by Lisa Jordan
A piece of wood snapped and shifted, sending a shower of sparks toward the treetops. Tendrils of smoke spiraled over her head. Twilight stroked the sky with shades of mauve and navy.
Ella ran around the yard trying to cup fireflies in her small hands. Ava followed, dragging a well-loved blanket behind her. She stopped to rub her eyes.
Zoe pushed out of the chair and crossed barefoot to her. Evening dew dampened her toes. She stopped in front of Sully’s youngest.
Zoe pushed Ava’s hair away from her face. “Hey, sweetie. Are you getting tired?”
Ava nodded and popped her thumb in her mouth.
“Want to cuddle with me?”
Ava hesitated, searched the yard until her gaze settled on Sully, then she nodded again.
Zoe lifted her and carried her back to the chair. She cradled Ava in the curve of her arms and wrapped the bedraggled blanket around her. The pink shirt she’d worn to the training class this morning was smudged with chocolate.
Ava’s eyes fluttered a minute before closing. Within seconds, her breathing relaxed.
She kissed Ava’s head and breathed in the scent of her baby shampoo mingled with the sugary sweetness of the melted marshmallow sticking to her cheek.
A yearning she hadn’t felt in a while tugged at her heart. It had been so long since she had held Griffin like this.
Now he had started fourth grade. Where had the time gone?
She peeked over the fire at him. Instead her gaze tangled with Sully’s. An expression she couldn’t quite make out flickered over his face. He said something to Griffin, who glanced at her and nodded.
With the football tucked in his arm, Sully jogged across the yard to her. Griffin stooped to help Ella catch fireflies.
Sully dropped the football on the ground and dragged a chair next to hers.
His eyes roamed from the top of her head to the tips of her feet. Then a slow smile spread across his face. “My sweatshirt looks good on you.”
Warmth spread across her face.
“So does my daughter.” He brushed Ava’s curls off her forehead and leaned over to press a kiss to her soft skin.
Inches from her face, Sully caressed Zoe’s cheek. “I’m glad you came.”
“Me, too.” Her breathing hitched as he watched her with darkened eyes.
His thumb traced the curve of her bottom lip as his eyes lingered on her mouth.
If she leaned forward just a—
“Daddy! Look! Griffin caught a firefly.” Ella bounced over to him and tugged on his arm. “Can we have a jar? Please, Daddy?”
Sully jerked up and nearly tripped over his chair as he jumped to his feet. He scrubbed a hand over his face before turning to Ella. “Yes, sweetie. I’ll find a jar for you.”
Zoe bit the inside of her cheek, but it wasn’t enough to hold back the giggle tickling her throat.
Sully leaned over and whispered in her ear, his voice low and husky, “The next time I think about kissing you, there will be no interruptions. I promise you.”
She stifled a shiver and locked in on his words—next time.
Caleb Sullivan wanted to kiss her.
He turned and strode into the house. He returned a moment later with a jar and a fleece blanket. He handed the jar off to Griffin, then spread the blanket out beside Zoe’s chair. “Why don’t you lay Ava here? It’s got to be killing your back, holding her like that.”
“It’s not that bad, but she may be more comfortable if she can stretch out.” Zoe leaned forward to pass her to Sully.
Ava batted at Zoe’s arm. “No, Riley.”
Zoe froze, and Sully’s head jerked up. “Did you hear that?”
“Yes.”
Grinning, Sully laid her on the blanket and covered her up with an opposite corner. “Maybe there’s hope for her yet.”
“She hasn’t spoken a single word since Valerie left?”
“Not one, but I’ve always known she’d speak when she’s ready. I’ve made an appointment with a specialist now that we’re somewhat settled.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling settled. From what you’ve said, this past year has been tough on you.”
“Yes, but we’re managing.” Sully stifled a yawn.
Zoe pulled back her sleeve to check the time. “Maybe Griffin and I should go so you can get the girls inside and into bed.”
“Getting the girls to bed isn’t a bad idea, but I don’t want you to leave. Ella still has plenty of energy to burn off.” He nodded to Griffin kneeling in the grass beside Ella as they filled their jar with lightning bugs. “Griffin’s a great kid. He’s very patient with my little chipmunk.”
She smiled. “Thanks. I think I’ll keep him.”
Sully dropped in the chair next to Zoe. For a moment, they listened to the crackling of the fire, the night sounds and Griffin’s low tones talking with Ella.
“When Ian and I were little, we used to catch fireflies.”
“I think it’s a rite of passage during our childhoods.”
“Yes, I agree. My mom didn’t appreciate me releasing them in Ian’s bedroom, though.”
Sully laughed. “I’m sure she didn’t. We don’t have many nights left to see them. Soon it will be too cold.”
He stretched an arm over the back of Zoe’s chair. His fingers stroked her shoulder. “Would you like to go to dinner sometime?”
“Just the two of us?”
“Yes.”
She peered at him by the light of the fire. “Do you think it’s a good idea?”
Sully leaned forward and tossed a small log on the burning embers, and used a paper plate to fan the flames. “Actually, yes, I think it’s a great idea, which is why I brought it up.”
Zoe wanted to say yes. So what was holding her back?
“Sully...”
He pivoted to look at her. “Look, Zoe, I know we both have a lot going on in our lives right now, but the truth is—I like you. I don’t believe our meeting up after all these years was a coincidence. I believe God brought us together for a reason. What’s the harm in taking things slow and seeing where they lead?”
The harm was she could end up losing her heart to the one guy who should have had it all those years ago.
* * *
Caleb’s head and heart battled with casualties on both sides.
He was a walking contradiction.
His heart begged him to call Zoe and reassure her they’d be great together. Then his head pulled him back with reservations about their pasts colliding with their futures.
He stoked the burning embers. A swirl of smoke stroked his nose. He dropped in his chair and burrowed deeper into his fleece pullover. The night air chilled his face, but he wasn’t ready to call it a night. He picked up the sweatshirt Zoe had borrowed off the empty chair and breathed in her lingering fragrance mixed with smoke.
Riley followed him outside and jumped in his lap. While Caleb stroked his silky fur, he pondered the past few hours.
The evening had gone better than expected, especially after Baxter’s bombshell had left him reeling for the rest of the afternoon. He’d stumbled through the house like a zombie, but managed to pull it together before Zoe and Griffin had arrived. He didn’t tell Zoe what he had learned because, quite frankly, he didn’t want it to cast a shadow over their evening.
He rested his head against the back of the chair and stared at the stars glistening against the sooty sky. Fatigue seeped through his bones.
He tried not to let the disappointment from Zoe’s lack of commitment to his request for dinner filter through his thoughts and discourage him.
Maybe he shouldn’t have said he liked her. At least, not yet. That was kind of stupid, considering he still had reservations. Even though he meant it, he struggled against those
feelings because he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.
Not just with giving his heart to someone else, but falling in love with someone who had been involved with alcohol.
But Zoe wasn’t like Val.
No, she seemed to have overcome her past and had goals in place for her future.
He respected that.
God did bring them together again, so what did he have to do to convince Zoe they should at least see where this relationship could go?
“Hey, what are you doing sitting out here by yourself?”
Caleb turned to find his sister, Sarah, walking through the yard. “Where’d you come from? I didn’t hear you pull up.”
“I parked in the driveway, looked for you inside, checked on the girls and came out here. The back door was open.” She leaned down and gave him a one-armed hug, then held both hands over the fire.
“My attack dog didn’t even stir.” Riley stirred long enough to see who was talking, then dropped his head back on Caleb’s thigh. “I left the door open to listen for the girls.”
“Blame it on my superior ninja skills.” She grinned, the fire casting half her face in shadows. She wore jeans and a pink hoodie.
“Yes, I’m sure that’s what it is. So what brings you by so late?” He nodded toward the empty chair. “Have a seat. You cut your hair.”
She pulled her fingers through her straight hair cut to her chin. “Yeah, time for a change, I guess.”
Sarah dropped into the same chair Zoe had used. She leaned forward and rested her folded arms on her knees. “Mind if I crash with you for a few days?”
“Of course not. What’s going on?”
“Adam and I broke up.” Her voice caught. She dashed a hand across her cheek, then fingered her bare ring finger on her left hand. “And I quit my job.”
Caleb sat up, nearly dumping Riley off his lap. “Seriously? Your wedding is in six weeks.”
“For reals. Apparently he decided he’s not ready for a commitment of this magnitude.” She made air quotes around the last few words. “I couldn’t stay with the outreach program because he’s so heavily involved in it, too.”
“I get that you’re hurting, and for that I’m very sorry, but can we agree not to use phrases like ‘for reals’? It’s up there with ‘totes’ and ‘adorbs.’”
“Ahh, the middle schoolers getting to you?”
“The kids are great. Their language... Wow, I feel like such an old man.”
“To them, you’re practically ancient, dude.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He turned and looked at her. “Seriously, though, Adam’s an idiot. How are you handling everything?”
Shrugging, she pushed her chair against his. Then she sat and rested her head on his shoulder. Her chest shuddered. “We were together four years, and he broke my heart. I’ve cried for two days, but I’ve decided I’ve wasted enough tears on the jerk. Maybe love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Mom and Dad fight constantly about Dad’s long hours and Mom’s spending. Not exactly stellar role models for marriage. And Val walked out on you.”
Caleb slung an arm around her shoulder, and then dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Just because my marriage fell apart, that doesn’t mean your love life is doomed.”
She smacked his arm with the back of her hand and wrinkled her nose. “Ew. Can we not call it my love life? That sounds like something Grandma would say.”
Caleb laughed. “What do you want to call it?”
“How about my relationship?”
“Fine. Don’t base your future relationships on your family’s failures.”
“I think that’s great advice for you to take, too, big brother.”
“It’s been a rough year.”
“I know, but don’t allow the shadows of your past to cloud your future, Caleb.” She stood and poked one of the leftover marshmallows onto a stick and pushed it into the coals. “Speaking of future, how’s Zoe the dog trainer?”
He stared into the flickering fire as the flames raced across the logs. Crickets serenaded them from their hidden depths in the grass. “Fine.”
“That’s it? Fine?” She pulled out her flaming marshmallow and blew out the flames.
“What do you want me to say?” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and clasped his hands. He wasn’t quite ready to share his feelings about Zoe with anyone, especially his baby sister.
She shrugged, pulled the marshmallow off the stick and shoved it into her mouth. “I don’t know. How do you feel about her?”
“We’re friends.”
“But?”
“But what?” Caleb leaned back and rubbed a hand over his jaw. “I like her, okay? Happy now?”
“I knew it.” She didn’t try to disguise the cocky tone in her voice. “Your tone changed when you said ‘fine.’”
“It’s not that simple, though.” He stood and kicked a burning log closer to the core of the fire, sending a shower of sparks into the air.
Sarah’s chair creaked as she settled back into it and licked her fingers. “Why not? You’re single. She’s single. Go for it.”
“She’s in a very vulnerable place right now, and I’m not going to take advantage of that.” He shoved his hands into his front pockets. “Remember Kyle, my college roommate?”
“Vaguely. Wasn’t he killed in a car accident or something?”
“Yes, and he was also engaged to Zoe. She’s a friend from Bartlett. She was driving the night Kyle was killed. Alcohol was involved, and she spent four years behind bars.”
“Are you serious?” Seeing he wasn’t joking, she shook her head. “Oh, the irony—the cop and the ex-con.”
“Enough, Sarah.”
“What are you doing hanging out with her?” She swatted him on the arm. “Why didn’t tell me about her past sooner?
He frowned and held up a couple of fingers. “One, I know her, and she deserves a second chance. And two, it’s not really any of your business, is it?”
Sarah tossed her hands in the air. “Caleb, don’t be an idiot. She took somebody’s life. You really want someone like her around your daughters?”
He ground his teeth. He wasn’t in the mood to fight with his sister, especially since she was hurting, but he wasn’t going to let her rip into Zoe. “You don’t know her, so don’t even start judging her. She’s had enough of that already. She’s broken up about what happened and carries that guilt every day. She has a kid who is growing up without a father.”
“Whoa. Are you serious?” Sarah jumped to her feet and grabbed his arm. “Oh, Caleb, what are you doing?”
He shook off her hand. An ache formed at the base of his skull. “At the moment, staring at the fire and wishing this conversation never took place.”
“Didn’t you have enough drama with Val? Do you really want that kind of relationship again? By the way, didn’t you get into some trouble at your old job because of some of Val’s antics? ”
He held up a hand. “Look, I appreciate your concern, but I know what I’m doing.”
She scoffed. “I’ve heard that before.”
“Low blow, Sarah. Zoe is nothing like Valerie. She doesn’t even drink anymore.”
“I love you, and I don’t want to see you hurt again.” Sarah slid an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.
He dropped an arm around her shoulder. “What makes you think Zoe’s going to hurt me?”
“What makes you think she won’t?”
He couldn’t think of an answer to that, and maybe that’s what bothered him the most. But he couldn’t help but remember Zoe from the early years. Yes, they’d both changed and grown, but deep down where it mattered, they were the same people. And that’s what he was banking on.
The las
t thing he wanted was to subject his daughters to more heartache, but his gut told him Zoe wasn’t going to hurt them the way their own mother had.
“You’re not answering, so that makes me wonder if you’re not already concerned about it.”
Caleb moved away and reached for his chair to fold it. He was so done with this conversation. “Of course I’m concerned. What about you? You spent four years with a guy who decides six weeks before the wedding he’s not ready for such a commitment. Does that mean you’re going to wrap your heart in bubble wrap and store it in the attic?”
“Interesting metaphor.” Sarah reached for her chair and folded it.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, but my situation was different. I don’t have two darling girls to worry about.”
He took the folded chair from her. He strode to the deck and leaned them against the railing. “Zoe has done nothing but treat the girls with love and respect. She’s very gentle and patient with them. They adore her.”
Sarah crossed her arms over her chest. “So if you don’t see a future with her, then maybe you need to break ties now before they get in too deep. If things don’t work out with you and Zoe, then those little darlings are going to be heartbroken all over again. You can handle it, but can they?”
Chapter Nine
The stench of cheap perfume and yesterday’s booze saturated the air. Staring at Gina passed out on the ripped and stained couch, Zoe had no choice but to make the call. It was the kind of call she couldn’t take back.
If anything happened to Gina, Zoe had no one to blame but herself.
When her friend called last night from The Sassy Cat and begged her to come down, Zoe refused. She wanted nothing to do with the seedy lounge on the edge of town known for bar fights, drug deals and worse.
But the strands of fear tangled with desperation in Gina’s voice had pushed Zoe to find her keys and confront her friend in the dimly lit parking lot adjacent to the bar’s lot reeking of stale beer and emptiness. She simply couldn’t violate her sentencing agreement by stepping onto the property, couldn’t risk her freedom, or destroy the trust she’d built with her family to follow her friend inside the bar.