“I’m not finished.”
“I don’t care.”
Dean’s arm blocked her from going anywhere. “You owe me this.”
“Fine.” Ellen huffed out with attitude. “Talk.”
“I want you out of my house.”
“I’m gone.”
Dean laughed. “You’re a real piece of work. When were you planning on telling me you were pregnant to him? Would that have been before . . .” Dean lifted and dropped her left hand. “Or after you married me.”
“Dean.” Ellen didn’t expect that.
“No.” He shook his head. “I could take the fact that you two were sleeping together moments before he got shot. And the baby. You got pregnant. That hurts, but still, it’s something in time I’d handle. But do you know what crushed me? I repeat the word crushed. Is when you told him you loved him. Love. I thought that was something you were incapable of. Wasn’t that what you told me all these years? You can never love any man? I told you I loved you. I loved you with my heart and soul. You let me tell you that.”
“Dean, you’re forgetting I was honest with you about the way I felt..”
Dean bit his bottom lip, he wanted to slam the wall again, but he controlled himself. “El, you don’t know the meaning of word honest. To you it means whatever you can get away with without getting caught. You lived with me for almost five years. Five years! Did it never occur to you that you’d hurt me? Why couldn’t you just be honest with me? Why couldn’t you just give me that decency? I deserved to know.”
“Why didn’t you walk away from me last year when you found out about us then.”
“Because you didn’t. You wanted to stay. In fact, if memory serves me right, you said you’d break it off. I just never bothered asking you if you did, because I trusted that you would. Just tell me. I need to know. How long has this been going on? How long have you really been with Frank? The truth.”
Ellen closed her eyes, and put her head back. She had to think of what to tell him. How to tell him. She opened her eyes and looked at him. The pain on his face said it all. It was time to end all of the deceit once and for all. “Dean. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” She moved to him, but he backed off.
“Oh, this is going to be good, isn’t it?” Dean shook his head. “Give it to me. How long?”
“Since we got to Beginnings.”
Dean’s mouth dropped open, an exhale came from him with almost a laugh it was such a shock. “We’ve been here five years.” Dean swallowed. “Five years?” He had been given all the information he could handle. “Thanks a lot, Ellen. Thanks a lot” With a lump in his throat, Dean left.
***
Composure time. That was what Ellen thought her and Dean needed, and she allotted that. Emotions were high, adrenalin pumped and things were said that shouldn’t have been. It was time to face the man she shared a family and life. With a clear, calm head Ellen wanted to talk to Dean. He deserved better from her than what he got. He deserved something she didn’t say to him in that hall. ‘I’m sorry’.
Containment is where she knew she’d find him. Around their children. And Ellen, leaving Joe with Frank, went there. Greg was behind the desk when she walked in.
“Ellen.” He set down the book he was reading. “How’s Frank?”
“He’s doing well. Thank you. I’ll keep you posted.” She moved to the main door. When the buzzer sounded off, Ellen pulled open the door. “If . . . if you hear any shouting. That’s just me and Dean. Don’t worry about it.”
“Dean’s not in there.”
Ellen stopped in her stride through. “He’s not? When did he leave?”
“A long time ago. When he went to help Frank.”
“And he hasn’t returned?”
“Nope.”
“Odd.” With concern, Ellen continued into containment. She was certain Dean would return. Why would he not? His children were there. And Ellen decided to wait as long as it took.
CHAPTER THIRTY
June 21
The headache. The pounding excessive headache was all Dean could think about. With eyes closed tightly, he buried his face tighter into the pillow. The pain throbbed from the base of his skull clear around to his eyes. Piercing pain, like a dagger.
He moaned softly, he didn’t want to move. His mouth felt like cotton, dry, gross. It couldn’t be a hangover, he didn’t drink that much. With every thought he had, his head ached. Vividly in his mind he pictured Ellen, he heard her voice over and over, ‘I love him, Dean. He’s my life. Don’t let him die.’ Besides having the world’s biggest headache, he felt like the world’s biggest fool. Five years they had been together without him knowing. Was he that blind? Obviously. The whole situation to Dean just sucked.
Dean remembered leaving the clinic and stopping at the empty social hall for one drink. One drink. No one was around, he grabbed a bottle poured a shot and it was lights out. His tolerance could not have been that low. Maybe the moonshine really was that strong. Whatever the reason he was paying for his momentary lapse into self pity.
It had to be morning, his body felt like it was. Dean didn’t want to move, but he knew he had to. Besides having to get to the clinic, he had to piss so bad, he was in pain. That alone was the reason to get out of bed. With eyes still tightly closed, wanting to avoid the brightness of the day, he lifted himself to a sitting position. After grunting out in pain, Dean rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. No, he thought, he had to get motivated. He spread open his fingers to peer his eyes through, breaking in the light gently. It was a dream. Dean looked around at the unfamiliar furnishings. He was in a bedroom, but not his. Dean worried. Though out of character for him, he feared in his drunken distraught state what he had done.
Turning his aching head to the side, he looked at the bed. Empty! His head flung back, with all the pain, in relief.
But then it caught his eye. The one thing on that bed, that shouldn’t be there. Blood? Dean reached his hand down to the pillow and felt it. Some of it was dry, some of it wet. Where did it come from? From him? Maybe that was the reason his head pounded. Had he fallen in a drunken rage?
He brought his fingers to his head and slowly felt around. They stopped cold on the large bump on the side of his head. The large, damp, lump. Dean pulled down his fingers and looked at them. Blood!
The door to the room opened with a loud creak. Dean lifted his stare from his fingertips, glared up and focused in on the person that entered the room. In shock, Dean rolled his eyes in disbelief, and blurted out just one word. A word that rarely, if ever, crossed his lips. A word that summed up his emotions at that one moment. “Fuck.”
***
Dean couldn’t avoid her all day. He never returned to containment, at least while she while there, and Ellen had to speak to him. In her mind, she believed fate intervened. Maybe it was best their paths didn’t cross until both had some separation time.
Joe arrived back at the clinic for his shift with Frank, and Ellen began her futile search. After being unsuccessful at the lab or at home, she went to containment again. If anything, Dean didn’t hate her enough to stay away from their kids.
Ellen underestimated Dean’s anger. When she arrived at containment, he was nowhere to be seen. She bit her tongue and ignored the sympathy cringe she got on behalf of Frank, when she saw Michelle helping out there. In the skills room Ellen spotted Paul holding Alexandra who was obviously crying. “Alex.”
Alexandra turned her little head, jumped from Paul’s lap and leaped into Ellen’s arms.
“Sweetie.” She ran her hand down her daughter’s long hair. “What’s wrong?”
Paul stood up. “She’s very upset. She misses her daddy. I’ve been trying to calm her for an hour.”
Ellen pulled her daughter back to look at her. “Honey, Daddy probably didn’t want to leave, he’s just busy that’s all.”
“I was alone.” Alexandra buried her head into her mother.
“I�
�m sorry. But I thought Daddy would be right back.”
“He didn’t come back.”
“Sure he did.” Ellen stroked her hair again. “You were sleeping. You just missed him that’s all.” She tried her hardest to comfort her daughter.
“No.” Alexandra argued.
“Yes he was. I know he was . . . ” Ellen then noticed Paul shaking his head. “Alex . . . I have to put you down for a second. Please? Mommy just needs to talk to Paul.” Ellen placed her daughter on the cot. “Stay here.” She kissed her daughter then walked to Paul. “What’s going on?” She pulled him aside.
“Dean wasn’t here last night.”
“How do you know that? I mean you just got here.”
“No, I didn’t. I couldn’t sleep last night. I was worried with everything that was going on. So I thought I’d come here and help anyone with the kids.”
“Maybe you just missed him that’s all.”
Paul shook his head once more. “As I was walking to containment, I saw you leave.”
“You’re sure about that? You’re sure he didn’t come in here?” Ellen questioned him some more.
“Positive.”
“Something’s not right. This isn’t Dean.” Ellen took a deep breath. Holding up her bangs, she looked back at her daughter then at Paul. “I hate to do this, but, could you occupy her.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Thank you.” Ellen waited until Paul approached Alexandra and asked her if she wanted to go with him to see his guitar. Ellen knew that was her clue, her sign, to sneak out and she left containment.
As she stood, looking clueless, she spotted the guard walking from around the building. “Dan.” She approached him. “Were you on last night?”
“Yes, why?”
“Did you see Dean at all walking around?”
“Uh . . .” He scratched his head and thought. “Yeah, I did. He went into the social hall. But I didn’t see him leave. You know, with my rounds and all.”
“Thanks.” Ellen crossed the street and walked down to the end of the block. She walked into the unlocked hall. Empty. She checked under the pool table, behind the bar, Dean wasn’t there. Someone had been though, a bottle of moonshine and an empty shot glass sat on the bar.
If Dean was drinking moonshine, it was no wonder she couldn’t find him. There were a few more places she could check, if she still turned up nothing, then she’d allow herself to worry and move on to the next option . . . telling Joe.
“Joe.” Ellen called from the doorway of Frank’s room. “We have a problem.”
“What now?” Joe rolled his eyes. “Is it bad?”
Ellen walked in. “At first I didn’t think so, now I kind of do.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t find Dean. He didn’t return to containment at all. He’s not in the lab or Andrea’s house. Dan said he saw him go into the social hall last night. But . . . nothing. I checked everywhere. I can’t locate him.”
“Do you think he got drunk, passed out somewhere and is sleeping it off?”
Ellen shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m starting to get concerned. You don’t think anything happened to him do you?
“I doubt it.” Joe stood up and walked to the door. “He probably drank too much and wandered into the woods again. I pull a check myself.” Leaving the room, Joe didn’t want to tell Ellen that he was concerned. Anything was possible. All Joe wanted to do was locate Dean, find him, see that he was fine, chew his ass out for being unreachable, then be grateful that he was all right.
***
“This isn’t happening to me.” Dean tried to stand up, but weakly fell back onto the bed. “This is just great. Just great. Are you telling me I’ve been kidnapped?”
Robbie squatted down in front of him. “At least we have you in a great room. The best.” He reached to the night stand. “Here, you need your glasses.” He handed them to Dean.
Dean grunted. He grabbed them and put them on. “There. Now I can see my kidnapper in focus.”
“I brought you some water.” Robbie showed him the cup
“I don’t want your water, it’s poison. I hope you aren’t giving that to the kids to drink. It hasn’t even been purified. Don’t give them anymore until I work out something.” Dean stood up slowly. “This is great. What the hell else could happen to me? Do me a favor. Shoot me. Just shoot me. Take me out like a dog and put me out of my misery.”
Robbie laughed and rose to his feet. “I wouldn’t do that. You’re too valuable.”
“Obviously not valuable enough to avoid knocking on the dome.” Dean touched his head. “I probably need stitches. I’m still bleeding.” He wiped the blood on the side of his jeans. “It’s going to be impossible to stitch my own head!” He began to shout and rant about. “Thank you!”
“Calm down. We aren’t going to hurt you anymore.” Robbie thought Dean was funny. “We need you. We planned on taking you. I am not the type of person to harm an innocent man.”
“Really? So it wasn’t you who shot your brother?”
“Yeah, it was. Frank was hardly innocent. You of all people should know that. Besides, I not only did myself a favor, I did you one, too.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean sat back down on the bed, he was having trouble balancing.
“Eliminated our biggest threat. Frank was your biggest threat to Ellen. He was my biggest threat to carrying out my plan. Now he’s gone. One obstacle eliminated.”
Dean began to open his mouth. He wanted to say. ‘You stupid idiot, you only wounded him.’ But he stopped himself. Robbie thought Frank was dead. With that on Robbie’s mind, then he underestimated Beginnings’ ability. “What did you do Robbie? Go to my house to get me, saw Frank and shot him just for being in the way?”
“Well . . . yeah. I guess. Sort of, it wasn’t exactly planned. Wanna know what happened?”
“No.” Dean knew enough of what went on in that house. “I’d like you to take me to see the kids now.” Dean began to stand.
“Tough.” Robbie shoved him back down. He pulled up a chair and sat directly across from Dean. “I’m going to tell you. You see, Dean, I had to get rid of the enemy . . . Frank. It was perfect, I see him going into your house. I followed. When I go in, I hear noises upstairs. So I walked up, slowly, right? When I reach the top, I see can see in the bedroom. And I see my brother, giving it to your woman.” Robbie stood up and placed his face close to Dean’s, whispering in his ear. “I mean giving it to her. Fucking her, Dean. In your house . . .” Dean turned his face away, but Robbie snatched it back, making him listen. “In your room. In your bed! I stood there. They didn’t even know I was there. I had the perfect opportunity. I could have gone in and put the gun to Frank’s head. But it wasn’t good enough. He had to see it coming.” Robbie released Dean’s face and backed away. “So, I went back downstairs and waited until I heard them walking around upstairs. Then I made a noise. I knew he’d come down. And when he did . . . Pow! And it was bye-bye- Frank. Oh, in case you’re wondering, I didn’t really hear that final scream of pleasure from Ellen. That should make you feel a little better.”
“Oh, yeah I’m overjoyed.” Dean was annoyed. “Are you done with this story?”
“You’re being rude. Here I am, the perfect host, and you’re acting like this?”
“How the hell else do you expect me to act? Whimpering? I’m too mad. The past twelve hours have been a dozy. First, the woman I love comes in to the clinic with her lover who’s been shot. I have to try to save this man. Then I find out that she’s pregnant to him. And if that’s not enough, she’s been screwing him the entire five years we’ve been together. Then you knock me on my head. Give me the worst headache of my entire life. Kidnap me and make me listen to you describe the perverted enjoyment you got out of watching them moments before you blew away your very own brother. Now is there a point that you are trying to make here? What is it that you want from me?”
“Whoa!” Robbie h
eld up his hands. “I was just . . .”
“I don’t want to hear!” Dean began to shout. “So you killed your brother. So you kidnapped me and a bunch of kids from town. Big deal. That doesn’t make you one up on anything. Now if you’re finished playing these sick-mind games with me, I’d like to see the kids you borrowed from us!” Dean rose from the bed and walked to the door.
If it was anyone else screaming at Robbie, he would have nailed him. But something about Dean intrigued Robbie. He liked him, and watching Dean ramble on in frustration was pure enjoyment. He needed him and in strong mind. Dean didn’t realize that he wasn’t just a pawn in the game, he was the main piece. With him, Robbie was certain, he had his check-mate.
***
“Oh, Frank I don’t know.” Ellen wrung out a wash cloth in a basin of warm water. She opened the rag slightly and began to run it across his neck. “If you could have seen the look on his face. He yelled at me, you know.” Ellen sat down on the edge of the bed. “I guess I had it coming.” She tossed the cloth in the basin and ran her damp fingers down his face. “I miss you. I wish you were awake for all of this.”
“He’d gloat.” Johnny commented as he walked in the room looking both drawn and sad. Not only was he concerned for his father, but he had volunteered to fill in as much as he could for Frank, as well. “How is he?”
“Same.” Ellen stood up, walked over to Johnny and kissed him. “Stable. He’s gonna pull through. He made it through the night. That was a big step.”
“Do you think he can hear us?”
“No. He’s not in a coma, he’s sleeping. And it’s induced.” Ellen went back over to his side.
“So why the conversation?” Johnny closed in on his father.
“It’s for me more than him.” Ellen folded her arms and looked at Johnny. “I talked to him all the time.”
“Did you want to go take a break or something?” Johnny asked. “I’ll sit with Dad.”
The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series Page 66