by S. L. Siwik
He shrugged as he walked into the kitchen. I followed, my eyes cringing against the brightness of all the stainless steel appliances; the sunlight bouncing off the metallic finish.
“Plug your ears,” he said, and I did as I was told because I saw his hand moving towards the blender. The loud, grinding noise reverberated through my skull all the way down to my toes. It was extremely unpleasant, and I was positive my brain would explode. He finally stopped, took out two tumblers, and poured the blended concoction into the glasses. Ugh. Not another one of Brian’s health shakes.
Whenever Brian started thinking he was getting flabby from too many late night drinking binges, he went on a strange health shake kick. I never asked what was in it. Personally, I didn’t want to know. Brian was one of those freaks who actually had an herb planter in his kitchen. I mean, really, what man had such a thing? I was sure the drink was very healthy- meaning disgusting.
He handed it to me, and I knew immediately that I was in trouble. Looking into the clear glass, I saw that the color was bright green. As a rule, I stayed away from green drinks unless it was St. Patrick’s Day.
“You have to have one of these every morning,” he told me as I still eyed the glass with disdain.
I fought the urge to sigh. “Okay, you have to tell me what’s in it.”
Brian shook his head before taking a sip. I waited for the catch as he swallowed. “You have to come here for your drink every day. That way I know you’re not cheating.”
I couldn’t help but glare. “Seriously?” I asked and with a smug smile he nodded.
“Those are the rules. You’re rethinking staying here for a while now, aren’t you?”
I couldn’t help but nod. Needing to come to his apartment every morning meant I needed to add an extra thirty minutes to my morning routine, so I was not late to work. I’m not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination.
“What time do you want me here by?” I asked. He fought against that smile again, which I knew boded ill for me.
“Five. Those are the rules. First we exercise, then we drink.”
“So, why are we having our drink today?” I asked. I did not want to drink this nasty concoction a single day before I had to. Surely there was a bagel store we could go to nearby.
“I thought I’d take it easy on you today, and you’re already dehydrated, so you could really use it now.”
I took another sip of the green liquid and grimaced. “Five o’clock,” I muttered. I didn’t have to be at the train station until seven. I thought about Ryan no longer in my arms, however, and my resolve strengthened. I didn’t believe Ben and his supposed photos. Ryan only cheated once, and he was contrite.
“Alright,” I said, “Five it is.”
Chapter Five
After finishing that disgusting mess, I thanked him and handed him the glass. He watched my face, laughing, before loading the glasses into the dishwasher.
When he was done, I lingered in the kitchen.
“Last night,” I began. Brian turned towards me, his brow raised in question. “Thanks.” It was all I could come up with.
“You act as though I didn’t have fun.”
I shrugged. “Did you?”
“We haven’t done stuff like that in a long time,” he said, his voice full of nostalgia. Since I started dating Ryan, I didn’t drink with any of my male friends anymore. It just seemed like an invitation for trouble. We also didn’t play wrestle anymore.
“We haven’t,” I replied, “Alright, I’ll get out of your hair now. Need to go make sure Ryan hasn’t burned the apartment down yet.” I rolled my eyes. The truth was that I missed him and I just wanted to see him.
“Good luck,” Brian said, frowning. “I want you to think about what I said. Giving yourself space, staying here for a while.”
I nodded, even though I knew I was just paying him lip service. Walking over to pick up my purse, I walked to the door. Waving goodbye, I left.
**
Halfway back to my apartment, I began feeling better. That horrendous hang-over concoction must have been starting to work.
I walked up the stairs of my stoop, realizing Chuck wasn’t there. He must have been out at the local shelter washing up. At least I was hoping that was where he was. I stumbled up the three floors to my apartment building. Sliding the keys into my door, I opened it, walking inside.
Looking around, I found Ryan still snoring loudly on the couch. Not wanting to disturb him, I tip toed into the bedroom and closed the door quietly. Sitting down at the computer, I decided to start getting an active plan together to get Ryan back. Seeing him sleeping on the couch made it hit home that we weren’t okay, and that things needed to change back to the way they were. Surely there must be some relationship advice out there. After searching some websites, I found an article that caught my attention. I began reading the article: How to Get Your Ex Back.
Step One: Revamp yourself. Exercise and eat healthy. Change out your style, redo your apartment. Give yourself a new start. It will attract your ex.
Step Two: Casually date other people. It also shows your ex that you are confident, ready to move on, and not desperate.
Step Three: Try to ignore your ex as much as possible. Your attitude should be that you can live without him or her and that you’re ready to move on.
Step Four: After about a month’s time, suggest you and your ex do something fun together and try to ignite a little spark again.
Step Five: If it went well you’re probably wondering what the next step will be on how to get your ex back. Wait for him. Go back to ignoring him and acting like he isn’t your only option. Keep dating casually. He will begin actively pursuing you.
After reading the list my heart soared. I was absolutely positive that I could do this. I could follow everything on that list except ‘casual dating.’ I didn’t even know what that was, much less how to do it. If there was anyone out there who knew the ins and outs of casual dating, however, it was Brian. He was always out with a girl on the weekends, yet never with someone. At this point, I swore that he had dated half of our university. If anyone knew, it would be him.
Ryan knocked on the door, and I quickly exited out of the webpage I was on. “Come in,” I said, and the door creaked open while he peaked in.
“Do you need something?” I asked, swiveling the desk chair towards him.
“Just wondering if you were going out tonight,” he asked. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he wanted to bring another girl over, and I died just a little inside. I tried to act casual.
“Why do you ask?”
He shrugged. “Just wondering.” Now I felt backed into a corner. I needed to know why he needed to know, so I could figure out a proper answer. My body was aching, I was still hung over, and I was not in the mood for this. Besides, according to my list I was supposed to be ignoring him for a month.
“You’re not just wondering, and you didn’t come in here for small talk. So, let’s cut to the chase and why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re asking me.”
“Some friends wanted to come over, and I didn’t know if you’d be cool with it,” he replied meekly. I wanted to ask, if it was friends coming over or some girl, but I couldn’t and I knew I’d sound pathetic asking it. I decided to take the high road- be amicable, and lie my butt off. You know, the high road.
“Well, I had planned on staying in because I have a lot of work due on Monday, but I’ll go out tonight if you can have the house cleared for me on Sunday.” It was a total lie. There was no work for me to do, but I wanted to seem considerate, and that I was taking our break up really well.
“Really?” he said completely shocked. I smiled politely. “That’s awesome! Thanks. Yeah, I’ll have everyone cleared out for you by Sunday. I’ll even leave, so it’s nice and quiet.”
I smiled tightly before swiveling the chair back into place. He lingered in the doorway doing God only knew what before closing the door. Excellent. The plan w
as working. I had to move on to the next step. I still didn’t know about casual dating and needed to find out what that entailed, but there was something I could do. I logged onto my Facebook page, and changed my status to single. I then wrote a post: I’m single again. Looking to casually date. Know anyone that might be interested?
I had never been so forward, but desperate times called for desperate measures, right? Ryan wasn’t in my bed, we were not cuddling or fooling around, and that needed to change immediately.
I decided to take a shower, but first ripped all of the bedding off my bed. It was still the same sheets from Ryan and that girl. I knew that the practical thing would be to simply wash them. I couldn’t, though. I looked down at the comforter and all I could see was that woman’s perfect figure bouncing up and down. I contemplated burning them, but decided against it. Throwing them into a large trash bag, I decided that I would wash them, then take them to Chuck. Even though it was hot now, it would be cold eventually.
After showering and getting ready, I grabbed my pocketbook. Checking my cell phone I saw that Brian sent me a text. Nice post. Wanna go out 2nite?
I sat down and logged onto my Facebook page and realized surprisingly that my male friends had offered to take me out. I began to read the comments left:
George Kinsley: Woohoo! Comedy Club next Friday?
Ben Hurley: Me+ u + tequila= next Saturday night
Max: There’s this great avant-garde exhibit in the city. Meet me when you get out of work on Thurs?
Brian Aschcroft: Annie & I are spending the mornings together training for a marathon. So your plans can’t be overnight like you’re hoping, Ben.
Amanda Giles: OMG! We need to get pedis and manis and then go man hunting! Oooh! What about Cosmos at GinuWine?
Ben Hurley: My nickname’s Big Ben. ‘Nough said. Ur mom loves it Brian whenever I give it 2 her.
My face scrunched in confusion while reading Brian’s comment. We were training for a marathon? Really? Why wasn’t I informed? I realized that this was probably a ploy, an excuse to explain why I really was working out every day. I sighed in relief, thankful that he was being so incredibly cool about all of this. Most friends wouldn’t devote nearly every morning to someone else. I’d have to buy him something really nice for all of this…when I was back with Ryan, of course. I didn’t believe any of Ben’s words from the night before. I was still deep in Denial-ville. At this point, I had bought a home there and was beginning to set up shop. It was cozy town, and I didn’t want to leave any time soon. Besides, I was going to lose forty pounds in a month, and Ryan would be back in my arms in no time. It was a sure thing. I picked up my phone texting Brian back: We’re training for a marathon? Since when? Where do you want to go tonight?
I couldn’t abbreviate during texts; it drove me crazy. I needed to write everything out. It was probably the English major in me, and all those papers returned with the red pen of death striking their fatal blows.
The reply came back nearly instantaneously: U hungry?
I typed back that I was but that I first needed to go and buy new bedding. He must have figured out why because he said that he’d pick me up in ten minutes. Turning off my computer, sliding into my sandals, I was ready to leave. Walking out of the bedroom door, I closed it. Ryan lay across the couch watching some Kung-Fu movie. I had no idea which one; they all seemed the same to me. I guess most guys said that about romance movies, though.
I walked across the room to wait for Brian outside.
As I neared the door, Ryan called out, “Hey.” I turned to look at him, waiting for him to say something. He leaned forward on the couch so that I was in perfect view. “Are you going somewhere good tonight?”
I nodded before yawning. I was trying to be pleasant but aloof. I remembered step two’s advice to seem cool and not desperate.
“Where you going?” he asked nervously. Strange. I couldn’t remember Ryan ever being anything but sure-footed.
“Out to dinner… then, I’m being treated to a surprise.” Well, that was mostly true.
“Who are you going out with?” he asked quickly.
“A friend.” My phone buzzed with a text. I’m downstairs. “Speaking of which, he’s here to pick me up. Have a good night.”
“Night,” he replied quickly before I shut the door.
I told myself that I did a good job before making my way down the stairs. What hurt the most was trying so hard. I never had to force my feelings with Ryan, or had to lie constantly to him. This was already becoming exhausting. What was that saying, though? Fake it until you make it. That’s what I was going to do.
I’d fake it until I made it.
I hopped into Brian’s Chevy Camaro, grey with silver pinstripes. It was his eighteenth birthday present. All I was given when I turned eighteen was a twelve-year-old, rusted, pick-up truck that died the end of my sophomore year. I didn’t buy another car after that one died because cars in a city were luxuries and boy, did you pay dearly. Not only did you pay higher insurance for being in an urban area, but then you had to find parking, hoped you were not ticketed, or paid for a garage. Brian’s building had an underground parking garage as well as a twenty-four hour attendant. It was just too much hassle for me, so I took public transportation. It was only five blocks from my house the opposite way of Brian’s apartment.
As I stepped inside, Brian handed me a cool, plastic, lidded cup.
“Thought you could use this.”
I looked down and realized it was an iced caramel coffee from our favorite nearby shop.
“Ah, you’re a saint!” I squealed, before bringing my lips to the straw. Taking a long pull, I swallowed, my aching body reveling at the caffeine. Normally, by the time I made it to work I already drank two cups of coffee. Today I hadn’t any yet.
As Brian rounded the corner, my phone rang. I yanked it out of my pocketbook, sitting between my feet, and pressed the answer button.
“Hello?”
“Hey, do you want to come out and play soccer with us?” Ben asked.
I placed my hand over the receiver. “Do you want to play soccer with the guys?” I whispered to Brian.
“Aren’t we going for bedding?” he whispered back.
I glanced at the time on my cell phone and shrugged. “It’s only one. We could do both.”
He nodded and made a left, since we now needed to head towards New York instead of the mall.
“Alright, where are Brian and I meeting you?” I asked.
“I’ll text you the name of the park and the location,” Ben answered before hanging up.
We parked on a side street and since Brian refused to let me pay the toll to go through the Holland Tunnel, I placed the quarters into the meter. After placing two hours’ worth of quarters into the machine, we met the guys who were passing the soccer ball to each other. As soon as I hit the field, I revealed my true interest in coming today. “So, after the game, are you going to show me this proof?” I asked Ben.
“Hello to you, Annie. So, you wanna come over my apartment after? Maybe clean yourself off in my shower?” He rubbed his hands over his body provocatively, his eyes rolling back in his head, as he made high pitched moaning noises.
“First off, I never look like that in the shower. Ever. Second, I just want to see the pictures,” I replied, scathingly. I then walked over to kiss George and Max on the cheek in greeting.
Ben sighed dramatically. “Very well. After the game, you can see the pictures.”
“Let’s get started,” Max said.
“Can’t,” Ben replied, “We’re waiting for one more so the teams are even.” Ben squinted his eyes into the distance. “And here comes the fat bastard now.”