Beckett smiled as though Knox had just informed them he’d single-handedly breeched Pentagon security. He knocked back the rest of his beer, chunked it in the thigh-high stainless steel trash can that always seemed to be full and smacked Danny on the shoulder. “Come on, brother. We gotta go.”
Danny sputtered and volleyed his attention between Beck and Knox. “Man, I just started this beer.”
“Toss it,” Beckett said as he rounded the island. He’d changed into a nice button-down, but had kept his faded jeans and a pair of black boots that would make Trevor proud. “Pigs just flew out my front door. I’ll buy you another one to celebrate when we get to the club.”
Still utterly clueless, Danny poured out what was left of his Bud and tossed the bottle. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
Beckett glanced at Knox then zeroed in on Knox’s hand still coiled around Darya’s arm. “I’ll explain on the way to the club.”
Of course, he would. And not just to Danny, but to all the other guys, too. But then the rest of the guys already knew his history. The only surprise they’d get was learning Knox had shown up at his home with a woman in tow.
It wasn’t until Beckett prowled closer and eyeballed Darya that Knox realized how he’d positioned himself in front of her.
Beckett stopped right in front of them and planted both hands on his hips. “You gonna let her out from behind you so I can say hello, or act like a fucking caveman all night?”
Caveman sounded good. Especially if it stopped his brother from making any bigger of a deal of things than he already had. Okay, granted it was a huge deal, but still.
Knox shrugged and stepped to the side.
The second Beck had a clear path to Darya, he stepped in, wrapped her up in one of his big bear hugs and kissed the top of her head. “Welcome to the family, sweetheart.”
Darya’s gaze shot to Knox, her eyes wide and loaded with questions he didn’t have a clue how to answer.
“Think you’re rushin’ it a bit,” Knox grumbled.
“Really? I’d say I’ve been bettin’ a thousand on this run. Just wished I’d thought to go double or nothing while I had the chance.” He chin-lifted in lieu of a goodbye and ambled to the front door, Danny trailing in his wake. “This mean I need to call rally?” he said without looking back.
“Leave it alone, Beck.”
That earned him a quick grin over Beckett’s shoulder. “Now where’s the fucking fun in that?” He dipped his head at Darya and opened the door. “Have fun.”
The door clunked shut behind them.
Darya adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder, one of those uncertain I-need-something-to-do-with-my-hands moves women always did when they didn’t have a clue how to move forward. “Well, that was interesting.”
“What it was, was Beckett being a pain in my ass.” The weight of their backpacks slung across one shoulder finally got some processing time in his frontal lobe and he motioned to his half of the loft with a jerk of his head. “How about I offload our stuff and show you around? Not sure what I’ve got to eat, but we can order delivery if you want.”
She nodded and fell in beside him. Hearing her heels softly click against the concrete was strangely gratifying. As if a little of the unrefined bachelor fog had been lifted simply by her presence. She craned her neck this way and that, taking in every detail. “What did Beckett mean?”
Fucking Beckett. One of these days he was going to have to find a way to mute the guy’s voice box. He opened the door to his suite and dodged the best he could. “Which part?”
“He said pigs flew out of your front door. Did I misinterpret something?”
He laughed louder than he had in days and veered to the right of the double-sided bookcase that served as the primary divider between his office and his bedroom. Through the wall of windows opposite them, the sun had just dipped beneath the horizon, leaving only a fiery orange in its wake. He set both their packs beside his desk. “Jesus, your English is so good I forget sometimes it’s your second language.”
Circling in one place, she perused the open space. Compared to the contemporary edge of their office, the traditional style was probably a shock, but he’d always told himself if he got a place of his own, he’d trick it out like some fancy English lord. Low and behold, he’d made it happen. She finished her open examination of the space and lifted her eyebrows in silent encouragement to continue.
“It’s hyperbole,” he said, then realized that probably wasn’t going to be much help either. “An exaggeration for a miracle happening. Like when hell freezes over.”
“A miracle?” She meandered over to his bookcase. The bobbleheads he’d collected for as long as he could remember lined the whole center section, except for two shelves packed with pictures he’d saved of him and his brothers. His family.
She nudged his Milton bobblehead from Office Space then seemed to realize he hadn’t answered. “Knox?”
Well, what the hell. Beckett would share the news inside of another thirty minutes anyway, which meant he’d get all of a two-or three-day grace period before the moms swept in. “I brought someone home.”
Her smile slipped, a mix of confusion and sorrow moving across her face. “You’ve never done that?”
He shook his head. Or at least he tried to. Given how tense the muscles in his neck and shoulders were, he wasn’t sure how good the movement turned out. His voice wasn’t much better. “I never had a place to bring anyone before high school. My foster homes were either too crowded or not welcome to me having company.”
“But surely after...once you got your own place.”
A slow, uncomfortable panic crept in, casting an unwelcome shadow he had no intention of letting overcast tonight. “Never.” He snagged his backpack off the floor, unzipped the main compartment and pulled out his laptop.
She moved in beside him and laid a hand over his forearm just as he sat in his big wingback and centered the computer in the middle of his desk. “Why?”
He shrugged and captured her hand in his. Smoothing his thumb along her knuckles, he let the memories surface. “Another way to keep women at a distance, I guess. Once you’ve had enough disappointment, you find ways to limit the damage going forward.”
Edging close enough her knees brushed his, she gently combed her fingers through his hair. It was such a giving touch, full of heart despite its simplicity and so potent it quaked through every part of him. “It was the teacher who disappointed you? The one you mentioned that first morning after we...”
She dropped her gaze and bit her lip, all the comfort and ease she’d shown since Beckett and Danny’s departure disappearing under uncertainty.
Oh, no. That wasn’t happening. His pain was one thing, but she wasn’t suffering through it. Not by his hand and damned sure not tonight. He tugged her hand enough to draw her off balance and guided her tumble forward so she landed in his lap. “You mean the morning after we started something I cannot find an ounce of regret for?”
Her smile was brilliant. Totally the stuff of spring mornings without a single cloud to blemish its beauty. Talk about a way to pump his ego up into Empire State Building range. “Not an ounce?”
He traced her jawline and marveled in the moment. Never in a million years did he think he’d find the courage to take this chance, but now that he was here, he wasn’t going back. Not for anything. “Nada.”
She studied him, her fingers cautiously moving above his sternum. “Do you think...would you tell me about her?”
It was a reasonable request. One he had every intention of mirroring back at her when the time was right. No matter what her past entailed, he’d make sure it never came back to bite her. But if he expected her to share her secrets, he’d have to grab his own by the nuts and show her he was worthy of knowing.
He swallowed huge, the
action hindered by the fist-sized knot in his throat. “I was big for my age. Cocky as hell and looking for trouble anywhere I could find it.” He chuckled as some of the lightness from those days filtered through. “I told you, Beckett and I really didn’t have a ton of supervision, so we didn’t really have to look hard.”
“I found a picture of you.” She giggled as she said it, but it had a husky edge of confession to it, too.
“You found a mugshot. Hardly my best look.”
“But you were handsome.” She snuggled a little closer to his chest. “My guess is trouble jumped in your lap.”
Actually, she wasn’t far from the truth. Beck had been just as eager as he had to explore the physical wonders the girls at school afforded them, but Knox had tackled getting them off with the same tenacity he spent penetrating firewalls. “I got a bit of a reputation, yeah.”
Darya waited, patiently watching him while he tried to find some way to ease into the uncomfortable topic. As if sensing his lack of direction, she offered, “What was her name?”
“Tami Henderson.” It was weird saying her name out loud after all these years. Weird, but not nearly as traumatic as he’d expected. “She was my history teacher. Had her for sixth hour. All the kids loved her because she wasn’t the uptight stick-up-their-ass type and really loved what she did for a living.”
“You were attracted to her?”
He grinned at that. “Uh, yeah. So was every other guy at the school. She was in her mid-thirties, but had a smokin’ bod and wasn’t the least bit shy about showing it.”
“So, you approached her?”
Cold crept through his veins, starting at his toes and fingertips and winding its way toward his torso. He hugged Darya tighter to fight it off. “No. I was ballsy as hell, but not that ballsy.” He anchored his gaze on her and ripped the Band-Aid off. “Just after Christmas break, she asked me to stay after class one day. From there, things just happened.”
Her face softened and she cradled his cheek with one hand. “She meant something to you.”
He hesitated for a second, trying to find the right way to explain it. “I didn’t have anyone growing up. Not until I met Beckett. And yeah, I love him the way I would a brother by blood, but a man can only give you so much.” He tugged her shirt free of her prim skirt and slipped his hand against her warm flesh, needing the contact to ground him. “I never had a mom. Never had affection. Tami gave me that. I thought it meant something to her, too. Had shit all planned out. Happily ever afters and everything. Totally pussy whipped.”
“But she didn’t feel the same?”
He scoffed. “If she did, she dusted me off quick enough. We’d kept it quiet all of second semester, but one of the other kids caught wind of what was going on and spilled to the principal. We had one week left before graduation. One week before I thought we could be on the up and up and wouldn’t have to hide this great thing between us anymore.”
“What happened?”
Pulling in a long bracing breath, Knox met her stare head on. “When the principal called us on it, she said I’d coerced her into the affair. That I’d threatened her with physical force if she didn’t comply. Not quite a rape allegation, but close enough things got dicey for a day or two. The cops were even called in to investigate.” He pursed his lips, the memory just as bitter now as it was all those years ago. “In the end, she graciously opted not to press charges. Mighty kind of her, right?”
“She betrayed you.”
That she had. And he’d vowed the day he walked out of that school he’d never let anyone else close—a vow Axel, Jace and the rest of the guys had practically taken a battering ram to get through.
Funny, having said everything out loud, his reasons for acting the way he had seemed silly. Like the act of sharing with Darya had shone a huge spotlight on his shadowed closet and found nothing but empty space and cobwebs where he’d though a host of skeletons rattled. “I guess if I’m fair, it wasn’t just her that did me in. I was ripe for disappointment. I told you the only homes I knew were foster placements, but everyone I went to I hoped I’d find a place. A family. When Tami gave me all the affection I’d ever wanted and talked about long-term, I gobbled it up.” He scratched his chin and huffed out an ironic chuckle. “Pretty sure there’s some psychobabble analysis a shrink could have a heyday with in all of that. Confusing the need for a mom with intimacy and all that.”
“Our past makes us who we are. Yours made you appreciate the family you earned later and strong enough to accomplish more than most people ever dream of.” Softly spoken, her words were still thick with emotion and loaded with the protectiveness of an alpha she-wolf. She lightly trailed her fingers through his hair along one side. “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
He caught her hand in his and laced their fingers together. “You know I’m going to ask the same thing.”
Fear flashed in her eyes and her body tensed.
“Easy.” He tucked her head against his chest and smoothed one hand down her spine. “It doesn’t have to be tonight. Not tomorrow or next week, but someday.” He paused enough to let her focus and really hear what he had to say next. “I want to earn your trust. For you to figure out I won’t judge you no matter what your story is and let me keep you safe.”
She nodded, but didn’t look up.
Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up. God knew, he hadn’t skipped into sharing his details whistling Dixie. What he could do was get shit back in lighter territory and take a stab and being a regular guy without a fuckload of hang-ups. “So, I’m new to this whole normal relationship routine. Any idea what we do next?”
Her giggle was the prettiest sound he’d heard in ages, second only to the sound of his name on her lips when she’d come around his cock. She lifted her head and bit her lip. “You could feed me.”
The temptation to follow it up with a saucy quip about fucking her afterward danced on the edge of his tongue, but that was his usual MO. After all the hurdles he’d put them both through, she deserved better. “You okay with pizza? Momma McKee usually keeps us stocked with decent leftovers, but the way Beckett works through food, my guess is there’s not much left.”
“Chicken supreme with jalapeños?”
“Sweetheart, you could ask for anchovies and I’d say yes. Which, if you knew how I felt about anchovies, you’d know that meant I’d also walk through hell for you.” He tugged his phone out of his back pocket and thumbed up the nearby pizza place he kept in his favorites. “What else should we do?”
She cocked her head. “I still haven’t seen Airplane.”
“I think I could swing that.” He punched the call button and tucked the phone between his shoulder and ear. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“We eat it and knock out the movie just like this.”
She cocked one eyebrow. “At your desk?”
“No. Spread out on the couch out front, but with you close.”
A lady answered his call and rattled off the name of their establishment, the racket in the background promising they had at least an hour’s wait ahead of them.
“No distance,” she whispered.
He smiled at that. Leave it to his woman to sum things up the most precise way possible. He held the mouthpiece away from his lips and murmured against her lips, “No distance. Those days are over.”
* * *
A deep, rumbling voice and a soft but firm nudge to Knox’s shoulder jogged him out of sleep. He cracked heavily weighted eyelids. The monster TV mounted on the wall beamed the main menu of his movie library back at him, pooling soft white light on him and Darya and the brown suede sectional where they’d spent their night. The rest of the room was dark.
Darya lay curled sleeping against him, her head heavy against his chest and her bare legs tangled with his. He grin
ned at the sight of his T-shirt almost reaching her mid-thigh. Never in his life had he let a woman wear his clothes, but seeing her pad from his bedroom after their massive pizza annihilation in nothing but the soft navy blue cotton was hands down one of the most gratifying sights of his life.
He closed his eyes, ready to let the blackness pull him back under.
Another chuckle sounded on his right, followed by another nudge. This time his brain managed to categorize the voice. “Hey, get your woman in bed,” Beckett said. “You two will sleep for shit out here.”
Knox’s addled mind finally got in the game enough to realize Beckett was probably right, then followed up by pointing out just how much of his woman’s legs were on prime display for Beckett’s appreciation. Cranking out the mother of all ab curls, he carefully cradled Darya against his chest and stood with her in his arms. “Thanks, man.” He paused as he rounded the edge of the oversize sofa. “Can you get the TV?” he said quiet enough not to wake his sleeping cargo.
“Already on it,” Beckett fired back.
A second later, the screen went dark, leaving only a single stream of light filtering from Beckett’s suite at the opposite end of the loft to guide Knox to his own rooms.
Darya inhaled deep and shifted her head against his shoulder, her warm exhalation whispering against his bare chest and neck.
This is what you were waiting for.
It was a random thought. Completely out of left field and the absolute last thing he’d expected his drowsy brain to conjure up, but deadly accurate. Holding Darya—feeling her weight in his arms and seeing to her comfort—felt right. Like after years of hacking and kicking a firmly locked door, he’d finally unlocked an elusive place inside himself and gained a whole new level of balance.
Beckett’s deep voice crept through the darkness a second before he shut the door to his suite. “Hey, Knox.”
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