Far from it.
“What did you expect?” Dakota asked, sitting across from her brother in their parents’ kitchen. “For her to jump in your arms after she found out you tricked her?”
Josh rolled his eyes. “I didn’t trick her.”
His mother raised her brow and laughed. “Well, then I’d like to hear what you’d call it, Joshua.”
He couldn’t believe how at almost forty, his parents could make him feel so small, especially his mother.
“Do you remember the heartache she caused your only son?” he teased, taking another bite of ham.
“Vaguely. God, it was so long ago. What was it, eighteen years ago?” His mother put more potatoes on her plate and looked at his sister, Dakota. “Are you buying it?”
“What, in particular?” Dakota asked, grinning.
“That he’s an innocent in all this.”
“Oh, God. No.” Dakota laughed. “Josh is never an innocent. But I do buy that he’s got the hots for her.”
Josh ignored his sister and mother and turned his attention toward his father. Surely, he’d understand where Josh was coming from.
“Now that she’s back in my territory—” Josh began.
“Son, you sound like a dog in heat.”
“Females are in heat.” Josh stared at his father. “Males are—”
“Precisely my point,” his father interrupted while his mom and sister laughed.
He suddenly remembered why he spent so much time in New York. The conversation wasn’t going to take on any real substance if they had their way.
“I think all you can do is say you’re sorry and move on, Josh. Really.” Dakota wiped her mouth and put the napkin on the table before scooting her chair out. “I think that’s the safest thing for all parties involved. She messed with your heart once. Why let her do it again?”
Josh looked at his parents, who both seemed to be waiting for his response.
“I still have feelings for her.” Josh shrugged, trying to play it off.
“You have feelings for who she was.” His father looked sympathetic. “But you don’t have any clue who she’s become.”
“True.” He had no desire to continue this conversation.
His parents looked satisfied and finished their meal, leaving the dishes for his sister and Josh to take care of, just like old times.
“Seriously, Dakota? You think I should just leave her alone?” he whispered, making sure his parents were out of earshot.
“Well, what’s your plan? Show up everywhere she is and annoy her into submission?” Dakota asked, collecting all the dirty plates and silverware.
“It’s not an entirely bad idea,” he joked. “But honestly, if nothing else, I want her to know I’m sorry for what I did.”
“What about what she did to you and to me?” she asked.
“She apologized.” Josh knew right where this conversation was headed because he wondered the same thing.
Why was he letting Hailee off the hook? She said sorry, and he still had no real, solid answers as to why she did what she did.
“I love you, Josh, and I know you. Just because you left for New York and pretended to create a glitzy lifestyle—”
“It’s not pretend,” he interrupted, teasing her.
“I still know that you’re a romantic at heart, and I don’t want you to get hurt again. I wasn’t kidding about that. She vanished into thin air once. There isn’t a reason in the world she won’t do it again.” She turned on the water and began rinsing the plates but continued. “It sounds to me that she made her intentions pretty clear about where you stand.”
“She could have been a lot more hostile at the store than she was.” He smiled and held his head. “Yeah. I see where you’re going with this.”
“If you prove me wrong, that’s great. But you’re my brother, and I know what this woman is capable of.” She itched her nose with the back of her hand. “Remember, she was once my best friend.”
“Hailee mentioned you invited her out to your studio.”
His sister nodded. “I did, and she’s more than welcome to come, but I’m certainly not promising anything more than a quick tour. I’m apparently less forgiving than you.”
“Except that you didn’t pay her seven figures to find out why she dumped you and fled the state.”
“Don’t forget about the name change.”
Josh stared at his sister and nodded. “Thanks for the reminder.”
“It’s what I do.” Dakota smiled and let out a sigh, studying him. “You’re still going to pursue her, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I’m not good at hearing no, and Hailee is quite good at saying it.” He shrugged and helped put away the leftovers. “Anyway, how is your love life going?”
“Ew.” She smacked him with her dish towel. “Like I’d tell you.”
“What? We’re adults. I can handle hearing you’ve gone on a date.”
“Well, I haven’t, so that makes it extra easy.” She grinned.
He glanced at the clock. He might not be in New York, but he had an extra-early morning coming up, and he needed to get home to sleep. Thankfully, home in Silver Ridge was never very far.
Josh said goodnight to his sister and thanked his parents for the meal before taking off. It was difficult for him not to turn down the street that Hailee lived on. He didn’t know what he’d say if he showed up at her door, but he was pretty sure he was walking a thin line between running into her and stalking her, so he went home where he could miserably wonder what his next move should be.
Suzanne hadn’t mentioned receiving any other chapters, and he was confident she would have had she received them. Josh walked into his home, flipped on some lights, and immediately turned on the television to see several women arguing over which one of them had slept with the other’s man. What saddened him more than anything was that this was reality television, not a scripted show, and the books he published were starting to teeter on salacious, if not downright scandalous topics that these reality shows depicted.
But those stories were what sold, and he had a company to run and employees to support. He collapsed on the couch, and his mind immediately returned to Hailee. The mere thought of her made his heart thump in his chest as if he were jumping off a cliff without a parachute.
And maybe he was. He didn’t even know any longer why he cared so much. It wasn’t about ego. Josh could care less about that.
So what? A girl dumped him eighteen years ago. It was that he’d given his heart entirely to this girl, and he never got it back. The damage had been done. She broke him, and he never figured out a way to repair himself.
Sure, gorgeous, witty, and smart women had come and gone in his life, but none of them ever compared to how he felt for Hailee. He’d tried to pretend at first, but he soon realized that the woman he was dating could always tell, and his goal wasn’t to cause more heartache in the world, so he always kept things casual.
And that’s why he knew Hailee was different. There was absolutely nothing casual about her. He let out a groan and adjusted a pillow behind his head.
What he needed to do more than anything was see her one more time and prove to himself that she wasn’t worth the risk.
Yet that was precisely the problem. She knew he’d let his heart get broken a hundred more times if it meant getting to spend one more night with Hailee Howard.
Chapter Seventeen
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Emilia muttered under her breath when she spotted Josh standing with the cameramen, shooting the breeze. She hadn’t even needed to see him to know he was there. She had merely felt his presence. It was as if the air sizzled with electricity when he was around. It was actually quite aggravating to experience chemistry with someone who was strictly off-limits.
Emilia had just finished her interview in Portland and had two hours to get to the airport and get checked in so she could fly to Orange County and appear on some local afternoon talk show. The sche
dule was tight, but as long as she didn’t have any unexpected run-ins, it should be fine.
Emilia quickly slipped off the soundstage and made her way to the dressing room and stuffed everything into her bag. She had no intention of staying in California overnight, but she packed enough just in case she missed her eight o’clock flight out of Orange County.
She walked to the door and peeked out into the hallway and breathed a sigh of relief. No Josh in sight. She rounded the final corner to the lobby and saw her waiting car and felt her pace pick up. It wasn’t until she closed the door of the town car and the driver took off that she felt all the tension disappear.
The airport wasn’t all that busy, and she slipped right through the security check without a hitch. She patiently waited to board and couldn’t wait to fall asleep on the plane, but there was a part of her that worried Josh would show up an aisle over and come with her to Orange County.
She didn’t know what to make of his sudden appearances, and she wasn’t completely against seeing him now and again. He was easy on the eyes and had a habit of making her laugh or driving her insane on the way to laughter.
By the time she found her seat and watched every passenger board, she felt extremely confident that Josh wasn’t coming with her to the O.C. But for some peculiar reason, she actually felt bummed by that revelation. On some weird level that she would never admit to anyone, it was kind of flattering to have Josh care enough to show up.
No one else did, and it wasn’t like she threw things out as a test, but she noticed her parents had never once shown up to her events. She’d made a point since they’d reconnected to let them know about appearances and such, hoping they’d see her in action. Emilia knew she should know better than to pin hope on either her mom or dad, but there was still something deep inside her that held some sort of misguided optimism that they cared about what she did or the dreams she carried with her.
As the plane took off, she let herself drift off to a happier time. She was seventeen, staying with friends at a lake cabin when Josh surprised her by showing up. He knew how much she wanted him there, but he was supposed to be with his family in Idaho that weekend.
When he showed up at the door wearing a pair of swim trunks and holding a dozen roses for Emilia, her heart instantly melted. He scooped her into his arms and carried her to the lake dock, where he jumped into the crisp water, still holding her tight. She could still remember everything like it was yesterday. Seeing Josh only made the memories more vivid which she’d done such an excellent job of pushing away.
When the plane landed, she had no interest in doing the talk show. Emilia was mentally exhausted. The flight had been nothing but one dream after another about Josh Turner. They were all pleasant dreams, and that was the problem. Josh had always been good to her.
Even with this whole book deal. Josh could have offered ten grand and Emilia would have taken it, but he didn’t. He presented her a seven-figure advance.
Money out of his pocket.
The money he had to front because on some level, he believed in her.
Emilia was so busy spinning herself into a state of confusion that she almost walked by the driver holding up a sign with her name on it. But maybe that was because she’d spent the whole flight remembering herself as Hailee Howard, not Emilia Hudson. She gave the driver a quick wave, and he took her bag from her as she followed him out to the parking terminal. He was an older, portly man with a pasty white complexion, and she hoped he’d make it to their next destination.
“So you’re that relationship blogger,” the driver said as he pulled them onto the highway. “I’m Lenny.”
“Yeah. That’s me.”
“So you give advice on relationships, yet you ain’t in one?”
Emilia had, unfortunately, always prepared for moments like these.
“Sometimes, being an outside observer makes it easier to point out the pitfalls.”
“Interesting theory.” He smiled at her in the mirror. “I’ve been married for over forty years, and I’ll tell you the one thing I know.”
“What’s that, Lenny?”
“It ain’t that hard.”
“Which part?” she asked, her brows knitting together.
“Any of it.” He shrugged as they turned off the highway. “If it is, then you’re doing something wrong.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. Love ain’t hard.” He smiled at her in the rearview mirror. “Hating is harder, I’ll tell you that.”
“How do you figure?”
“You have to remember why you hate someone.” He chuckled to himself. “You have to keep reminding yourself why you don’t like them. But lovin’? It’s easy to remember. Take me right now. All I have to think about is my wife’s smile, and there ain’t nothin’ easier than knowing why I love her. All the fights over forty years? I’d have to work really hard on remembering them.”
“I like the way you think, Lenny.”
He pulled up to the curb and turned around. “Same place?”
“Same place in two hours.” Emilia nodded, pulled the bag out of the car, and made her way to the studio.
For some reason, she felt lighter having had that talk. He was right. Hating was so much harder than loving. All the good things about Josh were on the tip of every thought she had, yet she had to work together—scrap together—the reasons she hated him.
Except she didn’t hate him. Far from it.
It took real work to remember why she felt wounded by him, but all the magical memories and beautiful thoughts drifted easily into her mind, which…
Annoyed her.
Emilia checked in at the security desk, and a guard escorted her to the right studio where a friendly production assistant escorted her to her dressing room. She suspected it would probably be the size of a closet. They generally were.
The P.A. opened the door, and Emilia’s breath caught at the sight in front of her.
Josh was standing with a dozen roses in the middle of her tiny dressing room, and her mind immediately flew to the lake cabin.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as the P.A. shut the door. “You weren’t on my flight.”
“How do you know?” His brow arched.
“I might have checked every single passenger who came on board.”
Josh took a step forward, and her heart skipped a beat as she struggled to remember what made her the angriest. Was it the seven-figure deal? Was it that he found her? Was it that he cared about her? Or was it that he tricked her? But did he really?
A smile touched her lips, and she thought back to the wise words of her driver, Lenny.
Remembering all the reasons she should be mad at Josh Turner was a real struggle when all she wanted was to be in his arms.
“Are those for me?” she asked, almost breathless.
“They could be, unless you plan on hitting me with them.” He grinned devilishly, and her head felt like a tsunami of emotion.
“We’ll see.” She took the roses from him and sniffed the fragrant rose smell she’d always loved.
“I thought that maybe after the show, we could try talking again. I want you to hear what I have to say.” His eyes connected with hers, and a shiver ran through her. “And I want to hear what you have to say.”
Emilia stood frozen in place. She knew what Josh wanted from her, but she wasn’t ready to give it to him.
She might never be.
And if he couldn’t understand that, there might never be a chance for them to stop hating and start loving again.
At least for him.
“I’ll try my best.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. She only had a few minutes to change. “But I should probably switch outfits. I don’t want to make my boss mad.”
“Be my guest.” Mischief filled his gaze, and she raised her roses at him, which made him chuckle.
He closed the gap between them and slid his arms around Emilia’s waist.
“We really shouldn’t,�
� Emilia whispered, her eyes staying on his.
“I know.” His voice was low and determined. “It would be foolish of us.”
“It would,” she agreed.
“This feels so right.” He closed the remaining distance between them.
She could feel everything about his body as it pressed against hers, and it made her weak in the knees. His gaze remained on hers as her pulse accelerated, and she remembered all the good times, trying not to let the chip on her shoulder ruin this moment.
Because they might never have another one.
“I know we might never see eye-to-eye,” he said, taking a step back. “But I think we should at least try.”
“I agree.” She could barely find her voice but needed to before she went onstage.
Her pulse was still pounding as she watched him walk out of her dressing room.
Emilia didn’t even know what just happened, other than she wanted it to happen again. It wasn’t that she wasn’t mad at him. She was. And she intended to make him pay for his bad behavior, but she wanted to believe that wasn’t the real Josh Turner.
She knew the boy who wiped away her tears and promised to never leave her side. He was the only man who’d truly loved her for who she was.
The problem was that she wasn’t sure she knew who that was any longer.
Emilia slipped on her red heels after pulling on a pair of slacks and a silk camisole.
Everything would be fine, she promised herself. Even if it wasn’t.
On that note, she was off to meet another audience filled with lost souls caught in the disastrous web of love that she’d somehow tripped right back into.
Chapter Eighteen
Josh observed Hailee work the audience, and he knew no matter what she thought about love, life, relationships, or even her chosen career, she was incredible at connecting with people. Her gift had always been people, and it struck him as odd that Emilia didn’t recognize her own importance in the lives of others.
Why had she felt the need to create an entirely new persona to indulge in something she was naturally good at?
A Funny Thing About Love Page 12