by Jill Shalvis
“Overshare. Ask Mallory when she last heard from Amy.”
There was a muffled conversation, and Mallory took the phone. “I got a text from her half an hour ago. She was fine and settled in for the night.”
“She’s staying the night up there? Alone?”
Silence.
“Cone of silence, Good Girl. We’re in the cone of silence. Just tell me.”
“Overnight camping without a permit isn’t allowed,” she said primly.
Shit. He hung up and glanced at the sky. Dark-ass black, which sucked. He pounded out Josh’s number next. “Problem.”
“Are you bleeding?” Josh asked. “And by bleeding, I mean an aorta nick because I’m in the middle of something here. And by something, I mean sleeping. For the first time in thirty-six hours.”
“I’m going to miss my inquiry in the morning.”
“Ah,” Josh said agreeably. “So not an aortic bleed, but a brain leak. Have you lost your fucking mind?”
“Amy went up to Sierra Meadows. Alone. I’m going after her.”
“This is your job on the line,” Josh reminded him. “Job before chicks, man.”
“That’s bros before ’hos. And irrelevant. I let her think I didn’t believe in her, that I didn’t trust her. I have to prove her wrong.”
“By throwing away your livelihood?”
“If Toby needed you, you’d do the same.”
“I love Toby.”
Matt blew out a breath. “Yeah.”
There was a loaded beat of silence, but it didn’t last long. “Jesus,” Josh breathed. “You’re as bad off as Ty. Go. Go do what you have to. If you lose your job, I’ll hire you as my nanny.”
Matt hung up, grabbed his emergency pack out of the back of his truck, and hit the trail. Ten minutes later, at midnight, his flashlight died. He pulled out his backup. He was halfway there and had downed his five-hour energy drink stash, and now his eyes were flashing and his heart was pounding from the caffeine. He hadn’t slept last night thinking about Amy and Riley. He hadn’t slept the night before because he’d spent the hours tearing up the sheets and expending some high-quality passion with Amy. And the night before that, he’d never hit the sheets at all because of the injured hiker.
If anyone else had come out here in the forest in his condition, he’d think they needed a psych eval. Hell, he did need a psych eval.
It was twelve thirty a.m. when his backup flashlight died. So much for the Energizer Bunny. He pulled out his iPhone. He had no reception but he did have a flashlight app. Apple was his new best friend.
It was 1 a.m. when he got close. It was 1:05 when his cell phone died.
Apple was relegated to below the Energizer Bunny on his shit list, a fact that was drummed home when he took a step off the trail to take a leak and fell.
And fell.
Amy had fallen asleep by her fire, but at some point she sat straight up, startled, heart pounding. She’d heard something. A loud something, a crash…
Her fire had died down. She tossed more wood in, then grabbed her flashlight, surveying the forest around her.
Nothing.
Had she imagined it? She stood up and walked to the edge of the clearing, shining her light all around her. “Hello?”
No one answered. That was good, she decided. Unless it was a hungry bear… She glanced around nervously at the thicket of trees in front of the ravine and was vividly reminded of what had happened last time she’d been here at night.
A smile curved her mouth in spite of herself, and she moved closer, shining the light down, remembering how she’d fallen and been rescued by Matt, and—
Oh, God. There was rustling down there, big rustling, and she immediately thought of that bear. But a bear wouldn’t be swearing the air blue.
In Matt’s voice.
Chapter 24
Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it’s cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but then keeps you warm for a long time.
Matt?” Amy stared into the dark ravine with utter shock. “Is that you?”
“No, it’s fucking Tinker Bell.”
This irritated statement was followed by more rustling and more swearing.
“What are you doing down there?” she asked, flicking her light in the direction of his voice, but not seeing much. “You told me not to go down that way, remember?”
“Yes, Amy, I remember, thank you.” He paused. “I fell.”
“Oh, my God. Are you okay?”
He didn’t answer right away, and she panicked. “Matt?”
“Yeah. I just jacked up my shoulder a little bit.”
Fear joined the panic as she stared down into the inky black abyss. “I’m coming down right now.” Soon as she figured out exactly how to do that in the dark.
“Don’t,” he called up to her. “I’m fine.”
Ignoring that line, which was her own personal favorite bullshit line, she began to make her careful way down.
“Go back, Amy. I’m coming up right now.”
That’d be great, if it were true, but she couldn’t hear him moving so she kept going. This proved tricky as it was harder going down than it had been coming up. It was steep, and she needed both hands. She also needed her flashlight, so she stuck it down her top and into her bra. This mostly highlighted her own face but gave her enough of a glow that she could see.
Sort of.
“Amy, stop.”
“I’m not leaving you here—” She broke off with a startled scream as her feet slid out from beneath her on the damp, slippery slope. She fell the last few feet and hit her butt.
“You okay?” Matt demanded.
“Sure. Lots of padding.” She rushed to his side.
“You don’t listen,” he said. He was sitting up, his back to a stump, jaw tight. “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Is that your flashlight down your top?”
“Yes again. Is your shoulder broken?”
“Just dislocated, I think. Lean a little closer.”
“Why?”
“So I can see down your top.”
Okay, so he wasn’t on his deathbed. “I’ll flash you when we get you back to my camp,” she promised, realizing he was breathing through clenched teeth. Pulling out her flashlight, she used it to take a good long look at him. Despite the chilly night, a drop of sweat ran down his temple, and he seemed a little green. “What can I do, Matt?”
“You could flash me now as incentive.”
“I’m serious.”
He sighed. “I’m okay, just give me a minute.”
Well isn’t that just like a man. “You shouldn’t have come.”
“No shit,” he said. “And neither should you.”
“I meant because you have your inquiry in the morning. In a few hours! Your job—” It all hit her, and she sank back on her heels to stare at him, waving her hand aimlessly. “God, Matt, you’re going to miss it. Why would you do this?”
He took her hand, caressing her wrist with his thumb right over her pulse point. Bringing her hand to his mouth, his lips pressed against her palm. “I wanted to be here with you. Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Well, yes, actually.”
“I knew you would. That was your goal, and you’re not a quitter. You finish what you start. And I came to finish what we started.”
Her heart caught. “We already finished. And for the record, I am a quitter. I quit everything and everyone. That’s who I’ve always been.”
“Don’t bring Amy-the-teenager into this,” he said. “She quit a bad life and got herself a new one. She—” He shifted and broke off with a grimace of pain.
“Oh, God, Matt. We need to—”
“Here—Hold this,” he said, and using his good hand, lifted his arm to a certain angle. “Hold tight and don’t let go.”
She wrapped her hands around his arm. His muscles were quivering. “But—”
Matt jerked, and s
he heard a pop, and then he sucked in a harsh breath and sagged away from her.
She followed his movement, practically straddling him to see into his face. He was sweating good now, but his color was coming back, and he offered her a weak smile. “Got it in one,” he said, and then closed his eyes.
“Matt!”
“Shh,” he said, not moving. “I’m not quite up to chasing off any curious bears at the moment. And I don’t think the ones in China heard us yet. Help me out of my shirt.”
She leaned over him and unbuttoned his shirt, then spread it open to gingerly pull it away from his bad shoulder.
“I like it when you take off my clothes,” he said.
“I thought you liked it when I took off my clothes.”
“That, too.” His voice was soft and silky. “I really like that. Tear the shirt in half for me.”
She tried but she didn’t have enough strength so he took it back from her, and holding it between his good arm and his teeth, easily tore the shirt in half.
This caused her to get a hot flash, which she ignored. Matt showed her how to fold the torn shirt into a makeshift sling for his arm.
“Better?” she asked when they’d finished.
He let out a careful breath and rolled his shoulder. “Yeah.”
“We need to get you to the ER.”
“Nah, I’m good now.”
“And you say I don’t listen.” She slid her arm around him to pull him upright, muttering to herself. “No one ever listens to me. Not that I can blame them. I believed in Riley and look how that turned out.”
Matt slid a hand to the nape of her neck and tilted her face up, his own solemn. “I’m listening to you,” he said. “I’ll always listen. I might not agree, but I swear to you, I’ll always listen. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Amy.”
Just like that, her throat clogged. Her eyes burned. “Matt—”
“I never wanted you to give up on Riley,” he went on quietly. “The kid made a mistake, that doesn’t mean she is a mistake.” He stroked her hair out of her face. “She’s making restitution. She’s finding out how to make things right when she screws up. That’s because of you, Amy. You set her up to succeed. Don’t you see? The best thing that could ever have happened to her is having you in her corner.” He paused, eyes warm as they roamed over her features. “Now more than ever, don’t give up on her.”
She stared into his eyes and shook her head, incredibly aware of the heat of his body under her hands. “I won’t. I… can’t.”
“Good,” he said. “Because I can’t give up either. Not on her. Not on you. And not on us.”
Her heart stopped, and he smiled, which kick-started her heart again, painfully. Then he rose to his feet, slipping his good arm around her shoulders, leaning on her as he caught his breath. He turned toward the rocks.
“Matt—”
But he was already climbing back up.
“Matt—”
“I’m fine.”
Great, he was fine. But she was so not fine. She was worried sick. She stayed right behind him, though what she was going to do if he fell, she had no idea. At least she had a really great view, since he was stripped to just his pants and boots.
“We could see better if you shined the light out in front of us instead of at my ass,” he said mildly.
Crap. She redirected the light and ignored his soft laugh.
Finally they made it back to her campsite.
They sat on the log in front of her fire, Matt holding his arm tight to his chest.
“You’re not okay,” she accused.
“Might have torn something,” he admitted.
“How are we going to get you back?”
“I’ll be fine by morning.”
“It is morning. And you have to be back!”
“Amy.” Using his good arm, he pulled her in against him. “It’s just a job.”
She couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe what he’d done for her. She burrowed through her backpack and came up with the Dr. Pepper she’d packed. At the time, it’d felt a little pathetic, carrying one of Matt’s sodas simply to be reminded of him. But she was so glad she’d done it. She opened it and handed it over to him.
He looked as if she’d handed him the moon. She waited until he’d downed it. “Matt,” she said quietly, “you love your job.”
“I do. But I loved my last job, too, and I put that job ahead of everything else, including my own instincts and my marriage. I’m not doing that ever again.”
“Ever is a long time.”
“Ever,” he repeated firmly. “And something else I’m not doing ever again…”
“What?
“Taking off my shirt unless you take off yours.” He knocked her backward off the log and followed her down.
“Careful of your shoulder!” she squeaked, flat on her back, held to the ground by two-hundred-and-twenty pounds of sexy forest ranger.
“It’s not my shoulder you should be worried about,” he said, then covered her mouth with his. She cupped the curve of his jaw, feeling his stubble scrape against the pads of her fingers. His lips moved against hers, and though she meant to stop this craziness before he got hurt any further, she found herself kissing him back hungrily, not able to get enough of him.
How could she have forgotten how she felt when he kissed her like this? She was panting for air when he rolled to his back. “Are you okay?” she managed.
“No. Come here.”
She moved over him. His fingers were surprisingly dexterous given that he had limited motion and had to be hurting like hell. Dexterous and gentle and tender as he got her out of her clothes in record time. He urged her up, then up some more, until she was sitting on his chest. “Matt, what—”
“More,” he said, pulling at her until her knees were on either side of his ears. “There,” he said with deep satisfaction.
There was nothing gentle or tender about him now, not when he nipped her inner thigh, or spread her legs even farther and buried his face between them. With one stroke of his tongue, he had her in a heated frenzy, crying out as she climaxed. Before she’d stopped shuddering, he’d guided her down onto his body and shoved his pants down enough to push inside her as his mouth found hers again.
She could taste herself on his tongue. She was trying to be careful with his shoulder but her nails dug into his back. He swallowed her cries as he thrust up into her, powerful and primal. She couldn’t think, all she could do was feel, and what she felt so overwhelmed her that she felt her eyes fill.
His eyes were dark and heated as he looked up at her. “Again,” he said. “Let go for me again.”
That was all it took to send her flying. He was right with her, shuddering in her arms, his good hand gripping her hip as he pulled her down and tucked his face into the crook of her neck. She could feel the heat of his breath against her skin as he struggled to control his breathing.
She couldn’t have controlled hers even if she’d tried. He was still buried deep inside her, and she held him close, savoring the feel of their bodies joined together.
Finally she lifted her head and looked into his clear, gorgeous light brown eyes, and that’s when she knew.
He was it for her.
No matter what happened, no matter what he said now, that fact remained.
“I’ve made some pretty spectacular mistakes in my life,” he said quietly. “The latest was when I let you think I’d given up on us.”
She tried to climb off him but he held her tight, pulling her down to him, pressing his lips to her temple. “Stay. Stay with me.”
“I understood why you might have given up,” she said. “I’d lied to you.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Which just proves that I’m not the only one who can make a spectacular mistake.” He smiled at her. “That’s good to know.”
She couldn’t smile back. Her heart was in her throat. She’d learned a lot about herself lately, mostly that it was hard to ask for forgiveness, and ha
rder still to give it. To let go and trust. But worth it. Oh, God, so worth it. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“I know,” he said. “And I’m sorry, too. So damn sorry that I hurt you. But I swear to you, Amy, if you give me another chance, I’ll never hurt you again. Not for anything. You can trust me.” His gaze held hers prisoner, and it was too much.
Way too much. She felt too open and… naked. She dropped her head to his chest. “I do trust you,” she whispered. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.”
He stroked his good hand down her back. “You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”
Lifting her head, she stared at him, then laughed. “You’re not going to be the hero and offer to solve all my problems?”
“I’m not here to solve your problems. I’m here to support you in your own decisions. I’m not going to walk away, Amy. Not now, not when the going gets tough, not ever. I’m right here at your back.”
“For how long?”
“For as long as you’ll have me. I love you, Amy.”
Staggered, she stared at him. “But you don’t do love.”
“I never said that. I said love hasn’t worked out for me. But all it takes is the right one. You’re the right one.”
No one had ever said such a thing to her before, and it made her heart swell hard against her ribcage. “I love you, Matt. So much.”
He smiled like she’d just given him the best gift he’d ever had. She settled against his good side, and they stared up at the star-laden sky. “I knew I’d find something on this journey,” she said. “I wasn’t sure what, but I knew it’d be something special.”
They pulled into the North District office at nine a.m., one full hour late, and Matt knew that hour was going to cost him, in a big way.
He didn’t regret being late. Couldn’t. He’d meant what he’d said to Amy, that he was no longer putting his job ahead of his life. That had been habit, a self-preservation technique.
And it was chicken shit.
He’d learned something about himself here in Lucky Harbor.
The town trusted him. His friends trusted him. Amy trusted him. And he could trust himself and let happiness in.
Amy was his happiness.
The ranger station parking lot wasn’t usually a hotbed of activity, but this morning the entire lot was jam-packed with cars.