She ran for her crystal box and whatever towels she could grab and was back in a breath.
A golden shield appeared in the air, hovering above him. “I normally don’t use shields . . . but I could have used . . . that fucking shield . . . a few minutes ago.” He groaned as he plucked the shield from the air above him and laid it down beside his head.
She wiped the tears from her face, grabbing two healing crystals and trying to clear her mind. She felt completely drained, drained of magic, stabbed in the heart by what her father had done. Then watching Valdjan get stabbed and then win the vote, she was an emotional mess.
She breathed deeply, forcing herself to focus on the wound in his abdomen. It would have pierced at least one organ, maybe two. She held a towel in place as blood poured from his wound. “You need a serious healer, or a surgeon. And I’m neither.”
“I thought it was just a dream,” he mumbled.
“It isn’t. I told you that.” She told him through gritted her teeth. “I don’t have the strength to move you to the bed.”
“Can you heal it?” he asked, his legs writhing.
“Yes, some. But I’m not a healer. I can just make it heal faster. Hold this over it while I use a healing crystal.”
He did as she asked, and she held the crystals over him, trying to clamp down on her emotions as she watched the blood pool on the floor and his face turn white. “I can’t do this. I don’t have enough magic.”
“You have to,” he told her, grabbing one of her hands. His palm was damp with a cold sweat. “I need you.”
Tears dripped from her face onto his chest. “I need you, too.”
“Besides . . . been looking forward . . . to another kiss all damn day,” he muttered.
She gave a slightly hysterical laugh. “You can have one if you live.”
“Then I will live.” His voice was weak, but the decisive tone gave her hope. “I believe in you. You can do this.”
She closed her eyes, channeling all of her energy into the crystals, trying to heal the damage in his body.
“Are you going to sing to me?” His voice sounded younger when he asked the question.
She didn’t need to sing for the magic to work, but then he squeezed his eyes closed. If he wanted her to sing, she would sing.
“Stay with me,” she ordered. “Don’t give in.”
His eyes fluttered open again, lazy and heavy.
“Good. Focus on my voice.” She held the crystals over his abdomen and began to sing. It was a song she had made up during her time alone, one she’d sung many times to keep herself company through the nights alone.
His eyes were narrowed with pain, but he kept them focused on her as she sang.
For a full verse of the song, she didn’t feel anything, and her vision began to blur.
Did I forget how to do a healing?
Then a hot wave of energy shot through her into his belly.
“Aargh!” he yelled, his entire body arching off the floor.
“Sorry,” she said frantically, stopping the song. “I haven’t healed another being in a thousand years, and maybe the singing made it stronger. I can’t control it—and I don’t want to stop it.” She continued with the blast and could almost feel his body sewing itself back together beneath her hands.
There was an expression of discomfort on his face, and he was gritting his teeth, but he held still.
“Sorry it’s so strong,” she apologized, letting the flow continue until it slowed and then finally stopped. When the last tendril of magic was gone, Ithyll slumped onto the floor beside him, breathing hard.
He pulled her close, resting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
She didn’t have the energy to pull away, but she didn’t want to anyway. “I hope . . . it worked,” she said between breaths.
After a few minutes, he tried to sit up and winced.
She slowly pulled him back down. “Just stay here. You don’t want to tear anything again, just let your body heal tonight. I’ll bring you some bread and soup.”
She slowly pushed herself to her feet, and when she returned with soup he could drink from a mug, his expression was fierce.
“Why didn’t I watch for that bastard?”
“You couldn’t know he would try to kill you. Who was he, anyway?”
“I don’t know.” Valdjan shrugged. “Clearly, he didn’t want the portals to stay open.”
“I wonder if he lost someone in the attacks.”
Valdjan sighed. “He probably did. Haven’t we all? I will say this, though. It’s getting harder and harder to choose sides.”
As Ithyll held the soup to his lips, she thought about what he’d said to the council. How he’d looked as he’d spoken. There had seen true pain in his eyes, pain that hinted at how deeply he’d suffered.
“This is my father’s fault. He led the council that closed the portals. How could he be so blind?” Her eyes filled with angry tears as she remembered what he’d done.
Valdjan clenched her hand in his. “Your father didn’t act alone. It took eleven elders to make that vote. They were all just as blind. And he loved you, Ithyll. I saw it in his eyes. He loved you so much that it made him unable to cope with losing you. Fear and love makes fools of us all.”
“But he betrayed me. He stranded all of us on the outposts by closing those portals. What right did he have to do that?”
“He didn’t have the right. And the public was against him. You don’t know what happened to him after that, Ithyll. Perhaps in the end, there was justice.”
She looked down at Valdjan again, and this time, she didn’t see someone so different from herself. He had the same fear, the same pain.
But beneath it was strength.
It was his strength that drew her to him, that made her want to be closer to him.
When he was finished with the soup, she rose and set the mug on the table before gathering his damp bedding and pillow. She dried them quickly with her magic, as well as the floor beneath him. “I don’t think I can lift you to the bed, so . . .”
“Thank you,” Valdjan said, taking the pillow and putting it beneath his head.
She hesitated for only a second before drying more of the floor and sitting beside him.
He looked away. “I guess you don’t have to worry about me chasing you for a kiss tonight.”
“Right.” She smiled down at him.
“Did you hate it that much?”
“No,” she said too quickly. “It was . . . nice.”
“Nice?” he asked incredulously. “My kissing had never been described as nice before. I must be losing my touch.”
“Or maybe I’m just immune to your charms,” she replied loftily.
Rather than pursue her as he had before, he sighed. “Maybe you are.”
The words held a note of resignation, and a strange tightness constricted her chest. She sat there silently for a long while, trying to decide what to do. She didn’t want to leave his side in case he needed something during the night. And part of her just wanted to feel him close to her again.
Finally, she decided to take a chance. She lay beside him and put her head on his shoulder again.
He tensed for a moment and then wrapped his arm around her. “Things would be very different if I could move right now.”
That was the Valdjan she knew.
“Perhaps.” She snuggled closer to him. “Perhaps not. But you’ll never know, will you?”
He opened one eye and looked down at her. “Don’t write me off yet.” He shifted and winced. “This little cut is just a setback.”
She could have sworn his lips brushed her forehead before he settled back and closed his eyes.
Neither of them spoke, and she fell asleep wrapped in the warmth of his body, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Valdjan
Valdjan awoke with Ithyll in his arms, and it took him a second to remember why.
H
e inhaled deeply, searching for pain in his abdomen, but he didn’t feel any. Between Ithyll healing him and his own cyborg enhancements, he was completely healed.
He drew in another deep breath, this time focusing on the scent of flowers, herbs, and sunshine that lingered around the woman in his arms.
He’d never known nature to have a scent until he’d met her.
Searching his feelings, he realized he really wanted to take the final test. He had learned so much from the first two tests. He’d learned the history of the elves and the Ardaks. Maybe that information would help turn the tide in this war.
And he’d also grown so much. Almost against his will, these tests were pushing him, forcing him to think in new ways. Critical thinking. Diplomacy. Being thrust into new situations with only his wits to guide him.
Abruptly, he realized the elves weren’t just testing him to see if he was the one who could protect the crystals.
They were forcing him to become the one who could protect the crystals.
He’d never anticipated that.
He didn’t know what exactly he’d imagined before the tasks had begun. Perhaps he’d imagined giving them to Tordan and Aielle, letting them lead the army to victory.
But if they expected him to become the Protector, it seemed the elves had something different in mind.
Ithyll was changing, too. She was the guardian, but she was also just like him. A being thrust into a war they hadn’t started. He’d seen her younger self in the test yesterday, so full of fire and the joy of life. He owed it to her to pass the tests.
All this time, he’d tried to ignore his growing feelings for her. Because the truth was that even though he teased her, he knew he could never deserve her. Even if he passed the tests.
Her magic was probably only tingling because he was the only man she’d seen in a thousand years. There was a power about her, magical and beautiful, and she deserved someone who was her equal.
But he couldn’t deny that it felt right to be lying next to her.
Almost like she was his.
She stirred, and he glanced down to see her eyes were open.
“What are you thinking about?”
He shrugged. “Nothing. Everything. Yesterday was a big day.”
“It was.”
“You risked your life for the test.”
“No, not for the test.” She met his gaze steadily. “I risked my life for you.”
He felt an unnamed, powerful emotion overtake him. He blinked against the sudden blurriness and rolled onto his side, cradling her head in the crook of his arm. Then he brushed her long, white hair back from her face. Her tiny features were so beautiful, her golden eyes glowing at him. Brushing kisses over her cheeks, he murmured. “I could never deserve you.”
She braced her hands on his shoulders and pushed herself away for a moment. “There is no deserve—there is only love.”
There is only love.
And at that moment, everything stopped.
There were no tests. There were no Ardaks, no armies. Not even cyborgs and elves. He turned off his ocular implant with a thought and took in her beauty with his real, unaided vision. Seeing her as she truly was. “So beautiful,” he murmured in awe.
She reached up to cup his face, pulling him slowly down toward her. Her lips felt different this time, soft, inquiring, as if she was also aware of the change between them.
He ran his hand up her side, pulling her closer, wanting to feel her against him. Her mouth opened beneath his, welcoming him, and their kisses grew more urgent.
When he finally moved to cup her breast, she arched against him with a tiny cry. He let his hands and lips roam free, kissing her neck and breasts through the thin fabric, raising her skirts until there was nothing between them but the thin fabric of her undergarment.
He cupped her wet heat, finding the center of her pleasure, drinking in her sighs and sounds, hoping she felt at least half of what he felt for her.
What he felt for her . . .
He stopped, trying to still her writhing hips. He gritted his teeth against the feel of her, knowing he had to stop. “Ithyll.”
“Yes?” she asked, her voice breathless. “What’s wrong?” She placed her hands on his chest and her golden eyes focused on his.
He ran a hand through his hair, not believing what he was going to say. “We can’t do this, love.”
A look of horror crossed her face and she looked down at his abdomen. “Are you in pain? I’m so sorry.”
“Yes. No. That isn’t it.” he said hoarsely. “I can’t let you do this. Your magic. You can’t tie yourself to me . . . in case I die today.” The twinge in his side reminded him how close he’d already come to dying. But he couldn’t think about that, not when she was next to him, her lips reddened from their kisses. “What kind of man would I be?”
She paused for a moment, rising to her knees beside him. “The magic doesn’t work that way. It isn’t automatic—I have to choose to tie it to you.” Her eyes locked with his. “So we can continue for as long as we like.”
His breath caught in his throat as the banked fires of desire rushed over him again, along with his doubts.
Should I try to protect her? What if I don’t win?
Her hands went to his shirt and she slowly raised it, and his questions disappeared. He groaned when her lips went to his stomach, trailing kisses. She moved up to his chest, and he rose slightly to help her remove it completely.
He froze when her hands went to his pants, untying the leather laces. She slowly opened them, her golden eyes glowing brighter when she spied his naked hardness.
She raised her hand, and for a moment, everything stopped.
His hands fisted at his sides as he watched her hands slowly move toward him, knowing if she touched him he was going to shout, or scream.
In the end he did both, or neither, a strangled sound emerging from his chest and throat as her fingers closed around him. She stroked up and down a couple of times, measuring him, testing the wetness at his tip, and he grabbed her hands, pushing her away much too roughly.
But she didn’t seem to mind, and when her eyes met his, her gaze was filled with desire.
He rose, coming down over her, and she instinctively parted her knees.
“But your side,” she protested faintly, and he could tell she was as desperate to have him inside her as he was to get there.
“Feels just fine when you put your hands on me.” He brought her hands to his chest and then silenced her with a kiss. “I want to make this good. So you won’t forget me.” That emotion was back, and he swallowed against the lump in his throat.
She gripped his face in her hands, and he could tell she felt it, too. “You’re not going to die.”
He entered her and gritted his teeth against the blinding pleasure. He almost asked his chip to dull the pleasure so he could make it last longer, but he wanted to feel every nuance of this moment with her.
She closed her eyes with a sigh. “This is going to make you want to come back to me.”
“I already want to come back to you, love.” He began to move, adjusting himself to the fleeting expressions moving across her face. He touched his forehead to the center of her chest for a moment. “But this doesn’t hurt.”
She opened her eyes, the mischievous twinkle reappearing for a moment.
He increased his rhythm and the twinkle disappeared, replaced by a heat that probably matched his own.
He forced himself to move slowly until she was moving with him, as lost in the pleasure as he was. Then he rose slightly, bringing his hand between them, finding the center of her pleasure with his thumb. He rubbed in gentle circles until she was arching off the blanket, crying out, and he followed her until he felt her explode around him.
Her muscles gripped him tightly, pulling him farther inside her, and with another strangled sound, he released the orgasm he’d been holding back. He sank closer to her, pulsing in and out countless times as she came down fr
om her release.
There were no words to describe it, and he didn’t even try. He simply rolled to his side and pulled her against him, wishing he never had to let her go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ithyll
Ithyll woke to warmth, the strong scents of male and lovemaking in the air. She lay perfectly still, wanting to savor the moment, to feel its completeness. To remember every nuance of it . . . just in case.
But she wasn’t going to think about that.
It had been difficult for her to resist tying her magic to him. She had been overcome with its power, the tingling growing until she almost lost herself in it. There was something about him that was so honest, so decent and right. If they did that again, she probably would lose herself.
If he didn’t have the test today, and if she wasn’t the guardian, she wouldn’t have minded. But her duty was to the crystals and her people. She couldn’t sacrifice that duty for someone she had only recently come to love.
Love? Her fingers trembled slightly. Is it true? Could I really love him?
She wanted to deny it . . . but she couldn’t.
She glanced up at his face, finding his bright blue eyes on her.
“Good morning. Again.” His lips quirked up at the corners.
“Again,” she replied, smiling.
“I suppose I should use that river outside.” He rose slowly, testing his side.
“I have a bathing pool,” she admitted, rising quickly and backing away. For the first time, she saw him standing, completely, gloriously naked.
His eyes landed on her. “And you made me use the river?” he growled, making her giggle.
“It was funny,” she giggled again as he stalked her around the dining table, heading for the part of the cave behind her bedding alcove. She waved her hand to reveal her hidden bathing chamber.
Just as he was about to grab her, she ran into the water.
He was right behind her, kicking up water and making sure she felt the splashes.
She laughed for the first time in as long as she could remember.
He dunked himself under the water and then came up to grab her in a hug. “You are going to make me crazy.”
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