Black & Ugly

by Styles, Toy

  On the sneak tip, I look through her hamper to find the white pants. I see them and my heart sinks. Almost the entire front is covered in dried blood. I grab the pants and stuff them in my backpack before she comes into the room. I don't know why I did it. I just did. She spends thirty minutes with Jay before I hear the front door close.

  She walks in the room, shaken up and real nervous.

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  "You hear anything yet?" she asks, closing the door as if we are not alone. "They know it was me?" she questions, sitting on the end of her bed.

  "Calm down, Sky," I say, trying to relax her. She has me on edge, and I haven't even heard anything.

  "No. I came by to see if you heard something," I continue as I get up and sit on the chair across from Sky so I can look in her face.

  "Nothin', Parade. I'm so fuckin' scared I don't know what to do. Jay came over here last night but I didn't want to even see him."

  "Oh, I didn't know he came over," I say, trying to prevent the jealousy from consuming me.

  "Yes, but I didn't tell him nothin.' I just hope she's okay. I ain't mean to hurt her, Parade, but she jumped in my face. You know I don't play that shit."

  "Well, what exactly happened?" I ask, feeling relieved that I will finally get the full story.

  Sky takes a deep breath, and tears roll down her face. It's the first time I have ever seen her cry.

  "She walks up to me and says, 'I know I know you from somewhere,' when I was outside hittin' the last of the bob we had in the car."

  "Where was Jewel?" I ask, attempting to bring light to the fact that the bitch left her alone.

  "She was talking to Silver somewhere."

  "Oh," I say as I shake my head. "I don't see why she would leave you by yourself. That's stupid."

  "Lada for that, Parade," she asserts, brushing me off. I think she knows what I am getting at though. "So 62

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  anyway, she comes up to me and starts talking shit. I started to come get y'all, but I ain't want her thinkin' I couldn't hold my own. We exchanged a few words and out of nowhere, she stole me. And when she did, she knocked me up against Donna's father's toolbox. My back still hurts now," she says as she stands up so I can see the black and blue marks on her back.

  She sits down and says, "So once I was down, she started hitting me again with some long iron thing she found in the backyard. I still don't know where she got it from, Parade. I was yelling for her to stop, hoping somebody would come outside. But nobody could hear shit in the house over the music. And if you looked outside from the sliding glass door, it was too dark to see because there was barely any light. So, I had to defend myself, Parade. I fuckin' had to.

  "I went in my purse and pulled out my knife and stabbed her in the stomach. I ain't want to go too deep, just deep enough for her to stop hitting me with that iron thing, but she fell down and started crying for help. I just got the hell out of there, and that's when you came outside and saw me. How did you know I was there?"

  "I didn't," I answer as I take a deep breath to absorb her explanation. "I always look for you when we go somewhere. I know somebody's always fucking with you, and I wanted to have your back."

  "Thanks, Parade. But you know who she was, right?"

  "No ... who was she?" I ask real nervously.

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  "It was the girl you fought at the mall. She was mad at the way you stomped her out that day, and she took it out on me."

  "What?" I yell, standing. "The girl in the mall that day was the same one outside last night?" She nods.

  Shit! Shit! Shit! This is my fault. Sky could've possibly committed a murder, and it's all my fault.

  "I'm so sorry, Sky," I say, hugging her. "I shoulda been there."

  "It's cool. We have to do whatever we have to do to protect each other," she says. "I hope you got my back."

  "You know I do," I respond, taking my place back in my seat. "Whateva you need me to do, I'll do." I can't get over the fact that Sky really stabbed somebody, and it's so unbelievable because we just saw those girls the other day in the mall. Again, I try to imagine Sky lying down on the ground. She's right. It was too dark outside to see much of anything. But, I did see blood all over Sky's pants and the girl lying down with her hair partially covering her face. I also remember that she wasn't moving or crying for help. In fact, she was extremely still.

  "I'm sorry 'bout all of this," I repeat. "I shoulda been there."

  "It's too late for that now. We gotta stay tight. But, you think she okay, Parade? You think she'll be fine?"

  "Yeah, I think she's okay. But if she's not, nobody knows you were out there and it was a lot of people at 64

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  that party."

  "Not to scare you, Parade," she cries as her chest moves up and down, "but I hope she's dead. I really do.

  Because if she's alive, she will be able to ID me," she pauses, "and you, too. I just know it." I can't believe what she is saying but I know she's right.

  "If she is dead, they'll probably put everything on Silver and them anyway. They always gettin' arrested.

  But if she ain't dead, we run the risk of her telling the cops."

  "So, in a way, it's better if she's dead, right?" she reasons.

  I can't nod, but it is exactly what I'm thinking.

  "You ain't gonna tell nobody, right? I mean, Miss Wayne and Daffany don't know, do they?"

  "I'm not telling nobody, Sky. Trust me. I promise.

  The less people who know, the better."

  "That's what I'm saying. The less they know, the better."

  She runs up to me and hugs me again. I've known her since elementary school, and she has never volun-tarily laid her hands on me. It was always me, wanting and needing her friendship.

  She is hugging me and my cell phone rings. She wipes the tears from her face and says, "Who is it?" as if whoever is on the phone has information about what happened at the party.

  "Who is it, Parade?" she asks again. "Answer the phone. They may be calling to tell you something T. Styles

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  about last night."

  But I can't because the person on the phone just left her house.

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  7

  Jay

  JAY IS ANGRY AT PARADE for not answering his calls.

  He feels that even though he's with Sky, Parade should be at his beck and call. He likes the idea of being able to control her and doesn't want her getting too far away from him. He is sitting in his car on his way to New York to re-up when he decides to call her again.

  The moment she answers the phone, he goes at her.

  "Where you at?" he asks her in a serious tone.

  "I'm on my way to Miss Wayne's house. You know I was still over Sky's when you called me earlier, don't you?"

  "Man, that girl ain't thinkin' ' bout us. She wouldn't even think I'd look your way. Trust me. So there's nothin' to worry about."

  He knows that hurt Parade, but he wants to be real with her. As far as he's concerned, Parade is somebody he fucks and it's as simple as that. But what he doesn't realize is that Parade gives him much more. Her kind ways, slowly but surely, are starting to make him T. Styles

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  fall for her and begin to hate the relationship he has with Sky even more. However, because he grew up in a household that looked down on dark-skinned women, he knows he can never put one on his arm - especially one that would be his ex-girl's friend.

  "Oh," she says in a low voice. "I guess you're right.

  So what's up? Is something wrong?"

  "Naw. I'm tryin' to fuck w
hen I get back tomorrow," he declares.

  "Where you going?"

  "Why?!" he yells.

  "I'm just askin' 'cuz I want to know what time to be in the house."

  "Man, I'm goin' to New York. And you need to be waitin' on me whenever the fuck I call."

  "I know, Jay," she says softly. "I will."

  "The fuck wrong wit' you? You beefin' 'bout what I said?"

  "No, it's just that my hair is messed up and I want to find a job."

  "So what, you askin' me for money?"

  "No."

  "Look, I'ma give you three hundred tomorrow, but don't think you gonna keep runnin' my pockets."

  "Thank you, Jay -"

  "Thank you shit," he says, cutting her off. "Make sure you got my pussy ready."

  "Okay ..." she responds, trying to end an embarrassing moment. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." On the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, he hangs 68

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  up without a response and decides to call Sky. Unlike when he calls Parade, he doesn't look forward to speaking to Sky. Lately, he's felt that she has become too high on herself, but her attitude is half his fault and half her parents'. They spoil that girl so much that she expects other people to do things for her instead of appreciating what is given.

  "Hey, Sky. What you doin'?" he asks, although he really doesn't care.

  "On my way to Miss Wayne's."

  "Oh. Who you wit'?" he asks.

  "I'm by myself, boy. Am I seeing you tonight?"

  "Naw. I'm on my way to New York."

  "So when was you gonna tell me?"

  "I did but you was runnin' your mouth wit' that bitch."

  "Naw, I don't remember all that, Jay," she says.

  "But anyway, what's up with tomorrow?" she asks, hoping he'll have room for her then. "I miss you already."

  "Maybe lada on that night. I got a lot of work to do.

  Niggas been slippin' on the block lately, so I have to put them youngins back in check."

  "Okay, baby. Don't keep me waiting too long. You don't want nobody else getting my attention, now do you?"

  "No, Sky," he says, hating how she constantly throws other men in his face. "But look, I'll get up with you lada, a'ight. I was just callin' to check up on you right quick."

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  "Okay." She smiles. "You love me, right?"

  "You know I do."

  "I want to hear you say it, Jay. You neva tell me anymore."

  "I love you. You betta now?"

  "Kinda," she says. "Call me when you -" Jay hangs up before she can finish then speeds down the parkway toward New York. He wonders why Parade has been on his mind so much lately. He knows that it is just a matter of time before he cuts Sky off.

  What he doesn't know is what that could mean for him and Parade.

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  Daffany

  MELVIN KNOCKS ON MY DOOR at least three times. I figure something is wrong and even though I don't want to, I decide to let him in. I ain't expecting or looking forward to company after last night. All I want is to be left alone.

  Melvin was my john way before Parade started messing with him, so I am playing over and over in my head if it is possible for her to have this shit. I pray she doesn't, but really can't be sure. I mean, she ain't got no symptoms, but it ain't like I had symptoms either. I just went in for a checkup because my uncle died from it six months ago, and I wanted to make sure I was okay. When I did, I discovered I was positive. Ain't that something?

  "Melvin, it's not cool for you to be comin' 'round here no more. You should keep checkin' with Parade yourself. Eventually she'll talk to you."

  "I did, and she not accepting my calls," he says as he throws his short hands up in the air. He's sweating T. Styles

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  despite the air conditioner being on full blast. His black shirt has a visible sweat stain under his chin and the dandruff from his hair is pasted on it.

  "Well, give her some time. She'll come around," I say, trying to end our conversation so I can go back to bed.

  "Why is it so dark in here? You expectin' company?"

  "Melvin, it don't make a difference if I'm expectin'

  company or not. You know Parade lives across the parking lot. I don't want her poppin' up over here and seeing you in my apartment."

  "She'll just think I'm over here seeing my man," he advises as he takes a seat. "Don't even worry about her."

  "Melvin, please," I pause, taking a deep breath,

  "just keep callin' her. I am not mentally stable enough to be getting into y'all's love life. I have problems of my own."

  "I'm tired of kissing her ass," he continues, ignoring my last statement. "I've decided that I'm goin' to let her come to me for a change."

  "Okay," I say, wondering why he is even over here if he feels that way.

  "Look, why don't you give me some head real quick? I've been stressing really bad lately." I can't stand Melvin's short, stubby ass. He pays good money, though, and that's the only reason I bother with him. Since he started messing with Parade, though, I've been trying my best to leave him alone.

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  There have been many times I've tried to steer her away from him and every time I did, Parade found another reason to stay, loneliness being the main one.

  "Naw, Melvin. This ain't cool. You gotta leave."

  "I'll pay you a hundred dollars to do it right now.

  That's enough for a couple of E-pills and everything. I know you still poppin'."

  Damn. I am kinda broke and I can use the money, but I'm not feelin' putting my friend at risk. Having HIV puts a lot of shit in perspective for me when it comes to my friends. We sleep with a lot of the same guys and I'm worried if they got it or not.

  "You gotta go, Melvin," I demand as I walk toward the door and open it. "Things will work out for you."

  "Open your hand," he says right before hitting the door. I do and he drops six pills in it. I press the door closed and lock it. "Now get on your knees." I need those pills to relax and I need them bad. It ain't like I am gonna sleep with him. I'm just gonna blow him off and that will be the end of it. I'm on my knees, taking it out while moving the four-inch-long pubic hairs aside. Placing his sweaty, funky dick between my lips, I tell myself that it will all be over in a minute. Melvin places his hands behind my head, forcing himself deeper and deeper into my mouth. It gets to a point where hair and limp dick are stuffed down my throat so I almost gag.

  "Ahhhh ... shit!" he cries out. He suddenly becomes harder.

  I feel him throbbing and know he is on the verge of T. Styles

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  busting. I want him to hurry up because a minute longer and I will be throwing up all over the place.

  "Open ... open wide, Daffany," he demands.

  Reluctantly I do as his cum gets all over my face and inside my nose. Getting up off the floor, I rush him out so I can be alone with myself. I'm tired of thinking about what I just did, so I take three pills and wallow in misery.

  ~~~~

  "Uhn-ahn, bitch. Get up. You ain't sleepin' all day today. I been callin' your ass all morning."

  "Miss Wayne, I'm not feelin' well. I just want to lay in my bed with the blinds closed and go to sleep."

  "And I want to meet and marry a handsome prince with eleven inches of dick, but it don't mean I'm goin'

  do it."

  "You are a mess." I laugh, sitting straight up in bed.

  I know there is no way he is letting me off the phone until he's ready. I am surprised I even answered it.

  "What happened last night? Did you hear anything yet?" I continue, laughing at his last comment.

&n
bsp; "No. Miss Parade was over to Miss Sky's house and they both stopped by real quick earlier, but I had company."

  "Don't tell me you're fuckin' that little high school boy again."

  "No, and he graduated already, so mind your ugly business."

  "You a mess. You should be ashamed of yourself."

  "Girl, I'm not ashamed if he ain't," he responds.

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  "Anyway, when I called them back to see where they were, neither one of them answered their phones so I don't know what's goin' on."

  "You see all that blood over Sky's pants?" I ask, trying to figure out if he is thinking the same thing - that Sky possibly had something to do with it.

  "Yes," he says in a real low voice. "I hate thinking

  'bout it, too. It is a little too weird for me. You know what I'm sayin'? I mean, a girl gets stabbed, and Miss Sky got blood all on her pants. For what? Either she had something to do with it, or that was the worst case of menstrual cycling I've ever seen in my life." I burst out laughing.

  "What? What's so funny?" he says.

  He's always even funnier when he ain't trying to be.

  "Lada for them hoes," he responds. "Let me come over, girl. You've seemed out of it lately, and I'm starting to worry about you. They together, so it's only right that we shoot the shit, too."

  "I'm fine, Miss Wayne, but I really do want to be left alone today. I have a lot on my mind."

  "I won't bother you," he responds. "I'll bring over my homemade spaghetti," he teases. "And you'll never know I'm there."

  Although Miss Wayne is a man, he out-cooks all of us any day of the week. But still, I really want to be by myself. Besides, the smell of Melvin is still all over me and I'm fucked up about it. I appreciate what Miss Wayne is doin', but I'm not feelin' up to talking or any company.

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  Since Ed built me up and broke me back down in a matter of hours, I'm in a bad mood. Why is it that when you wanna change, other people won't let you?

  I'm on the phone for three more minutes with Miss Wayne trying to convince him to leave me be then I end the call and go fast asleep.