He was his old self, the way he used to be. “Is this the afterlife, my lady?”
“What would you do if I said yes?” she asked, her voice curious.
He thought for a second. “I would say that I’m grateful to be here and would ask for some Volcano’s Breath.”
Laughter came from all around him, and he glanced around, taking in elves on both sides of the enormous hall who had been completely silent until then.
The queen herself smiled at his answer. “This is not the afterlife. But we are very real, unlike the tests.” She rose and moved toward him, her steps slow and measured. “There is great power in the gifts we are bestowing upon you. Great power can be a gift or a curse to society, depending on the one who wields it. We had to be sure you were the one. That you would have curiosity and determination to search for truth, the ability to solve problems, and the ability to negotiate. That you wouldn’t stand by and watch other people suffer, regardless of how much you thought you hated them.”
She paused. “But there is one last test. A fight to death—against my champion. Rise, Valdjan.”
He struggled to his feet, seeing her champion stride into the center of the space directly in front of the throne. The queen’s champion was an elf dressed in golden armor with a golden helmet. The insignia on his breastplate was the same as the one on the back of the throne.
“I thought there were only three tests,” he muttered. The only response that came was the golden sword he’d won in the first test landing in his hands. Next, the shield materialized, and the straps wound securely around his forearm.
The champion didn’t hesitate, but came at him, raising his sword above his head to come down with a powerful blow.
Valdjan raised the shield to block the sword, staggering under the weight of the blow, moving to the side as quickly as he could to get some distance, but the elf was right behind him.
How in the hell am I supposed to beat him without my cyborg reflexes?
As the guard circled him, throwing a few test strikes, Valdjan sidestepped and dodged. The elf thrust again and then hopped lithely from foot to foot as he continued with short jabs.
But the sword he’d won wasn’t a thin, elven sword. He’d won the long sword of his people. Valdjan crouched, lowering his center of gravity, testing his footing. The smooth stone floor of the hall was vastly different from fighting on grass or dirt, and his lack of traction would be a detriment.
The guard swung again, and Valdjan countered, finally putting some force into the motion. He followed through, stepping forward, his blade running down the guard’s until their faces were inches from each other. Although the golden mask covered most of his face, Valdjan could have sworn there was a gleam in the elf’s eyes.
The guard sprang back, fending off his second thrust using quick motions that Valdjan found it hard to counter with the larger sword. The guard came at him with three quick jabs, and Valdjan pushed the last away with a grunt.
Are they all just going to stand here and watch me die?
He glanced at the queen, finding no mercy in her eyes, and glanced back just in time to block the next thrust.
She knew the fight was unfair.
That he’d been at a disadvantage from the moment he appeared in this room.
His anger spiked, couldn’t be controlled. He put more power into a series of strong thrusts.
I sacrificed myself for their mistakes.
My people suffered through the Ardak invasion.
Then a thought occurred to him, making him even angrier.
Maybe they never meant for me to get the crystals.
Maybe they were always going to kill me in the end!
Before he knew it, he had backed the guard all the way across the hall into the bystanders. He almost had the killing blow, but he stopped himself. Even if he killed this elf, there was no guarantee there wouldn’t be another test and another and another until someone finally bested him.
And he didn’t want to kill this guy, even if he was an elf.
There was no reason to.
He’d done nothing other than follow an order.
His momentary pause gave the champion the advantage, and the elf advanced with swift, hard blows that forced Valdjan back into the center.
The guard nicked his forearm, and Valdjan narrowed his eyes at him. He may not want to kill the guard, but that simple flick of the elf’s wrist told him that the elf would have no problem killing him for his queen.
I have to live—for Ithyll.
With that thought fueling his rage, he sped his thrusts, advancing with each one, the force making the guard retreat.
If I die now, it will be lost.
Everything I’ve worked for.
Everything I’ve become.
Gone.
The guard spun to the side, forcing him to turn to block a blow. Then another and another.
The guard spun again, and when he turned, he slipped and fell backward, blocking another sword thrust as he fell.
In that moment, he knew he was dead.
The elf thrust again and again—he was stuck to blocking the blows above his face. The elf’s blade struck the floor beside him and the marble cracked, splintering the hard rock in all directions.
The elf was too quick, and he couldn’t get back to his feet. As they fought, the elf’s blows got ever closer to his midsection.
Valdjan couldn’t keep blocking his head and his midsection. He knew the minute the elf got around his shield, he was gone.
Ithyll will tell them the truth about the Ardaks.
When he started this journey, he didn’t have a cause.
That had changed.
He cared about the Ardaks.
He cared about the elves.
And he loved Ithyll.
He wanted to finish this war more than he cared about his own life.
He screamed in fury as the elf pulled his hand back to deliver the final blow to his chest, and Valdjan . . . relaxed, accepting the inevitable.
He watched the blade come down.
And watched it stop.
His shield had moved on its own to block it.
He held up the weapons in his hands, both of them glowing gold.
The champion stood back, taking off his helmet. His hair was matted with sweat, but there was a smile of satisfaction on his face.
Bewildered, Valdjan got to his feet, and slowly, each of the elves began to clap. The clapping grew, and soon the hall was filled with roars and cheers.
“Silence!” the queen commanded after a few minutes, and Valdjan looked up at the throne to see that she, too, was smiling.
“Well-done, Valdjan of Siirti. The sword and the shield have accepted you for bravery, even in battle to the death. May they ever be by your side and protect you from this day forth.”
She rose from the throne, her stance regal. “And you were mistaken about so many things. The tests were never just about you or about Ithyll. They were about both of you, together. They were about personal sacrifice, believing in something greater than yourself enough to die for it. For although both of you believed, neither of you was fully invested. Both of you sitting, waiting for someone else to give you strength to take action.” Her eyes glowed brighter for a moment. “You needed to realize that, in this universe, no matter how long you live, you cannot rely on anyone else to show you the way.” Her golden, glittering eyes bored into his. “You have to believe in yourself and create your own way.”
And like the elves, the intricate beauty of the tests themselves was impressed upon him. They were meant not just to make him believe, but to make him take action. To make him create his own way.
He was a different man, and he found that the idea of the Ardaks coming didn’t fill him with the mindless fear that it did before.
“So, everything in the tests was true? You really created the Ardaks through magic?”
“Yes,” she acceded with a gracious nod of her head. “Unfortunately, we elves are
not immune to making mistakes, even with our comparably long lifetimes. And our errors tend to be worse because of the power in our magic.” For a moment, she looked very sad.
“Did this test . . . change the past?”
Her laughter and that of the others echoed through the enormous chamber, the sound reminding him oddly of the canyon where his whole journey began. Dor Lorien. The echoing place.
“No one can change the past, I’m afraid. Not even elves,” she said quietly. “But if you use these gifts well, you may have the power to change the future.”
She waved her hand, and a golden key appeared in front of him.
He didn’t take it.
The thought that had been bothering Valdjan surfaced. “My lady, I don’t know if I’m the one who should take these gifts. Even if I can make my own path, I’m not the king. Not the one with the power.”
“You weren’t the one in power during the tests, either, my cyborg friend. That is why you had to use your head, your persuasiveness, and your heart to overcome them. For no man ever really acts alone.” She drew the key from the air and placed it against his open palm before closing his fingers around it. “Have faith in yourself, Valdjan. You have the tools, and when the time comes, you’ll know what to do.”
She took a few steps back, ascending the stairs leading to the throne. “Now rise, Valdjan of the Mountain Men. Valdjan of the Siirtians. Valdjan of the Cyborgs. Go forth with the gifts we have given you and the wisdom, empathy, and love you already possessed. Know that you are worthy to speak and worthy to be heard.”
He rose, his throat tight. “Thank you, Your Highness.”
“Thank you,” she stated, waving her hands. The entire room began to dissolve into the familiar golden light. “Because of you, the magical energy has found its balance again. The universe is a better place.”
Then they all began to disappear, his vision dissolving into swirling golden light.
Valdjan found himself standing on a pile of rubble in front of the crystal room, holding the key. But while the door to the room was still intact, it was open to the sunlight, the cave in front of it completely collapsed.
Oh gods, what the fuck happened?
“Ithyll?” he called, searching the rubble. “Ithyll!”
He called upon his cyborg strength to begin moving the heavy boulders, and after several, he spied part of her dress sticking out from beneath a boulder that even he wouldn’t be able to move. There was no way she could have lived through the crushing force of the collapse. There wasn’t enough room for a body to be alive.
NO! Every muscle in his body began to tremble, his body realizing she was gone before his mind was able to admit it.
He fell to his knees by the fabric, his vision blurred, a choked scream emerging from his chest.
He put his head in his hands, and his chest began to heave. Great sobs choked him and he let out a second scream of pain.
He’d been so afraid. Afraid that he wouldn’t pass the tests, that he wouldn’t get the crystals. Even before he jumped, he’d been afraid. Afraid to stand up, to stand out. Afraid to care too much about anything.
Afraid to give his heart again.
And once he had, once he’d won, his victory had been hollow.
Because the person he’d given his heart to was gone.
And he would have to go on, to fight the Ardaks and continue to live, all by himself.
For the first time, he understood the pain of the other cyborgs. Understood the rage and grief that consumed them.
As he understood the rage and the grief that consumed the Ardaks, even a thousand years later.
It was a pain that he was certain would never end. That every moment would be half-lived, wishing she was still here.
The golden-purple crystal lay beside it, a lifeless gray.
The golden keyhole winked at him in the sunlight, beckoning him to open it.
Then he looked down at the key.
He sat at the ruins of the table, looking at the sword, the shield, and the crystals.
He was so proud, and so alone.
His heart was hollow with the pain of her absence.
And that pain was why he had to stop the war.
I am not going to let us keep killing each other, causing more pain.
I will find a way to fix this. To make it right.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ithyll
Ithyll was still crying when she reappeared in a pure white place, the pain of keeping her magic going until the cave had finally collapsed around her had been excruciating.
She wiped at her face, realized it wasn’t wet, and then glanced down to see that her body was made of pure light a second before movement stalled her breath in her chest.
Slowly, a form began to materialize out of the haze, coming toward her.
“Paradiso! Where am I? What am I doing here?” She hugged him quickly, glancing around at what used to be her home.
“You are in the space between. You have come here because your mortal body has been killed,” he said gravely.
Her heart stopped for a moment. “Was I successful at least? Did I give Valdjan time to pass the final test?”
“Yes, you were very brave, and he has already returned to Aurora with the key.”
She glanced around, feeling lost for the first time in as long as she could remember. “So, I’m free? I’m not the guardian anymore?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “You’re free of your duties to the Crystal Cave. But I think you have more to do. Obligations to your people and to the one you love.”
“But . . . how can I do that? Aren’t I . . . dead?”
“That is why I brought you here,” he replied, his voice the gentle cadence she had grown used to. “I wanted to say goodbye.”
“What? Why?” She shook her head in disbelief. Paradiso had been her only friend for the past thousand years. She hadn’t thought he would leave, hadn’t prepared for this. Her light body began to tremble.
“I have others to see. Duties I’ve neglected so I had time to spend with you.”
“But you can’t go. I need you,” she admitted, wanting to beg him to stay. “Can’t I stay here with you?”
He chuckled. “You wouldn’t like that for very long, I’m afraid. Besides, your place is in the mortal realm, even now.”
Hot tears splashed down her face, and she wondered briefly how it was possible that he had brought her here. “You aren’t just a bird, are you?”
Paradiso laughed, and as he did, the sound became larger. “No, love. I am one of the very ancient elves who still takes an interest in overseeing our race. I was enticed by your valor in coming to Aurora and then volunteering as the guardian.”
“If you were guarding us that closely, why did you let them do that to the Ardaks?”
“The universe must have a balance of good and malevolent, and there are some things mortals choose that even one such as I cannot stop. It’s called free will.”
“But they’ve killed millions. Surely, something could have been done.”
“Something has been done, and you are part of that answer. I know it’s hard to understand, but for every evil that exists, there will come a greater good. Although you cannot see it now, the evil that created the Ardaks and other races has created the opportunity for great heroes. For greater love. And greater compassion.”
“But why me? I am just one elf.”
He clicked his beak. “You are more like Valdjan than you know. You were always separate from the others—always apart. The elves who ran the empire were blinded by their lust for power, but you never fell for the lie.”
“But . . . there must have been someone better. Someone more important.”
“You think that, because you are one of the many, you are not important. But the truth is exactly the opposite. My daughter, there was never, and will never be, anyone more important than you.”
She didn’t want to lose him. Hot tears began to form in her eyes, splashin
g down her face. “You’ve been my only friend for a thousand years. I don’t want to live without you.”
He enfolded her in his wings, and she brushed up against the soft feathers of his chest. “That is the nature of time, Ithyll. No one gets to stay together forever. But you will be fine, my daughter. That reminds me . . . I’ve strengthened your shield around the cave so Nirhjar won’t be able to penetrate it, for now. But you’ll want to address the merchildren with him as soon as possible.”
Ithyll nodded.
Paradiso let her go, backing up and spreading his wings until they filled the cave. His eyes bore an expression of infinite love. “I love you, Ithyll.” The words were at once beautiful and great.
“I love you, too,” she said, her lips trembling. She didn’t want to watch him go, but she couldn’t look away.
Then he began to glow red and then yellow before the pure white space grew warmer. Sweat beaded on her skin as the room grew hotter, his entire form going pure white.
The glittering sparkles of light began to coalesce around her, and she could feel a new body begin to materialize around her. As her body grew stronger, his began to fade. And suddenly, she knew. Oh gods—he’s giving me his essence to make a new body!
Then her body was complete, and Paradiso dissipated into a ball of glittering light.
For a moment, his wings enfolded her gently one last time, and then the light disappeared.
She wanted to scream, to cry, to thank him.
He had given her more than she could have imagined, more than she could have asked for. Something so special that thanks would never be enough.
When it was done, the entire room fell into darkness, and she collapsed to the floor, weeping. But slowly, she realized she was sinking, sinking through the floor and into blackness. It gradually became lighter and lighter until she was falling through the bottom of a bank of clouds.
Below her, she could see Valdjan in the canyon, kneeling on the remains of her cave, the hem of her dress in his hands. His shoulders shaking with silent tears.
She alighted quickly on a boulder just in front of him. He must have heard the rustle, because he looked up, his face wet. She had never seen a more welcome sight.
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