve seen it. It’s right on the edge
of town. The shaded outdoor areas help for my daycare, but the cottage itself is quite small and very basic. Over one third of its value is owed to the council in back rates and accumulated interest. Ella’s father has disappeared, and I’ve been given to the end of the month to pay all of it in full or they’ll sell the property to get the money.’
The frown between Dan’s eyes deepened. ‘Have you spoken to a solicitor? You can’t lose your home. That’s not fair.’
No. It wasn’t fair, but in Jess’s experience not all of life always was. ‘I got two letters in the mail yesterday while I was minding my other children. One was from the local solicitor I approached, to say they can’t get legal aid funding to help me. I can’t pay them normal rates, so that’s the end of that. The other letter was from Lang Fielder at the council, formally declining my request to make ongoing payments off what’s owed. He says because it’s got as far as it has, the council is exercising its right to recoup the money by selling the property. Market value is irrelevant so long as it sells for enough to get their money back. And apparently the council already knows of an interested buyer.’
‘I’ll help you. There’s got to be more—’
‘It’s not your responsibility, Dan.’ Jess shook her head. She appreciated Dan’s care, perhaps even more because it came purely from a temporary employer’s perspective now.
That knowledge shouldn’t have stung, but it did, a little.
Dan half turned away to get cups down and put on the kettle. He efficiently got tea making sorted before he faced her again. ‘Jess, you got me out of a tight spot by offering to help me. I have a solicitor who’s handled heaps of stuff for me. Let me ask him to look at your situation. If there’s something that can be done, he’ll be able to tell us.’
He held up a hand. ‘And before you say anything about money, he won’t charge me for this. He took over a smaller practice last year that had belonged to his uncle. The financials were in a mess and I sorted that out for him as a favour. He told me if I ever needed one back to let him know, so…let me call that favour in on your behalf.’
‘You’re not making that up to try to save my pride?’ Because Jess simply wouldn’t be able to tolerate that. Not at all. She searched his face.
He shook his head. ‘It may not change anything, Jess, but you need to know where you stand legally. How about if I try to ring the guy now and you can speak with him and explain the situation?’
Dan took her silence as agreement, and made his way to the den. And that was fine because Jess needed help. She just hadn’t expected to have it handed to her free of charge thanks to Dan’s generosity, right when she was doing her best to feel resentful towards Dan for…
For what, Jessica? For not standing up to his son and pushing for the right to have a relationship with you, when you already knew deep down it would be dangerous to pursue such a relationship because you’ve been hurt before, and it would have been stupid to enter into anything like that when you work together as well?
Even with Luke’s attitude aside, there were still plenty of valid reasons why Jess should have stayed away from letting herself desire Dan, and vice versa.
‘Jess, I have the solicitor on the phone. His name is Jonathan Porerri.’ Dan spoke from the doorway of his den. ‘Just tell him what you told me. I’ve given him fax and email information and we’ve organised things so he’s retained to assist you with this situation.’
Right. Jess’s tummy knotted up, but she’d explained the situation to Dan. If that hadn’t killed her she could explain it again to a stranger on the other end of a phone line. At least at the end of it she would come out with a better idea of where she stood, and therefore what her next movements needed to be, and how quickly she needed to make them. She had to take this opportunity to get some advice and be grateful for it.
Dan watched Jess step inside his den. He moved out of the room and closed the door behind him. How much trouble was she in? What kind of rat would treat her that way? Make her sign herself and her baby out of his life and in the process of doing that, set her up so he knew she wouldn’t have a roof over her head a year later?
Instincts inside Dan were roaring. He wanted to find this man and make him take responsibility for his actions, for leaving Jess in a position where she was worrying about having a home.
Oh, yes? And you’ve treated her perfectly the entire time she’s worked for you?
Dan hadn’t, but that was complicated, and he certainly hadn’t set out to harm Jess deliberately in any way. He would never try to do that.
‘I’ve finished the call.’ Jess stepped back into the kitchen several minutes later.
She was pale, but seemed very composed. Too composed? Dan opened his mouth to ask—he wasn’t sure what.
But Jess met his gaze and spoke before he could. ‘Thank you, Dan, for giving me the opportunity to pick your solicitor’s brains about my situation. He’s asked me to fax him some information that I need to get from the cottage. Would you mind if I collected that now? Ella’s asleep.’
‘Of course.’ What Dan wanted most was to take her into his arms and comfort her. And that confused him. He believed, and he truly meant it, that it wasn’t right to have any interest in Jess Baker aside from being her employer.
You’re dodging issues, Dan. Luke’s attitude is right up there with the best of those issues. Why do you think he feels so opposed to you experiencing any interest in Jess? He believes you should only ever have feelings for his late mother, and…
What if Dan wanted to have feelings elsewhere?
Before he could think about that, Jess nodded and started for the door. ‘I’ll be back soon.’
Jess drove the short distance to her cottage. How much longer would she have it? Did she have to lose it? What work could she get to support her and Ella when all she knew was how to be a daycare mum?
Jess parked her little car beside her equally unpretentious cottage and forced a controlled expression to her face before she stepped out.
‘Just get the paperwork. Ella’s asleep back at Dan’s. You don’t have time to waste.’ Jess got a small locked box and took out her copy of the agreement she’d signed with Peter Rosche and what paperwork he’d given her in relation to ownership of the cottage. There was nothing in it to say there were back rates owing, as Jess had checked at least ten times since Lang Fielder delivered that notice to her doorstep.
As she drove back towards Dan’s house she passed Lang driving out towards her home looking smug. Well, if he’d been looking to speak with her he could just miss out. She’d rather hear back from this solicitor and then see what needed to be done.
‘Oh, good, I can hear Ella starting to stir.’ Jess spoke in the most determinedly cheerful tone she could muster as she stepped out of Dan’s den ten minutes later. She’d faxed all the information to the solicitor and he’d told her he would speak with her by phone later in the day or tomorrow, to let her know his thoughts after reading everything. ‘Thanks, Dan, for the use of your fax—and for the use of your solicitor.’
Jess started towards the room that held Ella’s travel cot. ‘Are we taking the children to the town fair? I know the boys were hoping they could go this afternoon.’
Once the words were out, Jess replayed them in her head and heat climbed into her cheeks because how could she just do that? Just assume it would be ‘Jess and Dan’ taking the children to the fair? As though they were all one big family and Jess had the right to make such sweeping suggestions.
No, she hadn’t thought that, but Dan might be too busy. ‘That is, I would be more than happy to take them.’ And she would be, but there was another side to it. ‘I’m just a bit concerned that it’ll be like the beach. I can imagine they’d have more fun if we didn’t all have to stay together in one tight pack, but if I was on my own I wouldn’t want them running rampant all over the fair-ground.’ Not to mention if Luke decided to show his stubborn streak and go off on his own. ‘But can you spare the time, Dan?’
&n
bsp; ‘We’ll all go. I’ll make up the time later if I have to. We’ll only be there a few hours.’ Dan started towards the outside of the house. ‘I’ll go round up the boys. I suspect by the time I convince Rob he has to change into clean clothes before we leave, you’ll have the girls sorted out.’
So they went to the town fair.
Jess came across the sons of a family she knew and introduced the boys to Rob and Luke. They got into conversation during the cow show.
‘Actually those ones are bulls.’ Jess said this to Mary, who’d made the observation that the cow part of the fair wasn’t all that interesting.
‘Why don’t you come to our place one day soon?’ One of the boys made this invitation to Luke and Rob. ‘We’ve got heaps of cool computer games and other things.’
Rob’s eyes lit up. ‘Can we, Dad?’
‘If the parents would like to give a call to confirm it’s okay, yes.’
Dan handed over a business card with his mobile number on it. They went their separate ways then.
Jess walked at Dan’s side pushing Ella in the stroller, and refused to think about the picture of a family that they must all make. They weren’t a family. They were two very separate families, but, more even than that, Jess was the employee. That put her in a whole different league.
‘We’re going on that one, Dad.’ Rob pointed to a ride that gave Jess vertigo just trying to look at it. ‘It’s got to be the best one here.’
Jess took the girls to various sideshow stalls, and showed them through the big hall filled with craft items and baked goods before they went in search of Dan and his sons again.
‘Dad, will you take me on that ride? Please? I want to go on it, but not by myself.’ Mary asked the question of her father while Rob and Luke made their way forward in a queue for another more adventurous ride.
The ride Mary had indicated was a beginner’s ride with completely enclosed cage seats that turned similarly to a merry-go-round.
‘I’ll go on it with you, Mary.’ Daisy made this offer. ‘Annapolly would probably like that one as well.’