by Lauren Canan
* * *
No one had seen her leave. She’d all but disappeared. What was Victoria doing, and where was she doing it? While the housekeeping staff searched inside the house, Wade followed a hunch that led him outside. As he rounded the back corner, he immediately spotted her. Lying on her back in the grass with one arm thrown over her eyes, she appeared completely relaxed. It was a sight he’d never imagined seeing. Victoria was not one to embrace nature in any size, shape or form. Apparently that had changed. At least temporarily. He noted she wore no shoes. Perhaps a call to Dr. Meadows was warranted?
Wade approached slowly, not wanting to startle her, but needing to know she was all right.
“Victoria?”
“Hi,” she responded but didn’t move. “This is so great.”
“We do have chairs.”
“Not out here. Only around the pool. You don’t have a bench, remember?”
She had him there. “No. No bench.”
Using her arms, she pushed herself into a sitting position. “I think over there, under that tree, would be the perfect place to put one.” Intending to scramble to her feet, she winced and grabbed her left side, the site of the bruised ribs. Pushing on, she got to her feet and walked over to the place she’d suggested. “About here. You can see the waterfall and most of the flower beds from this location. It’s shielded by water ferns and banana trees. It’s quiet, private and beautiful. What do you think?”
Wade wasn’t sure what to think. Her behavior was anything but normal for Victoria. “Yes. I agree. It looks like a perfect place.”
He watched as she once again lowered herself to the ground. “Come and join me.” She patted the grass next to her.
Hesitantly, he ambled over and looked around for an alternative place to sit.
“Sitting on the grass won’t hurt you.”
“It won’t help either,” he muttered, then lowered himself to the lawn. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sat on the ground. She was right: it wasn’t bad. He was surrounded by the smell of rich earth and flowering plants. Images sprang to his mind of the ranch where he and his brothers had grown up. The rolling hills, the unbelievable palette of color in the fall, trail riding for days, campfires at night. It was long ago, but those memories he would keep forever. Their mother had insisted her brood be raised in the country, believing a child needed to feel a bond to the land. His father had reluctantly agreed, so their sons had grown up on a ranch, learning about cattle and beef prices and what it took to operate a spread of enormous size.
He had always envisioned raising a family on the Masters ranch. He pictured his wife loving it there as much as he did and their kids spending their days on horseback exploring the countryside. In his early years, he’d hoped to find someone who shared his heart as well as his dreams. Finally, he’d given up and made himself settle on a wife that shared nothing except what was required in the contract. A facade for all to see.
“Victoria, do you remember any part of your past? Childhood? Adolescence?”
“Intermittently. I have mental glimpses of people and things. Like I recognized the Dallas skyline. I don’t know how I knew it was Dallas. I just knew.” She was quiet for a few moments. “I think I used to work with my hands.” She held them up in front of her face. “They feel...empty.” She sighed.
This was the first he’d heard of such a thing.
“And I’m pretty sure I used to like being outside.”
“That I can assure you was not the case. At all.”
“No?” She frowned and seemed to let the thought roll around in her mind. “I’ve been getting these feelings that just seem...right.” She glanced at Wade. “I can’t explain it better. I wish I could. But being here, outside, feels right.”
Wade didn’t have an answer to that, so he didn’t try. “Sit up and let me see your face,” he said.
The bruising was almost gone and the cut on her lower lip had pretty much healed. “Better,” he stated and was gratified to see her smile. “How do you feel, generally?”
“Good,” she said and looked up into his eyes.
Less than a foot separated them and the temptation to lean toward her and put his lips against hers was overwhelming. What was wrong with him? This was Victoria. How out of place was any temptation to touch her? She raised one hand and placed it against his cheek and he shuddered at the sensation.
“You have such a handsome face,” she whispered. Her gaze lowered to his mouth. Wade could feel himself harden at both her touch and the implication of her words.
Pure lust shot through his body as his mind fought to hold on. As hard as it was to believe, he wanted her.
“Your lips are very...”
Wade’s tentative hold on his self-control grew thinner. His hands cupped her face, and he eased her toward him. For an infinitesimal moment his face remained a breath away, his lips open, ready to taste her. He wanted to kiss her. Hell, he wanted to do more than that. His subconscious mind screamed no! Just behind her moist lips, perfect white teeth guarded the nectar he knew he would find there. He could feel her soft breath on his face, saw her eyes close as if in preparation for his kiss. Heaven help him. Slowly he placed his lips against hers, and the grip on his desire slipped away.
He pulled back and for a few seconds fought to hold on to the control he desperately needed. The raw hunger for this woman rose in his gut. This was insanity. He could not—would not—be attracted to Victoria. He damn sure wouldn’t have an affair with her. She would use it against him eventually, somehow. Yet all he wanted to do was make love to her right there. Near the flowers she apparently loved. Right in front of God and everybody.
Anger at his own weakness overcame the temptation. He rolled to his feet. She was watching him, a look of confusion in her eyes. He took a deep breath and tried for normal.
“Have you contacted your mother?” he asked after clearing his throat.
She frowned. “Yeah,” she whispered, then took a deep breath. “It was awkward. I didn’t know how to address her.”
Victoria claiming she didn’t remember that vile woman could be a good thing. Still, he knew when the memories came back, more than likely her mother would be among them.
“Wade, why did you—”
He cut her off. “It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“I was going to ask why you stopped.” Victoria lay back on the soft grass. “Please don’t go.”
Pheromones shot through his body, and it took most of his strength to refrain from going back to her. His body was hard, tense. He needed a release. Dammit, he needed Victoria.
“I have a meeting.” And if he didn’t get away from her soon, he would never make it to that meeting.
“That’s too bad. I think you need to relax occasionally. And I think you would enjoy daydreaming in this beautiful garden.”
“Daydreaming doesn’t allow much time for business.”
She looked at him, a smile warming her face. It was the first time he’d seen her without anxiety and pain marring her delicate features. Or the mask of disgruntlement she normally wore. It was the first time a freshly scrubbed and exceedingly beautiful Victoria had actually smiled at him rather than smirked.
“That’s too bad. Really.”
There was absolutely no way Victoria would normally sit outside on the grass under the shade of a tree. Let alone smile about it. He would definitely take it up with Dr. Meadows when they went in for her appointment.
“I’d better get back inside. The meeting is in about half an hour.”
She wiggled to a more comfortable spot on the ground. “Here? At the house?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s it about?”
He couldn’t help looking at her to see if she was joking. Victoria had never shown any interest in any aspect of the business, not that he would ha
ve let her be privy to much of the information. As long as the contractual installments that kept her here were paid on time, she couldn’t care less how the money was earned. It was odd that she’d asked. But what about this entire situation wasn’t odd?
“We’ve just received all the clearances for the resort we’re preparing to build in the Caribbean. I’m meeting with the architect and the designer to finalize the plans for the cottages.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Fun?” He scratched the side of his face. “I never really looked at it as fun.”
“Might as well like it if it’s something you have to do.” She shrugged. “Thank you for coming to look for me.”
In the five years he’d known her, he had never heard the words thank you leave her mouth. He was pretty sure he’d never heard Victoria say those words to anyone. Her mind-set was one of privilege. She expected people to wait on her, and in her mind that didn’t require any thanks. He could get used to this new Victoria.
He brushed off his slacks and bid her good day, heading back to the door. He couldn’t help but wonder what else would be revealed on her journey to wellness and how much longer this new Victoria would be around.
Four
Dinner that evening was held in the dining room. The forty-eight-seat table kind of put it in perspective: her husband had yet to discover the world of casual. But the food, when it was served, was delicious. She closed her eyes, savoring the taste of the fresh Maine lobster. “My gosh. This is so good,” she said, not waiting until she’d chewed and swallowed.
“I’m glad you find it to your liking.” There was an unmistakable glint in his eyes.
She nodded her head. “How’d your meeting go?”
“Okay. It was just a formality to finalize plans for the resort. John provided an artistic take on the landscaping, and Mac reiterated the completion dates.”
“Landscaping?” A picture flashed in her mind. A woman sitting in a windowsill, behind her a glorious sunset as she smelled a rose, a soft smile on her lips. Victoria’s head throbbed with the memory.
“Yeah.” Wade took another bite of his lobster. “The final idea seems off to me, but I couldn’t say what is missing or what, if anything, needs to change.”
She nodded, taking a sip from her water glass, hoping the throbbing in her head would go away on its own.
“Would you have any interest in seeing the sketches? Maybe you can spot something we missed. You seemed to enjoy yourself at the waterfall today and had good ideas about putting in some seating.”
Her gaze shot to his face. “Me? You want me to look at them? Seriously?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Why not? Unless you don’t want—”
“Yes. I’d really like that.” He was reaching out to her for the first time. He was offering her a glimpse of his world. It was a small step toward rebuilding their relationship, maybe even a few steps in the direction of trust.
They ate in silence for a while. Victoria looked around the massive dining room, at the wainscoting, the three crystal chandeliers above the table and the forty-six empty chairs. It was so formal.
“Do you...we always eat in here?”
“In the past, you’ve preferred it.” His answer was dry, like he didn’t necessarily share her taste for it.
“Isn’t there a kitchen?”
He raised one eyebrow, indicating her question was absurd. “I believe we have one, yes. That would be where the dinner was prepared.”
“I mean, does it have a table?” she pressed. “Something smaller than this? Or a bar? You know, with stools? A place where just a couple of people can sit and eat. A place not so formal.”
Wade looked perplexed. It was as though the idea had never occurred to him or he’d never expected her to make such a request. And now that she’d said it, she wasn’t at all sure why she wanted somewhere unpretentious. After being married to Wade for eight months, she should be used to this type of formality.
“I believe we do.”
She refocused on her plate. “Have you ever had all these chairs filled? Like, at the same time?”
“On occasion.”
“That’s a lot of pizza.”
He stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth. His lips pursed at the unexpected humor. Clearly, he remembered their previous joking about his family business being a pizza joint.
“It is. And we serve only the best. But no jalapeños,” he said in a serious tone.
“Agreed. Or anchovies.”
“Or anchovies.” He finished taking his bite of food.
“How long have you lived here?”
He patted the linen napkin against his mouth. “It’s actually the family home. My grandfather started the business and did well enough that he had the core building erected before he died. My father later added the west and east wings. It works well for meetings that last several days and provides enough space for guests to stay without going to a hotel. The business associates visiting from other countries especially seem to prefer to stay here.”
“When they’re not here...it’s a big house for just two people. Do you ever get lonely? Do I?”
He shrugged. “You’ve always seemed to manage. I’ve been staying here off and on most of my adult life. I guess I’ve never really thought about it. I have other houses, an apartment in New York, a villa outside of Rome, a flat in London. I stay in whatever area my business requires.”
“So...you’re here now because of me?”
“Primarily.”
Why did that realization make her a bit sad? What important things had he had to cancel because of her?
She glanced at him as he returned his focus to his plate. He was so incredibly male. A tuft of hair hung over his forehead. Combined with the tanned face and dark features and the way he sometimes looked at her, he clearly gave off the impression there was a bad boy inside just waiting for a chance to come out. It was a total contrast to the proper, ever so polite Mr. Masters persona he strove to make people see. It was a look that said he could eat her up and still stick around for dessert. She’d had the same thoughts this morning when he’d kissed her in the garden. That kiss may have been soft and tentative, but it would have quickly grown to hunger he couldn’t hide or easily control. She had to wonder if he ever let go of the rigid restraints he maintained and let raw passion determine his actions. Let the beast inside free. She took another sip of her water, determined to keep her imagination at bay.
“What about your family? Any brothers or sisters? Parents?”
“Both parents deceased. I have three brothers. All younger. Cole is also involved with the business, just a different facet of the corporation. Chance is recently retired from the military and runs the ranch in Calico Springs. Seth lives in Los Angeles. We all try to get together a couple of times a year or whenever possible. Haven’t seen Seth in a couple of years. We stay in touch by phone or Skype.”
“You all grew up here? In this house?”
He shook his head. “No. Actually, we lived on the ranch.” He hesitated as if wondering whether or not to say any more.
“Please go on.”
“My...mother came from a ranching family. She learned early on to respect the land, and she was determined her sons would grow up in the same environment. Apparently Dad finally agreed, so, just before Chance was born, he built a house on some land his family owned. We attended the local schools and grew up checking out the wide-open spaces on the back of a horse. Seth is a half brother and was born and raised in LA.”
Wade rested his elbows on the table and linked his fingers. His gaze was directed at the far wall, but Victoria sensed in his mind he was a long way from here.
“Mom and Dad both believed a person should work for what they had and were determined for all of us kids to know the value of a dollar. Since we were living in Mom’s playg
round, those lessons were learned by mending fences, feeding the livestock, taking on the general responsibilities of ranch life. Later, after college, Dad introduced each of us one by one to the world of business. One day led to another and here we are.”
“You’ve never gone back? To the ranch?”
“I did for a while. But it’s been close to a year.”
“I think you should go,” Victoria encouraged. “I think you should take a week—or more—and revisit your memories. See if you can still saddle a horse.”
Wade laughed and the glitter of amusement shone in his eyes. “Maybe I will.”
“What...” She cleared her throat. “What did I do while you were away or working?”
Wade laid his fork down on the plate and seemed to give her question some thought. “I don’t think you did...anything.”
“That’s crazy.” She frowned, placing her fork across the gold-rimmed plate. “I had to do something. I mean, no one can just sit around and breathe day after day.”
Wade shrugged. “You went shopping. Went to the hairdresser. Visited your friends. I really don’t know.”
Now it was Victoria’s turn to look shocked. “I didn’t work? Didn’t help a charity? Arrange garage sales? Dig holes? Nothing?”
“Victoria, we didn’t really see a lot of each other. On average, I spend more than half the year traveling. When I’m not out of the country, I’m in meetings or working in my office in the city, where I also keep an apartment. Occasionally we do attend a social gathering together, but even then, you have your acquaintances, and I have mine.”
She was speechless. She couldn’t imagine living the life he described. It sounded horrible. For a married couple, it just didn’t make any sense. Somehow she knew within herself she was not the type to hide away day after day in this big house. And Wade had to take some downtime and enjoy life occasionally. No one could live as he’d described for years on end without paying for it physically, if not emotionally. Everybody needed time to relax. To laugh. To dream.