He wheeled himself out from under the truck and looked up at her. “What’s up?”
“Are you busy?”
“No, I was showing Jonas about trucks. You know how I work on them to clear my mind.”
Jonas wheeled his thin, dark complexion body out from under the truck. “I’m learning well.” He spoke femininely.
Frank twitched his head with a smirk at Jonas. “Check him out, El. He’s not even dirty.” He wiped off his hands and stood up. “What’s going on?”
Ellen folded her arms. “I need to speak to you. I really need to speak to you as my friend.”
“No problem.” He tossed the rag down. “Where?”
“My house?” She asked.
“Let’s go.” He followed her over across the street to her house.
“Look, Frank.” Ellen opened up the small fridge that sat on her counter. “Henry hooked this up for me before he left. Cold drinks.” She pulled out a beer for him. “Here.”
“Thanks.” Frank opened it. “What’s going on? Something is to bring me over here to talk.”
“Sit down.” She pointed to the kitchen table. “Please. I need some advice.”
Scratching his head as he gulped his beer, Frank pulled out a chair and sat. “You look different.”
“I’ve been sick.” Ellen sat also.
“I know that. Aside from that., you look ... almost happy.”
“Frank.” Ellen scooted her chair closer. “Something has happened.”
“You’ve fallen in love with my brother.”
“No.” Ellen waved her hand at him then grabbed his hand. “With all that’s happened to me, with all that I lost, I never thought what happened would make me happy but it does. I feel like fate has given me a second chance. It’s like God is giving me a little of a something back that I lost.”
“What are you talking about, El?” Frank gripped her hand. “What?”
“Frank, listen to this. I’m pregnant.”
Frank’s eyes widened and he took a drink of his beer then breathed out loudly. “Whoa.”.
“Think about it, Frank. To have that special love back, that unconditional love you only get from your child. I know this isn’t the world to be bringing a child into. I didn’t plan this, I swear. But I really think there’s a reason for it, don’t you. It’s a reason for me to go on.”
“It’s life.” Frank nodded in shock. “I didn’t think you and Pete were that close anymore.”
“We weren’t” She watched Frank’s eyes shift up. “I ... I had an affair on Pete.” She felt Frank pull his hand away. “No, Frank, don’t get mad please.” She grabbed his hand back. “I had this affair. It was one time in a hotel. That’s when I got pregnant. This is good, Frank. Something good came out of it.”
“O.K., O.K.” Frank gained his directive. “A baby is good. You’re right. And ... you can’t do this alone, not in this world. Even with us all going to Montana, you still need help. I’m here, El. I’ll help you with this kid.”
“Frank …”
“No listen to me. I’ll help you raise him or her. Don’t worry about it, I’ll be right.
“Frank no. I came to ask your advice on how to tell the baby’s father.” Ellen saw it, another look of shook on his face. “What?”
“El.” Frank nudged her. “Uh, the world died. How do you propose we find him?”
“Frank, he’s here in Ashtonville. He came to Ashtonville during the plague to find me.
“The Chinese guy? You’ve always had that thing for Asian men.”
“Japanese ... and no, not Henry. Dean.”
“Dean?” Frank stood up. “Little squirmy Dean? Little Dean?” Frank rambled. “You had an affair with him in a hotel room. Fuck, Ellen, what the hell were you thinking? Dean? Dean?”
“Yes, Frank, Dean. What’s wrong with Dean?”
“A lot and you aren’t telling him you’re pregnant.”
“I am too.” Ellen stood.
“No, you aren’t. You don’t know him. How well do you know him? You can’t be strapped down to a stranger the rest of your life. And trust me, he’ll hang onto you …”
“I like Dean, Frank. I like him a lot.”
“So.” Frank paced around. “Can he protect you in this world? Can he watch out for you? Can he teach this kid how to be strong and fight for what he needs? No. You have to watch out for this baby. It’s going to be a different world now”
“I know this.” Ellen tried to stay calm. “But won’t you be around? Won’t I have you to help teach my kid the physical things they need? Or are you going to walk away from me and all our years because I let Dean know he’s going to be a father?”
“No, I’m not walking away from you. I’ll never walk away from you. That’s why I’m telling you let me raise this child with you. He’ll never know.”
“He’s not stupid Frank. He’ll know. I told him Pete and I had problems. The time frame. He’ll figure it out. What are we going to say? It’s yours? You live across the street.”
“He won’t figure it out if…” Frank saw the kitchen door open and Robbie walked in. “If we tell him it’s Robbie’s. He’s been living with you. He’s been here since the beginning.”
Robbie shut the door. “What did I do? What are you talking about?”
“El, tell him. Tell him what you just told me.” He saw her mouth open. “No wait, I will. She’s pregnant, Robbie.”
Ellen threw her hands up and let them fall with a slap to the table. “Way to come right out with it.”
Robbie, just as shocked as Frank, slowly sat down. “Dean’s?”
Frank placed his hands on his hips and looked at his brother. “You knew?”
“Yeah, I knew. Big deal, El. You’re pregnant.”
Ellen nodded her head. “I’m having a baby, a baby. It won’t replace my children, but you know what? It will give me a reason to go on.”
Robbie swallowed hard then smiled. “This is really good news. So why are you two arguing?”
Frank pulled out a chair and sat down. “Tell her she can’t tell Dean it’s his. Tell her. She doesn’t know him. She knows us. He can’t help her like we can. He can’t protect her and this kid. She shouldn’t be raising a kid with a stranger. She should be raising the kid with people she trusts, me, you, and Dad. We’ve been like her family forever. Tell her.”
Slowly, Robbie blew from his mouth. “El, he has a point. Listen to me. I like Dean. I like him a lot even though he was an officer.” He turned to Frank. “Check that out, Frank. She had a one night stand with an officer.” He returned to Ellen. “You should be with those who you can count on. It’s a different world now. It will get hard out there. Having brains is one thing, but having the skills is what the kid will need. Raising the kid with people you know is what you have to do.”
Frank lifted his hand. “I told her all this. I also told her...we’ll, we’ll say it’s yours.”
Robbie swayed his head to Frank. “Mine? I can’t …”
“He doesn’t know that.” Frank looked at Ellen. “El, do this. Just like you said you need this, I can use this in my life too. Let me help you.”
Ellen closed her eyes and slumped down. “Frank, I think emotionally this will be too much for you.”
“No.” Frank shook his head. “No, it won’t be.”
Robbie reached over and took Ellen’s hand. “You’ve known Frank since you were a teenager. He’s the one you should raise this kid with. Do this for my brother, El.” He gripped harder. “Do this.”
Ellen shifted her eyes from Robbie to Frank. “You two are making this so hard on me. We’re all going to be together in Montana anyhow. How do you know I just don’t want to be on my own? How do you know I don’t want to raise this baby on my own?”
Joe cleared his throat as he stood in the kitchen doorway. “What baby?” He stepped inside.
Robbie removed his hand from Ellen’s. “Dad, what are you doing here?”
“Looking for you two. We�
�re supposed to meet about this run. What baby?” He saw his son’s sitting so close to Ellen. “Frank? Robbie? What’s going on?”
Frank stood up. “Ellen … Ellen can tell you.” He reached down and ran his hand over Ellen’s head. “I’ll see you later.” Seemingly nervous, Frank walked from the kitchen.
Robbie stood up and spoke to Ellen. “I’m heading to my Dad’s.” He leaned to her ear, whispering. “Think about Frank.” He kissed her on her cheek, smiled at his father, and walked out also.
“Ellen?” Joe moved to the table. “What’s going on?”
Fiddling with a napkin Ellen stayed silent, watching Joe sit down with her.
“Ellen?”
She looked up to him and took a deep breath. She tossed the napkin and smiled. “You’re going to be a grandfather again, Joe.”
“I am?” Joe smiled whole heartedly and kissed Ellen on the cheek. “Oh Ellen.” He kissed her again. “This is great. This is really great. I bet Frank is ecstatic. You must be really early on. I mean …”
“Robbie’s.”
“Robbie’s? Not Frank’s.”
“No, Robbie’s. He’s been living here, Joe. We’ve been ... well, you know. He and I are having a baby.”
“Ellen, what in the world is going on?”
“What do you mean, Joe?”
“I mean, as much as this baby is great news, a baby is always great news.” He patted her hand reassuringly. “And as much as I would like to claim this child as my grandchild--and I will if you let me, biologically, unless you were with Frank, this kid is not my grandchild. Robbie can’t have kids.”
Ellen cringed. “Shit. You know.”
“Of course I know. Christ, Ellen, I sat through his rheumatic fever. Now you care to tell me why you are telling me I’m having a grandchild?”
“I ... I am pregnant, Joe. I had an affair on Pete right before the plague. Robbie and Frank want to raise this baby. They say they can raise him or her right in this world now.”
“And they can. I’ll help too. You aren’t alone, Ellen. We’re family.” He saw the expression on her face. “Why do I feel there is more to this story?”
“There is.” Ellen took another breath. “When you walked in, they were convincing me to let everyone believe this baby was Robbie’s and I’m going to do that. It’s the right thing to do, for Frank, for me, for everyone. So let’s just drop it and don’t spill your guts about it.”
“You seemed to have a problem with this. It won’t look like you cheated on your husband.”
“Who cares about that? Me save face?” Ellen fluttered her lips. “I don’t have a problem with it.”
“Good. I’ll be happy to say it’s my grandchild.” Joe stood up. “I have the meeting to go to with some of the men.”
“Don’t say anything yet, Joe.”
“Why?” Joe paused in his stride out.
“Let some time pass please.”
“Why?” Joe grew even more curious.
“Because the father is here in Ashtonville and I don’t want him to suspect.”
“What!” Joe’s loud voice shot right through her. “Who?”
Ellen cringed and peeped out, “Dean.”
“Jesus Christ.” Joe slapped his head. “Dean? Dean?” He returned to the table. “I should have known. I thought you two were just friends. Dean? You had an affair on Pete with Dean?”
“Yes I had an affair on Pete with Dean. So what? There’s nothing wrong with Dean. I like Dean.”
“So why are you hiding the fact that your carrying his baby from him?”
“Because Frank and Robbie said I should. They said I shouldn’t raise this kid with a stranger. That Dean isn’t, I guess, strong enough.”
“And you’re listening to those two assholes?” Joe snickered through his angry words. “It’s not right, Ellen. It’s just not right. Yeah Dean isn’t what my boys consider ‘a tough guy’ but it’s not like this child is going to be raised by only him. Hell, you have us all around to make sure this kid isn’t a squirrel. And who the hell says you have to end up with him? If you want to, do it. If you don’t, that is your choice. But don’t you think in a dead world, this man has the right to know he’s been given life?”
“But Frank and Robbie …”
“Screw Frank and Robbie.” Joe stood up. “I’ll tell you why there doing this and it has minimal to do with the baby. Robbie has had a crush on you forever. Frank, he depends on you as his best friend. They both have you right where they want you right now and they’re afraid someone else is going to step in and snatch you away. So what? It’s your life Ellen and your baby. Don’t let them two knuckleheads tell you what to do.” Joe waved his hand with an ‘eh’ as he moved to the kitchen door. “You tell Dean. You tell him he’s having a baby. And if he doesn’t know by the time you get back from this run, if you don’t tell him, guess what, Ellen ... I will.”
As she watched Joe leave, Ellen knew at that moment why she always looked to him as a father. And the fact that he just scolded her like one ensured that fact.
Friday, June 26- 8:45p.m.
30 miles north east of Buff1o, New York
They stopped for the night at what used to be a camp site. Perhaps a place where people vacationed, it had everything, recreation hail, shower area, and Bingo set-up. Dean sat on his sleeping bag. He clanked his spoon into his bowl and set it beside him, staring at Ellen who was illuminated by the small campfire. “You didn’t eat much.”
She shrugged, playing with her food. She too set her bowl down.
“I thought you liked Spaghettio’s.”
“I do. I really wasn’t that hungry.” She brought her knees up to her chest and folded her arms over them.
“Are you sick?” Dean asked.
“No, I’m just not that hungry.”
“1 wished you would have told me. I really would have preferred the beef stew in a can.” He reached out his hand. “Here, give me your bowl. I’ll take it into that kitchen and clean it up.”
“Thanks.” She handed it to him and watched him stand. He picked up the pot and his bowl along with hers and headed over to the building not far from them. She saw the beam of his flashlight disappear as he left. She rested her chin on her knees staring blankly out, in a daydream state where she lost track of time. The rattling of supplies told her she had let her mind wander off. Dean had returned. “That was fast.”
“Not really.” He sat down across from her. “Ellen ... can we talk?”
“I’d like that. You start.”
“I guess we’re thinking on the same lines here.” Dean reached down and played with the grass. “You’ve been really quiet since we left Ashtonville. Look, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I don’t. I’m not expecting anything from you. I like you. I really do. I just don’t want you to think I’m expecting you to be with me. I wouldn’t put that pressure on you like that. I appreciate you being friends with me. That’s all I need.”
“Dean, I’ve been acting like your friend because I didn’t know how you felt. Yeah at first …” She lifted up her shoulders, searching for the words. “At first I had to pull away from you. I had to deal with what happened with my children. I did and I still am but I was so rotten for the first week, I thought it would be too much to bring up what happened with us in Stamford. I thought if I worked with you—which by the way has been a great help to me—it would make us friends and it has. I didn’t want to push you into anything with a crazy woman.”
Dean smiled. “You aren’t a crazy woman. You’re a woman on the edge, but not crazy. Wanna talk about Stamford?”
“Let me just say, I loved what happened in Stamford. And ... I had every intention of meeting you on Sunday and seeing you again if you wanted to. I even told my friend Kelly that night I was definitely leaving Pete. You gave me the freedom to make that choice. Even if you blew me off, I was doing it.”
“I wouldn’t have blown you off, Ellen. God, I wanted to see you again.” Dean sco
oted over and sat next to her. “All I did over dinner with my father was talk about you. I left out the details of our sleeping together and you being married but I went on and on about you. I swear I fell in love with you the moment you stepped into that lecture hall.” He saw the serious look on her face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He began to get up.
“No.” She stopped him. “That was nice. That was really nice to hear. Do you ... do you still think you love me Dean?”
“Yeah I do. Crazy huh?” He tossed the grass he held in his hand. “I’ve spent a lot of time with you over these past two weeks and it’s only made me sure of it.” Dean saw her smile. “I’m glad that you weren’t being quiet with me because you didn’t like me. I thought maybe you regretted what happened.”
“Never and especially now I don’t. I was quiet because I didn’t know how to tell you something. I didn’t know what your reaction would be. I still don’t.” She rested her cheek on her arm.
“Tell me.”
“Dean …” She turned her body to face him. “Dean, I’m pregnant.” She smiled at him.
“Oh, El.” Dean blinked slowly. He sounded down, not what Ellen expected.
“What’s wrong? This is good news. At least I think it is. You don’t know what this means to me, Dean.”
“I think I do.”
“Then what’s wrong?” Ellen dropped her head. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
“No, I’m glad you did. But Ellen.” He lifted her chin with his hand. “You do know the virus is still in the air. You do know that this baby may not be immune to the virus.”
“I thought it would be. I thought two immune parents would produce an immune child.”
“They would, but Pete died of the virus. He wasn’t immune to it.”
“Pete?” Ellen laughed. “I haven’t slept with Pete in eighteen months. You, Dean, you’re the father.”
Dean stuttered. Inaudible sounds came from his mouth as he searched the right words for his response. Harshly he ran his hand down his face. “You’re kidding.”
“No.” She shook her head. “How are you with this?”
The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series Page 454