I give him a shaky smile before I speak. “I know,” I nod. “I won’t be for much longer.”
“You’re going to them?” he asks, sounding far too excited for my departure.
I shake my head, not willing to tell him the truth. I’m running is what I’m doing, and it’s not going to be into the arms of the Russians.
Making my way over to his side, I watch as he turns in his chair to face me. I immediately take the invitation, hoping that he’ll put me out of my fear and misery as I straddle his thighs.
Gavino doesn’t touch me. His hands are balled into fists at his side as he looks up at me. I tilt my head to the side, tasting my bottom lip as I take him in, knowing that he doesn’t touch me for a reason. He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He’s found his other half.
“Is she everything you ever wanted?” I ask.
He nods once. “She will be, Bellarosa. You cannot call me, you cannot visit me, not anymore. I meant what I said. You will go to the Russians.”
I hum, shifting forward, moving my face to be closer to his. He grunts, displeased by my closeness, but I don’t show him how his rejection bothers me. Instead, I make sure he hears my offer, that he knows he can have me, all of me, for as long as he desires and his lover never has to know.
But then it happens, Gavino doesn’t like my offer, he doesn’t want me. His hands wrap around my waist as he stands, dropping me to my ass on the floor.
“Bella, get ahold of yourself. You rake in thousands of dollars a night, and here you are begging for dick. What is wrong with you?”
My bottom lip trembles, not only at the obvious rejection but because I know that this will be the last time that I see him. My eyes water before I speak.
“I just want to be safe, Vino. I want to be wanted for more than a few hours. I just…I want stability.”
He takes a step toward me, leaning down slightly, I sigh when his index finger touches the underside of my chin before he speaks.
“You are safe. Here and with the Russians. You never want for anything, you never have and you never will. How can you claim to not have stability? How can you claim that you are only wanted for mere hours? You are desired, Bella. Your talents outweigh most women in the world. Men spend thousands of dollars just to have a taste of you. Do not lower yourself this way.”
I don’t interrupt him. I don’t tell him that having a roof over my head, being wanted for what is between my legs, that none of it makes me feel safe, beautiful, or loved. Nothing in my life has made me feel that way, not since my papa disappeared.
“You will have your freedom, but for now, be content in the knowledge that men desire you, and desire to have just a moment with you. That they pay more than some people make in a year just to be inside of you,” he announces.
Anger boils inside of me from his words. “When I’m too used up to work, or I’m too old to be desired, that is the only time I will have my freedom?”
He doesn’t respond, because I’m right and there is nothing else to say. Antonio Rossi paid my mother a hearty fee to sell my virginity to the highest bidder and allow any man with a few thousand dollars to fuck me and use me like the whore he trained me to be. I’m nothing special, not to the dead Rossi, seeing as he did the same to his illegitimate daughter.
I close my eyes and gulp. “One last ditch effort,” I whisper.
“It was a good one.”
I gasp, unrealizing that I’d said the words aloud. Gavino’s eyes rake over my body, focusing on my breasts and he grins.
“You’ll visit me if you ever want a taste?” I ask.
I’m unsure why I’ve asked, but maybe it’s to see if he even gives half a shit about me, which I suspect he never has.
Gavino dips his chin, refusing to speak his answer. The silence is everything that I need to know. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s probably happy to have me out of his hair. He has a new life and a new fiancée. He doesn’t need his old mistakes as a constant reminder in the background.
Slowly, I rise to my feet, attempting to keep at least a piece of my dignity in my grasp. Pressing my naked body against Gavino’s, I wrap my arms around him. This is the last time I’ll ever lay eyes on him, at least I hope so.
“I’ll miss you, Vino. I know you just thought of me like a whore, but to me, you have always been everything,” I sniffle.
Releasing my hold of him, I turn around, not wishing to hear his response. Reaching down for my robe, I grab it and quickly put it on as I hurry out of the office. My decision is made. I am leaving, to hell with the consequences.
I will find my way out of this life, out of this hell. I will have my freedom before I’m too used up to enjoy it.
DRAGON
Quiet.
Usually quiet isn’t a good thing in my line of work. Typically, it’s just a calm before a storm. I can practically taste the storm in the air, too. We’ve just got Karma out of the picture, Esther is back, and four of my men have recently claimed three women.
My ex hasn’t been heard from in months, which I’m fucking grateful for and the eyes that I keep on her, confirm that she’s staying far away from me and has no plans on making her way back here any time soon.
“Who is the next crew heading to New York?” Wolfe asks as he sinks down in the chair next to me.
I shift my gaze over to him, wondering when the fuck he got so relaxed and knowing that it’s his newfound relationship with Esther. Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair.
“Thinking of going myself. I need a goddamn break.”
Wolfe chuckles before he speaks. “You know you can’t. How about you send Coyote and Mountain?”
I snort at his suggestion. “Mountain just wants to fuck those call girls. I’m not sure that I could even get away with sending him at this point. He’s going to go fucking broke if he goes every single time.”
Wolfe hums. “Told him to settle down, he’s got a taste for expensive pussy these days though. Convinced that he can’t find it here in Eagar.”
I shrug, lifting my smoke to my lips. “Probably won’t. He needs to learn how to settle.”
Wolfe doesn’t say anything right away, but I can practically hear the wheels in his head turning. He’s thinking, and I know that I won’t like what he’s going to say when he finally does speak. He clears his throat, stands, then looks down at me.
“You settled once, Pres. How’d that go for you?”
Leveling him with a glare, I roll my eyes. “Not very fucking well. I settled for a whore with a penchant for putting shit up her nose though, not a sweet girl from town. Big fucking difference.”
Walking away from him, I make my way over to where the kids are playing. I catch Buster, Silver’s son, sitting next to Kora on the swings. She’s kicking dirt around with her feet, her head tipped as he talks to her.
I should break them up, that kid is going to be just like his father, just like me, eventually. No way in fuck do I want him around Kora. However, she seems to talk to him, more than she does to me these days, so I leave them alone.
Turning away from them, I make my way inside to find a whore. I need to get all of this shit off of my mind. I need to fuck away my poor decisions, my disappointment in myself and my anger. Whether I want to admit it or not, I’m lonely as shit right now, I want to fuck that away, too.
“Company?” Pinkie asks as soon as I walk into the bar.
My eyes catch Della in the corner, she’s talking with Jaguar. Well, they look like they’re in a heated argument more than a friendly chat. Something that seems to happen more and more lately. Turning away from them, I wrap my arm around Pinkie’s neck and tug her against my side.
“Yeah, babe. Come suck my dick and tell me I’m pretty,” I chuckle.
She laughs, leaning her head against my shoulder. Guiding her into my room, all laughter dies. Pinkie sinks to her knees and quickly unbuckles my belt, then unbuttons and unzips my pants like the pro that she is and immediately takes
me into her mouth.
Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back as she sucks my cock. I don’t need to guide her, to show her what I like because the bitch knows. When I’m close, she reaches up and begins to massage and tug on my balls.
Grunting, I lift my hand, wrapping my fingers in the back of her hair before I thrust my hips, forcing my cock completely down her throat. Her eyes widen, immediately watering at the intrusion. I fuck her face, enjoying the way she squirms beneath me.
When I’m close, I quickly pull out of her and jack my dick until my cum shoots out all over her face and chest. I grin, then grunt when she uses her finger to gather my jizz and makes a show out of licking it off. Shaking my head, I chuckle enjoying the show nonetheless.
“How about I play with my pussy until you’re ready for more?” she asks, her face still wet from my cum.
I hum, tugging my jeans off the rest of the way, then pulling my shirt over my head. “Sounds good, babe. Warm that cunt up for me.”
I spend the rest of the afternoon fucking Pinkie. She takes it like a champ, in every fucking hole that I use of hers. By the time we’re both completely sated and exhausted, she leaves without me telling her to take off.
When she’s gone and I’m alone again, I reach for my smokes. Lighting up, I let my head rest against the wall. Closing my eyes, I try not to let out a curse. I don’t feel any better. I don’t feel less lonely or more satisfied. I feel fucking empty and I hate that shit more than I’m willing to admit.
Probably why I’ve been such a fucking dick lately, I’m fucking lonely and how stupid is that shit? I can have pussy any time I want it, I have a crew of men at my back, and I have the most beautiful daughter in the world.
Taking another hit, I slowly let it out as I open my eyes and look up at the ceiling. I would wonder what my dad would think of the man that I’ve become, but I already know. He’d think I was an idiot and a pansy. He’d be right.
In this line of work, it’s stupid to have weaknesses and I’m a walking fucking weakness right now. I want a woman, I want a mother to my daughter, and I want a partner.
Fuck.
I’m a woman, I snort. My dad would slap me upside my head and tell me to get my shit together. He’d be right. I need to do just that.
Throwing my legs over the side of my bed, I stub out my smoke and go in search of my discarded clothes. Dressing quickly, I head down to my office to make up the schedule for next week.
Everyone may be partying right now, but Wolfe was right, I need to figure out who is going on the next run to New York and unfortunately, he was correct in the fact that it can’t be me.
My list of men to even send out there is short. I need brothers that I can completely trust, only those that are officers. This isn’t some piss ant job, the money that we bring back is enough to make even the most loyal soldier turn against his brothers.
Scrubbing my palm down my face, I let out a groan. I can’t send Wolfe or Silver, they both need to stay fairly close to home for now. Mountain, I only have to worry about him stealing some high-class call girl for himself, he needs a break from them, too.
Taz is my obvious choice, he’s my sergeant-at-arms and not only an officer, but he pretty much always has his shit tight. I hear Della’s voice rise, and I know that Jaguar probably needs some space from the girl, so I make a decision to send him as well.
Emerging from my office, I stretch my arms and back at the doorway and find Jaguar. The bar is empty save for him. He’s glaring at the back door that leads outside.
“You want to go to New York, be gone for a couple of weeks?” I call out.
His head jerks, then he turns to me. He lifts his chin, closing the distance between us. “Yeah, I think that I do.”
“Figured as much,” I shrug.
“She ever gonna get her head out of her ass?” he asks.
He’s turned toward the backdoor again and I grunt. “Don’t make a whore a housewife, brother.”
“She ain’t like the others, you know that,” he whispers.
He’s right. Della was a trade. A way to control our mattress supplier because he was fucking with us and fucking up our operation. She gave herself up to save her miserable parents. She whored herself for them. She’s not addicted like Journee was. She likes the freedom that she has here, the unlimited sex and attention too. She’s no shy virgin that’s for damn sure, but I can tell Jag likes her.
“She doesn’t seem to want to be tamed, either,” I point out.
He jerks his head, then looks over at me. “She doesn’t know what she wants,” he practically growls.
I shake my head. I don’t tell him that he definitely doesn’t know what she wants either, no man does.
“You leave in two days. Get your shit together,” I state.
Turning away from him, I decide to gather up Kora and go home for the evening. The party is bound to really start getting going, and although my daughter has been exposed to plenty in her life, I have no desire to expose her to more than necessary.
Chapter Two
BELLAROSA
Carmella has been watching me closer than she ever has in the past. I try to ignore her lingering glances, the way her head tilts to the side as she takes me in. She suspects something.
I haven’t had a client in weeks, still claiming that I’m healing from the abuse of Mauro Ricci, Gavino’s newfound nemesis. It isn’t a complete lie, I still feel twinges of pain, but I could work if I really wanted to.
I frown when there is a knock on the front door. It’s late, too late for callers. We’re sitting in the living room. Carmella and I are both reading, her a book, me a magazine.
As soon as the knock comes, Carmella gracefully rises to her feet and I watch as she makes her way over to the front door of the house. She opens the door, bowing her head slightly at whoever is on the other side, then steps out of the way.
I watch as two men walk into the foyer. They’re dressed much like Wolfe and his friend Mountain from several weeks ago. They are wearing jeans, boots, tight t-shirts and leather vests. They both look tired, their hair too long, their beards a bit unkempt. They’re both extremely handsome, too.
“What are your desires tonight, gentlemen?” Carmella asks, keeping her voice low and soothing almost with a bit of sing-song added.
Their eyes skirt over me, but they act as if they don’t even see me. It’s a good thing. Maybe they won’t notice me when I’m stealing away in their truck. Maybe they won’t notice me as they drive to wherever they live.
Maybe I can just disappear.
It’s now or never.
The Russians are set to pick me up in just a few days. I refuse to go with them. If I whore again, it will be on my terms, not because my mother signed a lifetime contract to ensure her finances.
Licking my lips, I think about my mom, about my sisters, and I wonder how they are. Hopefully they’ve lived a better life because of me. I truly hope that they have. Because all of this would have been for nothing if they weren’t living a beautiful life.
The men leave after telling Carmella their desires, their preferences and thankfully those aren’t me tonight. Once they’re tucked away upstairs in the bedrooms of their companions for the evening, Carmella walks into the living room and sits down next to me.
“You’re going to run,” she announces.
Lifting my face, my gaze connects to hers. Carmella’s lips twitch, but she doesn’t fully smile.
“I’m leaving in a few days, you know that,” I say.
Carmella snorts as she shakes her head. “Paul will be here around ten to pick them up. If you’re going to run, I’ll keep all three of them in here for five minutes. You’ll have to find your way into that car without being detected.”
“Why are you helping me?” I ask.
She closes her eyes, then reopens them and I see the sadness swimming in them. “I have trained many girls in this industry. Some enjoy this work, even crave it. Some do it out of duty, and some are sea
rching for more. You are searching for more, same as another woman I knew. She eventually found hers, and I want you to find yours as well,” she explains.
Carmella clears her throat before she stands to her feet. “I don’t want to know so that I have nothing to tell.”
I watch as she turns and walks down the hall to her room. Carmella is the only one of us that resides downstairs. I’m sure it’s to keep an eye on all of the comings and goings of not only the clients but the girls as well.
Unable to keep still, I decide to make my way up to my own room. Tomorrow is the day. I hear noises, men’s groans and grunts fill the empty hall as I attempt to quietly slip into my room. A door opens and I freeze, plastering myself against the wall.
A man steps out of a bedroom, he’s wearing only a pair of jeans low on his hips. I hold my breath as he turns his head, his eyes snapping to mine. His gaze is dark, as he looks up and then down my entire body.
My lungs squeeze inside of my chest, not out of fear, but with anticipation of what is to come. He doesn’t know it, but I’ll be joining him soon. I should be scared shitless, but for whatever reason, I’m not.
“Little girls shouldn’t be hanging out in the dark,” he murmurs.
Jerking my chin, I lift it slightly before I speak. “I’m headed to my room,” I state.
His lips twitch and he takes a step toward me. I can smell Nadia’s perfume pouring off of his body. It doesn’t surprise me, she douses herself, her linens, and even her hair in the stuff. The stranger’s eyes roam over my body again. Though it doesn’t feel sexual, instead it feels assessing.
“Interesting,” he mutters.
I open my mouth to ask him what he means when Nadia appears from her doorway. “Jaguar,” she calls, her eyes narrowing on me.
Nadia was a Russian trade and the only woman in this house that I cannot stand. She’s a bitch. Plain and simple. She thinks we’re all here to compete. The only person in the competition is her, but she doesn’t see it that way, so she’s one of those women who constantly fucks with you to make herself feel better.
UNCHAIN ME: SAVAGE BEAST MC 3 Page 3