She was obviously interested in the fellow, for she stood near the buggy, looking up at him as they talked. Then he jumped down and walked her partway to the house.
After Rebekah had gone inside, Caleb let the harness slide down his horse and then heaved it off. Taking his time unhitching the buggy, he pondered his sister’s desertion for the day, so unlike her.
Where had Rebekah gone? It was none of his business, really, yet he wondered how she had managed to stay safe and warm on this brutally cold day. Now that he was stabling his horse, he realized how near frozen he was himself. Rebekah could not have spent the day out in this.
He made his way through the stable area and pushed the barn door open. Heading across the way, he heard the crunch of snow beneath his boots, glad he’d worn an extra pair of woolen socks. As he entered the back door, he heard voices—Daed’s and Rebekah’s. This was no time to emerge from the utility room.
“I know where you’ve been!”
Caleb was stunned at the sting in his father’s voice.
Total silence from Rebekah.
“You never think before you act, do you, daughter?”
Caleb cowered, concealing his presence.
“If you were out where I think you were, you ain’t welcome in this house!”
Wisely Rebekah remained silent. As a lamb brought to slaughter . . .
“Did you attend the New Order church today?” came the angry inquiry.
“I will not lie, Daed.”
Caleb slumped.
A crack—the sound of his father’s fist slamming against the table, the one he’d made decades before. Surely this blow had split the wood.
Caleb could see there was no talking to Daed tonight about his own decision. No, he would bow out, and quickly, hoping for a reasonable discussion at a later time.
“Get out!” Daed shouted. “I do not want to see the likes of you.”
No! Caleb wanted to defend his sister, but once again he felt trapped beneath his father’s dominion . . . and his desire to protect any future with Nellie Mae.
What will Rebekah do?
“Jah, I was disobedient,” his sister said meekly. “But I choose to follow my Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Then begone from my sight!”
Caleb heard sniffling, then sobs, as Rebekah dashed up the stairs to pack a bag in submission to their father’s unreasonable punishment.
I won’t let her flee alone into the night, he decided, slipping out the door to hitch up his poor tired horse yet again.
Nellie’s tears were nearly dry by the time she arrived home. She unhitched the carriage from the horse and left the enclosed buggy near the barn for Dat to tend to in the morning. Refusing to give Caleb another thought, she led their best driving horse into the stable.
Once inside, she hurried to her room, where she sat for the longest time, unable to move.
She heard a creak in the rafters and finally removed her heavy bonnet. Then she reverently removed her Kapp and slowly prepared for bed, slipping into a fresh nightgown. Oh, how she wished the sights of this evening could be shed as easily as her clothes. Now that she was home, she wondered if Nan was back from the New Order gathering. She longed to share her heartache with someone, and Nan was the most natural choice.
Moving silently down the hall, she stopped at what had always been Rhoda and Nan’s bedroom. So many changes lately, she thought, poking her head in the door.
Seeing her sister already tucked into bed and thinking what a comfort it would be to simply slip in next to her, Nellie did just that. She was careful not to lean too hard into the mattress on Rhoda’s former side so as not to awaken her sister. The warmth from Nan’s slumbering body soothed her as she settled herself beneath the heavy layer of blankets and quilts.
Then, lying as still as could be, she realized she could not sleep. The image of Caleb’s handsome face rose up in the darkness—the light in his eyes as he’d talked to Susan-nah . . . the set of his lips, his whole body in alignment with hers, or so it seemed. Would she ever be able to erase the vision of her beloved talking so intently with Susannah? Standing so close . . .
Every breath she took was filled with missing him. Yet he’d deceived her so. She groaned inwardly, struggling to hold herself together in the bed where her older sisters had often talked late into the night, before Rhoda got the ridiculous urge to chase after the fancy.
Nellie recalled the fervent hope in Rebekah’s face—and the upturn of her determined mouth—as she departed for the Singing tonight. What would come of Rebekah’s departure from the Old Order for a full day was yet to be known.
She’s fortunate to have such a faithful friend in Nan.
Nellie slid her hand toward her sleeping sister, stopping when her fingertips touched the edge of Nan’s gown, spread out against the flannel bed sheet.
The hope of sharing her heartbreak with Nan faded with each of her sister’s rhythmic breaths, and Nellie missed Suzy more than ever.
Rebekah’s sadness resonated with Caleb’s own this night.
He sensed it in his sister’s slumped posture as she sat next to him in the carriage, even though she showed no other outward sign of grief. As far as he could tell, her resolve was remarkably intact as they made their way to the Fishers’.
“You sure Nellie’s . . . er, Nan’s house is where you want to stay tonight?”
She was quick to nod. “Ever so sure.” Her teeth chattered. He endured the frigid temperature as best he could, dreading the return ride, chilled as he was to the bone. But Caleb felt he deserved whatever punishment the elements meted out. Hadn’t he broken Nellie’s heart tonight?
That he hadn’t done so intentionally offered no consolation. To think he was heading right now to her father’s house, to shine his flashlight on her window as he had done once before, this time to get her attention for his outcast sister’s sake.
He gripped the reins and tried to will away what had transpired earlier at the Singing—the searing pain in Nellie’s pretty eyes.
“You feelin’ awkward ’bout this? Taking me to the enemy, so to speak?” Rebekah glanced his way.
“No.” He wouldn’t let on precisely how awkward the whole situation was.
“Seems kinda odd, really. And Nan’s goin’ to be surprised, I daresay.”
He considered that. “Well, maybe not.”
“S’pose you’re right.” After all, Rebekah had spent the entire day with the Fishers. Surely Nan could guess what Daed’s response to that might be.
“Did the whole Fisher family attend the new church?” he asked, not wanting to come right out and inquire after Nellie Mae’s whereabouts.
“All but Nellie.”
So there it was. His sweetheart was being true to the Old Ways . . . and to him.
But now? What would happen between them? Would she accept his explanation, once given?
He couldn’t allow himself to ponder that now. Truth be told, he must first see to it that Rebekah was safely settled for the night—take on the responsibility of a good brother, something Daed had unknowingly handed off to him. He shook his head at the memory of their father’s permitting things to escalate out of hand. As far as Caleb was concerned, it was Daed’s fault that Rebekah was out on her ear tonight.
Rebekah was still in her running-around years, not having joined the church yet, so why should she be punished for visiting Preacher Manny’s church?
None of this made a lick of sense.
At last they reached the end of the Fishers’ drive, where he left the horse and buggy, his sister still perched inside.
Caleb crept up the lane and shone his flashlight high onto Nellie’s window. He waited, holding the light there, wondering how long it would be before he might attract her attention.
He waited with no response. He thought of knocking, but he didn’t want to wake Nellie’s parents, who had no doubt been asleep for hours.
Again he shined the light, leaving it poised there. Then, when Nellie did n
ot appear, he moved the flashlight around in circles, still shining its white beam on the glass. When even that failed to bring her to the window, he rotated the light back and forth between the two west-facing windows.
Perhaps she was ignoring him. He certainly couldn’t blame her for that. Fact was, she had not so much as peeked out from behind the shade to see who was standing down in the snow, shivering beneath his long johns and heaviest wool coat.
“Caleb!” called his sister from the road. “I’m terribly cold.”
I’ll try one more thing before I wake the whole house.
Quickly, he turned off the flashlight and leaned down to scoop up a small bit of snow. Then, rolling it even smaller, he tossed it lightly so as not to make a loud thud.
He waited, growing more concerned for his sister as the seconds ticked past. Twice more he threw a snowball.
Could it be that Nellie had decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and ridden home with someone else?
Caleb dismissed the niggling thought. Not his Nellie. Even so, where was she, if not sound asleep in her bed?
Nan started and rolled over, apparently surprised to encounter Nellie lying there next to her, wide awake. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I simply couldn’t be alone.” Nellie sighed, wanting to open her heart to her sister. Yet she hesitated, wondering if she should unburden her woes when Nan was still smarting from her recent breakup.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Nan inched closer. “What’s wrong, Nellie?”
“Caleb’s betrayed me,” Nellie said softly.
“Oh, dear sister . . .”
Then the misery of her discovery began to pour out of her like a dam breaking apart. She told Nan everything, beginning with the secret meetings at the old mill, walks along the millstream, Caleb’s letters, their forbidden love. “We’ve willfully disobeyed his father, just as you and Rebekah have.” She struggled to speak. “And now . . . this . . . with Susannah.”
Nan reached over and cupped Nellie’s cheek with her hand. “I’m ever so sorry, Nellie. Truly I am.”
“After all the planning—for our future together—he ups and does this baffling thing.” Nellie could not hold back her tears. “I never would’ve believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Oh, Nan, it was like he’s held a torch for her all this time.” She wept so hard, the bed shook. “How could I not have known?”
She thought of the times she’d seen Susannah flirt with Caleb or attempt to during youth gatherings—one hayride in particular, she recalled. And there had been plenty of other times, too. But she had never noted any interest from Caleb toward Susannah—till now.
“Oh . . . it hurts so bad.” She clung to Nan, certain her broken heart would never mend.
“Nellie . . . Nellie.” Her sister held her as she wept, saying no more, soothing her by stroking her hair.
“Caleb?” Rebekah’s voice was laced with worry. It sounded as if she was about to cry.
He hurried back toward the buggy, thankful for the traction of his boots against the hardened snow. “I can’t raise anyone. I’m terribly sorry.” He leaned against the horse, hugging him for warmth. “Come here, Rebekah.” He must not let his sister get so chilled that she became ill. That, on top of being ousted from home, was a trial she should not have to bear.
“This is . . . just awful,” she said.
“Don’t cry. Your tears will freeze to your face.”
She wiped them with her mittened hand.
“I guess we’ll just have to knock,” he said.
“What if I simply slipped inside?” Rebekah glanced toward the farmhouse. “I know right where Nan’s room is. . . . I could go up there . . . try not to startle her.”
“Would you be welcome, do ya think?”
She nodded, trembling now as he pressed her against the horse, sandwiching her between himself and the steed.
“Nan wouldn’t want me to freeze to death.”
“Nor would Daed.” The words escaped him. Surely their father would not wish for Rebekah to suffer. Why had he abandoned her? Had he no concern for his own flesh and blood this bitter night? Caleb could not imagine treating a son or daughter this way.
“Come, sister, I’ll walk you to the house.”
Rebekah reached for his arm, and he felt the weight of her, though she was ever so slight.
Stepping quietly into Reuben Fisher’s enclosed back porch, Caleb felt like an intruder in more ways than one. But getting out of the elements for a few moments was essential now.
“I’ll do my best to keep in touch,” Caleb whispered. “Somehow we must.”
Rebekah only nodded.
Once his sister had stepped into the kitchen and out of sight, he contemplated Nellie’s whereabouts once again, hoping she was not still riding around in this cold.
Nellie Mae was a sensible girl. Certainly she was not one to get revenge. She would have headed directly home after their brief encounter at the barn Singing. Doubtless she was here in this house and so deep in slumber—hopefully not weeping— that she hadn’t noticed his flashlight on her window.
Caleb consoled himself with that and let himself out of the house as quietly as he’d entered a few minutes before.
A sudden sound in the hallway made Nellie’s ears perk up. She strained to listen, and then there was nothing. “Did ya hear that?” she asked Nan.
“It’s late . . . could it be Rhoda comin’ back?”
“Rhoda’s long gone, I daresay,” Nellie replied.
More creaking came from outside the bedroom door. Then they heard, “Nan . . . it’s me, Rebekah.” This brought Nellie and Nan straight up in bed.
“What the world?” Nan leapt onto the cold wooden floor. “Come in. Ach . . . are you all right?”
Caleb’s sister sniffled as she entered. “Daed’s done kicked me out.”
“Oh, you poor girl!” Nan gave her a quick hug.
“My brother Caleb brought me here.”
Caleb went home without riding with Susannah?
“I thought I might stay here for—”
“Stay as long as need be,” Nan said, still hovering near Rebekah.
Nellie leaned her arms on her knees, astonished at Rebekah’s late-night appearance and moved at Nan’s loving concern for her friend.
Rebekah sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ll try ’n’ find somewhere else to stay after tomorrow, though, so you won’t be stuck with me.”
“Puh, don’t be silly. You’re welcome here,” Nan insisted.
Nellie had an idea and she said it right out, thinking Rebekah might wish for solace from her stressful night and for the comfort of friends, as well. “Nan, let’s untuck the bed sheets and lie sideways across this bed . . . you know, like you, Rhoda, Suzy, and I used to.”
“When we were just girls?” said Nan.
“Jah, when we were ever so little.” She sighed at the thought of the changes the years had brought . . . each broken heart there.
Without another word, they did precisely that, pulling the bedclothes off quickly to remake the bed horizontally.
Nellie went to her room to get a third pillow. Then they all crawled into the bed and curled up—Nan and Nellie at the head and foot of the bed, with forlorn Rebekah between them.
CHAPTER 25
“I’m behind on my washing.” Rosanna bemoaned the fact as her cousin came in the back door Monday morning.
“Well, here, let me help,” Cousin Kate said, reaching 229 for baby Eli.
Grateful, Rosanna hurried downstairs to complete the task of doing the laundry. She’d begun with two loads of the babies’ clothes and was now sorting Elias’s trousers and long-sleeved colored shirts. She put the clothes into the old wringer washer powered by a small gasoline motor.
Soon she made her way up the stairs and discovered Kate in the front room, swaying slowly as she held Eli, talking quietlike. Rosie, too, was awake now and crying in the playpen, and since it was nearly time for the next feeding, Rosanna went to the
kitchen to pick her up. Despite Kate’s offer of assistance, Rosanna sensed a real sadness in her cousin—her cheeks drooped and her eyes were swollen. Had she been crying?
Kate didn’t return with Eli to the kitchen as Rosanna wished she might. Instead she sat in the rocking chair in the front room and opened her dress to nurse him within view of Rosanna, two rooms away.
Rosanna squelched the lump in her throat. Kate was again willfully ignoring her request that she adhere to the original plan and stop nursing either baby at two months of age, a date that had passed nearly a month ago. She might break down if she didn’t keep herself in check—either that or storm in there and tell her cousin what she really thought for once.
Not wanting baby Rosie to sense her frustration, –Rosanna breathed deeply and asked the Lord for patience, praying the way Preacher Manny had taught them yesterday at the worship service. Thinking of the wonderful-good gathering, the joyful sermon, and Elias’s conversion, she already missed the fellowship of those who’d come to hear the Word of God and were eager to do it. She truly hoped Elias was in favor of returning next Sunday . . . and the next. If so, they’d be joining that church next spring, after council meeting and a day of fasting. Rosanna was so thankful to the Lord for calling her husband as He had her.
Doing her best not to stare at Kate with Eli, she prepared Rosie’s bottle, gazing into her darling face all the while. Rosie blinked up innocently at her, her big eyes ever so trusting.
“You’re hungry, aren’t ya, sweetie?” She kissed Rosie’s ivory forehead. “Won’t be long now, I promise.”
All of a sudden the emotions she’d been masking since Kate arrived began to shift from deep in her heart to her throat and now, this minute, to the tip of her tongue. If she didn’t hurry and get Rosie’s bottle ready, she might not be able to see due to her tears.
Why does Kate torment me so?
She moved to stand in the doorway between the kitchen and the small sitting area, watching Kate rocking and cooing. But Eli was hers now. Hers. How dare Kate come here and disrupt things—incite near rage in her?
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