by Natavia
Truth is I wasn’t planning on telling a soul because I still loved him. He helped me out a lot when he didn’t have to. Every small paycheck he had from when he worked, he gave to me for my grandmother. I ended up depending on Zadik at an early age. He didn’t have to do what he did for me, so I knew he loved me.
“Give me my space,” I said.
I tried to leave, but he wrapped his arms around me. He cried and pleaded with me to stay with him.
“I won’t do it anymore,” he cried.
“I need to think!” I yelled at him. I pushed him away from me and stormed out of his dorm room. I knew from that moment on, my life wasn’t going to be the same. Zadik was the love of my life. My heart was set on him, and nothing in the world could make me think otherwise.
Two weeks later…
I laid in bed depressed. I kept up with my school work, but I shut everyone else out of my life. I didn’t want to see my grandmother until I got myself together. I stared at the ceiling while Faraji was talking to me about something.
“What is wrong with you? Are you pregnant? You don’t eat and all you do is sleep. Do you want to go to the clinic?” she asked. I rolled over on my side and faced the wall.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
“Did you and Zadik break up? He’s been hounding me about you. He keeps asking how are you feeling and if you still love him,” Faraji said.
“My grandmother isn’t doing too well,” I lied. Faraji sat on my bed next to me and rubbed my back.
“It’s going to get better. You did all you could do, but it’s time for you to start living for yourself. You can’t shut us out. Call Zadik so he can stop calling and stopping by. I’m tired of lying to him by telling him you are not here. He’s even harassing Samiah and Adisa. Adisa, of course, asked him did he fuck another bitch.” Faraji said and I laughed.
“Y’all got my back. I love y’all,” I replied.
“Love us enough to tell us what’s going on,” she replied.
“I know you are not talking,” I replied.
“I don’t say shit when it comes to my coins,” Faraji said. After she left out of my bedroom, I headed for the shower. When I walked out I had my towel wrapped around me. Cayman was sitting in the living room on the couch watching TV. I didn’t know he was there, he must’ve come in when I was in the shower. Funny how things turned out between us. I didn’t tell Faraji I met Cayman before she did because she was a good match for him. I couldn’t help but to wonder how our date would’ve turned out. His eyes locked with mine, and he looked at me the same way he did when I met him.
What is he looking for? I thought.
“My bad,” he said and covered his eyes. I rushed to my bedroom and closed the door. Cayman and I didn’t talk much—it was an awkward feeling. I think he felt guilty because he ended up dating my friend, but he didn’t have anything to feel guilty about. We only spent a few hours together, so he didn’t owe me anything. Faraji burst into my room and I covered my breasts.
“I’m going on a date with, Cayman. Do you need me to stay here with you?” she asked.
“No, I’m fine, but next time knock,” I replied. Her eyes roamed over my body as she smirked.
“I didn’t know you had all of that underneath your clothes,” Faraji said staring at my hips. I noticed how she looked at women and sometimes how she looked at Adisa and Samiah. I figured it was just a college phase or something because everyone seemed to be suffering from a sexuality crisis.
“Carpet muncher,” I teased and she laughed.
“I just might be,” she said.
Did you fuck my mother? Naw, you wouldn’t do that. You hate Chloe just as much as I do, I thought. I couldn’t fix my mouth to ask Faraji that question. Chloe wanted to get inside of my head, that’s why she said those things.
She winked at me before she left out of my room. I called Zadik and he answered on the second ring.
“Thank God!” he said into the phone.
“I only called because you have been harassing my friends,” I replied.
“Can we talk over dinner or something? We can go to the Olive Garden,” Zadik said.
“I guess we can talk,” I said. After I hung up the phone, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail. I applied a little lip gloss and eye make-up. I wore a cute sweater with skinny jeans. On my feet, I wore a pair of riding boots which was the same forest green as my sweater. By the time I was finished, he was in front of my building. I grabbed my purse and cell phone before I headed out of the door. Zadik tried to kiss my face when I got inside of his car.
“Don’t do that. I don’t know whose dick you had down your throat,” I said.
“I don’t suck dick. I don’t want to argue, shorty. Listen, I don’t know what to do without you, Emeka,” he said.
“You cheated on me with a boy, Zadik! Do you think this is easy for me to digest? Not only did you cheat, but I caught the two of you fucking. If you wanted to stick your dick in someone’s ass, you should’ve told me. I’m not experienced in that department, but you could’ve told me. I don’t know what to do anymore,” I said. I cried all over again. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
“I can’t help it. I tried to control it, but I just couldn’t,” he said. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked at his handsome face, and I wanted to slap him. I hung my head down in shame because I still wanted to be with him.
“I won’t do it again, I promise. When I get drafted I’m going to marry you. I swear on everything, Emeka. We are going to live like normal people and no one will know what I did to you. Just stay with me,” he begged.
Once we arrived at the restaurant we were immediately seated. I wasn’t old enough to order a drink, but I wished like hell I was. I needed something strong like whiskey or cognac. We made small talk after we ordered our food.
“Are you attracted to me?” I blurted out.
“You know I am. What I did has nothing to do with that,” he replied.
“What if I slept with another boy. How would you feel?” I asked. He sat his soda down on the table after he took a sip.
“I would be crushed. Why would you think about something like that?” he asked.
“You don’t get jealous over me,” I replied.
“You don’t give me a reason to. You don’t dress sexy like the rest of your friends. You wear make-up but nothing too noticeable. I don’t have any competition and that’s a good thing, right?” he asked.
“I’m plain,” I said.
“But you are wifey material, Emeka. I would do anything for you. I will give you my last if you needed it. I want to be with you, so that doesn’t matter to me,” he said. Surprisingly, I blushed because he always said the right things.
“Don’t hurt me again,” I said. He kissed my lips and wrapped his arm around me.
“I missed you. I have been going through a lot. Adisa is mean as hell. Why do you hang out with her again?” Zadik asked.
“People just don’t understand her,” I laughed.
After dinner, we went for a walk around the Bowie Town Center. Zadik held my hand and we seemed like a perfect young couple in love. We were in love, but far from perfect.
**********
We ended up at my apartment after our date. Although Faraji was out with Cayman, I locked my bedroom’s door. Zadik pushed me against the wall and tongued me down. I almost pulled back but his kisses were deep. He had never kissed me that way before. He pulled my sweater off and groped at my breasts. I moaned his name because of how horny I was. I didn’t know where the fire came from, but I didn’t want it to be put out. Zadik wasn’t an aggressive lover, but he was being aggressive in a way that made me want it in the worst way. In the back of my mind, I knew what it was. He wanted to prove to me that he loved me and was capable of pleasing a woman. I should’ve stopped him, but he had my pants around my ankles. He slid my panties down and pulled me towards the bed.
“OOOHHHHH
HH!” I moaned when his tongue entered me. He spread my lips opened with his thumb and first finger as his tongue devoured my moist center. I dug my nails into his shoulder as I cried out his name. He pushed my legs back so that his face could be buried into my pussy. My legs shook and my nipples hardened. I pulled my own hair. I didn’t know what he was doing to my body. He covered my pussy with his mouth and sucked on it like a snowball. The sounds of him slurping on my wetness caused me to cum in his mouth. I wrapped my legs around his neck and almost cried as I came. He unbuckled his pants and pulled his dick out. He was hard dripping with pre-cum. I gave him a condom from out of my nightstand and he rolled it on. He slid into me and I gasped. Zadik was very big in size, so it wasn’t easy in the beginning. He pushed my legs up and went deeper. I gripped the rails on my headboard and held on for dear life. He wasn’t making love to me, but he fucked me instead. I found a new love—rough sex. I wanted him to pound me until he couldn’t anymore.
“GO DEEPER!” I screamed as I came. Sweat dripped between my cleavage. I felt possessed. He went deeper and although it hurt, I still enjoyed it. Zadik’s hand slid underneath my pussy and upwards towards my ass. Curious about what he wanted, I didn’t stop him. My body erupted in pleasure when he entered his middle finger inside of my anus. After he saw my reaction, he turned me over on my stomach. He opened my cheeks up and stuck two fingers inside of my anus instead of one. I mysteriously enjoyed it and I figured he wouldn’t cheat again if I gave him what he wanted. I tensed up when I felt the tip of him entering my ass.
“Shhhhhhhhhh. I’m going to be gentle I promise,” he whispered in my ear. A tear slid out of my eye as he squeezed his big dick inside of my tiny rectum. I also wondered if he told Roderick the same thing while he was ramming his big dick in his ass. I covered my mouth to hold my cries in because I didn’t want to push him away. After minutes of pain, I began to enjoy it. He was going slow, but I wasn’t as tight as I was. It was a different feeling, but it felt good. He reached underneath me and played with my pussy.
“SHHHHIITTTTTTTTTTTTT!” I screamed out. Zadik gripped my hair and groaned in my ear. Seconds later, he released inside of the condom. He fell on top of me and cradled me.
“That was awesome,” he said and I giggled. I was too exhausted and my body ached. I fell asleep moments later.
*********
When I woke up, Zadik, was still in my bed. I climbed out of bed and grabbed my robe. I headed for the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a bath. Faraji stood in the doorway of the bathroom eating a banana. She only had on a bra and boy shorts.
“You are glowing this morning,” she teased and I blushed.
“Let’s just say after dinner was mind-blowing. Zadik went above and beyond last night,” I bragged.
“Awwww shit about time,” Faraji joked. I stuck my head out of the door to make sure Zadik didn’t come out of the room.
“I tried it the other way,” I whispered.
“Oh really? Did it hurt? It’s not bad once you get used to it,” Faraji replied.
“Can you put some clothes on in case he wakes up?” I asked her. She smacked her teeth and headed for her room. After I took a shower, Zadik was still sound asleep. His phone beeped on the nightstand. I didn’t want to snoop, but after everything that transpired I had to. I flipped open his phone and it was a message from, Roderick. Sweat beads form on my head as I prepared myself to read the message. I was glad that, Roderick, was begging Zadik to talk to him. Zadik was focusing on our relationship. I laid the phone on the nightstand and climbed back into bed with, Zadik. It was the weekend and all I wanted to do was spend time with him. I was happy at that moment because I felt like everything was working in my favor, but deep down inside I knew things were going to get worse.
10. Faraji
December 2004
“T hree hundred dollars!” I said to Professor Fields. I was still sexing for money although I didn’t have to anymore. I was addicted to the money. When Emeka saw me that night getting out of the car, I had just gotten finished with a client. I was addicted to sex—lots of it. I was a bisexual prostitute. After Professor Field unzipped his pants I eyed his pink monster. Our secret meetings had been going on since the beginning of the school year. Cayman was a good man and treated me with nothing but respect. He looked past my ass and breasts. He said those assets were a plus, but it was my drive that turned him on. A lot of females were checking for, Cayman, but he only had eyes for me. He took me out wherever I wanted to go. He bought me flowers just because and I really adored him. I was being selfish by dragging him along. I liked him a lot and thought about having a future with him. Sad to say that I liked my secret fast life even more. Behind closed doors I controlled whomever I was paid to please. My life was exciting and I wasn’t ready to give it up—not even for Cayman.
I stripped down to my black thong. I reached inside of my backpack and pulled out my big, black dildo called Mandingo. Professor Fields was a man with class in the public’s eye. He dressed nicely and was one of the smoothest professors on campus. He was also strikingly handsome with piercing blue eyes and blonde hair which he kept cut close. I always charged him out of pocket because of the things he wanted me to do. He liked to get rammed up the ass with my dildo. It was actually disturbing, but he paid top dollar. I met him through one of my old Johns. One day after class he pulled me to the side and told me who referred him to me. I started bringing in bigger bucks afterward. At eighteen-years-old, I had a clientele. I brought home eight-grand or more a month.
“Give it to me rough, daddy!” he said to me. His muscled buns were tooted up in the air on the bed inside of a hotel room. Professor Fields was confused. He figured since a woman was screwing him with a dildo that it wasn’t considered gay. I held my breath and closed my eyes while I pleased him. The good thing about him was that he came quick. Ten minutes later, I was getting dressed. He placed the money inside of my hand and just like that I was gone.
I headed over to Cayman’s apartment because he wanted to cook for me. I knocked on his door and he opened it wearing baller shorts. His body was nice—very nice. He pulled me into him with one arm and seductively kissed my lips. His hand squeezed my ass and I giggled.
“I guess you are happy to see me,” I said.
“I’m always happy seeing my queen,” he replied. I felt a tad bit guilty because he always treated me like his queen, but I only treated him like my king when I was with him.
“I hope the food is done because I worked up an appetite getting here,” I said. I tossed my coat and purse on his couch after I walked into his apartment.
“Man, I told your ass I would’ve picked you up after I got off work. You know I hate when you come over here on public transportation by yo’ self.” Cayman was so old-fashioned at times because of the time he spent with his grandfather and uncle.
“Is the food ready?” I asked.
“Hell yeah. I know how cranky yo’ ass get when you’re hungry and a nigga is not tryna’ have that.” I could be a bitch when I was starved.
“What would you like to drink?” Cayman asked.
“I want a glass of ice water with a shot of Hennessy,” I replied.
“Anything for you queen,” he said. I thought Cayman would’ve been tired of me by now. When I first met him, he somewhat had an issue with my straight-forwardness. I switched it up for him so he could see how different I was. I sexually turned him out. I’m not saying he wasn’t experienced, but I had the upper-hand when it came to sex. I role played for him, I sucked his dick until his toes curled and I let him do whatever it was he wanted to do to me. I was his whore for free and I stroked his ego. Cayman became blinded to who I really was because he was straight-up pussy whipped. My eyes stared at the bulge that hung between his legs. Cayman was hung like a horse and I couldn’t wait to ride him.
“I thought you were hungry,” Cayman said. He knew what I wanted.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m starved,” I replied and licked my lips.
&n
bsp; “Your young ass is a freak,” he said.
“You only have me by four years Cayman,” I chuckled.
“You must really want me to fuck the shit out of you tonight,” I said when he uncovered my food. He made me my favorite; crab cakes, baked potato, Caesar salad, and shrimp. Cayman didn’t know how to cook until I taught him. Surprisingly, he was willing to learn.
“Yo, your mind is always going to the bedroom, and that ain’t even why I did this,” he spat. His attitude caught me by surprise.
“Is it that serious?” I asked.